The queer question

[getunconcsious]

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Hey yall, I know this is a strange first thing to ask about, but I am wondering if the fact that I am gay will affect my chances? I don't come off as very gay but I think it probably occurs to most people that I might be. No one has asked me about it yet (I've had 5 interviews, and I have a 6th coming up), but I'm just worried about it as far as conservative places like Texas A&M and University of Nevada. Neither of those schools asked but do you think it would hurt my chances? Does anyone else have experience with this? Any input would be appreciated.

 

[Medikit]

If you don't bring it up it probably doesn't effect your chances. I would imagine that if you were extremely feminine it could hurt your chances just because that is not considered a good personality trait for a male. However it sounds like you think your mannerisms don't really stand out so I don't see how the adcom would think you were gay. I usually don't think guys are gay unless they tell me or I hear gossip about them, I've known so many feminine guys who are straight I don't feel like it's a very accurate method of determining sexual preference. But I suppose if you are a person who is particularly worried about being homosexual people then catching a few heterosexuals in your net isn't a big deal.
You can't change their perception of you. You cannot make them like you, whether they think you are gay or not.

 

[CarlosMielefan]

If you don't bring it up it probably doesn't effect your chances. I would imagine that if you were extremely feminine it could hurt your chances just because that is not considered a good personality trait for a male. However it sounds like you think your mannerisms don't really stand out so I don't see how the adcom would think you were gay. I usually don't think guys are gay unless they tell me or I hear gossip about them, I've known so many feminine guys who are straight I don't feel like it's a very accurate method of determining sexual preference. But I suppose if you are a person who is particularly worried about being homosexual people then catching a few heterosexuals in your net isn't a big deal.
You can't change their perception of you. You cannot make them like you, whether they think you are gay or not.

What on earth are you talking about... feminine... not a good personality trait for a male... My word! This is exactly why Bush won.

 

[ku06]

What on earth are you talking about... feminine... not a good personality trait for a male... My word! This is exactly why Bush won.

Don't judge him, he is just stating the facts. Many people do not think it is a good personality trait for a man, and therefore it could hurt him because this could make many patients uncomfortable. Don't be a jerk, keep your politics out of this. Not everything relates back to politics.

PS I would agree on this. It is probably best to go after a don't ask, don't tell policy for now. I don't think that admissions would bring it up because that risks them looking like they are discriminating if you are not accepted. In other words, I wouldn't worry to much about it because it puts the admissions in a rock and hard place.

 

[CarlosMielefan]

On a more constructive note, I do not think that any medical school would risk being considered antiquated or out of step with the modern students they are shaping. Medical schools, like almost all educational institutions are liberal and open-minded. you are not applying to Bob Jones University, and so you shouldn't worry too much about it. It is an issue only if you make it an issue... and even then, how does being gay or worriedly gay affect being an effective doctor. In fact, at UPenn, they bring a gay patient into their patient-doctor class, and have him explain the discomfort of gay patients in meeting with their doctors. Even though being gay is not part of the URM category, do you think it is lost on medical schools that a gay student brings a diverse aspect to their institution?

They always stress that in interviews, you should be yourself. If being yourself includes the gay aspects of who you are, then please, be yourself!
Besides, do you really want to go to a university that rejects you because you are gay. Like.... please!

My tiara sits happily on my head wherever I go.

 

[CarlosMielefan]

Don't judge him, he is just stating the facts. Many people do not think it is a good personality trait for a man, and therefore it could hurt him because this could make many patients uncomfortable. Don't be a jerk, keep your politics out of this. Not everything relates back to politics.

PS I would agree on this. It is probably best to go after a don't ask, don't tell policy for now. I don't think that admissions would bring it up because that risks them looking like they are discriminating if you are not accepted. In other words, I wouldn't worry to much about it because it puts the admissions in a rock and hard place.

I repeat... don't ask... don't tell.... This is precisely why Bush won! What are you people talking about!

 

[PreMedAdAG]

to the OP,
I suggest you be yourself and if it comes up, just be honest. You'll want to click with the school and if they have an issue about your sexual orientation, then do you really want to go there? I mean, it could make you umcomfortable for four long years! Anyway, best of luck to you.

I always think of it this way.. I hope you find this somewhat amusing...

