The Chosen One

5+ Year Member
Dec 28, 2009
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Now that the acceptances are out of the way, my question concerns the signifcant others; albeit mr/mrs right or mr/mrs right now. If you are planning to accept an out-of-state/town school invite, does your plan include your mate :confused:

...and no pets don't count :D
 

joonkimdds

Senior Member
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It's very tough. I was in the same situation last yr.

I am D1 currently and I see alot of ppl doing long distance. I see about half of them already breaking up.

In the end, it's all up to you. Some ppl break up, some ppl don't. some ppl try but can't continue when they face all the challenges waiting in dental schools.
 

duycuonggg

5+ Year Member
Jan 8, 2010
73
1
Status
Dental Student
My girlfriend and I have been dating for ~4 years and we've been trying to prepare for long distance. First off we had to think about it alone and decide whether or not it was worth it being in a relationship with someone you can't physically be around. Some relationships depend on physical contact like hugs and stuff or things like going out together on dates. When you strip that all away it really just comes down to commitment and trust which is different for every person. This is purely my opinion and personal take on it. We've decided to stay together. I don't know exactly what your situation is but good luck. Again this is just my personal experience.
 

redchesus

10+ Year Member
Oct 13, 2007
472
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Dentist
Just got out of a 3 year relationship. Good timing ...I suppose? From personal experience, I don't believe in long distance relationships anyway... well, maybe after 5+ years
 

Nirvrex

10+ Year Member
Aug 2, 2007
21
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I am a current D3. I started dating my girlfriend the summer before my senior year of college. We then lived together in colorado for a year before I started dental school. We have now been in a long distance relationship for about 2.5 years.

I have seen countless relationships end in dental school, I think I have an understanding of which type of relationships work and which don't. I will explain these using the term "gf" because it applies to my situation but it works both ways.

The most important aspect is that your gf must be as busy as you are. If your gf has been working the same job for 3 years and is already bored and then you start dental school with a long distance relationship its NOT going to work.

If you and your gf fight a lot, or have jealousy issues its NOT going to work.

If you are the type of person that will get jealous that she is having fun while you are working hard, it will not work.

On the other hand a surprising amount of classmates have started dating, which although on paper seems like a terrible idea they actually seem to be working pretty well.

Good luck with your decisions haha.
 

FutureDent020

Senior Member
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Jun 3, 2009
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Resident [Any Field], Dentist
I am a current D3. I started dating my girlfriend the summer before my senior year of college. We then lived together in colorado for a year before I started dental school. We have now been in a long distance relationship for about 2.5 years.

I have seen countless relationships end in dental school, I think I have an understanding of which type of relationships work and which don't. I will explain these using the term "gf" because it applies to my situation but it works both ways.

The most important aspect is that your gf must be as busy as you are. If your gf has been working the same job for 3 years and is already bored and then you start dental school with a long distance relationship its NOT going to work.

If you and your gf fight a lot, or have jealousy issues its NOT going to work.

If you are the type of person that will get jealous that she is having fun while you are working hard, it will not work.

On the other hand a surprising amount of classmates have started dating, which although on paper seems like a terrible idea they actually seem to be working pretty well.

Good luck with your decisions haha.
I agree with this advice. It depends on you as a couple. I am a D1 in the first semester and already have seen a handful of long distance relationships end; however, a handful are also still going strong. My opinion, it will be tougher on the individual NOT in dental school. You will meet some good friends and become close to many, both male and female. And it also doesn't help that a lot of your classmates will be attractive, fun people.
 
Nov 24, 2009
303
0
Status
Dental Student
^on paper it does sound like a terrible idea (classmates getting together), especially since you're stuck with each other for 4 years and if things go wrong it'll be awkwarrrd...but on the other hand, who better to understand your pain and what you're going through than a fellow dental student :p
 

pinhi

5+ Year Member
Jul 25, 2010
335
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Status
Dental Student
I am a current D3. I started dating my girlfriend the summer before my senior year of college. We then lived together in colorado for a year before I started dental school. We have now been in a long distance relationship for about 2.5 years.

I have seen countless relationships end in dental school, I think I have an understanding of which type of relationships work and which don't. I will explain these using the term "gf" because it applies to my situation but it works both ways.

