Trying to get in with a significant other. Advice?

[curiouspredoc]

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I am a junior in college, along with my boyfriend and we are both trying to get in to medical school together somewhere. We don't plan on getting married before med school, since neither of us has the funds to, but we are in it for the long haul and want to stick together. He can get in anywhere he wants for the most part, and I will have a 3.5 gpa with probably around a 30 mcat. Any advice you can give would be great, along with things that we could put on our application that would increase chances of getting in to the same schools. (we have residencies in different states). Thanks so much!

 

[cwwm]

sorry, nothing that you will put on your applications will affect both of your acceptances. my advice is match up your schools as best as possible and hope that one of them accepts both of you. You can also live in the same are together but go to different med schools (i.e. you go to GW and he'll go to Georgetown)

 

[venacontracta]

If this is your #1 priority, you should make sure you both apply to all the schools that are located in medical school-dense areas. For example, there are 4 MD schools in Manhattan and 6 in NYC as a whole. There are 4 MD schools in Philadelphia. This will maximize the chance that you will both get into schools in the same city.

 

[wanderer]

Any chance you can get a few more points on the MCAT? A 3.5/30 isn't going to give you a lot of options and will force you to apply broadly.

 

[DoctaFuture]

Maybe try to have similar applications and apply? The best you can really do is apply smart and to the same schools. Overall though, try to get into A med school.

 

[DoctwoB]

I am a junior in college, along with my boyfriend and we are both trying to get in to medical school together somewhere. We don't plan on getting married before med school, since neither of us has the funds to, but we are in it for the long haul and want to stick together. He can get in anywhere he wants for the most part, and I will have a 3.5 gpa with probably around a 30 mcat. Any advice you can give would be great, along with things that we could put on our application that would increase chances of getting in to the same schools. (we have residencies in different states). Thanks so much!

I was in a similar situation and both of us got into a few of the same schools. My advice:

1. Apply to all the same schools (duh)
2. Apply to a LOT of schools
3. Apply to every school with more than 1 school in a city (so you can live together even if not at the same school)
e.g. NYC, Boston, Philly, Chicago, D.C., Los Angeles, etc.
4. Know that regardless of your boyfriend's numbers (even 4.0, 40) and ECs, he will NOT get in everywhere, and if he is that stellar some low tier schools will give him the axe because they think he'd never go there.
5. do NOT tell the schools that you are together until ONE of you is accepted. Then use the leverage of the one person being accepted and explain your situation, and often the result will be an interview or acceptance for another person.

You need to be realistic about your chances though, with a 3.5 and 30 even getting into one medical school is not a sure thing by means. You could consider taking a year off to improve your app and MCAT, while your bf applies to and gets into a school in NYC, Boston, or Philly. They will then want to keep your Bf happy and be more likely to accept you the next year when he explains your situation, so long as you're also a good applicant.

 

[curlytop]

I was in a similar situation and both of us got into a few of the same schools. My advice:

1. Apply to all the same schools (duh)
2. Apply to a LOT of schools
3. Apply to every school with more than 1 school in a city (so you can live together even if not at the same school)
e.g. NYC, Boston, Philly, Chicago, D.C., Los Angeles, etc.
4. Know that regardless of your boyfriend's numbers (even 4.0, 40) and ECs, he will NOT get in everywhere, and if he is that stellar some low tier schools will give him the axe because they think he'd never go there.
5. do NOT tell the schools that you are together until ONE of you is accepted. Then use the leverage of the one person being accepted and explain your situation, and often the result will be an interview or acceptance for another person.

You need to be realistic about your chances though, with a 3.5 and 30 even getting into one medical school is not a sure thing by means. You could consider taking a year off to improve your app and MCAT, while your bf applies to and gets into a school in NYC, Boston, or Philly. They will then want to keep your Bf happy and be more likely to accept you the next year when he explains your situation, so long as you're also a good applicant.

Just out of curiosity, why would medical schools care about keeping their student happy in this aspect of his life? Especially when they're not married. That's awfully nice of them...

 

[Geekchick921]

If this is your #1 priority, you should make sure you both apply to all the schools that are located in medical school-dense areas. For example, there are 4 MD schools in Manhattan and 6 in NYC as a whole. There are 4 MD schools in Philadelphia. This will maximize the chance that you will both get into schools in the same city.