I'm like almost 6' tall , played lots of sports and I wear heels and most of the time I feel like bea arthur from the Golden Girls. I guess some could say that's NOT very feminine, but not once has someone asked me if I was a lesbian...just like no one will probably ask you anything if you happen to have even the slightest femine characteristic...it just doesn't come up.. so no worries.

That was a lame example, but me trying to lighten you up! Be yourself and you'll find the right school! 🙂 Good luck

 

[Medikit]

to the OP,
I suggest you be yourself and if it comes up, just be honest. You'll want to click with the school and if they have an issue about your sexual orientation, then do you really want to go there? I mean, it could make you umcomfortable for four long years!

That's a good point, but if it turns out that the only schools that are available are ones that have a 1% chance of rejecting him if he tells them up front that he is gay... perhaps that op would rather go to medschool and be uncomfortable than not be uncomfortable at all. I don't think the chance is as high as 1%, I think there are a lot of gay people in medical school and I hope that the OP has interviewers that are understanding.

 

[IndyZX]

What on earth are you talking about... feminine... not a good personality trait for a male... My word! This is exactly why Bush won.

No, that is not exactly why Bush won.

It is socially unacceptable for males to show feminine characteristics; that's just how the world outside your bubble is. If you're gay, then I got zero problems with that - but give me a freakin' break -- it's called reality.

 

[Shaz]

Hey yall, I know this is a strange first thing to ask about, but I am wondering if the fact that I am gay will affect my chances? I don't come off as very gay but I think it probably occurs to most people that I might be. No one has asked me about it yet (I've had 5 interviews, and I have a 6th coming up), but I'm just worried about it as far as conservative places like Texas A&M and University of Nevada. Neither of those schools asked but do you think it would hurt my chances? Does anyone else have experience with this? Any input would be appreciated.

Adcom's say they don't discriminate based on gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc. but, to tell you the truth, i have to believe that it does end up being a negative factor. I've felt i've gotten the same negative response when people know I am muslim...hang in there buddy, this country still has prejudices, but it is still better than most

 

[eralza]

The medical community is a strange contrast of diversity and conservatism. I really doubt if sexual orientation will be pondered unless you are interviewing at USUHS or Loma Linda. There really isn't a reason to bring it up, since being gay is irrelevant to practicing medicine. Like stated above, just be confident being yourself. Best of luck!

 

[CarlosMielefan]

No, that is not exactly why Bush won.

It is socially unacceptable for males to show feminine characteristics; that's just how the world outside your bubble is. If you're gay, then I got zero problems with that - but give me a freakin' break -- it's called reality.

No one should ever be asked to be less than themselves. I'll stay in my bubble if you stay in yours, as it appears my reality is not your reality. No medical school will turn an applicant down because he exhibits "feminine" characteristics! Wait, come to think of it.... no medical school cares what YOU find socially acceptable. It simply isn't up to you or the bigoted setting that formed your silly ideas of "reality."

Wait... there is a moose's head...you're from... Texas? The state of large belt buckles, tight jeans, and false machismo. Why on earth am I arguing with you!

 

[Fermata]

My thinking is this: unless you have to, I wouldn't tell anyone that you are.

Don't shoot yourself in the foot when you are this close to being accepted.

It's one thing to be gay, but it's quite another to go out of your way to let everyone else know you are.

Just don't jeopardize all the effort that you've put into this.

 

[roja]

Perhaps there is a bias from where I went to medical school, but this wasnt' a problem there. One of hte men I interviewed with was openly gay (very very obvious) as are several otehr attendings. We had several homosexuals (male and female) in my class. One or two, very obvious. didn't seem to affect them that much.

Here in NYC, we have a good percentage of attendings and residents who are gay, and it didn't apparantly affect them.

yes, there are definately still more close minded *****ic people who think being gay somehow keeps you from being a good doctor. If you have concerns about a particular school, I would seriously consider goign there, you may end up feeling very letft out.

You sound like you will do fine. Most importantly, just be yourself. there's nothing wrong with who you are.

 

[Psycho Doctor]

Maybe i am exceptionally naive....but i can not believe it would ever come up on an interview. You mean you actually think an adcom would come right out and ask "are you gay"? I find it hard to believe they would even mention homosexuality? In what context could they actually mention it?