The most important aspect is that your gf must be as busy as you are. If your gf has been working the same job for 3 years and is already bored and then you start dental school with a long distance relationship its NOT going to work.

If you and your gf fight a lot, or have jealousy issues its NOT going to work.

If you are the type of person that will get jealous that she is having fun while you are working hard, it will not work.

On the other hand a surprising amount of classmates have started dating, which although on paper seems like a terrible idea they actually seem to be working pretty well.

Good luck with your decisions haha.
why do u think that dating a classmate would be "terrible on paper?".....sounds like the perfect situation in my mind......similar interests, similar schedules, similar lifestyles.....match made in heaven!!!
 
Nov 5, 2009
193
0
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Dentist
I had been dating my then boyfriend (now fiancee) for just a little over a year when I found out I got into school in CA - we're from GA. We already knew at that point that this was a forever thing and considered trying long distance. We decided that wouldn't work for us and he moved out here with me. It's been wonderful having that support system here and it's a lot of fun to experience all of these new things with him.

I have friends who have tried the long distance thing and agree with an above poster that it's about 50/50 those who have stayed together and those who have broken up.

To each their own, but there's my anecdotal two cents.
 

Seahawk

Nothing to do here
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Jul 21, 2010
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why do u think that dating a classmate would be "terrible on paper?".....sounds like the perfect situation in my mind......similar interests, similar schedules, similar lifestyles.....match made in heaven!!!
I agree somewhat...But this will inspire competition...Which is no beuno.

I have had a roommate, best friend, and gf all at different times in the same classes as me. The grades you get on things will come up inevitably. Skill level I would assume would also come up. Will cause problems, almost guarantee it.
 

txlonghorn

5+ Year Member
Jun 29, 2009
688
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If you really love someone it will work. If the physical component is the main thing about your relationship or matters so much that you don't think it will work, then that is kinda sad.

I am in a long distance relationship and it is going great. In fact, when we see each other, we appreciate our time more. If you can't live without seeing the person's face, try Skype.
 

crooked castle

5+ Year Member
Aug 13, 2010
121
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Dental Student
These are all great responses, but I would like to add that a VERY IMPORTANT question is: how old are you?

if you are early twenties: 21-24, your situation is different than someone in their later twenties. I am generalizing here, but most people get married in their late twenties, so if you have been with your mate for a few years and you are mid to late twenties...i would try to work it out.

BUT if you are in your early twenties, you still have lots of time to live after you finish your 4 years of dental school! This goes for your mate too. if she is 22, does she really want to wait around for 4 years when you are absent? You and your mate are still young, so the loss won't be too horrible. and who knows? when you graduate you can move back and try it again with her. By then you will be later twenties and a sexy dentist, how can she not want you?!
 

Rainee

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Mar 31, 2010
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Sigh this thread...makes me so depressed. Breaking up is such a hard thing to do. Will yall quit bumping this thread up... I'm sad already :(
 

mflinchb

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Jun 28, 2008
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I've been dating my boyfriend since HS and I went to school 2 hours away. He later decided to transfer out to the University of Tennessee which is 7 hours away from my school and 8 hours away from our hometown. We've been dating long distance for almost 3 years now and it DOES work if you have trust and make the effort to visit when you can and make the most of the time you do have together. The school I am likely attending is 4 hours closer, so we will be able to see each other on the weekends, I hope, or at least more weekends than we see each other now. He'll be graduating next december and I'm hoping he can find a job close to where I'll go to school but thats all up in the air. I know things will work out and I'm confident we'll be living together shortly.
 

dentalWorks

Nights Watchmen
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Jun 25, 2009
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I agree with this advice. It depends on you as a couple. I am a D1 in the first semester and already have seen a handful of long distance relationships end; however, a handful are also still going strong. My opinion, it will be tougher on the individual NOT in dental school. You will meet some good friends and become close to many, both male and female. And it also doesn't help that a lot of your classmates will be attractive, fun people.
very very important
 

nlbaker7

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Oct 23, 2010
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Been married for 7 long years, praying for an acceptance across the country so I can break it off and be free

;)
 

iluvdentistry

Life is good
Jan 8, 2010
211
1
Status
Dental Student
Sigh this thread...makes me so depressed. Breaking up is such a hard thing to do. Will yall quit bumping this thread up... I'm sad already :(
I understand your pain. I dated a guy all through the majority of our undergrad and he got accepted to a graduate program in FL. Well, of course I couldn't just up and follow him there, as I still had to finish an extra semester, plus I wasn't sure if I could get into Nova (got rejected from there real fast lol) and dental school was/still is my top priority. We stayed together until the day he moved away this past summer.

