Support/tips/advice for med student's loved ones

[des12]

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So my boyfriend just left to St. George's med school (in the Carribean) and it's obviously challenging for our relationship. I've read tons of posts, unfortunately I've seen the bad weighing out the good thus far. However the few good things I have heard I'm only allowing to stick with me. I guess this is the ultimate test huh! Or one big one I should say. My point for this thread is for feedback on those who've gone through the same thing or are going through this at the moment. I understand if you're willing to make it work it will, only if your willing...but tips, suggestions, advice, what to do, what not to do (obviously whining is on this list) would be OH SO appreciated!

 

[Sweenracer]

Don't do what this guy's girlfriend is doing....

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=436423

Other than that, just stick with it... one day he will done with school, residency, fellowships... hopefully you will still be young enough to have a life before retirement age.

 

[des12]

I saw that yesterday...terrible, no one should put up with that regardless if you're in med school or not.

Have you got one in med school?

 

[Pekoe]

Read The Rules. They work. It's not about playing games-- it's about being a me before you get a we.

Give him space but not too much. Plan for a break up-- if he breaks up with you, give him no reason to dislike you if you want him back. Make it so all he can say about you is that he lost you!

Get boudoir pics taken and invest in sexy lingerie of you are fooling around. Don't be a skank. Be sultry. (I am almost 40. I've have these done many times since I was 18. I look better now and I know I have a few more decades of being on the incline!) Be involved in life and give him no reason to worry. If he seems disinterested, give him space and be busy. He'll love you for not fussing over him and letting him focus. Don't monopolize his time when he comes home.

Oh-- one thing that I did for a bf when he went away to study math at another college. . . I did some simple embroidery on a pillowcase for him so he'd think about me when he went to bed. He loved it. Now my pattern maker is online! http://www.old-deerfield.org/embroidery.htm See Pattern #3-- you can do this during a lecture in your own classes!

 

[Joy123]

DES12,

My husband is in his 3rd yr. of med school. Medical school is very tough on spouses, families, relationships, etc. Be patient, it does get easier. You definitely have an adjustment with your bf in Grenada. The Grenada program is only 2 yrs and then he will be back in the US. I know 2 yrs. may seem like an eternity, but hang in there. He will have summers off in his first 2 yrs, so you will be able to spend time together. You will also have the holidays. i know that is not the greatest, but it is something. Medical school is not forever. If you love him be there for him, email, call, write letters. Keep the communication open and start your countdown. The time will fly by.

 

[Pekoe]

I dated a guy in the Marines. Med school in the Caribbean is way better than the Marines (although there is something to be said for their Dress Blues Uniform that scrubs just don't hold a candle to.)