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Starting to 2nd guess my decision
- Thread starter DivaDoc12
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Please don't let what other people say to you discourage you from what can be a very rewarding and challenging field. In OB, as in many specialties, you are going to encounter people who are tired of what they are doing and feel down on their choice, this happens periodically. Please remember, that you may be catching this person on a bad day or in an off moment. As far as non-OB commentary on your decision, there is a reason why THEY did not go into OB, but those reasons often have nothing to do with what is right for you.
You can chose a specialty with the best call the most flexible hours and the easiest schedule and still be miserable if you don't love what you're doing. The fact that you were able to work all of those hours means that you really do take interest in this field and care about these patients. Think about how tedious the rotation would have been if you really hated what you were doing, or worse yet, felt apathetic about it. Patients deserve doctors who feel passionate about what they have chosen to do.
As far as lifestyle, there are many different ways to practice and many different types of practices available. I have met many OBs who continue to have a full family life, but perhaps they work part time or don't make as much money as those who are willing to put in more hours. If that's what is important to you then figure out how best to balance your life and work and make your career what you want it to be. If you end up wanting to do family practice because you love what a family practitioner does, then that's your choice. You should love all aspects of that job though, and I do agree with you that while some are very good at OB, having some of the practice limitations and lack of training would make me a little uncomfortable doing primarily obstetrics as a family practitioner. And a bad attitude will ruin your marriage, but you can also develop a bad attitude if you are not personally and professionally satisfied with the work you are doing, even if the hours are fewer.
At the end of the day, you have gone through years of hard work and preparation for this reward... to choose for yourself what you want to do and how you want to live. Take your time and make the most of this choice, but don't listen to anyone but yourself. In the long run it is you that has to be able to get out of bed every morning and be excited about what you do. I know I have been happy with my decision, and I hope that you make a decision you are equally happy with.
You can chose a specialty with the best call the most flexible hours and the easiest schedule and still be miserable if you don't love what you're doing. The fact that you were able to work all of those hours means that you really do take interest in this field and care about these patients. Think about how tedious the rotation would have been if you really hated what you were doing, or worse yet, felt apathetic about it. Patients deserve doctors who feel passionate about what they have chosen to do.
As far as lifestyle, there are many different ways to practice and many different types of practices available. I have met many OBs who continue to have a full family life, but perhaps they work part time or don't make as much money as those who are willing to put in more hours. If that's what is important to you then figure out how best to balance your life and work and make your career what you want it to be. If you end up wanting to do family practice because you love what a family practitioner does, then that's your choice. You should love all aspects of that job though, and I do agree with you that while some are very good at OB, having some of the practice limitations and lack of training would make me a little uncomfortable doing primarily obstetrics as a family practitioner. And a bad attitude will ruin your marriage, but you can also develop a bad attitude if you are not personally and professionally satisfied with the work you are doing, even if the hours are fewer.
At the end of the day, you have gone through years of hard work and preparation for this reward... to choose for yourself what you want to do and how you want to live. Take your time and make the most of this choice, but don't listen to anyone but yourself. In the long run it is you that has to be able to get out of bed every morning and be excited about what you do. I know I have been happy with my decision, and I hope that you make a decision you are equally happy with.
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I think that while it is okay for you to be second guessing your career decision, you should be remembering some of the greatest things about OB/GYN (compiled by yours truly). If you had told me before med school that I was going to be an OB, I would have said that you were crazy. But on my third year rotation I fell in love with it, much like you did, and while I really considered other specialties I could stop thinking about how much fun I had on my 2 month rotation. Anyway, here is that list my favorite things about OB/GYN (sure there are some negatives too, but so does every specialty)
1. Patient loyalty that few other specialties get to have. (my mother still knows the name and birthday of the OB/GYN that delivered me and my sisters, but can't remember the family doc that we went to just last year. I have oftentimes been told as well that an OB/GYN will be the only doc a patient goes to in a year)
2. Despite only women, a huge divesity in patient problems. (This may be secondary to the fact that you may be your patients only doctor. It would be pretty cool in my mind to be talking about BP control one minute and then doing an emergency section the next)