With both of us going to be so busy with our respective programs, we knew distance would most likely be the demise of our relationship (I don't think this says anything about how 'in love' we were, because trust me, I would have given almost anything to be with him, sans pursuing d school).

Well, come Tuesday, it will be exactly 6 months we have been apart, and guess what? We still talk as friends. I am so happy that he is still in my life and that we made a logical decision to end the relationship on a good note. I truly believe that he will come back in my life later down the road if it is meant to be. But I am also receptive to the possibility of a new romantic interest now. I am living proof that things will be ok if breaking up is the decision you decide to go with. It sucks, but you may surprise yourself with how strong you are... you just never know.
 
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crooked castle

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Aug 13, 2010
121
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I understand your pain. I dated a guy all through the majority of our undergrad and he got accepted to a graduate program in FL. Well, of course I couldn't just up and follow him there, as I still had to finish an extra semester, plus I wasn't sure if I could get into Nova (got rejected from there real fast lol) and dental school was/still is my top priority. We stayed together until the day he moved away this past summer.

With both of us going to be so busy with our respective programs, we knew distance would most likely be the demise of our relationship (I don't think this says anything about how 'in love' we were, because trust me, I would have given almost anything to be him, sans pursuing d school).

Well, come Tuesday, it will be exactly 6 months we have been apart, and guess what? We still talk as friends. I am so happy that he is still in my life and that we made a logical decision to end the relationship on a good note. I truly believe that he will come back in my life later down the road if it is meant to be. But I am also receptive to the possibility of a new romantic interest now. I am living proof that things will be ok if breaking up is the decision you decide to go with. It sucks, but you may surprise yourself with how strong you are... you just never know.
wow. very heartwarming post :). hats off to you: a person with a very mature and positive outlook. good luck at d-school! you did it!
 
Nov 16, 2010
84
0
Michigan
Status
Dental Student
I've been dating my bf for about 3yrs. Now that 've been accepted to dental school, he's thinking about moving with me to Chicago (UIC). I'm from Florida. It's great to have that support system and since he's able to work anywhere (CEO of his own company), he would be able to be with me. We been talking about getting married and all but we want to wait after a yr of dental school. I'm hoping everything goes well. :xf:
 

txlonghorn

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Jun 29, 2009
688
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wow. very heartwarming post :). hats off to you: a person with a very mature and positive outlook. good luck at d-school! you did it!
I don't see how this is good thing? From what I understand, if you love someone, then it should be unconditional. You can't say, "baby, I love you, but just a little less than dental school or a Mr. Goodbar". I guess for people who are getting into dental school, y'all should also find new fathers, mothers, and siblings, as you know, the distance will end those relationships as well. :rolleyes: Seriously, if you love that person and they love you as well, then it should work out. Yes, the distance will suck, but deal with it if you really care.
 

dentalpath

Dental Student
Jan 28, 2010
246
0
Status
Dental Student
Reading this post and thought would just put my 2 cents in. I am married, I will be married 2 yrs before the start of d school next year in August. Thankfully for me, I got into a school close to home so I will be able to commute everyday and be with my husband. I don't think distance should cause any rift between people. If you understand and love each other, support comes naturally for the other partner. Trust is what is required to build a successfull relationship and in my opinion your spouse or your bf (gf) should feel like they are always your top priority in order for any relationship to work. Both parties need to understand what has to happen for the next four years ----with you being in d school, not a whole lot of hanging out with friends, with family or with your bf is gonna happen and its very important that the other person understands that. However, at the same time I also think that there is no way in hell (or heaven) that you won't have 2 minutes in the morning to send a text or a few throughout the day even as you walk to the school or out of a class. You can always make time to call someone for 15-20 minutes and keep in touch throughout the day. If you have patience and your partner has patience, trust and understanding, you will make it. Just know what your priorities are and don't neglect them.
 

