The Perfect Medical School Applicant

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The perfect medical school candidate is one who performs emergency angioplasty on their interviewer (having a heart attack after looking at your perfect 4.0 and 45 MCAT) with a knife, fork, carnival ballon that was originally in the shape of a dog, and some dental floss.

If that doesn't get you in, I don't know what will.
 
Male applicant:

-4.0 double major in biochem/engineering from Harvard
-Took senior year off to lead special forces military team and personally shot Osama Bin Laden
-Performed lifesaving surgery on fellow soldiers since the field hospital was too far away for his whole team to make it there
-Gold medals in summer and winter olympic sports
-While performing surgery in the military, developed a new surgical technique that decreases mortality by 99% for people with severe trauma injuries
-Was on last months cover of GQ man of the year

Female applicant:
-4.0 from Princeton triple majoring in Chemistry/Womens studies/Biostatistics
-Founded a celibacy club for teen girls where she single handedly decreased the teen pregnancy rate in CA by 90%
-Won last years Miss America pagent
-Gold medal in figure skating and gymnastics
-Served as foster mother for 10 kids while working/volunteering/going to school full time
-Turned down a marriage proposal from Prince William in order to follow her dream of medicine
 
NYRN said:
Male applicant:

-4.0 double major in biochem/engineering from Harvard
-Took senior year off to lead special forces military team and personally shot Osama Bin Laden
-Performed lifesaving surgery on fellow soldiers since the field hospital was too far away for his whole team to make it there
-Gold medals in summer and winter olympic sports
-While performing surgery in the military, developed a new surgical technique that decreases mortality by 99% for people with severe trauma injuries
-Was on last months cover of GQ man of the year

Female applicant:
-4.0 from Princeton triple majoring in Chemistry/Womens studies/Biostatistics
-Founded a celibacy club for teen girls where she single handedly decreased the teen pregnancy rate in CA by 90%
-Won last years Miss America pagent
-Gold medal in figure skating and gymnastics
-Served as foster mother for 10 kids while working/volunteering/going to school full time
-Turned down a marriage proposal from Prince William in order to follow her dream of medicine
Click to expand...

Wow..So much leadership...:scared:
 
The best applicant has babysat for every adcom... or has family connections. 😉
 
His words carry weight that would break a less interesting mans jaw.

He is the life of parties he never attended.

Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact.

And lastly, he lives vicariously through himself.
 
I'm half white, half Asian 🙁🙁🙁 I'm not gonna get into med school!!! OVER REPRESENTED!! :scared::scared::scared::scared:

O well...there's always the corner :xf:
 
She graduated from Yale when she was 13, and then got her Ph.D at 17. After winning the nobel prizes in Economics (for ending poverty) and physics (for creating a continuous motion machine that led to free energy, which ended poverty,) she went into full time crime fighting (literally, not with some wimpy non-profit.) At this point she got bored and decided to pursue a career in medicine to kill some time.
 
what a powerbump.

i know this is a lighthearted exercise, but i do find it kind of interesting that over the course of the thread so far no personal qualities of the perfect applicant has been brought up..
 
pazan said:
Research experience: created a type of alcohol with the same (joyful) effects as ethanol without the lingering hangover/cirrhosis/vomiting/awkward morning after with the casual acquaintance in your bed. Published results in Science as first author.

I challenge anyone to come up with a more significant scientific breakthrough than that.
Click to expand...

A pill that while having no significant side effects, can increase a man's junk to 12", ejaculate money, and be studded with diamonds.
 
Co-authored a paper from a Nobel research team? 😛
 
RogueUnicorn said:
what a powerbump.

i know this is a lighthearted exercise, but i do find it kind of interesting that over the course of the thread so far no personal qualities of the perfect applicant has been brought up..
Click to expand...

Who has time to develop interpersonal skills when they're implementing public health policy for 3rd world countries?
 
The perfect applicatant is in fact....

...The most interesting man in the world from the Dos Equis commercials! 😱
 
Daughter of a Native american mother who lives on a reservation and African refugee father.
Attended Juliard as a cello major, graduating with 4.0, performances include the Met, and Vienna. Played in many orchestras worldwide.
Earned a gold medal at the winter olympics at age 16 in ice skating.
Finished a second degree in Biochemistry at Yale within 2 years. (4.0)
45T MCAT
Extensive research on healthcare disparities and increased chance of disease. 3 major journal publications.
President of Juliard "Arts for Healing" Club
Worked as a CNA since high school, supporting herself through school.
Spent a year educating Congo villagers on STD prevention and proper nutrition.
Negotiated the creation of an ice rink stadium in Congo and gave free ice skating lessens to Congo villagers.
 
At the age of 15 he braved the tropical rainforest to procure new materials for use in new antibiotics.

He convinced Bill Maher to get a flu vaccination.

He figured out nuclear fusion, making energy so cheap that all the water in Africa could be sent through a rigorous reverse osmosis plant.

He is homozygous in CCR5 mutation - and - using a sample of his own blood, discovered a new vaccination for HIV.

He had physicians shadow him

He aced the IIT exam and University of Tokyo entrance exam, but instead of going to either of those places he decided to go to Cambridge to study theoretical physics with Stephen Hawking.
 
Myuu said:
Been there. Done that. You'll have no problems being half-asian.
Click to expand...

haha Thanks Myuu I remember we had this discussion before lol

BTW when you interviewed, did any of the ADCOM asked about your ethnicity or made comments?
 
Eric01 said:
At the age of 15 he braved the tropical rainforest to procure new materials for use in new antibiotics.

He convinced Bill Maher to get a flu vaccination.

He figured out nuclear fusion, making energy so cheap that all the water in Africa could be sent through a rigorous reverse osmosis plant.

He is homozygous in CCR5 mutation - and - using a sample of his own blood, discovered a new vaccination for HIV.

He had physicians shadow him

He aced the IIT exam and University of Tokyo entrance exam, but instead of going to either of those places he decided to go to Cambridge to study theoretical physics with Stephen Hawking.
Click to expand...

lol
 
Creates The Male "Birth Control" Pill. Men around the world jump for joy, with the decrease of child support funding a significant percentage of women are in a sudden need of a paying job.

The most loved and hated applicant alive.
 
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