Surgery - NOT FOR ME

[Ad2b]

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My son is 23 and taking what is typical for a premed. Being purposefully vague here 😉

He has taken to this particular course like a fish in the water. It is intensive math based and he is acing it ... not just getting a mere "A" but most likely top grade in the class.

As he started to look into what he could do with that class and add to it, I suggested other routes too. You know, like medicine. 🙂

He shunned biology in high school because the teacher was awful, our home life was crap, and it only got worse. Dropping out of high school at 16 (no drugs, no booze, no extra-curriculars that mom would not approve of, no illegal activities), he has not been in any sort of college course until now. He got his GED at 19, without studying and was in 99%.

Obviously, he's a little concerned about the GED (I said, who cares; go prove yourself now). He is a little concerned about being "late to the game" (I just laughed).

After a few days, he came back to ask what kind of medicine did I think he'd be good at. Went down the list:

1) dexterity is good
2) smart on his feet
3) so far is doing well in the one course (I realize it is just one course)
4) hard working

Surgery, ER, cardio... he says he can't stand the sight of blood. I said, I bet most people start off thinking, "ick" and then get over it. I know I did.

Anything or sites that to send him to for him to continue thinking about this? Just wondering how many surgeons or ER docs started off thinking, "OOOOOh, broken bones protruding from the skin and blood and pus and ooooh, green bile - AWESOME!" I'm hoping not many.

Thank you! I will be greatly proud of him no matter what he chooses to do.

 

[gannicus89]

My sister was freaked out by blood and now she's off doing surgery.
I, however, have never been scared of blood and was always interested in the blood-drawing process since I was a toddler. I have NO interest in surgery. That may change. People change. Your son may or may not change. Has he considered shadowing? That might help him decide if he truly wants to enter the medical field. Some people have bad shadowing experiences and still decide to go to medical school.

It's a bit early to think about what kind of physician he wants to be though... Some people don't figure it out until rotations in third year. My sister went from wanting to be a neurosurgeon to a plastic surgeon then to a cardiologist, and now she's doing something cutting up peoples' GI tracts.

 

[XxThaDoggxX]

Tell him to focus on getting into medschool first. He will have plenty of time to decide from there.

Biggest thing right now is attaining an good GPA and studying for the MCAT so he has the opportunity to make a choice later on!

 

[The Real SVB]

He needs to get into med school first. Jumping onto a bridge before the bridge is even built obviously doesn't work out too well

 

[Dr. Jan Itor]

It's a bit too early to start picking specialties as a premed, but suggest that he shadow a surgeon if he can.

 

[Ad2b]

My sister was freaked out by blood and know she's off doing surgery.

It's a bit early to think about what kind of physician he wants to be though... Some people don't figure it out until rotations in third year. My sister went from wanting to be a neurosurgeon to a plastic surgeon then to a cardiologist, and now she's doing something cutting up peoples' GI tracts.

Thank you for responding. I agree with you that it is early. He's looking at all possibilities right now inside and outside of medicine. It was me who brought up being a doc simply based on how well he is doing in a premed classes full of premeds and kicking their butts.

His first comment was, "I would consider that but what about the blood factor? How do I get over that?"

He is very contemplative, likes to think things through before jumping in but then is clutch when the game is on; as in, doesn't want to plod down the premed course, take the MCAT if he thinks he'd be the only doc to ever 🤢 at blood.

I think if he could get over that, and knew he wasn't the only one who had to do so, he'd be fine.

Hence, my asking ya'll your thoughts. Thank you!

He is looking at, in no particular order:

1) business law with Mandarin Chinese
2) international finance with Mandarin Chinese
3) astrophysics (probably with Mandarin Chinese)
4) medicine ... which is when he asked what kind

It's hard for me because I've "always known" this is what I wanted to do ... for him? this is all brand new.

 

[Mad Jack]

If he feels surgery is not for him, you should just leave him alone about it. Most people aren't cut out to be surgeons- it takes a certain kind of person. There are a ton of other fields in medicine aside from surgery and EM, that afford the opportunity to save lives with substantially less cutting involved. EM doesn't really do much in the way of cutting during most major traumas, that usually falls to trauma surgery, so he'd be fine there so long as he could handle the initial presentations. But you should just leave specialty to him to decide- there's a lot more to medicine than most of the public appreciates, and a broad number of specialties that can fit most any personality type.

