That Imposter Syndrome, though.

[YouMDbro101]

Advertisement - Members don't see this ad

Internship started two and a half weeks ago and I'm just here to vent my insecurities and use the internet to make me feel better about myself. It's not that I feel lost, I have a pretty good grasp on what's going on, I'm just not used to being taken so seriously. The fellows and senior residents reassure me that I'm doing fine and we aren't expected to be Dr. House in the first few weeks, but I have this glaring fear that I'm wearing my insecurities on my sleeve. My clinical knowledge is entirely USMLE-based, limited literally to the "Uworld" world. I feel that 75% of the learning curve is learning to use EPIC and it bothers me how redundant the EMR systems can be. I've always considered myself especially competent with technology, but I feel like an old man trying to work a VCR when I have to put in complex orders. If an attending abruptly asks me a question, I sometimes stutter and lose my trend of thought - it's really just a lack of confidence at this point.

Does anyone remember feeling this way during intern year?

 

[rokshana]

Internship started two and a half weeks ago and I'm just here to vent my insecurities and use the internet to make me feel better about myself. It's not that I feel lost, I have a pretty good grasp on what's going on, I'm just not used to being taken so seriously. The fellows and senior residents reassure me that I'm doing fine and we aren't expected to be Dr. House in the first few weeks, but I have this glaring fear that I'm wearing my insecurities on my sleeve. My clinical knowledge is entirely USMLE-based, limited literally to the "Uworld" world. I feel that 75% of the learning curve is learning to use EPIC and it bothers me how redundant the EMR systems can be. I've always considered myself especially competent with technology, but I feel like an old man trying to work a VCR when I have to put in complex orders. If an attending abruptly asks me a question, I sometimes stutter and lose my trend of thought - it's really just a lack of confidence at this point.

Does anyone remember feeling this way during intern year?

Everyone remembers feeling that way...you’re fine.

I remember the first time some one called me Dr last name and my first thought was they were asking about my father...

 

[FutureInternist]

You’re doing a residency where they use Epic??!?!
You’re already better off than most 🙂

Seriously though, it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Just think about how overwhelmed a first year med student is feeling but you can be there to tell them that most people get through it.. same applies here.

The goal is to be competent by the end (or maybe a year away from it) of residency.

 

[Piebaldi]

Internship started two and a half weeks ago and I'm just here to vent my insecurities and use the internet to make me feel better about myself. It's not that I feel lost, I have a pretty good grasp on what's going on, I'm just not used to being taken so seriously. The fellows and senior residents reassure me that I'm doing fine and we aren't expected to be Dr. House in the first few weeks, but I have this glaring fear that I'm wearing my insecurities on my sleeve. My clinical knowledge is entirely USMLE-based, limited literally to the "Uworld" world. I feel that 75% of the learning curve is learning to use EPIC and it bothers me how redundant the EMR systems can be. I've always considered myself especially competent with technology, but I feel like an old man trying to work a VCR when I have to put in complex orders. If an attending abruptly asks me a question, I sometimes stutter and lose my trend of thought - it's really just a lack of confidence at this point.

Does anyone remember feeling this way during intern year?

We all feel stupid as interns - someone who thinks they are awesome from the get go is likely delusional and will have a hard fall.

 

[rokshana]

We all feel stupid as interns - someone who thinks they are awesome from the get go is likely delusional and will have a hard fall.

And is dangerous...

 

[Piebaldi]

And is dangerous...

Agreed.

 

[LucidSplash]

Have definitely felt this way. I did residency at a place where I had not rotated as a student. So I was learning the EMR (which was terrible and mostly we had paper charts), trying to find my way around, had way too much $hit in my pockets. I distinctly remember on my first day, standing in the middle of a busy hallway, trying to figure out where the ED was. I was rummaging though my pockets looking for a little map of the hospital that I’d printed off, and managed to drop a whole bunch of random papers on the floor. I felt like there should be one of those sitcom laugh tracks, and everyone who passed kinda looked at me with pity. Also I’d ordered the wrong size coat and it was huge on me, so I looked like a little kid playing dress up. I was 28 but looked like I was in high school and people repeatedly looked at me skeptically when I introduced myself as one of the doctors on the team. And feeling like I was moments away from making a fatal medical error.

But your seniors and attendings have got you. You need to trust their perception/borrow their confidence in you. As long as you go through appropriate chain of command/load the boat, no one is going to let you hurt anyone. You’re doing just fine.

 

[Merely]

Fake it till you make it. I had to be walked to the bathroom and the cafeteria my first day on inpatient service because I couldn't get it together to figure out where those were. A few years later, I was the one walking the new interns.

It took you years to be able to show people where the bathroom was?

