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Stupid STUPID STUPID!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by Tweetie_bird, Nov 12, 2002.

  1. Tweetie_bird

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    I swear I am a total @#[email protected] up. I had set an appointment two weeks ago with the Dean of Admisisons at a school that I already got rejected. I wanted to ask him and plead with hi to re-open my file and hopefully have him take a second look at it.

    I had scheduled the appointment FOR TODAY!! And in the rush of things, I completely forgot. This is a very pathetic excuse, but I have been really ill for a few days and today in the a.m. I absolutely crashed and slept right through the appointment today. :( I feel sad. What do you think I should do? Call him or the secretary back and apologize? Email an apology? Set up yet another time????

    I am really hoping this incident will not black-list me with other schools. Do you guys think it's possible?
     
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  3. klp14

    klp14 Member in Flipflops
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    It's okay, Tweetie. Stop for a second and take a deep breath. Sure missing the appt wasn't so good, but the best thing to do now is to figure out how to make up for it. I think you should give the adcom guy a call, explain that you were ill, and see if you can reschedule. Feel him out during the meeting by starting it off as a "how can I make my app better" and see if he would be receptive to "please pretty please reconsider."

    As for other med schools, as far as I know they don't really talk amongst themselves (do they?!?) so I think you're okay.

    Feel better soon!:p
     
  4. lola

    lola Bovine Member
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    tweetie :(
    OOOPS....

    well, i would probably call and send a note apologizing and forget it, but i'm a bit of a wimp. it's a bit much to ask them to meet with you again. they might offer to set up another time when you call, but if they don't i wouldn't push it.

    look on the bright side...i thought you were posting another rejection!

    i hightly doubt this incident will blacklist you at other schools.
     
  5. Premed2003

    Premed2003 Senior Member
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    In all honesty, I don't think you should ask for another appointment. He already made time for you in his busy schedule and you didn't show up. I would find it nervy if I were someone and the person who made an appointment with me claimed to be sick but didn't call ahead of time to cancel -- even though you're sick, he's going to think that's a lie because you didn't call to say you're sick. He was probably sitting there for an hour waiting for you...he's not going to want to do that again.

    I don't think it'll black list you. It's not that big of a deal, but he's probably just pissed at you. I don't think he's going to reconsider your app -- even if he might have (probably wouldn't have anyway because a rejection is a rejection is a rejection), but you're not going to get into a school after missing an appointment with the dean.
     
  6. womansurg

    womansurg it's a hard life...
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    No chance, Tweetie. Poo happens sometimes. Chalk it up to experience.

    Probably it would be good manners to contact the dean, let him know (with appropriate contrition, hat in hand...) what happened. However, the risk is that he'll potentially see this as a 'pattern' (couldn't make my appointment becuz....couldn't make great gpa becuz.....couldn't score high on MCAT becuz.....) and if he's holding a grudge it could get unpleasant.

    You might want to just bag that school and focus your efforts on more fertile soils.

    Hang in there, kid. It's one small misstep in a long journey.
     
  7. Indy

    Indy Member
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    Hey Tweetie -

    Really sorry this had to happen to you :( ...I've done that a couple of times before, albeit with deans and not admissions officers, but I know how it feels: you're afraid that they'll think you're pathologically irresponsible when in reality it was very much out of character.

    I'd say call or send an email or letter and apologize for missing the appointment. Without giving too much detail, just tell him honestly that you had it on your calendar, but forgot b/c you've been ill lately. At least this'll get him on your side, so you won't have to worry about him maliciously retelling the story to other schools adcom directors or something. This is what a friend of mine did last year when he missed a job interview.

    I wouldn't try to set up another time, though...getting them to re-open a file is hard enough, and getting them to re-open the file and overlook the missed appointment seems pretty unlikely. Even if they did give you another appointment, do you think the slim chance of admission is worth the effort of pleading with him? If you really want to go to the school, and if you'll kick yourself later for not trying, go ahead, but if you have other serious choices I'd say just focus on your other schools and don't worry too much.

    Hope you feel better soon. :)
     
  8. tBw

    tBw totally deluded
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    ummm...yeah.. "oops" says it all really. I don't think he would be too willing to make another appointment, but who knows. At the very least you should send a note apologizing. After all, you *may* be re-applying there someday, or be applying for residency there, or some further job...

