unsanitary roommates?

[Quynh2007]

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[FutureNobel]

Put up with it -- or, drop a dookie in there and don't flush.

 

[4 Ever]

i think thats terrible advice.

if you have to live with someone, you shouldn't have to deal with them on their terms. talk to the roommate and explain that things need to be cleaner and maybe things will. if u have to share a bathroom, and its as bad as you say, u have another year to go so why deal with it. Hes not the only one paying rent

but i would only bring up the bathroom issue for now. listing all the annoying things or concerns will really offend the roommate (moreso than mentioning his filthiness)

 

[Tiki]

I think it depends on whether or not your boyfriend is using the bathroom. If it isn't his bathroom, then he should keep his mouth shut. If they share that bathroom, then by all means speak up.

 

[Discobolus]

If they share the bathroom why doesn't he clean it? If they don't share it he needs to chill, but based on the quote below I don't think that is going to happen.

but the notion that that bathroom is only little bit away from where he sleeps, its a little disturbing

 

[phoenixsupra]

I bet half the mess is your BF's. Maybe he's just passing the buck cuz he doesn't want you to think he's disgusting. 😉 🙂

 

[RustNeverSleeps]

i think thats terrible advice.

if you have to live with someone, you shouldn't have to deal with them on their terms. talk to the roommate and explain that things need to be cleaner and maybe things will. if u have to share a bathroom, and its as bad as you say, u have another year to go so why deal with it. Hes not the only one paying rent

but i would only bring up the bathroom issue for now. listing all the annoying things or concerns will really offend the roommate (moreso than mentioning his filthiness)

I could be wrong, but from reading the original post, I was under the impression that the dirty bathroom was the roommate's and the roommate's alone. Also, it is hard to tell who is bothered more by the uncleanliness, the roommate or the girlfriend (OP, who I don't believe actually lives there). I personally wouldn't tell my boyfriend's roommate to clean his own bathroom (or make my boyfriend tell the roomate on my behalf). That would just give his friends a reason to label me as an interfering, demanding, etc. girlfriend.

My advice would be, as long as the disgusting mess is confined to his bathroom -- for instance, there is not an overpowering smell throughout the apartment or moldy dishes piling up in the sink -- to let it go for now. Your boyfriend can talk to the roommate if he wants to, but I don't think that you should get involved. You stay there as a guest and probably don't pay rent, therefore you probably should not be placing demands about how the place is run. Also, you don't know if you do anything that drives your bf's roommates crazy (for instance, such as a girl I know who controlled the remote at her bf's house and would not let him or his roommates watch football!). If you do have any habits that bother the roommates, doing something that could be construed as interfering or demanding is probably a particularly bad idea. 😛

 

[4 Ever]

now that you mention it Rust, you're right. it doesn't seem to be that they're sharing the bathroom at all.

if thats the case, the OP or OP's bf shouldn't say anything to the roommate. i sure wouldn't want to be told by my roommate to clean up my room. its not his/her place to do so. its one thing if the area is common space but not so if its my own room or bathroom

 

[Quynh2007]

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[phoenixsupra]

Yes, unkemptness is a word. Yes, he "should" be more sanitary if he's gonna be a doctor. No, he won't change unless "someone" brings it up to him. But I have to say changing someones behaviour is not a trivial matter. Has anyone tried at leas hinting? Does it go over his head or does he get really defensive?

 

[4 Ever]

if the owner lives in the place, he of all people should be able to say something - just say "hey, clean up your bathroom - im the landlord and ure going to ruin my property value by acting the way you do"

theres plenty of things the owner could do or say to control this guy

 

[Paws]

How about something like: "whoa, dude! are you growing things in that bathroom?" or some similar kind of 'joke'. I find it can be easier to let people know there's something not quite right by making a kind of joke out of it, then laughing or giving them a friendly arm punch or rib tickle. Depends on the person but you know what I mean.

People definitely hear what you're saying and the joke thing helps them to save face, and lets them off a little bit.

 

[phoenixsupra]

Yeah, or if it's among guys, something like "Chriiist, you fu<king stink" is generally acceptable. That's where I'd start. 😉

 

[slickrikk]

should one confront a roommate that is unsanitary? One of my boyfriend's roommate has the nastiest bathrooms. When I or my bf has had to turn off the lights in his room, we always see the bathroom, the toilet has black gunck rims in the bowl, and the sink is always dirty. He doesn't want to say anything to this roommate because he is paying his rent and everything, but the notion that that bathroom is only little bit away from where he sleeps, its a little disturbing, and he always thinks about what his roommate touches - like plates and common things like that. It's just really disgusting, but should he confront his roommate or should he just put up with it? thanks for your help

do u pay any rent or contribute in any way to this apartment?

u are a roomate's girlfriend, right? do u even live there?

if not, you have no say

peace

 

[Quynh2007]

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[Tiki]

No offense but you should still keep your mouth shut. His room is not your concern. If the landlord wants to say something, then he has the right. You don't and neither does your boyfriend.