Just be yourself, be confident and don't bring it up. You don't know the interviewer's feelings about the subject and those who react negatively to it often do so when homosexuals feel the need to mention it in every other sentence. Diversity or not, i'm quite sure no one wants to see sexual orientation define the person and be the whole center of their focus. Also if you ask questions about the school's feelings on homosexuals or how the student body reacts to it, you are setting yourself up for them to find a reason you may not fit in, and this could be the interviewer's own perspective.

 

[Psycho Doctor]

No medical school will turn an applicant down because he exhibits "feminine" characteristics! Wait, come to think of it.... no medical school cares what YOU find socially acceptable. It simply isn't up to you or the bigoted setting that formed your silly ideas of "reality."

No medical school should turn an applicant down because he exhibits "feminine" characteristics, but don't fool, yourself; the medical school has the upperhand and could turn you down because they didn't like the color of your suit that day. And true, no medical school cares what someone else finds socially acceptable. However you don't know what they find socially acceptable or whether they are bigoted or not. This is reality and the competition is too fierce to take any chances.

 

[firebody]

Hey yall, I know this is a strange first thing to ask about, but I am wondering if the fact that I am gay will affect my chances? I don't come off as very gay but I think it probably occurs to most people that I might be. No one has asked me about it yet (I've had 5 interviews, and I have a 6th coming up), but I'm just worried about it as far as conservative places like Texas A&M and University of Nevada. Neither of those schools asked but do you think it would hurt my chances? Does anyone else have experience with this? Any input would be appreciated.

something to keep in mind is that the environment you're in can play a huge factor in your happiness the next four years.

as far as input, no one here can give you any credible information better than students going through the same predicament. i know it's terrible pointing this certain individual out, but there's a thread in the allopathic forum right now that could really open your eyes to some issues and choices you might be faced with.

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=159723

 

[TexPre-Med]

I met a gay OB/GYN at Methodist Hospital. He also gives talks at Baylor College of Medicine. He must have graduated from somewhere and he is as openly gay as possible. During the surgery, the organs have names like Mr. Uterus. I personally think it would be Ms. Uterus, but that is just me. To make a long story short, I don't think you will have a problem. I think most women would even prefer a gay OB/GYN or one that works with obesity before they would want a straight guy. Just my opinion though.

 

[monopolova]

I think it will hurt you only if YOU bring it up explicitly. Few people want to know what you "are", and if you don't say anything about it, you won't irritate anyone by bringing it up (personally, I think that's the only reason someone might not recommend you after knowing you're gay, namely if they feel you're so obsessed with your sexuality that you have to force it in people's faces all the time or confront other people's views on the subject, not that you're gay in the first place). That's not to say a very liberal interviewer probably wouldn't get a kick out of feeling empowered to have talked to you (thus, advatange -- you), but why take the chance? I say be professional for the occassion, but be yourself without bringing it up. Best of luck!

 

[runner1979]

I think this is a topic of much concern to many gay applicants. Its no mystery that some people have serious issues with homosexuals. Ultimately, the decision to tell you interviewers or not is up to you. I opted not to be "out" in the interview process--but that doesn't mean I wasn't myself. Afterall, its not like some straight guy walked in and said, "Hi, my name's Bob and I like chicks." What I'm getting at, is that I'm a creative, compassionate, individual with tons of interests.....who just happens to be gay. I'm not a Gay creative, compassionate etc. Get my point? Its only a small part of who I am. I've already gotten one acceptance, so I think this approach works well.

I know one of my decisions to become a doctor stems from the fact that I have difficulty approaching my own physicians about gay health issues. In fact, my Internist spent 30 minutes asking ME questions about the lifestyle. I feel, as a physician, that I can help meet the needs of a small portion of the population that feels the same way I do. While I think there are many resources for HIV+ gay individuals, I think the whole everyday care aspect has been neglected. Just as women have specific health concerns, I think gay men do to. This did come up in one interview and I was very frank about it. And part of it is reading your interviewer.

Now, the only other thing I would say to the OP is to reconsider applying to Texas A&M. While I think Texas is a very accepting place (Austin and Dallas have two of the nation's largest gay populations), College Station is a difficult place to live in. While the medical school is reputable, you may want to consider your extra-curricular possibilities. I only applied to schools that I knew I would be happy in *outside* of school too.

Best of Luck. Just be *yourself* and not the person you think people wnat you to be--and the schools will have difficulty finding fault in you.