3. One of the few specialties that gets both great internal medicine training along with a lot of surgical training.
4. The amount of work you want to do after residency is completely up to you. (This can really be said about any specialty, but with the increasing use of laborists in the hospital the choice really is yours if you want to deliver your patient at 3 in the morning or not)
5. Patients for the most part are young, healthy, and only have 1 or 2 problems that need to be taken care of. (and probably best of all, you will know how to fix those 1 or 2 problems; no consulting half the hospital to fix their problems. An entire wing of the hospital will be your domain)
This is just the start of my list that I have made in my head to the question on the interview trail of 'why OB?' Feel freel to add your own to the list.
P.S.
Don't worry about the money; once you join a practice or go into academia, you will pay collectively as a group for malpractice and thus its not really money coming out of your pocket. You will make a fine living and have plenty of time for your family (sure there will be weeks when you miss a school play or a soccer game, but I ask you to find a specialty, other than family practice, that won't do that)
1. Patient loyalty that few other specialties get to have. (my mother still knows the name and birthday of the OB/GYN that delivered me and my sisters, but can't remember the family doc that we went to just last year. I have oftentimes been told as well that an OB/GYN will be the only doc a patient goes to in a year)
2. Despite only women, a huge divesity in patient problems. (This may be secondary to the fact that you may be your patients only doctor. It would be pretty cool in my mind to be talking about BP control one minute and then doing an emergency section the next)
3. One of the few specialties that gets both great internal medicine training along with a lot of surgical training.
4. The amount of work you want to do after residency is completely up to you. (This can really be said about any specialty, but with the increasing use of laborists in the hospital the choice really is yours if you want to deliver your patient at 3 in the morning or not)
5. Patients for the most part are young, healthy, and only have 1 or 2 problems that need to be taken care of. (and probably best of all, you will know how to fix those 1 or 2 problems; no consulting half the hospital to fix their problems. An entire wing of the hospital will be your domain)
This is just the start of my list that I have made in my head to the question on the interview trail of 'why OB?' Feel freel to add your own to the list.
P.S.
Don't worry about the money; once you join a practice or go into academia, you will pay collectively as a group for malpractice and thus its not really money coming out of your pocket. You will make a fine living and have plenty of time for your family (sure there will be weeks when you miss a school play or a soccer game, but I ask you to find a specialty, other than family practice, that won't do that)
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Are you currently an OB/GYN resident? Do you have any idea the range of call that current Ob/gyn's have in practice right now? Would love to hear your input...I am thinking about OB/GYN but the lifestyle really scares me...I do not want to constantly feel tired and would love time with my family...any input?
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I have posted about this before, but this question comes up almost every year. I also did not see myself doing ob/gyn until I fell in love with it during my third year rotation. I matched into a great program and thought that since everyone said you could have a family and be an ob/gyn, well, I could to. I already had a toddler during my internship and round about October, I started second guessing my decision. I can truly say I LOVED ob/gyn practice and I was good at it. Really, this field was for me. BUT I also want to be a mother and I found that I could not be the mother I wanted to be and remain in that field. Of course, I was an intern so I started talking to everyone I could find about their lives and their family lives and what they were really like (because we all know intern year is hard). What I found, convinced me that I had to switch fields. I asked specific questions about how they navigated it all and the answers did not match up to what I wanted. This is not to say that the answers didn't match up to what every mother wants because I was talking to people who were happy with how they had figured things out. But MY definition of what it meant to be there for my family was not what they were describing. I switched to psychiatry (after MUCH soul searching) and although I do miss ob/gyn a lot, I am incredibly happy with my decision and I know it was the right one for me and my family.
So, my advice is to ask specific questions. Not just "do you get to spend time with your family" but "how often do you have dinner with your family" (if this is important to you). And even "what time do you eat". You may find that they eat dinner with their family every night but it's not until 10 pm and that the kids are kept up for this purpose. Seriously.