    On the bright side, I really don't think this would 'black-list' you elsewhere.

    :(
     
  9. scootad.

    scootad. Senior Member
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    dont let this get you down too much tweetie. everyone forgets things sometimes, we are human not robots. and look on the bright side, at least this happened for a school at which you were technically out of contention and not a school you are still being actively considered for.
     
  10. chopsuey

    chopsuey miss independent
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    i agree with the boy wonder... though i doubt rescheduling with lead to anything fruitful (even if you get another appointment), I guess it doesn't hurt to try...after all, as scootad. was getting at, it's not like anything worse will come of this (i doubt that the med schools talk, and especially not about things like this...). good luck, babe!! {{{{{tweetie}}}}}
     
  11. scootad.

    scootad. Senior Member
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    one idea though this isnt honest, is to come in to the admissions office tomorrow morning at the same time your appointment was today and act as if your appointment is tomorrow, bring your planner with you and show them that you had the appointment marked down for wednesday not tuesday. this probably wont work but if your desperate it might be worth a shot?
     
  12. lola

    lola Bovine Member
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    :eek:

    don't do it, tweetie!
     
  13. Tweetie_bird

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    thank you for the responses.

    I sent an email to the dean (this is an out of state school) apologizing for missing our appointment. Checked my mail, and saw another rejection (9th rejection) from Pritzker.

    I feel so low.......words can't describe. Think I'll just go to bed again.
     
  14. Premed2003

    Premed2003 Senior Member
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    Hi Tweetie,

    How were you planning to meet with the dean? Were you going to drive a long distance to get there?
     
  15. Tweetie_bird

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    no. I was going to call the Dean.
     
  16. relatively prime

    relatively prime post happy member
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    I think if you call to apologize you won't get blacklisted. You Have to do something pretty bad to get blacklisted... like not show up for a formal interview without ever giving notice or apologizing.


    DOn't worry, you should be alright. :) However, there's probably no point in rescheduling as the others have said.

    Hey, the bright side is that this happened at a school you've already been rejected at! So there's no real damage.
     
  17. poloace

    poloace Senior Member
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    i don't think missing an appointment will blacklist you... smile tweetie!!!!! we love you!
    p
     
  18. Ma!

    Ma! Senior Member
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    I wish I could console you and tell you that when you get to be 47 you won't ever do another stupid thing....but its not true. Don't you hate the "whoopsie" stomach feeling when your mind casts over what you did? Trust me, it happens to everyone or they're lying. Hang tough and move on as quickly as you can!
    Love,
    Ma
     
  19. oldman

    oldman Senior Citizen
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    don't worry about having so many rejection letters. i have 17 of those bad boys myself. i even got one after i had already begun medical school. it only takes one slot. one position. one chance to get glory.
     
  20. Indy

    Indy Member
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    classic...sorry but it's pretty funny, what'd you do when you got the letter

    good thing you got into a school and started tho, it would've been pretty demoralizing to get the letter after you thought it was over. wonder why they even bother sending it out that late, the b*&#ards :rolleyes:
     
  21. actually, this happens all the time. after I got accepted at Tufts in July 2001, the only formal rejection I received of the 4 schools I remained waitlisted at before I left for Boston on 8/25/01 was NYMC. My mom told me that most of the others arrived at our old house in Maryland in early September, weeks after those schools had started. And get this MCP (now Drexel) NEVER sent me a formal rejection letter when I didn't get in off the waitlist.

    Tweetie, I'm sorry you're not feeling well, hope you feel better. When I read your first post I thought you were referring to UW and an in-person appointment, but was very relieved to find out otherwise. This process definitely sucks, but hang in there (one of my classmates had to try 3 times before they let him in!). I remember people when I was applying who interviewed at Yale and Wash U but were rejected pre-interview from Pritzker. I was almost immediately rejected from Pritzker, and after writing all those annoying essays too, so I feel ya. take care, and get well soon!
     