 

[tllajd]

Does anyone really think that this would come up in an interview? I don't think people sit and think about what sexual orientation you might be during an interview. Unless you say one of your hobbies is hanging out at the gay clubs on weekends, why would they ask? It's like asking such a bizarre question like if you prefer to sleep in pajamas or in the nude?

I'm a lesbian with a partner of ten years and two children together. We have many loans together, have shopped for cars and bought two homes together. I don't think this country is as much prejudice against gays and lesbians as people might think. Only one time did I ever feel discriminated against. But, needless to say I didn't get that home loan.

Would I like to bring up my family and my children...absolutely. Will I? I'm not sure. The bottom line is, they hold the key and I'm trying to get in. It only takes one person to say that my lifestyle is immoral, my children are damaged and I'm out. My future is truly in their hands.

I could see if you have a partner and are raising children together. You want to bring in family experiences and experiences you've had with your children. It's a huge part of your life. But if you are single, why would it ever come up?

Make your statements after you are accepted.

 

[ajt2003]

As a gay man, I really don't care if one school or another knows -- in fact, I let the more liberal schools I applied to -- like Yale, MSSM and Stanford -- know I was gay (it's a sliver of what make me special! unique! sort of! what lame secondary questions!).

I (and many ADCOMs) think it's important to have a diverse group of doctors...so I don't think it's going to hurt me at all. Granted, I only applied to schools in blue states, so...hehe. Sorry, had to get an election comment in here...

I do think the question of one's sexuality could come up in an interview. A lot of people in medicine are old, stodgy and nervy. I'm not exceedingly obvious, but still if it comes up, it comes up. I'm not going to lie about it.

If I get asked a question about who influences me most in life, I'm going to say my bf of 6 years. Cause he does. And he's amazing. If I get asked about whether or not I have a gf/fiance/wife, I'll set the record straight. Or gay. You know what I mean. True, these questions are somewhat illegal, but stuff like that might come up...

Just wanted to contribute...

 

[UTKB]

Now, the only other thing I would say to the OP is to reconsider applying to Texas A&M. While I think Texas is a very accepting place (Austin and Dallas have two of the nation's largest gay populations), College Station is a difficult place to live in. While the medical school is reputable, you may want to consider your extra-curricular possibilities. I only applied to schools that I knew I would be happy in *outside* of school too.

I have to disagree with this. I am from Bryan/College Station, and I can say College Station is not difficult to live in, even for gay folk. I have 2 friends from high school who are obviously gay and are undergrads at Texas A&M. They have never had problems with discrimination and there are gay clubs and stuff like that for them to meet other people like them and form a community. I think there's a gay bar near campus...heard about it, never actually seen it. There are always going to be a few rednecks that give people a bad impression about places like College Station, but no one really pays any attention to them around here anyway. The people of the area are quite normal, not bigoted hillbillies like everyone likes to say. The majority of citizens and students, while conservative, are very friendly and accepting of everyone. I don't think you should worry about or rule out Texas A&M.

 

[Khenon]

I would think that if I walked into an interview and brought up that I was heterosexual, that would hurt me. Not because the majority of the people in the room are homosexual (that's unlikely), but because it's inappropriate to talk about my sex life publicly. Don't get me wrong . . . I'm liberal (voted Kerry 🙁 ), I'm for gay marriage, I'm all about minority rights, etc. But why would one need to bring up that they have sex with a certain gender during an interview?

I guess it's feasible that the interviewer would bring the topic up, and in that case I do believe you need to be yourself (ie tell them you're gay - whether it be directly or indirectly). There's nothing wrong with that. I'm an athiest and I never bring it up because I know I would offend the majority of the people in this country. However, if someone asks me, then it's their problem. They're going to have to hear that I don't believe in any god. It still offends them, but hey! They asked. I guess that's how I feel about this topic. It doesn't seem appropriate to bring it up unsolicited. But if asked you need to stay true to who you are.

 

[runner1979]

I have to disagree with this. I am from Bryan/College Station, and I can say College Station is not difficult to live in, even for gay folk. I have 2 friends from high school who are obviously gay and are undergrads at Texas A&M. They have never had problems with discrimination and there are gay clubs and stuff like that for them to meet other people like them and form a community. I think there's a gay bar near campus...heard about it, never actually seen it. There are always going to be a few rednecks that give people a bad impression about places like College Station, but no one really pays any attention to them around here anyway. The people of the area are quite normal, not bigoted hillbillies like everyone likes to say. The majority of citizens and students, while conservative, are very friendly and accepting of everyone. I don't think you should worry about or rule out Texas A&M.