This was going to be my advice as well. Applying to schools in areas with more than one will at least increase your chances of staying in the same city. Philadelphia, NYC/Long Island/North Jersey, Chicago, DC/Baltimore (Hopkins no but maybe UofMD, though I think they have a big IS preference), Miami, FL (2 schools) and Omaha, Nebraska (2 schools), are all places to consider. Boston has 3 or 4 schools but one is Harvard and the other accepts virtually no OOS students, so that's kind of a wash. What state are you two lovebirds in?

There are a lot of schools in/around LA but you guys aren't really competitive for California schools. If you were interested in also applying to DO schools that would help your chances, too.

 

[RogueUnicorn]

This was going to be my advice as well. Applying to schools in areas with more than one will at least increase your chances of staying in the same city. Philadelphia, NYC/Long Island/North Jersey, Chicago, DC/Baltimore (Hopkins no but maybe UofMD, though I think they have a big IS preference), Miami, FL (2 schools) and Omaha, Nebraska (2 schools), are all places to consider. Boston has 3 or 4 schools but one is Harvard and the other accepts virtually no OOS students, so that's kind of a wash. What state are you two lovebirds in?

There are a lot of schools in/around LA but you guys aren't really competitive for California schools. If you were interested in also applying to DO schools that would help your chances, too.

just to clarify, umass is in worcester, about an hour west of the city by freeway. in boston proper there are 3 med schools.

 

[Geekchick921]

Thank you, Bleargh. 🙂 I'm admittedly not sure how competitive or OOS-friendly Tufts and BU are, though, so I have no idea how useful it would be for the OP to consider them, either.

 

[curiouspredoc]

I am from minnesota, he is from wisconsin, both currently juniors at uw-madison.
Thanks for all the help everyone, I truly appreciate it.
And I may be able to get my mcat scores higher, but we'll just have to see.

Another question for you all, is there any way of transferring to a different medical school after the first two years at a different one? That way if we didn't get in similar areas the first time, we could try to transfer after two years? It is a long shot, I know, but I have to find some way to make this work. Thanks again!

 

[RogueUnicorn]

I am from minnesota, he is from wisconsin, both currently juniors at uw-madison.
Thanks for all the help everyone, I truly appreciate it.
And I may be able to get my mcat scores higher, but we'll just have to see.

Another question for you all, is there any way of transferring to a different medical school after the first two years at a different one? That way if we didn't get in similar areas the first time, we could try to transfer after two years? It is a long shot, I know, but I have to find some way to make this work. Thanks again!

virtually impossible. your best bet, as others have mentioned, are areas with multiple med schools, like NYC. one or both of you will likely have to 'settle' for a school that isn't your top choice. are you willing to do that?

 

[omgyou8myrice]

Like others have said, apply to schools in the same area. It would be a tragedy, IMO, for him to have worked so hard and then be dragged down by your mediocre scores (no offense, but there really isn't a softer way to phrase that). Not to mention, a "boyfriend" isn't exactly something you want to plan your life around. It never ceases to amaze me about how "in love" a couple can be one minute in college, and then broken up the next.

 

[RogueUnicorn]

Like others have said, apply to schools in the same area. It would be a tragedy, IMO, for him to have worked so hard and then be dragged down by your mediocre scores (no offense, but there really isn't a softer way to phrase that). Not to mention, a "boyfriend" isn't exactly something you want to plan your life around. It never ceases to amaze me about how "in love" a couple can be one minute in college, and then broken up the next.

hallmark called, i think they were looking for you to write their cards.

 

[omgyou8myrice]

hallmark called, i think they were looking for you to write their cards.

Unfortunately, women would rather have their SO lie through their teeth than tell them the truth. If that wasn't the case, I would write some pretty bomb cards

 

[Geekchick921]

Unfortunately, women would rather have their SO lie through their teeth than tell them the truth. If that wasn't the case, I would write some pretty bomb cards

LOL... no.

 

[afugazzi]

Like others have said, apply to schools in the same area. It would be a tragedy, IMO, for him to have worked so hard and then be dragged down by your mediocre scores (no offense, but there really isn't a softer way to phrase that). Not to mention, a "boyfriend" isn't exactly something you want to plan your life around. It never ceases to amaze me about how "in love" a couple can be one minute in college, and then broken up the next.

This sounds quite harsh but there is some honesty to it. Both of you need to consider how rock solid your relationship is. Perhaps you have been dating 5 years and plan to get married soon, maybe you've been dating 5 months.

