Taking time off in the middle of undergrad

[SententialElf]

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Hi, I'm new to this forum (though I've been a lurker for a while). I've gotten a lot of good information here, so thank you all for that!

I've seen a lot of posts about taking time off after undergrad, but nothing about taking time off during, which is what I would like to ask about.

This past summer, my boyfriend of three years committed suicide, which completely derailed me. Though I have been doing well in school academically, I'm finding myself completely burnt out and obviously depressed, and especially with finals coming up (I'm at a quarter-system school) I just cannot stand being in school...this happened while we were both taking summer classes, so the school environment is a bit of a trigger for me.

I'm doing all of the grief counseling/therapy stuff offered at my school but it isn't enough. I feel like I need a year off or so to do something that isn't school, just to get a grip on myself and clear my mind. My parents are completely against me doing this...they think that I should just forget about him and stay in school (they didn't particularly 'approve' of this relationship, since I'm Asian and he wasn't) but I know that if I try to do that, I'm going to continue being absolutely miserable and I don't think I'm going to continue being able to do well in school.

I want to take a year off and do some sort of extended volunteering experience, maybe with Americorps or something similar (I haven't quite planned it out yet)...but would that look bad to medical schools? I don't want to come across as a college dropout or show that I'm a quitter or emotionally unstable or something like that...so, is this something I should do?

Thanks to everyone in advance!

 

[235788]

Hi, I'm new to this forum (though I've been a lurker for a while). I've gotten a lot of good information here, so thank you all for that!

I've seen a lot of posts about taking time off after undergrad, but nothing about taking time off during, which is what I would like to ask about.

This past summer, my boyfriend of three years committed suicide, which completely derailed me. Though I have been doing well in school academically, I'm finding myself completely burnt out and obviously depressed, and especially with finals coming up (I'm at a quarter-system school) I just cannot stand being in school...this happened while we were both taking summer classes, so the school environment is a bit of a trigger for me.

I'm doing all of the grief counseling/therapy stuff offered at my school but it isn't enough. I feel like I need a year off or so to do something that isn't school, just to get a grip on myself and clear my mind. My parents are completely against me doing this...they think that I should just forget about him and stay in school (they didn't particularly 'approve' of this relationship, since I'm Asian and he wasn't) but I know that if I try to do that, I'm going to continue being absolutely miserable and I don't think I'm going to continue being able to do well in school.

I want to take a year off and do some sort of extended volunteering experience, maybe with Americorps or something similar (I haven't quite planned it out yet)...but would that look bad to medical schools? I don't want to come across as a college dropout or show that I'm a quitter or emotionally unstable or something like that...so, is this something I should do?

Thanks to everyone in advance!

Why not take some time off and return in the fall?

At one time i was thinking americorps for my gap year, but decided against it. Perhaps try something more local, or a medical trip to south america. Explore your option before committing to anything

 

[plumhill]

First of all, I want to extend my deepest sympathies to you. The fact that you're still doing well in school after what happened is remarkable, regardless of what you choose to do from here on out.

Personally, if I were an adcom member and I was interviewing someone in this situation, I would think that they made a very wise choice made even better by a desire (hopefully one that comes into fruition) to volunteer and help the community. I'm Asian too so I can relate to your parents sympathies and your conflict over listening them vs following your own heart, and in this situation, ignore them. Americorps is (from what I've gathered) a good choice...they do have some programs that offer living stipends and housing, so you wouldn't need to depend on your parents' financial support, if you are still utilizing that. If your school has a career services department, you might want to stop by to see if they have any information on yearlong volunteer opportunities that you might be able to utilize, in case you wanted to try anything other than Americorps.

Another thing you could try that might be a compromise between your parents' wishes and your own is study abroad. You'd be getting academic credit for your journey, but you would be away from your school environment, thus separating you from your trigger. Depending on the program you do, you might be able to find one that isn't too heavy on the academic side, or at least is more cultural/experiential. I don't know your major, but regardless of what it is, you should be able to find a good program that will fit your academic and personal needs. Some schools do offer study abroad scholarships, and I know that external programs exist to aid with study abroad finances.

 

[SententialElf]

Why not take some time off and return in the fall?

At one time i was thinking americorps for my gap year, but decided against it. Perhaps try something more local, or a medical trip to south america. Explore your option before committing to anything

I'm worried about taking time off now because I'm in the middle of three pre-req sequences (o-chem, calculus and algebra-based physics). Normally this wouldn't be a big deal but my university is switching to semesters next year, so if I take time off now I'm going to have to start all three of those sequences over again.

If you don't mind me asking, what made you decide against Americorps?

 

[Lil Mick]

Do what you need to do for yourself. Adcoms will understand you taking time off, especially if you're doing something during that time (including just counseling...). One of my friends had to do this during undergrad after losing his mother, and he had no issues getting into medical school. In fact, they were impressed with his maturity to take time off. I actually wound up having to take a year off during medical school after losing family members and a few military buddies in my MS1 year. It won't help anyone if you're miserable and doing poorly in school, and it's not worth it to put yourself through that just to enter another really stressful situation for another 4 years (plus residency).

 

[sliceofbread136]

Geez, take some time off. I can't imagine any adcom not understanding this situation. I've heard good things about volunteering with crisis hotline, maybe look into that for your year off?

 

[darmalee]

I know it's a completely different situation as far as circumstances, but I actually took time off twice during my undergrad. I took a year off in between my first and second year just because I needed some breathing room and time to figure my life out. And then I took another four and a half years off for military service after just one semester back. I think that the most important thing for you to do is discover what is best for your mental health and do it. I cannot imagine adcoms looking down on that. I understand it's a tough decision to make if your parents are pressuring you to stay in school, but sometimes the hard choices are the right ones. I hope they can understand that and support you.

EDIT - I should mention that my having dropped out of school twice never came up and I got multiple acceptances