redchesus

10+ Year Member
Oct 13, 2007
472
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Seriously, if you love that person and they love you as well, then it should work out.
That's cute and all, but not everyone is in a stage of the relationship where the love is unconditional when decision time arrives. I think it's positive in that they were both mature enough to realize they both had goals beyond each other and considered the practicality. If they had stayed together for the sake of romantic ideals, I think there would have been resentment down the road. In this way, they salvaged a friendship.
 

iluvdentistry

Life is good
Jan 8, 2010
211
1
Status
Dental Student
That's cute and all, but not everyone is in a stage of the relationship where the love is unconditional when decision time arrives. I think it's positive in that they were both mature enough to realize they both had goals beyond each other and considered the practicality. If they had stayed together for the sake of romantic ideals, I think there would have been resentment down the road. In this way, they salvaged a friendship.
Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it :)

I don't understand why people almost seem to get offended by my decision sometimes (I've definitely got similar reactions to the one the texas dude posted before). I am young and I have the rest of my life ahead of me and knowing myself, not being able to be in the physical presence of my partner would be absolutely miserable. Love is different for everyone, and I don't think it's fair to say someone loves someone less because they'd rather give up a relationship for dental school then do distance. It's just the decision I felt was the most logical to make.

Saying that I should find new family too is kind of ridiculous if you ask me. So dating someone for 3 1/2 years is comparable to having unconditional love and support from my fam for over 22 years? Hmmm. I am happy that mr texas and his fiance got into the same school. That is incredible and I wish you guys the best. Please, all I ask is be respectful of my decision, because it was one of the most emotionally draining and depressing decisions I've had the misfortune of making :(
 

Jmoosec2

Jmoosec2
Jul 2, 2010
117
8
Macon, GA
Status
Medical Student
Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it :)

I don't understand why people almost seem to get offended by my decision sometimes (I've definitely got similar reactions to the one the texas dude posted before). I am young and I have the rest of my life ahead of me and knowing myself, not being able to be in the physical presence of my partner would be absolutely miserable. Love is different for everyone, and I don't think it's fair to say someone loves someone less because they'd rather give up a relationship for dental school then do distance. It's just the decision I felt was the most logical to make.

Saying that I should find new family too is kind of ridiculous if you ask me. So dating someone for 3 1/2 years is comparable to having unconditional love and support from my fam for over 22 years? Hmmm. I am happy that mr texas and his fiance got into the same school. That is incredible and I wish you guys the best. Please, all I ask is be respectful of my decision, because it was one of the most emotionally draining and depressing decisions I've had the misfortune of making :(

I agree. I just made the same decision to end a 2 year relationship that I was sure would lead to marriage. It was one of (and continues to be) the hardest things I've ever had to do. I knew she was head over heels for me and I honestly was for her, but the pressure of medical school approaching almost drove me insane. Finally, I had to tell her that I just did not think I would be able to sustain the relationship at the level it was now, and to my surprise, she saw the writing on the walls before I did She could see the anxiety it was causing me. In my mind I felt like she would deserve better than the lack of presence I would present her while in school, and she felt like she would only serve to be a distraction because she tends to be needy (something I never had a problem with given I had to time and ability to meet those needs). Now we are the best of friends and still talk every day. Heck.. we might even end up together again someday, but with the pressure off of both of us to live up to these supposed obligations of a committed relationship we find ourselves closer friends than we had been for months. I've had friends question whether I truly loved her or if it was a case of me picking my career over her, but I think that is unfair, because I def. loved her and given just about any other circumstance I'm sure I would marry her. However, I've known my whole life I wanted to become a doctor, and even if I did decide that I was going to give up my dreams to be with her, she would most def. leave me, because she knows how much I've put into it. So yes, I agree with your sentiments completely! :thumbup:
 

txlonghorn

5+ Year Member
Jun 29, 2009
688
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Dental Student
Look, I did not mean to be disrespectful nor did I get offended. Rather, I was pointing out the fact that you said dental school is more valuable to you than the person you loved. I just don't understand how you justify that you "would have given almost anything to be with him, sans pursuing d school" and still say you loved them? I guess you maybe like the person a lot, but it is not love. Yes, I made the comparison to family members, because I love my family members and my fiancé, and there are no varying levels to which I love them either. Also, it is a matter of how you feel for the person, not the time you have been with them. So for you, your "love" for your 3 1/2 year old child will NOT be comparable to the unconditional love and support you have for you family for over 22 years?