If you end up getting into one place in common, you will be lucky. The odds that the school that is independently the best choice for you, and that you get accepted to, will be the same as the school that is the best choice for him are quite low. The most likely situation is that one of you (and perhaps both of you) will have to give something up to stay with the other one. How big what you each have to give up will be will depend on the circumstances (say you only get into two schools: school you love A and school you hate B, and he only gets into two schools: school he loves C and school he hates B; should you both go to B?) You have to ask yourself whether you are at a point in your relationship where it is worth it to make large sacrifices to be with the other person. If you are not, but you do it anyway, it will breed resentment and, if you then break up, you won't be at the best school for you.

Sorry to be a downer, but you should seriously consider these things.

 

[n3xa]

Unfortunately, women would rather have their SO lie through their teeth than tell them the truth. If that wasn't the case, I would write some pretty bomb cards

Yeah..... no.

 

[nicolemeooow]

Like others have said, apply to schools in the same area. It would be a tragedy, IMO, for him to have worked so hard and then be dragged down by your mediocre scores (no offense, but there really isn't a softer way to phrase that). Not to mention, a "boyfriend" isn't exactly something you want to plan your life around. It never ceases to amaze me about how "in love" a couple can be one minute in college, and then broken up the next.

This sounds quite harsh but there is some honesty to it. Both of you need to consider how rock solid your relationship is. Perhaps you have been dating 5 years and plan to get married soon, maybe you've been dating 5 months.

If you end up getting into one place in common, you will be lucky. The odds that the school that is independently the best choice for you, and that you get accepted to, will be the same as the school that is the best choice for him are quite low. The most likely situation is that one of you (and perhaps both of you) will have to give something up to stay with the other one. How big what you each have to give up will be will depend on the circumstances (say you only get into two schools: school you love A and school you hate B, and he only gets into two schools: school he loves C and school he hates B; should you both go to B?) You have to ask yourself whether you are at a point in your relationship where it is worth it to make large sacrifices to be with the other person. If you are not, but you do it anyway, it will breed resentment and, if you then break up, you won't be at the best school for you.

Sorry to be a downer, but you should seriously consider these things.

Srsly consider what these guys said, and good luck! 🙂

 

[gravitywave]

best case scenario if he really is that well qualified is for you guys to end up in an urban area large enough to have schools appropriate to each of you.

apply very broadly and hope for the best. be prepared for if things don't work out. There will be some compromise at both ends for this to work - and if you get that far, there will be the Couples Match to consider, which is easier in some respects than your situation, but it might help you to learn about it now, so you have an idea of what kinds of sacrifices you both will be making.

it could definitely all work out though - good luck

edit for anecdotes: i know of two couple here that managed to make this plan work - in one of them the lady is two years behind the guy, so they had two years long distance already and two more coming up (unless he matches here for residency.) there's also another woman i know here whose SO is the same year as she is - on the other side of the country. people do make those choices, and they can work.

 

[BooRadley85]

just get married. If you're planning on it anyways and in for the long haul like you say, funds won't matter. You'll soon be up to your eyeballs in student debt. At the very least get "engaged" for the application cycle. Although an engagement isn't necessarily going to get you in to the same schools, it will increase your chances slightly rather than applying as bf/gf.

 

[tabascosauce]

just break up. we are but blades of grass tossed through an uncaring wind

 

[gettheleadout]

just get married. If you're planning on it anyways and in for the long haul like you say, funds won't matter. You'll soon be up to your eyeballs in student debt. At the very least get "engaged" for the application cycle. Although an engagement isn't necessarily going to get you in to the same schools, it will increase your chances slightly rather than applying as bf/gf.

just break up. we are but blades of grass tossed through an uncaring wind

lol @ these two consecutive posts.

 

[hopki099]

You both should also consider waiting a year before applying to strengthen your applications. You GPA would benefit from straight As in upper division courses, and you might want to retake the MCAT if you think you can do significantly better (33+).

You both need to make sure that you have sufficient clinical experiences, non-clinical volunteer experiences, leadership, shadowing, research, etc. to ensure that you both have a complete application that gives you both the maximum number of options. Good LoRs and early applications will benefit you.

Another year to save money for what sounds like will be an expensive application cycle is not a bad idea either.

Out of curiosity, what has your SO done to get in wherever they want?

 

[curiouspredoc]

Wow it never ceases to amaze me how some people can be harsh on these websites.