I agree with this "you will only be happy in life if you are happy at work" up to a point. Work isn't everything. Lifestyle is also important. Obviously it shouldn't be the only thing in your decision, but I argue that it should be taken into account. Even if that means saying, "no, lifestyle doesn't matter to me." At least you've considered it. Ob/gyn IS a hard lifestyle. Laborists are not the answer to all the problems. Part time is not always feasible. I encourage you to really look into this, you may find it IS the field for you. But best to have as much info as you can before you commit. Oh, and I want to add that ob/gyn is an AMAZING field. It's just not right for everyone, even for some of us who love it. Good luck!
So, my advice is to ask specific questions. Not just "do you get to spend time with your family" but "how often do you have dinner with your family" (if this is important to you). And even "what time do you eat". You may find that they eat dinner with their family every night but it's not until 10 pm and that the kids are kept up for this purpose. Seriously.
I agree with this "you will only be happy in life if you are happy at work" up to a point. Work isn't everything. Lifestyle is also important. Obviously it shouldn't be the only thing in your decision, but I argue that it should be taken into account. Even if that means saying, "no, lifestyle doesn't matter to me." At least you've considered it. Ob/gyn IS a hard lifestyle. Laborists are not the answer to all the problems. Part time is not always feasible. I encourage you to really look into this, you may find it IS the field for you. But best to have as much info as you can before you commit. Oh, and I want to add that ob/gyn is an AMAZING field. It's just not right for everyone, even for some of us who love it. Good luck!
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I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. I have 2 kids and a great marriage and am an ob/gyn resident. I'm getting slammed by intern year but I have fun every day of my life. However I love to be busy, I work in a program with HAPPY residents, and I love both OB and GYN.
On the other hand, I have friends and classmates in my program and in others who are mostly in the specialty because they just "love catching babies." They aren't as happy. They seem to be having a tough time adjusting. I see them stress and angst over little things.
If you just enjoy deliveries and don't feel that desperate drive to be in the OR no matter the time of day or number of hours worked, family med would be a better fit. I think it is really unfortunate when people switch out of a residency part way through as it takes a spot that could have gone to another great applicant who wouldn't walk out.
If you aren't 100%, don't take a spot from someone else and run the risk of leaving a program high and dry and leaving yourself in a tough spot trying to decide on the fly what to do with your life.
On the other hand, I have friends and classmates in my program and in others who are mostly in the specialty because they just "love catching babies." They aren't as happy. They seem to be having a tough time adjusting. I see them stress and angst over little things.
If you just enjoy deliveries and don't feel that desperate drive to be in the OR no matter the time of day or number of hours worked, family med would be a better fit. I think it is really unfortunate when people switch out of a residency part way through as it takes a spot that could have gone to another great applicant who wouldn't walk out.
If you aren't 100%, don't take a spot from someone else and run the risk of leaving a program high and dry and leaving yourself in a tough spot trying to decide on the fly what to do with your life.
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I've actually had some similar experiences. If I had a nickle for every person who told me that the life of an OB/GYN is horrid, I could retire.
That being said, I take pleasure in two things about this sentiment:
1) The people (interns, residents, fellows, and attendings alike) who really love OB/GYN, REALLY love their career and lives. I kinda feel like I'm going to be in that group...no other specialty really lights my fire like OB. I think that family is very important, as is time away from work. But to find a career that really makes you happy makes it easier to find that balance. I did this in my last career for more than a decade and was VERY satisfied with my life despite Q3-4 call. I think it's hard to find the balance if you aren't REALLY happy with difficult situations, which is what make demanding fields so unattractive to people that aren't 100% sure.
2) Call me a rabblerouser (sp?) but I kinda like it when people tell me that they hate what I love. Makes me feel unique. Makes me feel like I'm doing something that many other people can't/won't do. This helps me feel like I will really be providing a service that is needed, and not something everyone can do. I actually had a senior staff internist ask me what I was going to do with my life the other day. I told her OB/GYN and she felt that it was appropriate to respond with "Ewww...I HATED my OB rotations!!!" All I could think to say was "I get that a lot from you medicine types, looks like we're on the right sides of the fence."