 

[Piebaldi]

It took you years to be able to show people where the bathroom was?

Lol this is the best post ever on sdn

 

[mvenus929]

We all feel stupid as interns - someone who thinks they are awesome from the get go is likely delusional and will have a hard fall.

I remember one of our interns when I was a senior resident had zero questions on day 1 after rounding on her patients. We were terrified.

When I rounded on my first patient of intern year (and there was only one patient--it was a very slow day on service), I had literally no idea what to present as the plan because the patient was a chronic kid that was recovering from surgery.

 

[obgyny]

I remember one of our interns when I was a senior resident had zero questions on day 1 after rounding on her patients. We were terrified.

When I rounded on my first patient of intern year (and there was only one patient--it was a very slow day on service), I had literally no idea what to present as the plan because the patient was a chronic kid that was recovering from surgery.

^this.

Overly confident interns that don’t ask questions make me nervous...

No one expects you to know everything right off the bat. And you should be smart enough to know what you don’t know.

Just put one foot in front of the other. Before you know it, you’ll be teaching the incoming interns and looking like a pro.

 

[jurassicpark]

Internship started two and a half weeks ago and I'm just here to vent my insecurities and use the internet to make me feel better about myself. It's not that I feel lost, I have a pretty good grasp on what's going on, I'm just not used to being taken so seriously. The fellows and senior residents reassure me that I'm doing fine and we aren't expected to be Dr. House in the first few weeks, but I have this glaring fear that I'm wearing my insecurities on my sleeve. My clinical knowledge is entirely USMLE-based, limited literally to the "Uworld" world. I feel that 75% of the learning curve is learning to use EPIC and it bothers me how redundant the EMR systems can be. I've always considered myself especially competent with technology, but I feel like an old man trying to work a VCR when I have to put in complex orders. If an attending abruptly asks me a question, I sometimes stutter and lose my trend of thought - it's really just a lack of confidence at this point.

Does anyone remember feeling this way during intern year?

I think everyone has already pretty much summed it up, this is absolutely normal what you're feeling and healthy too so you don't get cocky and keep learning.

But you touched on an interesting point. I highlighted a section here that I address with my medical students by going old school on them. I was taught during that transition time between paper and electronic. While now I do everything electronically I cannot stress how valuable I found learning on paper to be. Meaning writing out my H&P, and orders on paper allowed me to be first and foremost SYSTEMATIC in how I approached a patient, allowed me to think of my own plans instead of a pre-made order set, MADE me go look up what's best to do. By putting everything down on paper it was much easier to NOT forget something. I teach my students do go through a systematic order set and practice putting in their orders for cases. It also forces them to learn drugs, dosages, frequencies, contraindications, etc.

Computer system order sets are pre-made, no real systematic order to them that is conducive to visualizing your plan of attack and most importantly learning. Most computers are on the basis you already know what you're doing, what you want and already know why you want too.

 

[Raryn]

I think everyone has already pretty much summed it up, this is absolutely normal what you're feeling and healthy too so you don't get cocky and keep learning.

But you touched on an interesting point. I highlighted a section here that I address with my medical students by going old school on them. I was taught during that transition time between paper and electronic. While now I do everything electronically I cannot stress how valuable I found learning on paper to be. Meaning writing out my H&P, and orders on paper allowed me to be first and foremost SYSTEMATIC in how I approached a patient, allowed me to think of my own plans instead of a pre-made order set, MADE me go look up what's best to do. By putting everything down on paper it was much easier to NOT forget something. I teach my students do go through a systematic order set and practice putting in their orders for cases. It also forces them to learn drugs, dosages, frequencies, contraindications, etc.

Computer system order sets are pre-made, no real systematic order to them that is conducive to visualizing your plan of attack and most importantly learning. Most computers are on the basis you already know what you're doing, what you want and already know why you want too.

It would probably take me 5x as long to do anything on paper first as to just do it once electronically.

As an intern, I'd have scutsheets that I'd write pertinent labs, to do lists, etc on. As a resident, they got progressively smaller - until I basically just kept a list of names/room numbers.

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

What is this imposter syndrome nonsense interns keep saying? You went to med school, the highest ranked upper education level, for 4 years. Like.... Have some confidence.

 

[Sardonix]

What is this imposter syndrome nonsense interns keep saying? You went to med school, the highest ranked upper education level, for 4 years. Like.... Have some confidence.

The idea is they can intellectually recognize all that they have accomplished, yet still FEEL incompetent or like a fraud that doesn't deserve to be where they are. They are comparing themselves against their residents and fellow medical school classmates, so telling them that they're smarter than 95% of the population or to just get over how they feel isn't gonna do anything.

Ideally it changes with time, experience, and realizing their success as a resident.