But I do agree, it would be a tragedy for him to not go where he wants because he has worked his ass off for his 3.98 and other accomplishments. If he gets into the school he wants to go to, well then we'll just make it work, but I was hoping for some advice.

As for the getting married idea. Neither of us has the finances for that, or would want to do that kind of planning at this age. I know some couples are for that, but we aren't and who wants to be even more broke when they go to medical school? It will happen down the road, and yes it is pretty "rock solid" as you wondered earlier.

I am not the type of woman to give up this dream, so getting in the same school or even anywhere close would be fabulous because I just don't want to have to deal with the craziness of the distance we face now, even over summers and such.

Any other advice is welcomed, and seriously, thanks for all the helpful tips so far, I appreciate it.

 

[TACMON]

honestly, if your love is that strong, it won't matter. Maybe one of you will have to choose to go to med school and the other won't. But don't let your career goals get in the way of a happy future...just sayin'

 

[mitchlucker]

Tell him to go where he wants. You go where you want. Med school is a lot harder to plan than UG. I would apply to Philly/NYC schools, there's a lot of variety in those schools.

You love him now, but what happens if you end up going somewhere you hate so you can be with him. All of a sudden love turns into a blamegame and guilt trip.

Do what makes you happy. If you're putting off getting married, your careers are first priorities in your life. Keep it this way until you're willing to put marriage at the front. Same thing with kids. Go where you both want to go, even if they're different places.

 

[hopki099]

I would also recommend you and your SO posting your stats/ECs/school list on the 'What Are My Chances?' forum. This will give you a better idea on where to improve.

 

[wanderer]

I would apply to Philly/NYC schools, there's a lot of variety in those schools.

If go this route make sure you map out distances between cities. I've met people who applied as couples that didnt seem to be aware that NYC is not that far from Valhalla (NYMC), or werent even aware of all the different schools that existed in NYC (since there are a lot for one city). Truth is that NYC schools are very competitive. Only Downstate and Einstein are not super-competitive but even they can be picky (e.g. I didn't get an invite at AECOM, even though I got from MSSM, NYU, Downstate, and Stony Brook).

 

[RogueUnicorn]

If go this route make sure you map out distances between cities. I've met people who applied as couples that didnt seem to be aware that NYC is not that far from Valhalla (NYMC), or werent even aware of all the different schools that existed in NYC (since there are a lot for one city). Truth is that NYC schools are very competitive. Only Downstate and Einstein are not super-competitive but even they can be picky (e.g. I didn't get an invite at AECOM, even though I got from MSSM, NYU, Downstate, and Stony Brook).

NYC and philly have the upside of having DO schools as well though, which really allows both these cities to be attainable to the full spectrum of applicants

 

[Barcu]

If go this route make sure you map out distances between cities. I've met people who applied as couples that didnt seem to be aware that NYC is not that far from Valhalla (NYMC), or werent even aware of all the different schools that existed in NYC (since there are a lot for one city). Truth is that NYC schools are very competitive. Only Downstate and Einstein are not super-competitive but even they can be picky (e.g. I didn't get an invite at AECOM, even though I got from MSSM, NYU, Downstate, and Stony Brook).

Plus, cities on the east coast aren't that far.

Philly is within two hours of New York. DC is not extremely far. Maybe it's just because I'm from the west where major cities are spread apart, but having to travel a couple hours to see an SO doesn't seem like the end of the world. Surely can't do it every day, but seeing them pretty frequently would be possible.

Between looking in specific cities, or cities that are close (within a couple hours), you should be able to find plenty of schools.

 

[wanderer]

NYC and philly have the upside of having DO schools as well though, which really allows both these cities to be attainable to the full spectrum of applicants

Yea NYCOM and PCOM seem to be solid DO schools.

Plus, cities on the east coast aren't that far.

Philly is within two hours of New York. DC is not extremely far. Maybe it's just because I'm from the west where major cities are spread apart, but having to travel a couple hours to see an SO doesn't seem like the end of the world. Surely can't do it every day, but seeing them pretty frequently would be possible.

Between looking in specific cities, or cities that are close (within a couple hours), you should be able to find plenty of schools.

Yea I've come across people who go to school in NYC while their SO goes to school in Philly. It's definitely feasible, but not ideal.

 

[LizzyM]

As for the getting married idea. Neither of us has the finances for that, or would want to do that kind of planning at this age. I know some couples are for that, but we aren't and who wants to be even more broke when they go to medical school? It will happen down the road, and yes it is pretty "rock solid" as you wondered earlier.

