Struggling with imposter syndrome

[Dr. Let 'er Buck]

Howdy folks,

Perhaps this doesn't quit fit into pre-med, but no other category seems like a better fit.

Background: Non-trad student (35, married, children), completing my undergrad this semester before starting M.D. school in the fall. Already accepted and all that jazz. First gen college student from a dirt poor background where father walked out on mother and me, then lived my childhood in poverty.

Sucked in high school before dropping out of community college almost 20 years ago. I am/was the LAST person who you would expect to make it into medical school. My family are all ranchers, mechanics/machinists, or some other type of skilled manual labor. Nothing wrong with that and I am damn proud of every one of 'em. But suffice it to say, my family doesn't get an education beyond high school.

I'm extremely excited that my goal of becoming a physician is coming true, but I have a nagging feeling that I don't belong. Sure, I fought through my undergraduate to get a decent gpa, then fought through the MCAT and my interviews. But I don't feel that I can be accepted in higher education since I'm kinda this redneck kid who decided to shoot for the moon. I see the hundreds of rejected applicants here and on other forums, most having hugely higher MCAT scores and gpa.

I understand that it is some variation of imposter syndrome, but I'm curious if others have felt/are feeling the same way. I almost feel guilty for having been accepted when so many other, more traditional, applicants were passed over. My advisor(s) have said it isn't necessarily the finish line but is the path taken to get there. My path is absolutely unconventional and full of insanity, but I'm surprised that THAT is a compelling enough reason to bring me into a program.

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[965978]

From a very broad perspective, there are two things that medical schools are mainly evaluating:

1) Academic Prepardness
2) Personality, values, and character

No one gets into medical school unless they have both. A lot of the traditional students with high MCAT scores don’t get into medical schools precisely because there are concerns about why they are going into medicine, or their behavior, or their maturity, etc.

You DO have both. You life experience has taught you skills that those traditional students don’t have, and that will get you farther than their practiced ability to answer a multiple choice question. And you clearly have a successful MCAT score and GPA worthy of academic success otherwise no school would have accepted you.

TL;DR: You do you man! Don’t worry about anyone else.

 

[seanm028]

The admissions committees are very good at what they do. They have assessed literally thousands of applicants. You did not fool them. If they accepted you over other people, it's because they saw something in you that they liked and wanted.

If you're like me, all the logic sometimes gives way to self doubt. Just keep reminding yourself of the logic. And working with a good therapist is underrated.

 

[deleted967981]

As an older nontrad (39 next month) starting as an OMS-1 this fall, I completely understand what you’re feeling.

As someone who grew up with a long blue collar line of family members, from a very small rural town in a state that’s not exactly viewed as “metropolitan” or desirable, I understand where you’re coming from on that end too.

Ultimately, I want to get my degree and return to my rural area serving the very people I come from. I like the fact that our shared background will hopefully help to make meaningful connections with my future patients, as well as show that a good ole boy (or girl) can make good with some hard work.

You’ve worked hard to be here, you deserve this, and you’re going to be a doctor! Just let it sink in, and eventually you’ll embrace your new identity

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Imposter syndrome is very common. You just have to trust that you wouldn’t have gotten accepted if you weren’t cut out for it. Schools have a very low acceptance rate and a very high graduation rate (and high match rates). It’s very unlikely that you’re one of the few who won’t be able to handle it.

 

[Dagrimsta1]

Yeah, felt like this as well cause I didn't think I was smart enough. Then I realized even if I somehow made it through the cracks, who cares? Now the only thing that matters is to pass, finish, and become a doctor. At the end of the day results are what matter and your main goal should be to learn as much as you can and succeed.

But luck isn't usually a factor with acceptance. There was something there that convinced the adcoms to accept you, just trust in it.

 

[curbsideconsult]

Impostor syndrome? Absolutely. Guilty? Heeeeeeeell no. I earned my stripes gahddammit and I'm not going to feel guilty for "taking" a traditional student's spot. BUT when I feel that med school is just getting too hard and I'm losing my motivation, I remind myself that hundreds, if not thousands of students would have gladly taken my seat in half a heartbeat.

 

[Dr. Let 'er Buck]

Thanks folks. I figured I wasn't the only one feeling this way. Despite taking five years to complete my undergrad, I still struggle seeing myself in college. It is almost surreal.

I certainly wouldn't trade this path for anything and am extremely glad to have made it this far

 

[puahate]

Arent we supposed to feel like imposters at this stage? We arent in med school yet.

 

[smukke]

Thanks folks. I figured I wasn't the only one feeling this way. Despite taking five years to complete my undergrad, I still struggle seeing myself in college. It is almost surreal.

I certainly wouldn't trade this path for anything and am extremely glad to have made it this far

And you'll keep feeling it. Through med school and residency, even sometimes as an attending from I've been told.

Unless you go into surgery. Even as interns they're cocky 😛

 

[Crayola227]

Channel it into a drive to bring something to the table that others don't. Strive to embody the most integrity, compassion, and excellence you can. In essence, fight imposter syndrome by doing all you can to not be an imposter. Do your best to be the real deal. Best coping mechanisms I've found.

 

[deleted480308]

Your student loan processor sure thinks you’re real.

Believe them

 

[Osminog]

I’m a non-trad with a non-healthcare background, and I have no family members working in healthcare. It sometimes feels like I trodded down an untrodden path without any direction, and that I ended up at my desired destination simply by accident—that if it weren’t for sheer luck, I would’ve taken a wrong turn and landed in a ditch somewhere. But then I remember the amount of hours that I’ve studied and the things that I sacrificed to get to where I am, and I feel better.

OP, the admissions officers accepted you because they saw the work you put in and they saw your potential to succeed—and they’re almost always right about admitted applicants’ potential to succeed; just look at US MD schools’ retention/graduation rates.

 

[M&L]

i feel like this all the time. I am an immigrant with no one else in the united states, from a poor family that is still back home. Sometimes i feel like medical school is where rich american kids go 🙂), and my schools will call me tomorrow and tell me that they made a mistake. So, YEAH. I totally get it. I think once you put on your white coat, and talk to your first patient, you will see that majority of patients are regular ppl that have their everyday struggles, and that you are uniquely qualified, because you've been in their shoes. You know real life. And i wouldnt be surprised if this is exactly what the admissions liked about you.

 

[TheAverageDoctor]

Nothing wrong with deciding to shoot for the moon! Ask anyone in med school and I'm sure they'll tell you about the guy/gal in their class who's 10-20 years older than everyone else. One of my best friends was a lawyer for 10 years before he decided to go into medicine. Another worked in accounting for a few years before med school.

It feels weird to do things in a nontraditional way, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to do. Your story shows tons of personal growth and experience, it's no wonder you stood out on applications. Admissions people aren't always looking for the guy with 20 publications, 99th percentile MCAT and letters from senators. More often than not the guy who decided to become a doctor at 35 adds much more to the class than the guy who decided to be a doctor at 19.

Good luck and enjoy the road ahead!