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Unique Situation or not???

Discussion in 'Medical Students - DO' started by DOnut, Jan 9, 2002.

  1. DOnut

    DOnut Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    Dec 17, 2001
    New Orleans, LA
    I was wondering if there is anybody who has had a similar situation. I am a 25-year-old student who is worried about having babies at a late age. By the time I finish residency, I will be 33. I have read all of the past comments regarding students who have had children in medical school and making it with hard work. The unique aspect to my situation is that my husband is also in medical school. The vast majority of medical students with children have a spouse working. The other issue is that we are nowhere near either of our families. Does anyone else have a similar situation. I would love to hear your perspective.
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  3. Jill

    Jill Junior Member

    Jan 3, 2002
    Congratulations on making the decision to go - that is the first big step - maybe the biggest!

    I am just like you - except not married - I am 25, finishing at 33, and during all of my postbcc experience the hardest course I had was figuring out my future and what I finally realized is that I can't and I exhaust myself trying.

    I think about it all the time, but I take comfort in believing when things happen they happen for a reason.

    Feel free to drop an email if you want to talk more - I am new to message boards so I feel funny offering advice or sharing info - I don't want to sound opinionated or preechy, but I'd love to chat more if you'd like.
  4. Kadyra

    Kadyra Will drive for music. 7+ Year Member

    Nov 22, 2001
    Glendale, AZ
    I worry about this too. I am 23 and starting med school next year and if I want to pursue surgery, I'm looking at 34 when my life would calm down a bit to allow me to have a family. I'm not in a relationship right now, but I think about this. I mean, I don't want to start having kids late because you have to balance your retirement with their college and there are the added risks of chromosomal conditions.

    I have heard that it's definitely doable to have children while in med school or during the residency, but it very difficult and there is always a big sacrifice of time with them. So it's either have them with risks at an older age or have them now with lots of difficulties. It seems like a no-win situation unless you have a husband with a very light work schedule willing and able to take care of them while you are in school or during residency.
  5. Wifty

    Wifty Eccentrically Silly Moderator Emeritus 7+ Year Member

    Oct 2, 2001
    Jefferson City, MO
    I don't have alot of input on this and firmly believe only you can make this decsion.

    However, there are no guarantees. Hubby and I were going to have kids before I turned 30 because I was afraid of that magic age when all my chromosomes start going to pot! :) But, I am going to be 32 next month...still no pregnancy. You simply can't make your body do what you want, when you want it.

    BUT I am not any less likely right now to have a 'bad' baby. They are pushing the age where it becomes a danger back all the time. The top reproductive specialist in my area that says as long as you are healthy and there aren't other problems, 40 is when they start worrying about increases in chromsome problems.

    In fact, I am not sure that you aren't more likely to have a 'bad' baby during med school due to stress and the chemicals and inability to take great care of yourself...then if you wait til the ancient age of 32. :)

    There is LITTLE difference tween 27 and 32....I still get carded all the time. BUT in your ability to bond with a baby and spend time with a child....there is a HUGE difference tween doing it in med school or waiting til you can set your hours.

    Have a child in the time that is right for you....and the time that will be best for your child. Just wanted to let you know that 32 is not old and that should not be as big a factor in your decsion as other things.

    Good luck!

    Wifty aka Rebecca
  6. Smileyfree

    Smileyfree Member 7+ Year Member

    Dec 16, 2001
    New York
    I am in a similar boat as well. I am now 26, I will be 27 when I begin my med school career in August. :eek: So what is that... that is really old to be getting done with residency... that's what that is!! :eek: I am not married; however I am with the man who will be my future husband and he is beginning med school this year as well... at the age of 28. I too am worried about the family thing, but I have faith and believe that it will all happen when the time is right. And when that time comes I trust that I will be ready. It will all fall into place... you'll see. Good Luck with all you do!! :D

    "We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can fly by embracing eachother"
  7. DOnut

    DOnut Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    Dec 17, 2001
    New Orleans, LA
    Thanks everyone for all of your input. It's nice knowing that there are other people that are in the same situation. It is really difficult to not think about it at all, but if you REALLY want both (to be a doctor AND have babies) you just have to sort of 'fit' them in when you can. One more question though.....has anyone ever heard of people having trouble balancing the start of their careers after residency with child raising? Well, I guess there's really no 'perfect' time, but I don't know.

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