Speaking from experience. While the academics are fine, one can only take so much of the staunch conservatism. But more to the point, it is just a really difficult place to meet people to date, etc. Every gay guy there couldn't wait to get the Hell outta there. And going on a date was a nightmare. Also to note--Med school at A&M requires time in Temple. If College Station is the 5th rung of Gay Med student hell, Temple would be the 7th.

 

[UTKB]

Speaking from experience--did my undergrad at A&M. While the academics are fine, one can only take so much of the staunch conservatism. But more to the point, it is just a really difficult place to meet people to date, etc. Every gay guy I was friends with there couldn't wait to get the Hell outta there. And going on a date was a nightmare. Also to note--Med school at A&M requires time in Temple. If College Station is the 5th rung of Gay Med student hell, Temple would be the 7th.

Okay, so do you hate it because it's conservative, or because you think people dislike you?

 

[VPDcurt]

if you didn't make your sexual orientation such a big deal, then no one would think anything of it (for the most part). don't bring it up and ask question like.."is it going to hurt my chances that I am gay?" just let things go and stop making it such an issue.

 

[IndyZX]

No one should ever be asked to be less than themselves. I'll stay in my bubble if you stay in yours, as it appears my reality is not your reality. No medical school will turn an applicant down because he exhibits "feminine" characteristics! Wait, come to think of it.... no medical school cares what YOU find socially acceptable. It simply isn't up to you or the bigoted setting that formed your silly ideas of "reality."

Wait... there is a moose's head...you're from... Texas? The state of large belt buckles, tight jeans, and false machismo. Why on earth am I arguing with you!

Haha... wow. I stand in awe at your hypocrisy.

 

[ajt2003]

if you didn't make your sexual orientation such a big deal, then no one would think anything of it (for the most part). don't bring it up and ask question like.."is it going to hurt my chances that I am gay?" just let things go and stop making it such an issue.

WHOA. I beg to differ! I beg to differ! Not looking for a fight; I just don't like it when others' opinions are marginalized.

For some, being gay IS a big deal. Like, say, for me! It's not exclusively how I label myself, but it's a part of how I define myself -- and I believe many other homosexuals feel similarly. If a medical school is not gay-friendly, I think it's a perfectly legitimate question to ask if one's chances of admission will be adversely affected because of sexuality.

And, um, in case you haven't noticed, it's A HUGE issue. In fact, many pundits are touting gay marriage (or the right to ban it) as the deciding factor (along with abortion, stem cell research) for Bush's win.

No one's going to walk into an interview like Big Gay Al, but I feel like heterosexuals rarely give their sexuality a second thought...but for some of us who are gay, it's an important -- albeit usually latent -- issue...

 

[VPDcurt]

And, um, in case you haven't noticed, it's A HUGE issue. In fact, many pundits are touting gay marriage (or the right to ban it) as the deciding factor (along with abortion, stem cell research) for Bush's win.

Being gay and gay marriage are two different issues.

 

[UTKB]

One more thing about College Station...Most young people can't wait to get the hell outta there. Look at me: grew up there, went to school in Austin, now in Houston. It's not only gay men who want to leave! Gotta give the place some credit; a lot of people love it there and don't leave or go back later. And runner1979, I'm not trying to pick an argument here. Just trying to give another opinion to the OP.

 

[Dr Wannabee]

I repeat... don't ask... don't tell.... This is precisely why Bush won! What are you people talking about!

You seem to be forgetting that the majority voted for Bush therefore we're right and you are wrong.

Now shutup, the majority has spoken.

 

[Khenon]

You seem to be forgetting that the majority voted for Bush therefore we're right and you are wrong.

Now shutup, the majority has spoken.

 

[nomo15]

you know, i'm not gay, but at one interview when asked about hobbies i said "i taught myself gourmet cooking." maybe it was just me, but the vibe I got from the 70-something Southerner army veteran interviewer (in a Southern med school) was that it was weird for a guy to say that...

he kind of paused, and then he said "well, i admire anyone who can cook.." I would not at all say anything bad about the guy (very nice guy), i just sorta think that the question of whether i was gay crossed his mind. I think my point is interviewers might wonder even if they don't ask, and if they happen to have a prejudice against homosexuality, then who knows? just be prepared for the possibility.