Again, I know I am being a little assy, but you get my point? right? Yes, I have gotten into the same school as my fiancé. But guess what? I might end up going to another school, and we are both fine with it.

Also, another point is about the whole career thing. You guys should realize that we work to support our family. We are fortunate to have the opportunity to do what we love, but the end goal of it all is to support our family and the ones we love. However, it seems that people go about it the wrong way and put our careers over our family. I guess I have more perspective in this, as my family immigrated here and my father worked all kinds of jobs to support us. He didn't tell us that we were too inconvenient for him and left us to pursue his goals.
 
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iluvdentistry

Life is good
Jan 8, 2010
211
1
Status
Dental Student
Look, I did not mean to be disrespectful nor did I get offended. Rather, I was pointing out the fact that you said dental school is more valuable to you than the person you loved. I just don't understand how you justify that you "would have given almost anything to be with him, sans pursuing d school" and still say you loved them? I guess you maybe like the person a lot, but it is not love. Yes, I made the comparison to family members, because I love my family members and my fiancé, and there are no varying levels to which I love them either. Also, it is a matter of how you feel for the person, not the time you have been with them. So for you, your "love" for your 3 1/2 year old child will NOT be comparable to the unconditional love and support you have for you family for over 22 years?

Again, I know I am being a little assy, but you get my point? right? Yes, I have gotten into the same school as my fiancé. But guess what? I might end up going to another school, and we are both fine with it.

Also, another point is about the whole career thing. You guys should realize that we work to support our family. We are fortunate to have the opportunity to do what we love, but the end goal of it all is to support our family and the ones we love. However, it seems that people go about it the wrong way and put our careers over our family. I guess I have more perspective in this, as my family immigrated here and my father worked all kinds of jobs to support us. He didn't tell us that we were too inconvenient for him and left us to pursue his goals.
Dude, you're kinda being a bully, can we just drop it? I don't see how my comment directly affects you in any kind of way. I was simply sharing my story for the kid that was bummed out about potentially ending his/her relationship because I had a similar experience. You're definitely entitled to your opinion but you're indirectly saying my way is wrong and your way is right, and I feel that is a tad bit rude. I am very sorry to hear you had an unfortunate family experience and can see why you view this topic the way you do. Like I said, best of luck to you and your lady.
 

txlonghorn

5+ Year Member
Jun 29, 2009
688
2
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Dental Student
Dude, you're kinda being a bully, can we just drop it? I don't see how my comment directly affects you in any kind of way. I was simply sharing my story for the kid that was bummed out about potentially ending his/her relationship because I had a similar experience. You're definitely entitled to your opinion but you're indirectly saying my way is wrong and your way is right, and I feel that is a tad bit rude. I am very sorry to hear you had an unfortunate family experience and can see why you view this topic the way you do. Like I said, best of luck to you and your lady.
Great, now I feel like an ass. Lol. Just as you were giving your opinion to the op, I was giving mine as well. This way the op can get another perspective, other than "yeah, it is ok to break up". I just used you as an example, cause you posted. Also, I did not have an unfortunate family experience - all that has happened has made me who I am today. Apologies if I offended you. I wish you the best of luck in d school and in life. Just so you know, my way is right :p just kidding. Lol
 

zzyyfff

is
Nov 3, 2010
32
1
Status
Dental Student
iluvdentistry and Jmoosec2, i admire your maturity, awareness, honesty, and open-mindedness. whomever you each end up with is in for one healthy, caring relationship! :)
 

txlonghorn

5+ Year Member
Jun 29, 2009
688
2
Status
Dental Student
iluvdentistry and Jmoosec2, i admire your maturity, awareness, honesty, and open-mindedness. whomever you each end up with is in for one healthy, caring relationship! :)
You forgot selfishness ;) jk yall.
 

Jmoosec2

Jmoosec2
Jul 2, 2010
117
8
Macon, GA
Status
Medical Student
iluvdentistry and Jmoosec2, i admire your maturity, awareness, honesty, and open-mindedness. whomever you each end up with is in for one healthy, caring relationship! :)

I think it's obvious me and iluvdentistry should date. :D


jk!!!
 