As to his gwtting into medical school with a GED, it is possible. I did it. But he needs to ease into the process- I had to drop a few courses along the way because I nust wasn't ready and went in too hard too fast. I also had confidence issues and had to work hard to get past them, as succeeding academically just didn't seem possible to me. I'd highly recommend community college coursework to get started, and that he gently ease his way into the sciences. It takes a while to develop the sort of mindset required to excel, particularly when you're coming from behind, but he can do it if it is what he wants. The most important thing is not giving up and trying again when you don't do well initially. I wish him the best of luck in his studies.

 

[XxThaDoggxX]

It's a bit too early to start picking specialties as a premed, but suggest that he shadow a surgeon if he can.

^^Shadowing would be the way to go IMO as well. Just make sure he doesn't pass out in the rooms! 😛

 

[LizzyM]

Sometimes you have to shadow, volunteer or take a job in a hospital that brings you in touch with patients to know how you will react and to see what holds some appeal as a career. I didn't think I could deal with the blood & guts side of medicine until I had a job that took me into the burn unit of a major hospital. I found the humanity of the patients was still there and I could look into their eyes and connect with them even though I didn't want to look at the rest of their bodies. After that I knew I could do it but I ended up taking a different path. Now I teach in med school so you never know...

 

[DokterMom]

I'd suggest that your (plural) first step be getting him into the kind of college where he will thrive and find his feet academically. Clearly he's very bright, so one with bright classmates is a must. Also, as he's a bit older than most, I'd look for a school where that wouldn't be out of place.

From there, recognize that 'medicine' is just one of many possible directions. Physics, engineering, computer science, mathematics, economics -- all other possibilities where someone with strong mathematical aptitude could thrive.

And yeah - shadowing would be a great idea. And ask to shadow more than just doctors -- like engineers, actuaries, software developers. See what appeals --

 

[deleted480308]

I wouldn't push them into medicine.....if they like it, they like it

tell them to get an account and ask these things for themselves

 

[youmed]

Let him explore more classes.

 

[Winged Scapula]

If you (and possibly your son) are leaning toward surgery because of his dexterity, let me introduce you to the oft quoted phrase in surgery, "you can teach a monkey to operate...". That means that supra-normal dexterity is not required or even common in surgery.

Concern over squeamishness is a common one but one that most students overcome to some extent. Please reassure your son. For example, seeing blood and other bodily fluids on others doesn't bother me (and I don't recall that it ever did) but I'm a bit squeamish when the blood is mine ( and I can't handle seeing injured animals).

 

[The Real SVB]

( and I can't handle seeing injured cats).

Fixed that for you

 

[Winged Scapula]

Fixed that for you

Injured pups break my heart too. Even the pigeon we dissected in HS biology made me sad.

But snakes? Eh...don't care about them except when they are on my feet.

 

[Dares Dareson]

There's a lot of blood/poop/pee/vomit/sputum/generalized grossness outside of surgery too. A lot. I really don't think fear of blood (sanguiphobia?) should be the deciding factor in picking a specialty or in entering medicine at all.

 

[Ad2b]

Thank you ALL for your responses! There is no push to medicine at all. As a course of action, however, I did want to throw it out there. Give him some food for thought as he thinks his GED = failure to some extent. (Thanks for saying it is not... )

As his thinking is very preliminary, I thought I'd ask myself, tell him what others are saying, and then let him choose his course (to join SDN or not, etc). Some of the comments were ideas I had not thought of (shadowing an engineer, or a lawyer, or ??? ) I've pointed him in this direction and we'll see what he chooses to do.

With the body fluids and all the associated and assorted colors, blood was the first thing that came to his mind. I stayed away from pus, bile, that neon green goo, etc. 😉

Thank you again!

 

[Jimmy Jones]

lmao this is like that helicopter parent thread personified

 

[Iridescent]

This is a decision you need to let him make on his own. This means through coursework and experience. He did well on GED, that's good, but remember his competition. Also, doing well in one college science class (probably at a community college), doesn't really amount to much. You can't base his entire career on such limited information.

The focus should be on getting him to a good institution, where he continues to take classes (no reason they can't be in both business and pre-med) and let things unravel naturally there. Followed by experience in the relevant field (I.e. Hospital volunteering, shadowing, business internships).

Thinking about specialities before effectively starting college is jumping the gun.

 

[Ad2b]

This is a decision you need to let him make on his own.

Agree 100%. I was simply asking a question. If everyone had said, "OOOOh, I have always loved the site of goo and blood and it has never bothered me" then I would have told him so and said, "yeah, apparently people don't get over that" but I figured there are some where blood/guts/goo/bile/pus have bothered them at first only to overcome and be more fascinated by the medicine rather than objecting to the sights.

