1. While sitting in the back of a moving 7-ton, using your Ka-Bar knife to tickle your friend's leg is all fun and games, until the 7-ton runs over a big bump and someone gets stabbed.
2. As a battalion surgeon, I discovered that my pharmacological knowledge is woefully inadequate, when I was asked by a Marine if there are any supplements on the market which can increase the volume of a man's ejaculate. To clarify, this was not for infertility reasons, it was more for, let's say. . . . artistic/decorative intentions.
3. Shaving one's genitals with the intent to impress women can backfire in numerous ways. Shockingly, few women become aroused when seeing that your junk is afflicted with folliculitis, abscesses, and/or the widespread autoinoculation of genital warts throughout your the nether-regions that was spread from your filthy HPV-laden shaver.
4. Ditto from above post: "When your buddy is bitten by a rattlesnake, you think doc needs the snake. Chase and kill snake, bring snake to BAS. Get treated for your snakebite first since you were bitten trying to help. Be shocked that doc thinks you are a dip****."
5. Marine: "Doc, when I'm doing like 300 lbs on the overhead press, my shoulder pops."
Me: "Ok, stop doing it then."
Marine: "Wait. . . . what?"
6. When you're in Iraq and super bored, the spectacle of tossing a live camel spider and live scorpion into a cage together can draw a surprisingly large crowd.
7. When you live with a roommate in close quarters and you wake up with a morning erection and you're embarrassed for your roommate to see it, there are better alternatives than bending your penis to try to force the blood out and make the erection go away. . . . if you bend it far enough, it can fracture. The resulting surgical repair is not pretty.
8. Pilonidal cysts and Marines seem to go together like peas and carrots.
9. Despite all their crazy antics, we're incredibly luck to have the Marines out there kickin' serious tail.