  22. BlueAvocado

    BlueAvocado Long Journey Ahead!
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    I agree with klp14 we are all human after all and we make mistakes and sometimes we are not able to live up to our appointments. I would just call back and explain your case and be very apologetic hopefully he/she will see what happened and understand it. Good Luck
     
  23. galen

    galen Senior Member
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    All that happened was he was waiting at his phone and you didnt call. So why didnt he call you??? Thats what I think most people would have done rather than sit there getting angry (That is if he had access to your phone number in the application form)
    There are many reasons someone cannot get a phone call thru--for example there was a terrible tornado storm across the whole midwest yesterday so he may not have expected a call at all....
    I would definitely call back since it is very possible that he forgot about the phone apptment too. Anyway it cant do any harm and would show you were conscientious about following it up. Just my opinion.
    BTW--You should not mind about those rejections they reject literally thousands of apps since the 2 you have mentioned are very exclusive med schools. You WILL be accepted somewhere. We are all rooting for you.
     
  24. pathdr2b

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    OK, What I'm going to say will probably make me the "Thread Troll" but oh well!

    Fisrt, I think it's time for you to evaluate just how bad you want to be a doctor. There's no way you should have missed this appointment even if it was a phone call. Chances are that this person will not forget and will "blacklist" your name. How do I know? Because I made a similar dumb mistake the first time I applied to medical school including sleeping through the appointment.

    After thinking about it months afterwards, I had to be honest with myself and admit that I really wasn't "ready" to go to medical school otherwise I wouldn't have missed what could very well have been my chance to attend medical school at that time.

    There's nothing wrong with not being ready to begin such a monumental effort but one has to be able to admit that now may not be the time. Remember it's God's schedule not yours and there's nothing wrong with taking a few years off from the rat race and reapplying at another time. Medical school is not going anywhere!
     
  25. Tweetie_bird

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    how did this person blacklist you??
     
  26. care bear

    care bear pink fuzzy user
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    i appreciate your willingness to stand out from the crowd, but
    i just wanted to ask,
    how do you know that it was missing that appt that caused you to be 'blacklisted" at other schools? perhaps your #s just weren't competitive?
    i doubt a dean would take a mised phone call so seriously as to take the effort to contact other schools and let them know about this candidate. . . but perhaps i am just too naive, i honestly don't know much about these things.
    in my opinion, (which i know is no more valid than anyone else's) , it seems like a missed phone appt. is one of those things that can happen to the best of us, whether or not we're ready to be a doctor. sometimes what is a signal for you (pathdr, in your case this may have indicated that you were not ready for med school) may *not* be a signal for someone else (tweetie, assuming she is sure that she *is* ready for med school.)
    mistakes happen. . .i know that as wannabe docs we all are trying to become ppl who make them less often than most. . but still, we're human. no better time to realize this than before getting into a profession that can be so pressuring and demanding.
    just my opinion... :)
     
  27. pathdr2b

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    There's no doubt I'm blacklisted at this particular school not from the application process itself. Although the Dean has since left, his then assistant is now in charge and she remembered me 2 years later!
     
  28. Tweetie_bird

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    I just had a conversation with the secretary of the school and I told her what happened (poor thing heard me cough and sneeze in the phone). She was quite nice to me and told me the Dean also understands that these things happen. She later asked me if I wanted to reschedule, which I did. They were so nice to me and that made me apologize a couple of more times....she said I did the right thing by sending him a note.

    So I have another appointment...and the saga continues.

    Pathdr2b: I do appreciate your points and wanted to address them. Yes, there is such a thing as on "God's time." I actually wondered this myself. I hardly ever miss an appoinment (actually, I can't remember the last time I was late for anything, much less not show up) and I started to wonder if all this illness and the blues are God's way of saying "don't go." Then I come to my senses and realize that it's been 2 years already after graduation, and I am so ready to start medical school.....I don't want to wait anymore. Not once have I thought that i may not make it once I am already in. I have no fear of what med school will bring to me and my lifestyle. I think of medical school as something I have prepared for for the last 6 years and I am pumped to matriculate.

    However, I do fear not getting in at all. Hope that makes sense.
     
  29. pathdr2b

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    You're right, I was not that competitive to begin with and missing the appointment exagerated the situation. But later when my stats were very competitive, it didn't matter since the Dean's assistant was now in charge and remembered the situation entirely. Not to despair, I took it as a "message" that this was not the place nor the time for me to be in medical school.
     
  30. relatively prime

    relatively prime post happy member
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    Dean's have better things to do than take the time to "blacklist" already turned-down applicants that miss a phone conference. I mean come on Pathdr2b... she was already turned-down by this school... the dude would have to be really out to get her for him to make the extra effort to blacklist her at other schools.
     