How much does a marriage license cost?

My advice would be to move and establish residency in whatever state he end up in for medical school. Become "engaged" and apply to his school and any within commuting distance as well as your new state's school (unless it is UMass -- long story). Use your gap year to improve your application. Also improve your gpa during senior year and have it show up on the application (rather than applying at the end of junior year).

Schools like to have a good "yield" which is the proportion of offers that are accepted. Admitting an applicant who has a tie to the school will improve the yield and have the added benefit of pleasing a current student.

 

[RogueUnicorn]

How much does a marriage license cost?

My advice would be to move and establish residency in whatever state he end up in for medical school. Become "engaged" and apply to his school and any within commuting distance as well as your new state's school (unless it is UMass -- long story).

Schools like to have a good "yield" which is the proportion of offers that are accepted. Admitting an applicant who has a tie to the school will improve the yield and have the added benefit of pleasing a current student.

a five year story

 

[Catalystik]

NYC and philly have the upside of having DO schools as well though, which really allows both these cities to be attainable to the full spectrum of applicants

And Chicago MD schools have CCOM in Downers Grove nearby.

 

[RogueUnicorn]

And Chicago MD schools have CCOM in Downers Grove nearby.

oh yes. you'll have to excuse my right-coasted-brainness.

 

[ILikeDrugs]

Am I the only one reading the title of this thread as "Trying to get it in with a significant other. Advice?"?

 

[mitchlucker]

Am I the only one reading the title of this thread as "Trying to get it in with a significant other. Advice?"?

Haha, when I first read the title I read it the same way ...

"Hey guys, my SO and I have been dating for X months and the thing is, we don't have sex and ... "

 

[omgyou8myrice]

Wow it never ceases to amaze me how some people can be harsh on these websites.

But I do agree, it would be a tragedy for him to not go where he wants because he has worked his ass off for his 3.98 and other accomplishments. If he gets into the school he wants to go to, well then we'll just make it work, but I was hoping for some advice.

As for the getting married idea. Neither of us has the finances for that, or would want to do that kind of planning at this age. I know some couples are for that, but we aren't and who wants to be even more broke when they go to medical school? It will happen down the road, and yes it is pretty "rock solid" as you wondered earlier.

I am not the type of woman to give up this dream, so getting in the same school or even anywhere close would be fabulous because I just don't want to have to deal with the craziness of the distance we face now, even over summers and such.

Any other advice is welcomed, and seriously, thanks for all the helpful tips so far, I appreciate it.

I'm not trying to be a gigantic ******* (and trust me, I know that's exactly how I'm coming off since I'm blunt), but it sounds like your bf has worked extremely hard to earn the stats he has, and it'd be a crying shame for him to have to go somewhere he didn't want to go to be with you. Trust me, he'd harbor resentment over it in the long run.

Like I said, apply in an area with several schools. Chicago instantly comes to mind, as does NY. I don't doubt you can both get in somewhere, but wanting him to go to a lesser school for your sake sounds selfish IMO.

 

[Geekchick921]

OP, while one of you in school in DC while the other is in Philly or Philly while the other is in NYC is doable, I did a semester in NYC while my husband (then boyfriend) was still at home in Philly and it was hard. It was far from impossible, but I just missed him too much. I wasn't happy.

Here's all I would suggest. You are both juniors, right? Are you both planning on applying later this year to start medical school in 2012? If so, I would really suggest you start laying out a studying plan for the MCAT and get crackin'. If you could manage a 33+ on it, I think it would do a lot to offset a below average GPA. I'm assuming both of you have decent ECs.

Disclaimer: My comments about where the OP might have a shot are based on solely MCAT and GPA from my 2008-2009 MSAR, which is obviously a little out of date. Also, if I'm missing a school, or someone has a reason why any of these schools are a poor choice (big IS preference or something), please feel free to point it out.

Most of the schools in New York City are pretty competitive, stats-wise. That said, you have a decent shot at NYMC, which as a PP said, is 25 miles north of NYC in Valhalla, NY. There is also SUNY Downstate, in Brooklyn, UMDNJ-NJMS in Newark, and maybe Stony Brook in Long Island, as well as NYCOM and Touro-COM.

In Chicago, there are certainly more competitive schools like Pritzker and Northwestern. And for you, you have a good chance at Rosalind Franklin, Loyola, Rush, CCOM, and maybe University of Illinois Chicago (though they appear to really favor IS students).