I dread surgery if I get to med school while body fluids don't disgust me, the initial incision? 🤢

Also, doing well in one college science class (probably at a community college)

eh. No. He's a land granting university taking the course which is full of 200+ premeds. He already got an "A" in Mandarin Chinese at same institution.

about specialities before effectively starting college is jumping the gun.

I might disagree. Thinking about what he might like within the field is just a tiny step for him, just a discussion point. Just like asking what kind of lawyer he might like to be or what kind of engineering, or what type of finance... the questions are parallel for medicine.

 

[Iridescent]

Agree 100%. I was simply asking a question. If everyone had said, "OOOOh, I have always loved the site of goo and blood and it has never bothered me" then I would have told him so and said, "yeah, apparently people don't get over that" but I figured there are some where blood/guts/goo/bile/pus have bothered them at first only to overcome and be more fascinated by the medicine rather than objecting to the sights.

I dread surgery if I get to med school while body fluids don't disgust me, the initial incision? 🤢



eh. No. He's a land granting university taking the course which is full of 200+ premeds. He already got an "A" in Mandarin Chinese at same institution.



I might disagree. Thinking about what he might like within the field is just a tiny step for him, just a discussion point. Just like asking what kind of lawyer he might like to be or what kind of engineering, or what type of finance... the questions are parallel for medicine.

The issue is you can't decide on a profession in medicine through online searches and questions. It's too demanding in what you need to succeed. You need experience in the fields of medicine, which most people don't effectively gain till 3rd year of medical school. Therefore, this is jumping the gun. The main focus should be on getting into medical school. Not deciding between surgery

 

[Ad2b]

No, the question is can get he get over the "euewww" factor to even think about medicine. Hence, my question: how many surgeons, others docs had to get over that to become a doc ...

Because if he doesn't think he can do that, he won't even bother - he'll do something else.

 

[doc05]

sounds like you're pushing him towards medicine, which is a terrible idea.

who cares if he's doing well in a "pre-med" course?? physics? chemistry?? doesn't really matter, it's not relevant.

please let him choose his own path and stop being so involved.

 

[Holmwood]

I think blood and pus are awesome and have excellent dexterity, but I wouldn't touch surgery with a ten foot pole.

Medicine is more than about body fluids. Your son better get some exposure to see if it's the right fit for him by working/volunteering in the field.

 

[deleted393595]

It is intensive math based and he is acing it ... not just getting a mere "A" but most likely top grade in the class.

How "intensive" is the math? Algebra? Basic calculus?

Anything or sites that to send him to for him to continue thinking about this? Just wondering how many surgeons or ER docs started off thinking, "OOOOOh, broken bones protruding from the skin and blood and pus and ooooh, green bile - AWESOME!" I'm hoping not many.

Seeing that for the first time is ok. It's the smell that's hard to deal with.

 

[Ad2b]

Basic calc.

I'm not pushing him toward anything, btw, I'm simply asking him questions as he thinks about what he wants to do. I even signed him up for acting classes. So, to think that I'm pushing him one way or the other, is not accurate, nor justified.

 

[Toutie]

You signed him up for acting classes? He's 23! He can't sign himself up? And you say you're not pushing him?

 

[Ad2b]

Well, that's one way of interpreting it, I guess. He asked me to pay for them, I did. He was 19 at the time.

 

[Holmwood]

He's worried about being "late to the game"? MD is a 7+ year training. Surgery is like a 9+ year training. If he's the type to worry about enjoying his youth, then I'm not sure this is the right path for him. He's going to be board-certified in his mid 30s at this rate. If he isn't passionate enough about medicine to withhold alot of life's opportunities (emphasis on withhold, not sacrifice), then you should discourage him from pursuing the MD. If he's past that, then fine. Feel free to proceed.

Regardless, a decent GPA will open many doors for the medical field, blood or not. My concern is that he has some other interest that's also very marketable, but feels pressured to pursue the medical field (because of your medical background I'm assuming). I mean, yeah... if his passion/hobby ends up not being marketable, at least he can have a kushy medical job with decent pay.

I'm curious as to what he ends up deciding. Keep us (or me) posted. I have a family member in a similar situation. : P

 

[ConfusedChemist]

hover your sweet little helicopter away and let him decide on his own

 

[Jimmy Jones]

hover your sweet little helicopter away and let him decide on his own

OP should enter a holding pattern with the parent from the baylor thread

 

[tiedyeddog]

There is plenty of time to figure out what kind of doctor to be in medical school. Just focus on getting in, the starting late thing or having a GED is not an issue.