  31. pathdr2b

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    No offense, but I don't think you can put a time limit on what may be God's time for you. Two years out from receiving you Bachelor's degree is such a small amount of time. Without a doubt, something like 98% of all students admitted to will finish so I don't think fear of medical school is an issue. But I think a lot of you twenty something's may be setting yourselves up for great disappointments in life when you realize that it a rare thing for people to have lives that go exaxtly as THEY planned. You say you don't want to wait but as the past two years have shown you, you may have too. The point is that I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting! Besides, has anyone EVER asked their doctor "how long after finishing undergraduate did you start medical school"? In the end it just doesn't matter much.
     
  32. pathdr2b

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    I'm NOT talking about blacklisting here at other schools, just the one the dean works at. Geez, give me a break..................
     
  33. Tweetie_bird

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    I just got an email from the dean saying 'all's good.' Gosh he is nice!!!!

    I am so happy I didn't have to lie or anything to make a good excuse. Thank you all for the support and encouragement. You are all so wonderful. I appreciate the feedback (even if it's criticism) and don't know what I would do without SDN.

    YOU ALL ROCK!!!!
    :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
     
  34. Medical123

    Medical123 Senior Member
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    I am glad that the dean is willing to work with you, Tweetie! I hope it all works out for you.
     
  35. lola

    lola Bovine Member
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    see... honesty is always the best policy :) yay, tweetie! i hope he gives you some good advice.

    one thing about it not mattering when you go to med schools: well, i can't speak for tweetie, but for me the length of time off between college and med school is a concern. i don't want to be a pregnant 45 year old b/c i couldn't get into med school in my twenties and waited to have a family until my career was established. i agree that a couple of extra years out may do us all some good, but i am going to be VERY unhappy if i have to apply again next year.
     
  36. klp14

    klp14 Member in Flipflops
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    Yay Tweetie!! Maybe the sniffles helped.

    I hear ya, Lola. 45, pregnant, AND pulling 36 hr. shifts would really suck.
     
  37. BlueAvocado

    BlueAvocado Long Journey Ahead!
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    I agree with path on some things expecially on the dissapointments younger people have when they fail certain things in life and for things to not turn out the way they planned. But that's the cold truth to it, I really don't know much about blacklisting but I agree that we all have a number and if it's not ment to be then it's not ment to be.
     
  38. oldman

    oldman Senior Citizen
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    Awesome. In any regards at least the dean will probably remember you!

    It's also pretty nice that the dean is willing to discuss your application. Are you petitioning for them to reconsider your application?
     
  39. UCLA2000

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    He's not mad or anything. He may however think that you're not taking his school seriously (I doubt he's going to reconsider the application) but you WON"T be blacklisted at other schools (so don't worry about it).
     
  40. LoveDoc

    LoveDoc Respect the Rhesus Monkey
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    Tweetie,

    I walked into an interview for a Project Management job in a health management related field to a table of 6 people. I was already nervous when I opened the door, introduced myself, and went to fill the empty chair. The Director sitting at the head of the table looked at me sternly and said, "why are you 30 minutes late?"

    I looked around the room for a black hole ... didn't find one and decided to answer.

    I thought the interview started at 8:30 not 8.

    Needless to day I did not get the job and when I asked for post-interview feedback the director kindly blew me off never returning my calls.

    So..................the point that this man has contacted you and re-opened the door...count yourself blessed.

    Bye!
     
  41. PrincessCKNY

    PrincessCKNY Crown Royal Member
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    Yay!!! I knew it would all work out in the end! :clap:

    I am really glad you called them Tweetie. I was going to put up a post telling you that, but about a million others already had. Whenever stuff like this happens, it doesn't hurt to put yourself out there (like you did) and try again. Always tell yourself that the worst they can say is "No." If they did, it's their loss and they would be at the back of the line of schools waiting to admit you.

    The school's appreciate you talking to them and letting them know your feelings, etc. if they are really bothering you. They want you to be honest and open throughout the whole process. So why suppress those feelings/concerns that could make or break your application?

    Plus, from past posts I've read, seems like you have good phone/communications kills. All secretaries seem to love you! What's your secret? :)

     

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