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Hi
Can someone take a look on my revised essay? Thanks.
Benefit not from the illness of man was a premise upon which my grandfather based his practice of traditional medicine. A farmer by trade, medicine was his calling a sort of hobby. Never charging anyone for his services, he believed that the herbs he used (roots, leaves, tree-barks and stems) were Gods gift to humanity and the knowledge of his traditional medicine was a divine favor. Throughout my life I wrestled with this complex conflict, which was a personal proverb of mine as I grew up, surrounded by traditional medicinal healers. The answer to my dilemma began to slowly unravel as I became the patient and not the observer. I became interested in medicine during childhood due to a series of unfortunate events and it dawned upon me that physicians, western or traditional, meet most people as patients: sick, injured, unhappy and vulnerable people in need of help. What concerned me was that physicians in the western hemisphere are immeasurably rich compared to their traditional counterparts and hence that notion conflicted with my grandfathers syllogism.
Being born and raised in Houston, I have always asked how one practices medicine here without benefiting from mans illness. This was my predicament until about four and half years ago when I became severely ill. The intense and excruciating pain radiating through my body was unbearable. I ended up in a local hospitals emergency room and in an instant I became a patient, a sick, injured, unhappy and vulnerable person in need of help. I was no longer an observer or an outsider looking in. I was an insider and the reason for action. I was made comfortable and later cured. After my experience in the hospital, I became interested in gynecology and did some research on ovarian cysts, the cause of my illness. I experienced how it felt to be a patient and would like to become as competent as Dr. Nosaville, my physician, because his knowledge and compassion gave me confidence that I would recover completely.
My personal experience only partially provided the resolution to my original problem; it was not until I witnessed my sister in a hospital bed that I discovered that the answer laid right in front of my eyes. She was found under a bus with fractures from her right femur through four ribs to the radius and right ulna. Again, we ended up in the hospital where my little sister was transformed to a patient, a sick, injured, unhappy and vulnerable person in acute need of help. Once again, I was an insider. Metallic pins, plates and needles were used to mend her broken frame. As I witnessed the kindhearted doctors repair the broken pieces of my sisters body, it provided inspiration to me that I could also do the same for other injured patients.
During my undergraduate studies at the University of Houston, I volunteered at Ben Taub Hospital in the labor and delivery unit. I can recall assisting the physician by acting as a labor coach to encourage Marie, the patient, to push as hard as she could because several hours had elapsed and the doctor was suggesting a C-section. As I supported Marie throughout her entire labor it dawned upon me what a difference I could really make in someones life.
In my junior year, I also shadowed a primary care physician in my area, Dr. John Mohney, where I was humbled by his selfless determination to treat the homeless, poor immigrants and citizens without health insurance coverage. This physician risked his life to treat his patients (some with H.I.V and other communicable diseases) knowing the consequences of any mistakes. I was touched and impressed by the passion of Dr. Mohney and his intense commitment to saving lives. These are the same characteristics I would like to demonstrate, because the real reward is making a difference in peoples lives.
Through my various experiences, I came to terms with my grandfathers paradox. My grandfather treated each person who sought his aid with care and compassion just as was exemplified by Dr. Mohney and the physicians at Ben Taub Hospital, but his maxim was misdirected. Physicians expose themselves to the same sicknesses being treated; hence, any remuneration received during their services may never be equated to their invaluable sacrifice and love for life and well being of humanity. I am fortunate to be able to have a philosophy, which incorporates both influences, my grandfather and Western physicians. I believe that if we commit ourselves to practice medicine we should work with other healthcare professionals as a team to save priceless lives. The medical profession is not only a noble profession but also a humbling calling for the compassionate and tenderhearted with strong ethics to render altruistic services to the sick. My cultural background, upbringing, and personal experience as a patient has worked together to engender in me a genuine compassion for the sick, in particular, and empathy for human suffering in general. As a medical doctor I will not see in any patient anything but a fellow human being in pain, and will execute my lofty responsibility of relieving the pain and doing good.