I also definitely think you guys should apply to the schools in Philadelphia, where you would have a shot at PCOM, Drexel, Temple and possibly Jefferson, depending on how well you do on the MCAT. There is also UMDNJ-SOM which is New Jersey's Osteopathic school, in South Jersey, and Cooper Medical School of Ryder University is supposed to accept its first class this coming year. It will be in Camden, which is right across the river from Philadelphia.

Also, I would talk to your boyfriend about what schools he's interested in. You never know. Maybe he's interested in a school that's the only one in the area, but it might be a place where your stats are competitive, too. If that's the case for any schools, I would suggest you apply to them.

Also, as others have suggested, if you get engaged, schools may be slightly more inclined to give you an interview, especially if your fiance is already accepted. Schools want to accept students who they think will actually attend the school.

And really, school suggestions aside, it doesn't cost much to just get married by a Justice of the Peace and get a marriage license. A big wedding ceremony and reception is fun and all, but it's also a metric crapton of money and a LOT of stress. There're also a lot of options that fall between a JoP and a massive wedding party. You could have a tiny destination wedding, which doubles as a honeymoon. You could get married in a park or other public venue, or something small at a bed and breakfast, or even a nice restaurant, etc. You won't be any less married than someone that spent $40,000 on a 500-guest shindig at the Hilton.

Good luck.

 

[gravitywave]

given the encouragement OP has gotten to "just get married" (trust me, OP, I know where you're coming from on this), what exactly would the benefit be as regards her situation? Would it really be that meaningful to an adcom to see that they were in fact married as opposed to a committed relationship? then the financial aid situation should be considered: are they likely to gain money or lose it if they each apply with the other on their FAFSA - i'd be inclined to think that it would hurt....

not to bring up the Couples Match again, but NRMP doesn't care what your status is - you can apply to it with your best friend (always got a chuckle out of thinking that was what JD and Turk must have done to end up at the same residency @ Sacred Heart 😀) is impressing med schools really a good reason to have as a tipping point for eloping??

 

[curiouspredoc]

Yes, I agree, and I understand what you mean omgyou8myrice that having him go somewhere just for me would be ridiculous and I would not want that, especially since he probably wants to go to the medical college of wisconsin in milwaukee.

In reality, I will probably apply everywhere, hope to get in to somewhere in the chicago area, and then if not, take a year off and improve my chances by strengthening my application, and then retrying in the chicago area, uw-madison, and medical college of wisconsin. I'm willing to wait the year if it means I can stay close.

And while the marrying thing could possibly help, I'm all for waiting and doing it up big once we have the time and funds years later. From all the advice I think my best shot at getting in for the 2012 class is to kill the mcat.

Thoughts?
Thanks so much everyone, this is super helpful, you have no idea.

 

[Musclemass]

I am a junior in college, along with my boyfriend and we are both trying to get in to medical school together somewhere. We don't plan on getting married before med school, since neither of us has the funds to, but we are in it for the long haul and want to stick together. He can get in anywhere he wants for the most part, and I will have a 3.5 gpa with probably around a 30 mcat. Any advice you can give would be great, along with things that we could put on our application that would increase chances of getting in to the same schools. (we have residencies in different states). Thanks so much!

Why are you accommodating him and he's not accommodating you? If his record is stronger than yours, maybe you should apply first while he waits a year to see where you get in? Or, you bust your gut for the next 4 months to kill the MCAT so that you have more competitive stats?

You say you are trying to get in to medical school together but it doesn't seem like you're doing much to accomplish that. The canoe won't move much if the two people in it don't paddle together. What if he chooses to attend a school in an area that offers no alternatives for you?

It sounds like he's determined to "follow his dream" with or without you and irrespective of your dreams. That's a bad precedent.

 

[hopki099]

Yes, I agree, and I understand what you mean omgyou8myrice that having him go somewhere just for me would be ridiculous and I would not want that, especially since he probably wants to go to the medical college of wisconsin in milwaukee.

In reality, I will probably apply everywhere, hope to get in to somewhere in the chicago area, and then if not, take a year off and improve my chances by strengthening my application, and then retrying in the chicago area, uw-madison, and medical college of wisconsin. I'm willing to wait the year if it means I can stay close.
And while the marrying thing could possibly help, I'm all for waiting and doing it up big once we have the time and funds years later. From all the advice I think my best shot at getting in for the 2012 class is to kill the mcat.