This being said, I'm only an MSIV and have yet to experience the wrath of internship. I have just come off of my third month of OB/GYN in a row and can tell you that they've been the best 3 months of med school. My wife has also noticed. I've been so satisfied with work, and have been so much more likeable at home, she doesn't even complain about the 15 hour days that she and my kids endure without me.
Ya gotta do whatcha love. Finding whatcha love is the hard part. -Someone famous, I'm sure.
That being said, I take pleasure in two things about this sentiment:
1) The people (interns, residents, fellows, and attendings alike) who really love OB/GYN, REALLY love their career and lives. I kinda feel like I'm going to be in that group...no other specialty really lights my fire like OB. I think that family is very important, as is time away from work. But to find a career that really makes you happy makes it easier to find that balance. I did this in my last career for more than a decade and was VERY satisfied with my life despite Q3-4 call. I think it's hard to find the balance if you aren't REALLY happy with difficult situations, which is what make demanding fields so unattractive to people that aren't 100% sure.
2) Call me a rabblerouser (sp?) but I kinda like it when people tell me that they hate what I love. Makes me feel unique. Makes me feel like I'm doing something that many other people can't/won't do. This helps me feel like I will really be providing a service that is needed, and not something everyone can do. I actually had a senior staff internist ask me what I was going to do with my life the other day. I told her OB/GYN and she felt that it was appropriate to respond with "Ewww...I HATED my OB rotations!!!" All I could think to say was "I get that a lot from you medicine types, looks like we're on the right sides of the fence."
This being said, I'm only an MSIV and have yet to experience the wrath of internship. I have just come off of my third month of OB/GYN in a row and can tell you that they've been the best 3 months of med school. My wife has also noticed. I've been so satisfied with work, and have been so much more likeable at home, she doesn't even complain about the 15 hour days that she and my kids endure without me.
Ya gotta do whatcha love. Finding whatcha love is the hard part. -Someone famous, I'm sure.
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I also wanted to point out that you can increase your exposure to OB by doing an OB fellowship after finishing your family medicine residency. Our fellow spends an entire year on labor & delivery exclusively, managing triage, managing the floor, doing vaginal deliveries & eventually repeat C-sections.
The difficulty may be finding a place when you graduate that will let you do that much OB and having enough patients to cover your malpractice. But, our prior graduates haven't seem to have much trouble finding a job.
S
Sepp
I am currently in my final year of OB/Gyn training and, although I agree that there are many positive aspects (see the KJMTTHWS posting), I think that you seriously need to consider the following things.
1) OB/Gyn residencies tend toward the malignant: This is less obvious than in Surgery (where attendings will directly yell at you). OB/Gyns are often drawn to the profession because they want to be liked. As a result of this, negative situations arise that are ineffectively dealt with and can poison the atmosphere long term.
2) Even with the variety of options for practice, lifestyle is an undeniably important and difficult to navigate issue. If you are really primarily interested in OB you would probably be better served by doing FP residency in a hospital with high delivery volume and no OB residency program.
I don't mean to discourage you from OB. It is just very important to consider the advantages and disadvantages carefully before making this decision.
1) OB/Gyn residencies tend toward the malignant: This is less obvious than in Surgery (where attendings will directly yell at you). OB/Gyns are often drawn to the profession because they want to be liked. As a result of this, negative situations arise that are ineffectively dealt with and can poison the atmosphere long term.
2) Even with the variety of options for practice, lifestyle is an undeniably important and difficult to navigate issue. If you are really primarily interested in OB you would probably be better served by doing FP residency in a hospital with high delivery volume and no OB residency program.
I don't mean to discourage you from OB. It is just very important to consider the advantages and disadvantages carefully before making this decision.
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Thanks for all the responses. I have begun interviewing for OB/GYN programs and I think I found some more suitable to my needs. I felt like it is everything I am looking for. I know that no matter what specialty I choose Residency is going to suck in as far as hours and workload!!! But I will get through it if There are supportive residents and faculty. I am not one to quit anything even if I am miserable I would never "leave a program high and dry" or anything of that nature. This is a an anxious time for fourth year medical students and I think alot of us are seriously considering our choices because we know they are life long decisions for us. Thanks again for all the advice it is truly appreciated.
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