 

[ajt2003]

Being gay and gay marriage are two different issues.

You're absolutely right. There's no relation between the two. Nope. It's like night and day. Like black and white. Like gay and straight. Like, well, gay and gay marriage. Thank you for enlightening me.

 

[runner1979]

Okay, so do you hate it because it's conservative, or because you think people dislike you?

I think we are just going to chase our tails on this. You have inferred a few things that I didn't plan on implying. I was just saying that College Station is difficult to live in for many gay students there. Thats it. Everything you say is true--the people are nice, hill billies more the exception than the rule, but there is more to it than that. And once you are in medical school, you are at an age where most other gay students have graduated and gone to greener fields. It's gray issue, so let's just agree to disagree on this and call it a day.

On a side note--the club there blows. Ugliest drag queens ever! [and I use the term drag queen as liberally as possible in this instance]

 

[VPDcurt]

You're absolutely right. There's no relation between the two. Nope. It's like night and day. Like black and white. Like gay and straight. Like, well, gay and gay marriage. Thank you for enlightening me.

There is a relation between the two but they are still two different issues. Gay marriage is controversial because of the sanctity of the institution of marriage. Homosexuality is controversial for various others reasons that I am not going to get into right now.

 

[UTKB]

On a side note--the club there blows. Ugliest drag queens ever! [and I use the term drag queen as liberally as possible in this instance]

LOL that's hilarious runner!! See ya in the Texas thread.

 

[Psycho Doctor]

Firebody, how can you post if it says you were banned?

 

[Psycho Doctor]

Does anyone really think that this would come up in an interview? I don't think people sit and think about what sexual orientation you might be during an interview. Unless you say one of your hobbies is hanging out at the gay clubs on weekends, why would they ask? It's like asking such a bizarre question like if you prefer to sleep in pajamas or in the nude?

I'm a lesbian with a partner of ten years and two children together. We have many loans together, have shopped for cars and bought two homes together. I don't think this country is as much prejudice against gays and lesbians as people might think. Only one time did I ever feel discriminated against. But, needless to say I didn't get that home loan.

Would I like to bring up my family and my children...absolutely. Will I? I'm not sure. The bottom line is, they hold the key and I'm trying to get in. It only takes one person to say that my lifestyle is immoral, my children are damaged and I'm out. My future is truly in their hands.

I could see if you have a partner and are raising children together. You want to bring in family experiences and experiences you've had with your children. It's a huge part of your life. But if you are single, why would it ever come up?

Make your statements after you are accepted.

Do you seriously think your children will never hear ridicule regarding their "parents". You're delusional if you believe that.

 

[beep]

i think being gay is definitely an issue. not because of what you do in bed (which isn't so very relevent to med school interviews) but because of your experiences of a particular culture, your insider/outsider perspective, and your personal knowledge about the specific social & health issues faced by gay men. i see it as a definite positive, but i am also certain that there's plenty of predjudice out there, and you never know who's going to interview you--even at a gay-friendly school. if i were you, i would stay closeted unless

a) you are fairly certain you have a queer-friendly interviewer
or
b) you have had significant volunteer and/or community service experience working with gay people, in which case you should talk about it
or
c) staying closeted is distressing to you and it feels psychologically important to be out when you're interviewing

if they ask you about it, remember that you don't have to answer unless you feel like it & think it will help you.

if the subject comes up, try to be as matter-of-fact and casual as possible and put your sexual orientation in the context of your wider life and the skills it's taught you. ("as a gay man, i've always known that my sexuality is just part of who i am, even though others sometimes pay more attention to that aspect than they do to me as a scholar, or me as an athelete, or me working in my community, and so on. that experience has given me a lot of insight into what it might be like to be different from the norm in other ways, for example, to be a person of color or a person with a disability or a non-native speaker of english.")

whether you stay closeted or not during the interview, i would try to get a feel for what it would be like to be out at the school. med school is no cakewalk, so 4 years in the closet or needing to fight back all the time would be more than at least i could handle.