Thoughts?
Thanks so much everyone, this is super helpful, you have no idea.

There is still the lingering possibility that you both apply the next cycle and he gets in somewhere and you do not get in at all. This severely limits your school options and chances because you would want to reapply to the schools in that area.

On the other hand, if he waits for you to get in somewhere first and he follows, he may not get into the same area either, but possibly somewhere nearby, assuming his chances are higher.

You need to figure out what he is willing to do. Would he be happy with MCW over U of Minn if you could only get into the U of Minn? Figure out what you both want and are willing to sacrifice and then apply accordingly.

I would disagree with the people who say that you are 'holding him back' or that you are being selfish. If you both want to be in the same area, then you both need to maximize your chances and applications while making sacrafices. He made need to go to a mid-tier rather than a higher ranked school as a result. If you two are really committed, then that may be something he is more than willing to do.

 

[Geekchick921]

given the encouragement OP has gotten to "just get married" (trust me, OP, I know where you're coming from on this), what exactly would the benefit be as regards her situation? Would it really be that meaningful to an adcom to see that they were in fact married as opposed to a committed relationship? then the financial aid situation should be considered: are they likely to gain money or lose it if they each apply with the other on their FAFSA - i'd be inclined to think that it would hurt....

To the bolded, probably not, which is why I just suggested maybe officially getting engaged if they're that serious. My wedding suggestions were based on her previous comment about not having the finances. Unless their parents foot the bill, they're not going to have the money for a big wedding day for a very long time.

As for the FAFSA, I think it would hurt if one spouse was making a very nice living, but in this case, both of them are students that make next to nothing, so I would assume it won't make much of a difference. Also, being married can help with financial aide if you're what FAFSA would still consider a dependent student otherwise. That said, medical schools don't give half a crap if FAFSA considers you dependent or independent, and require your parents info for need-based aide regardless of age or marital status.

not to bring up the Couples Match again, but NRMP doesn't care what your status is - you can apply to it with your best friend (always got a chuckle out of thinking that was what JD and Turk must have done to end up at the same residency @ Sacred Heart 😀) is impressing med schools really a good reason to have as a tipping point for eloping??

LOL! You're probably right.

 

[curiouspredoc]

He would go to U of Minnesota if we both got in there, definitely. His favorite would be MCW, but is totally willing to go elsewhere. If I were not to get in the first try however, I doubt he'd be able to pass up going to MCW if he got in. Or even passing up an acceptance anywhere if that is the case.

I do feel as though I may be holding him back a bit, because I could end up only getting in somewhere far away from the midwest, where he would enjoy being closer to home, but he has said it would be better closer to each other than being closer to home.

I think the suggestions of trying to apply to the highly populated areas together are great ideas.

 

[Geekchick921]

Regarding your last post, supposedly turning down an acceptance to any US medical school to apply again to go somewhere else can keep you from ever getting accepted again. As such, it's not recommended.

 

[cyanide]

Hey OP, I'm in a similar situation, applying this cycle with a SO. A lot of people have given good advice already (apply broadly; apply to Philly, NYC, Chicago schools; improve your MCAT; etc.) but even if you take all these steps, be prepared for a long application year with lots of waiting and uncertainty. And needless to say, make sure you both apply as early as possible, primary in June and secondaries in July. It helps a ton, especially for the person with weaker stats.

This process sucks doubly applying as a couple, but if all goes well it'll have been worth it. Good luck!

 

[Ursa]

Yes, I agree, and I understand what you mean omgyou8myrice that having him go somewhere just for me would be ridiculous and I would not want that, especially since he probably wants to go to the medical college of wisconsin in milwaukee.

In reality, I will probably apply everywhere, hope to get in to somewhere in the chicago area, and then if not, take a year off and improve my chances by strengthening my application, and then retrying in the chicago area, uw-madison, and medical college of wisconsin. I'm willing to wait the year if it means I can stay close.

And while the marrying thing could possibly help, I'm all for waiting and doing it up big once we have the time and funds years later. From all the advice I think my best shot at getting in for the 2012 class is to kill the mcat.

Thoughts?
Thanks so much everyone, this is super helpful, you have no idea.

This. First of all, you will never have more time than now, as an undergrad. You just get busier and busier. Second of all, you won't have funds for about 8 years, so I hope you guys aren't in any hurry. But, I know that right now it's not about the time or money, really. It's about whether or not you will be in the same location after college. It would suck to get married and then be forced to live apart.