Can someone take a look on my revised essay? Thanks.
Benefit not from the illness of man was a premise upon which my grandfather based his practice of traditional medicine. A farmer by trade, medicine was his calling a sort of hobby. Never charging anyone for his services, he believed that the herbs he used (roots, leaves, tree-barks and stems) were Gods gift to humanity and the knowledge of his traditional medicine was a divine favor. Throughout my life I wrestled with this complex conflict, which was a personal proverb of mine as I grew up, surrounded by traditional medicinal healers. The answer to my dilemma began to slowly unravel as I became the patient and not the observer. I became interested in medicine during childhood due to a series of unfortunate events and it dawned upon me that physicians, western or traditional, meet most people as patients: sick, injured, unhappy and vulnerable people in need of help. What concerned me was that physicians in the western hemisphere are immeasurably rich compared to their traditional counterparts and hence that notion conflicted with my grandfathers syllogism.
Being born and raised in Houston, I have always asked how one practices medicine here without benefiting from mans illness. This was my predicament until about four and half years ago when I became severely ill. The intense and excruciating pain radiating through my body was unbearable. I ended up in a local hospitals emergency room and in an instant I became a patient, a sick, injured, unhappy and vulnerable person in need of help. I was no longer an observer or an outsider looking in. I was an insider and the reason for action. I was made comfortable and later cured. After my experience in the hospital, I became interested in gynecology and did some research on ovarian cysts, the cause of my illness. I experienced how it felt to be a patient and would like to become as competent as Dr. Nosaville, my physician, because his knowledge and compassion gave me confidence that I would recover completely.
My personal experience only partially provided the resolution to my original problem; it was not until I witnessed my sister in a hospital bed that I discovered that the answer laid right in front of my eyes. She was found under a bus with fractures from her right femur through four ribs to the radius and right ulna. Again, we ended up in the hospital where my little sister was transformed to a patient, a sick, injured, unhappy and vulnerable person in acute need of help. Once again, I was an insider. Metallic pins, plates and needles were used to mend her broken frame. As I witnessed the kindhearted doctors repair the broken pieces of my sisters body, it provided inspiration to me that I could also do the same for other injured patients.
During my undergraduate studies at the University of Houston, I volunteered at Ben Taub Hospital in the labor and delivery unit. I can recall assisting the physician by acting as a labor coach to encourage Marie, the patient, to push as hard as she could because several hours had elapsed and the doctor was suggesting a C-section. As I supported Marie throughout her entire labor it dawned upon me what a difference I could really make in someones life.
In my junior year, I also shadowed a primary care physician in my area, Dr. John Mohney, where I was humbled by his selfless determination to treat the homeless, poor immigrants and citizens without health insurance coverage. This physician risked his life to treat his patients (some with H.I.V and other communicable diseases) knowing the consequences of any mistakes. I was touched and impressed by the passion of Dr. Mohney and his intense commitment to saving lives. These are the same characteristics I would like to demonstrate, because the real reward is making a difference in peoples lives.
Through my various experiences, I came to terms with my grandfathers paradox. My grandfather treated each person who sought his aid with care and compassion just as was exemplified by Dr. Mohney and the physicians at Ben Taub Hospital, but his maxim was misdirected. Physicians expose themselves to the same sicknesses being treated; hence, any remuneration received during their services may never be equated to their invaluable sacrifice and love for life and well being of humanity. I am fortunate to be able to have a philosophy, which incorporates both influences, my grandfather and Western physicians. I believe that if we commit ourselves to practice medicine we should work with other healthcare professionals as a team to save priceless lives. The medical profession is not only a noble profession but also a humbling calling for the compassionate and tenderhearted with strong ethics to render altruistic services to the sick. My cultural background, upbringing, and personal experience as a patient has worked together to engender in me a genuine compassion for the sick, in particular, and empathy for human suffering in general. As a medical doctor I will not see in any patient anything but a fellow human being in pain, and will execute my lofty responsibility of relieving the pain and doing good.
