trudge on through the sludge or leave?

[DazedNConfuseMD]

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I am posting this question here because I would like opinions from those already out of medical school.

I just finished second year. I got passes in all my classes and was not doing superbly on practice Step 1's (around 210). I am burned out, anxious 24/7, and I think I developed some sort of a binge eating disorder during my Step 1 prep time. In other words - completely miserable.

I am already 200K in debt and about to take out $85k x2 for 3rd and 4th year bringing the grand total to about 360-380K. I am starting to wonder whether I should continue. Am I already in too deep with 200k in debt? Does it get better at all once you at least get a pay check?

Does the crazy studying end during residency or do you always feel shackled? I other words do these exams ever end?

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

I am posting this question here because I would like opinions from those already out of medical school.

I just finished second year. I got passes in all my classes and was not doing superbly on practice Step 1's (around 210). I am burned out, anxious 24/7, and I think I developed some sort of a binge eating disorder during my Step 1 prep time. In other words - completely miserable.

I am already 200K in debt and about to take out $85k x2 for 3rd and 4th year bringing the grand total to about 360-380K. I am starting to wonder whether I should continue. Am I already in too deep with 200k in debt? Does it get better at all once you at least get a pay check?

Does the crazy studying end during residency or do you always feel shackled? I other words do these exams ever end?

Most people, myself included, had this time of year as the lowest point. You've done 2 years of mind-breaking studying with no real doctoring. Its quite the downer.

Give 3rd year a chance. At that point you'll start to get a feel for what being a doctor is like. Your schedule won't be easy, but it'll be different and that counts for a lot.

 

[J-Rad]

This isn't really a residency topic. Those out of medical school can and will answer these types of questions in the MS fora. Moving.

 

[MilkmanAl]

I'd continue the sludge trudge. 3rd year is worlds better than the first two, for sure. **** the basic sciences. Those were essentially lost years, as far as I'm concerned. You're likely not going to enjoy all of third year, but most of it is applicable or at least cool to see. You've already done the really crappy part, so you might as well finish.

As for the studying, that mostly ended with Step 1 for me. I have put very little work in for most of my rotations this year outside of what's required of me during the day and have done above-average.

 

[OveractiveBrain]

Most people, myself included, had this time of year as the lowest point. You've done 2 years of mind-breaking studying with no real doctoring. Its quite the downer.

Give 3rd year a chance. At that point you'll start to get a feel for what being a doctor is like. Your schedule won't be easy, but it'll be different and that counts for a lot.

I am one of the calmest people in the world. I run a code like its my job. I don't cry at funerals. I am a cold heartless bastard.

Step 1 study time I developed paroxysmal attacks of hypertension (like in the 160s), basically panic attacks, gained 30 lbs, and hated everyone and everything. I went on to give people advice who were applying to medical school to bail. I can safely say that it was the WORST point in my life. Not exaggerating. In my life. Never have I felt so down, so miserable, so unhealthy, so angry, so hopeless.

I ended up with a 248 (after 9 weeks dedicated, a Kaplan course and two Qbanks). Not worth the time I spent.

Now, I am literally the happiest resident. I LOVED third year. Even though I got pounded on Surgery, raped in OB, and spent 30 hrs in a hospital at a time on medicine (you won't have to do this), I was literally the happiest person on the planet. Fourth year is better. Then, when you're in charge, actually making decisions, signing orders, doing real work. WHAM. Awesome.

Its a long, hard road, full of **** and spit. It is totally worth it at the end of that road.

 

[VoiceofReason]

you are burned out on your current responsibilities, but do any of the specialties get you excited thinking about practicing them one day?

if so i'd say stick it out

 

[Jolie South]

Keep on keepin' on. For real, it gets better in the clinical years. Really you only have to make it through one more year of hard work, then 4th year is a breeze.

Think about the specialties you might be interested in, keep an open mind, and take opportunities to learn from your patients regardless of the service that you're on. Solving a concrete problem is much better than thinking about all the hypotheticals and MCQs of 1st and 2nd year.

 

[peppy]

It's worth it in the long run. I am a psych resident now and pretty happy most of the time (yes, there are bad days and bad rotations but if you pick the right specialty and end up in the right residency program, even internship isn't really that bad).
Hang in there. If it were easy then everyone would do it!

 

[boggvir]

A neurologist I spoke with said that step I was the worst time of life and he was depressed with all the studying and it got worse and almost quit after he failed step I. Ten years later he is practicing and loves his job and is very very happy he stuck it out.

 

[DazedNConfuseMD]

I am one of the calmest people in the world. I run a code like its my job. I don't cry at funerals. I am a cold heartless bastard.

Step 1 study time I developed paroxysmal attacks of hypertension (like in the 160s), basically panic attacks, gained 30 lbs, and hated everyone and everything. I went on to give people advice who were applying to medical school to bail. I can safely say that it was the WORST point in my life. Not exaggerating. In my life. Never have I felt so down, so miserable, so unhealthy, so angry, so hopeless.

I ended up with a 248 (after 9 weeks dedicated, a Kaplan course and two Qbanks). Not worth the time I spent.

Now, I am literally the happiest resident. I LOVED third year. Even though I got pounded on Surgery, raped in OB, and spent 30 hrs in a hospital at a time on medicine (you won't have to do this), I was literally the happiest person on the planet. Fourth year is better. Then, when you're in charge, actually making decisions, signing orders, doing real work. WHAM. Awesome.

Its a long, hard road, full of **** and spit. It is totally worth it at the end of that road.

👍

Amazing post.

Thanks for all your replies. I'm sure at the end...the far, far, far end it is all worth it in the end. It's a long route and really discouraging at times, especially when you see your friends getting married, buying houses, having kids, getting established in their careers....and you're still in school, digging yourself into a hole - a large 400K hole from which you only hope ot have the means to dig yourself out of.

 

[ar2388]

yeah... my best friends are in insurance or web design or finance...sure they may work form 9am to 7pm everyday but then they go home and get dressed and go out drinking and partying and to dance classes and are getting engaged and can actually afford the rings and nice clothes and shoes... and yet here i am, as old as they, digging myself into the debt hole, spending money that i dont really have, making my credit cards unhappy, and hating everyone and everything quite often.. i do hope 3rd year will be better.
i do agree that step 1 study time was just about the most miserable time ever. only thing that came close was studying for our renal+GI pathophys/pharm exam...

 

[MedChic]

yeah... my best friends are in insurance or web design or finance...sure they may work form 9am to 7pm everyday but then they go home and get dressed and go out drinking and partying and to dance classes and are getting engaged and can actually afford the rings and nice clothes and shoes... and yet here i am, as old as they, digging myself into the debt hole, spending money that i dont really have, making my credit cards unhappy, and hating everyone and everything quite often.. i do hope 3rd year will be better.
i do agree that step 1 study time was just about the most miserable time ever. only thing that came close was studying for our renal+GI pathophys/pharm exam...

I feel this way exactly sometimes. Sometimes I don't know why I keep going, but I guess the positives do outweigh the negatives in the long run. (I hope!!) Just trying to keep the big picture in mind. In the end I always come back to it and sometimes that's the only thing that makes it worth it.

But yea, I had a life once too (and I also miss my dance classes!). But hey, if life is all about energy, we have to get back what we put in sometime right?!

 

[ucsfstudents]

Keep going. Step 1 prep is all around painful. For many people, it is not an indicator of how much you'll enjoy the rest of medical school.