Jmoosec2

Jmoosec2
Jul 2, 2010
117
8
Macon, GA
Status
Medical Student
You forgot selfishness ;) jk yall.

I'm one of those crazy religious types **gasp!** So when I say I have been working my whole life to become a doctor, then I truly mean that I feel God has called me to this lifestyle. I know that's irrational to anyone outside of this particular set of believes, but I must maintain my own convictions. My girlfriend understands this, and through our unselfishness, we decided to let something really special go, knowing that if God is real then He certainly holds the power to make all things just and good in the end.

Now if God doesn't exist then you might be very correct. But I don't think we should open that can of worms here. :D
 
Oct 3, 2010
206
0
St. Peter, Minnesota
www.facebook.com
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Dental Student
Ugh, it really does suck. I've been dating my current gf for about 3 months and she has been really worried about this. She isn't currently in school and is hoping to get into pa school sometime soon. I'm hoping she can get in at the same place as me, but, even if she doesn't I'm going to at least give it a shot. We're already slightly long distance so I think we have a chance so here's to hoping it will work :xf:
 

txlonghorn

5+ Year Member
Jun 29, 2009
688
2
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Dental Student
Ugh, it really does suck. I've been dating my current gf for about 3 months and she has been really worried about this. She isn't currently in school and is hoping to get into pa school sometime soon. I'm hoping she can get in at the same place as me, but, even if she doesn't I'm going to at least give it a shot. We're already slightly long distance so I think we have a chance so here's to hoping it will work :xf:
good luck! It will work for sure if yall are serious about your relationship!
 
N

NAVY DDS 2010

I am going to inject my two cents here as I am very intimate with this topic.

In 1999, I was in Pensacola, FL in flight school in the Navy. I did NOT want to date while I was there because it is vy common that women there are looking for a military man (officer preferably) to get them out of the hole called Pensacola. Well, I ended up meeting my wife while I was there. We dated during the summer. She was in Gainesville going to pharmacy school at UF 4hours away. So, we took advantage of the time we had while she was on her break. Eventually, we saw each other only on the weekends. We did this for the next 6 months until a time we decided we wanted to get married. So, we decided to get married thenext summer. Well, only two months after deciding to get married, I got orders to go to Seattle. We got married 19 days later because I would have had to move before our wedding date. After moving, we were about as far apart in the US as two people could get. To make a long story shorter, in the first 4 years we were together, we only got to see each other for 11 months total time combined with 3 1/2 months being the longest at any one time. All this while my wife was in pharmacy school and I was undergoing 2 deployments overseas -very stressful on a relationship. My wife and I are now only a couple of months away from celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary and having brought home our twinbaby girls on our 10th anniversary.

My whole point to this post is that if you love someone and feel they are 'the one', they making the sacrifices necessary to make a long distance relationship work is well worth it. At times, the separation really sucks. Sometimes you question whether it is worth it. But, if you really care for and love the significant other, then you do whatever it takes to make the relationship work and make the other person feel as if the miles apart are only yards apart. Do I regret choosing the path we took? Absolutely not. Realistically, going through what we did made our relationship as strong as it is. It has made my time in dental school and her time in her MBA program go extremely well during the times we cannot devote the time we'd like with the other person. We still know how each other feels for the other. We have learned how to do the litle things to make the other feel loved, wanted and needed.

Long distance relationships are not for everyone. It takes a lot of effort to make them work. But, if you really love someone, it is rewarding and well worth it in the end.
 

txlonghorn

5+ Year Member
Jun 29, 2009
688
2
Status
Dental Student
I am going to inject my two cents here as I am very intimate with this topic.

