The Break-Up?

[The Chosen One]

I'm one of those crazy religious types **gasp!** So when I say I have been working my whole life to become a doctor, then I truly mean that I feel God has called me to this lifestyle. I know that's irrational to anyone outside of this particular set of believes, but I must maintain my own convictions. My girlfriend understands this, and through our unselfishness, we decided to let something really special go, knowing that if God is real then He certainly holds the power to make all things just and good in the end.

Now if God doesn't exist then you might be very correct. But I don't think we should open that can of worms here.

I believe that there is truly no such thing as a completely unselfish act. What we do have are choices and even those are sometimes predetermined. I commend you for having the wisdom to set goals and priorities prior to engaging in life-long, life altering relationship; which carries with it a new set of priorities and obligations.

To be the best at anything requires an all-out, blinders on mentality and work ethic; just look at any successful entrepreneur, athelete, artist, etc...I'm sure their roads to success offered little room for compromise.

What we have to remember is that everything has a cost. Whether it's time, money, health, or relationships. Just know that whatever you choose in life, none of it last forever; so cherish and make the most of whatever you have for as long as you can

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[DrEBA]

Thank you all for this advice. I have bf that's in medical school and next year thinking about where to apply/if he will match into residency programs in FL. I just was accepted to Nova and we have been living together for 2 yrs now where we go to school, about 7 hours away from Nova. Our lives are at different points but I am really hoping and praying that the Gods line this up for us. I'll be 7 hours away from him the first year, and then who knows!

That's the problem with being and having driven partners. We can't always be together. BUT I think that since we will be so busy and studying so much that it will actually benefit us. While I was in undergrad, he did say that he was sacrificing some of his study time in med school in order to make room for me and him time. So I truly believe that this is going to be a blessing in disguise. And I do believe that our foundation is strong enough to have the trust and not argue about silly things. I'm glad to hear that so many other people are in my situation. I'm wishing you all the best and I hope all of our situations turn out positively!

 

[Pennpaki]

Ive been in an LDR 3 years of college...

this is 3 years of partying, studying and emotions...

we see each other once a month and on breaks... max amount of time together in one stretch = 1.5 month... which is practically living together
and its still great..

i have more time than him because he needs to study twice as much to do half as well...and his field is actuarial.. so i fill in his busy time with my friend time


wen im busy he'll hang out... u just need to respect each others need to have individual fun.. and trust of course...and make sure ur friends know ur in a relationship...

as on one occasion a friend pushed me towards a guy who looked like matt damon andwas clearly hitting on mesaying" gooo"

me: " boyfriend remember"

her: " hes in michigan...might as well be dead"



other than that... theres really no reason to PREEMPTIVELY break up

with all due respect it sounds sooo sily....

if you're gonna break up or your relationship cant handle it... u WILL break up...

theres no need to do it in PREP for dental school...sounds unnecessary

 

[Evergrey]

If the physical component is the main thing about your relationship or matters so much that you don't think it will work, then that is kinda sad.

That is a little judgmental. Not to sound cynical, but there really is nothing separating a friendship from a relationship besides that pointless "physical component" you describe. I am in a LDR as well, and not being able to see each other/be with each other sucks. However, it is a sacrifice that we are both willing to make in order to preserve our future together. You talk about it like being long-distance from your significant other is fun, or something. It's not.

 

[Old Chomper]

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[GiveBackSmiles]

I just stumbled on this thread because I have a lot of pressure from people to set aside my acceptance to dental school to pursue my marriage instead. This thread looked pretty bleak in terms of whether the relationship could survive but I am here to say that if you really love the person, it will last and neither of you have to give up your dreams or goals to make it last. I met my now husband in high school 6 years ago. We dated for 4 months before he left for undergrad. At this point, everyone in the world and their mother told us that there was no way we would last. 2 years of long distance and I followed him to the same undergrad institution. We had 2 years of non-long distance before he graduated again and left for graduate school. He is still in his graduate program and we got married just this past summer. We had really hoped I would be able to go to dental school where he is but turns out fate has different plans for us. Throughout the entirety of our relationship, I cannot tell you how many people told us we wouldn't make it...that we were just a fling. Even now, very important and well respected people in our lives are telling us that our marriage is doomed to fail because of my decision to attend dental school apart from him. The general consensus is that I am being selfish (especially as a woman) for pursuing my goal and "sacrificing" our marriage in the process. However, I have full confidence that we will not only get through it, but our relationship will be stronger because we have been apart for so long and we both know how much we should cherish our "togetherness" when time comes. I guess all of that just amounts to me saying that maintaining long distance no cakewalk, but it is definitely well worth the try if you really love the person.