I got a cat. I've always felt far more kinship with dogs, probably because we're on the same wavelength, but I got engaged and that came with rescuing a little kitten out of a barn, and now I have a cat. I've raised him like a dog though, and now I have a little cat minion to go kill flies and stink bugs around the house. Despite my best efforts though, he is a cat and therefore has sociopathic asscat qualities. I find myself coming up with new ways to entertain Asscat. I now spend about $25 a month to buy a big bag of birdseed so I can keep the bird feeder filled so Asscat has something to meow at and pace back and forth over. This leads to my study breaks. I loved being outside before dental school, particularly hunting. If I wasn't hunting I was stalking something to photograph it. Now, however, I live in the dark heart of a city in a hospital parking lot and the most excitement I've had recently was chasing an opossum off the back deck last night. What times. I now get all of my predatory instincts out by hunting vicariously through Asscat. When the "bird alarm" goes off (cat chirring) and I'm at a stopping point I'll creep over to the French doors and slooooowly crack it open. Asscat knows the drill and starts getting all hyped up. As soon as the door is wide enough for him to poke his head out he gets all crouched down and his tail starts lashing and he undergoes general cat intensification. Then something will happen to trip his hair trigger and he'll launch. Before any of you weenies start harassing me about my cold heart and the poor birds, Asscat can't catch anything. He couldn't catch a burger on a plate. He can barely corner his food bowl. There is no lithe springing forth from the shadows with death's cold gaze. It's more like a huffing herp-a-derp with little white paws. But it's hilarious to watch and I like cheering him on. It's like being the parent of the fat kid on the soccer team. Then he realizes he's outside and it's scary outside so he comes running back inside and I can close the door and get back to studying. (On a side note, I've gone absolutely old-lady over the birds coming to my bird feeder. I have a species list taped to the wall and everything.) If there are no birds to harass I go find Asscat and lay down on the floor next to him and mess with him until he bites me and then we wrestle. Nothing promotes hand eye coordination like sharp, angry cat teeth. It's like Ricky Bobby with the cougar in his race car. It also gets all my frustration out over learning subjects THAT ARE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF DENTISTRY, and I can get back to it refreshed and with slightly less blood volume. So get a cat for study breaks, but be careful or you'll go from being a stud to becoming one of those losers who tells long stories about their cat on the Internet to strangers and hijacks otherwise productive threads to turn them into blog entries. Nerds.
(WTF am I doing on SDN?! I have to study, dammit!)