In 1999, I was in Pensacola, FL in flight school in the Navy. I did NOT want to date while I was there because it is vy common that women there are looking for a military man (officer preferably) to get them out of the hole called Pensacola. Well, I ended up meeting my wife while I was there. We dated during the summer. She was in Gainesville going to pharmacy school at UF 4hours away. So, we took advantage of the time we had while she was on her break. Eventually, we saw each other only on the weekends. We did this for the next 6 months until a time we decided we wanted to get married. So, we decided to get married thenext summer. Well, only two months after deciding to get married, I got orders to go to Seattle. We got married 19 days later because I would have had to move before our wedding date. After moving, we were about as far apart in the US as two people could get. To make a long story shorter, in the first 4 years we were together, we only got to see each other for 11 months total time combined with 3 1/2 months being the longest at any one time. All this while my wife was in pharmacy school and I was undergoing 2 deployments overseas -very stressful on a relationship. My wife and I are now only a couple of months away from celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary and having brought home our twinbaby girls on our 10th anniversary.

My whole point to this post is that if you love someone and feel they are 'the one', they making the sacrifices necessary to make a long distance relationship work is well worth it. At times, the separation really sucks. Sometimes you question whether it is worth it. But, if you really care for and love the significant other, then you do whatever it takes to make the relationship work and make the other person feel as if the miles apart are only yards apart. Do I regret choosing the path we took? Absolutely not. Realistically, going through what we did made our relationship as strong as it is. It has made my time in dental school and her time in her MBA program go extremely well during the times we cannot devote the time we'd like with the other person. We still know how each other feels for the other. We have learned how to do the litle things to make the other feel loved, wanted and needed.

Long distance relationships are not for everyone. It takes a lot of effort to make them work. But, if you really love someone, it is rewarding and well worth it in the end.
:thumbup:
 

yappy

10+ Year Member
Jul 11, 2008
3,086
330
Status
Pre-Health (Field Undecided)
Man.. just pack her along with you if you're in love - I'm sure she'll support your efforts in becoming a dentist. She can be a great resource during those stressful times during dental school. Just think you're finished with a rough midterm and you come home and the place is all picked up and she's baked you cookies and a good dinner! lol.
 
Jan 27, 2010
31
0
Status
Dental Student
This thread just made me cry:scared:

I have been doing long distance with my fiance for 3 years now and I hve no idea when the long distance is gonna end but I know one day we will be together.
 

txlonghorn

5+ Year Member
Jun 29, 2009
688
2
Status
Dental Student
I'm one of those crazy religious types **gasp!** So when I say I have been working my whole life to become a doctor, then I truly mean that I feel God has called me to this lifestyle. I know that's irrational to anyone outside of this particular set of believes, but I must maintain my own convictions. My girlfriend understands this, and through our unselfishness, we decided to let something really special go, knowing that if God is real then He certainly holds the power to make all things just and good in the end.

Now if God doesn't exist then you might be very correct. But I don't think we should open that can of worms here. :D
I understand your desire to become a doctor based on your beliefs, but how does that exclude you from maintaining a relationship? It is not like you can't have both.
 

timwatley

7+ Year Member
May 5, 2009
629
18
OR
www.ohsu.edu
Status
Pre-Dental, Dentist
I don't see how this is good thing? From what I understand, if you love someone, then it should be unconditional. You can't say, "baby, I love you, but just a little less than dental school or a Mr. Goodbar". I guess for people who are getting into dental school, y'all should also find new fathers, mothers, and siblings, as you know, the distance will end those relationships as well. :rolleyes: Seriously, if you love that person and they love you as well, then it should work out. Yes, the distance will suck, but deal with it if you really care.

I agree completely. It's hard to find someone you love, don't let it slip through you're fingers without a fight.
 

Jmoosec2

Jmoosec2
Jul 2, 2010
117
8
Macon, GA
Status
Medical Student
I understand your desire to become a doctor based on your beliefs, but how does that exclude you from maintaining a relationship? It is not like you can't have both.
It would be long distance for one, which is something we were already struggling with, because she works two jobs and volunteers. Her moving is not an option and we knew if it is stressful now then it will just be amplified when I start school because it would take even more of my focus. We would be in two different worlds. I couldn't put her through that when I know she deserves to live the prime years of her life with someone who can be there for her now. I would love to be that guy, but it's already been decided and I can't be. At least not for the next 6-8 years. And from her point of view, she knows I would be sad all the time that I missed out on all the time to the point that I would only grow depressed and this would lead to a distraction and resentment for what I feel I was called to do.

I will grant you the possibility the we made the wrong choice, but we both went with what we thought would be best for the other. I never said we were happy about it, that's for sure.