I am just getting into PGY-2 in Radiology after completing my IM intern year. The bottom line is I'm not enjoying radiology, and desperately miss the patients, active interventions, and the team aspect from intern year. I felt part way through my intern year that I had made a mistake going into radiology, but convinced myself to stick it out and at least get there and give it a chance(as there must be some reason I thought it was prudent to choose this over other specialties). So far my worst fears are being realized, in that I'm struggling to find any semblance of passion for it. I'm not looking forward to any part of the work other than going home.
I think the biggest challenge is the lack of direct feedback from the work; I knew when I comforted a hospice patient and their family, or made someone's pain more tolerable. I knew when the antibiotics and pressors were working and the patient turned the corner. I knew when I saw the girl get extubated and walk out of the hospital. I knew when I was in the airway or the vein. I know when I see the sats come up, get blood return on a line, see the DKA resolve on the lab work, start draining the pleural fluid, hear a thank you (or not), get a hug, shed a tear.
Conversely, I felt the panic when I couldn't get the airway or thought I dilated the artery. I knew when my bedside manner was off on a bad day and my interactions weren't great. I knew the fatigue when the 20th call for pain meds from the same 5 patients on night float... the frustration from entitled clinic patients who wanted ever increasing doses of narcotics and disability placards... the dread of needing to consult that one particular attending again... the helplessness of repeat admissions for non-compliant patients... the terror when witnessing rapid and severe progressive neurodeficits in a young mom, while the senior resident was coding someone else upstairs. Parts of it were terrible but honestly I miss those ups and downs.
I understand radiology is a whole different ballgame than a lot of specialties, and I am just getting started. I understand the learning curve is steep and maybe others have felt this way. Perhaps it gets better? I have the utmost respect for radiologists and am constantly in awe of the resident and attendings depth of knowledge and their ability to make a difference when speaking to the surgeons or floor clinicians about findings. Perhaps I am viewing my clinical experience with rose-colored lenses (for there were surely days when I wanted to smash the pager with a hammer), but I can't seem to shake the feeling that I belong on the other side of the phone.
FYI I don't terribly enjoy the prospect of IR even though it is going through big clinical changes. Turned off by the raw turf battles (which will be hard fought and necessary if it is to emerge as a newly minted clinical specialty), prospect of associated DR work, and superficial patient interaction... (I know some people cringe at managing the "whole patient", but maybe it turns out I'm into that?). I know for some it is the holy grail, but does not appear so to me. Granted I have even less IR experience as a resident than my extremely limited DR.
Is trying to switch totally foolish? Am I purely suffering from grass-is-greener syndrome? Would I look back in 5 years and regret it?
I think the biggest challenge is the lack of direct feedback from the work; I knew when I comforted a hospice patient and their family, or made someone's pain more tolerable. I knew when the antibiotics and pressors were working and the patient turned the corner. I knew when I saw the girl get extubated and walk out of the hospital. I knew when I was in the airway or the vein. I know when I see the sats come up, get blood return on a line, see the DKA resolve on the lab work, start draining the pleural fluid, hear a thank you (or not), get a hug, shed a tear.
Conversely, I felt the panic when I couldn't get the airway or thought I dilated the artery. I knew when my bedside manner was off on a bad day and my interactions weren't great. I knew the fatigue when the 20th call for pain meds from the same 5 patients on night float... the frustration from entitled clinic patients who wanted ever increasing doses of narcotics and disability placards... the dread of needing to consult that one particular attending again... the helplessness of repeat admissions for non-compliant patients... the terror when witnessing rapid and severe progressive neurodeficits in a young mom, while the senior resident was coding someone else upstairs. Parts of it were terrible but honestly I miss those ups and downs.
I understand radiology is a whole different ballgame than a lot of specialties, and I am just getting started. I understand the learning curve is steep and maybe others have felt this way. Perhaps it gets better? I have the utmost respect for radiologists and am constantly in awe of the resident and attendings depth of knowledge and their ability to make a difference when speaking to the surgeons or floor clinicians about findings. Perhaps I am viewing my clinical experience with rose-colored lenses (for there were surely days when I wanted to smash the pager with a hammer), but I can't seem to shake the feeling that I belong on the other side of the phone.
FYI I don't terribly enjoy the prospect of IR even though it is going through big clinical changes. Turned off by the raw turf battles (which will be hard fought and necessary if it is to emerge as a newly minted clinical specialty), prospect of associated DR work, and superficial patient interaction... (I know some people cringe at managing the "whole patient", but maybe it turns out I'm into that?). I know for some it is the holy grail, but does not appear so to me. Granted I have even less IR experience as a resident than my extremely limited DR.
Is trying to switch totally foolish? Am I purely suffering from grass-is-greener syndrome? Would I look back in 5 years and regret it?