 

[neuropower]

Do you seriously think your children will never hear ridicule regarding their "parents". You're delusional if you believe that.

why should that matter? my parents aren't gay, but i've certainly withstood ridicule in my life (relating to family matters, in fact), so i think its delusional to think a child can go through life without ridicule, or even should strive for it for that matter. if anything, learning not to care what other people think is a skill best learned when young.

my point is that there are tons of reasons why parents could hesitate before having children because of potential sources of ridicule. like if the parents are really short, or fat, or bald, or ugly, or stupid, or extremely SMART...i don't think you would ask these parents to give up having children because they might be ridiculed by others.

 

[ajt2003]

why should that matter? my parents aren't gay, but i've certainly withstood ridicule in my life (relating to family matters, in fact), so i think its delusional to think a child can go through life without ridicule, or even should strive for it for that matter. if anything, learning not to care what other people think is a skill best learned when young.

my point is that there are tons of reasons why parents could hesitate before having children because of potential sources of ridicule. like if the parents are really short, or fat, or bald, or ugly, or stupid, or extremely SMART...i don't think you would ask these parents to give up having children because they might be ridiculed by others.

Neuropower, just ignore Psycho. He's clearly established himself as a firm member of the fundamentalist Christian right. His opinions are resolute and it's just pointless to argue. I love how he put parents in quotes! So priceless.

 

[beep]

Do you seriously think your children will never hear ridicule regarding their "parents". You're delusional if you believe that.

Sounds like you might be willing & able to make your predictions come true. Ridiculed anyone lately?

 

[ellia08]

On a practical note:

Of course it is an important part of who you are (duh).

It might come up if you were in any activites or support groups for others that are related to these issues (ex: LGTBA - lesbian gay transgender bisexual association)

I say be chill. Behave as you normally do. If you usually talk about it, then dont feel inhibited. If it isnt a usual topic of conversation for you, dont feel that you have to speak about it. If they bring it up, just be honest. The truth is that you are looking at them as much as they are looking at you. As someone said before, if they cant deal with something like this then chances are you dont want to be there for four years. (besides your own comfort you should ask yourself how a school like this would approach the numerous homosexual patients you will no doubt meet as a doctor).

On the other hand dont discount a school until youve been there. Just because a school is in State X doesnt necessarily mean anything. See how you feel when you're there.

Dont worry. Just be who you are in a normal conversation. Raise issues if you have them. Good luck.

 

[VPDcurt]

Do you seriously think your children will never hear ridicule regarding their "parents". You're delusional if you believe that.

I totally agree with you psycho. Personally, I would not want to have 2 mothers or 2 fathers. Kids face enough ridicule from their peers as it is. This would just be another log on the fire.

 

[velo]

Hey yall, I know this is a strange first thing to ask about, but I am wondering if the fact that I am gay will affect my chances? I don't come off as very gay but I think it probably occurs to most people that I might be. No one has asked me about it yet (I've had 5 interviews, and I have a 6th coming up), but I'm just worried about it as far as conservative places like Texas A&M and University of Nevada. Neither of those schools asked but do you think it would hurt my chances? Does anyone else have experience with this? Any input would be appreciated.

we have three openly gay people in our class and it hasn't ever been an issue....I might think twice about going to school in texas though 😉
Good luck

 

[VPDcurt]

If gays want to be accepted in this society, then stop singling yourselves out as "gay" and how hard your life is. Everyone deals with difficulties in life but we don't build every experience upon those preferences - but most people don't walk around saying things like, "is it because I'm ________?. Do whatever you want to do behind the scenes - quite frankly I don't really care what that is. Just don't walk into an interview or write on a secondary application that you are gay. There is no need for that and it quite frankly is irrelevant to the practice of medicine. You are the only ones bringing this issue to the forefront on this message board - if you don't want your sexual orientation to be such a big deal, then stop talking about it all the time.

 

[runner1979]

Well folks, looks like we've answered the OP questions. Lets just let this one go....

 

[Psycho Doctor]

why should that matter? my parents aren't gay, but i've certainly withstood ridicule in my life (relating to family matters, in fact), so i think its delusional to think a child can go through life without ridicule, or even should strive for it for that matter. if anything, learning not to care what other people think is a skill best learned when young.

it seemed to matter to the one with children: "The bottom line is, they hold the key and I'm trying to get in. It only takes one person to say that my lifestyle is immoral, my children are damaged and I'm out. My future is truly in their hands." I was merely pointing out there was no way to avoid ridicule.