USMLE Score (a cynical view)

[Future GI Guy]

Hey Guys,

I got a 283 on Step I, a 281 on Step II. I'm AOA at Harvard, and I just cured Cancer.

Do you think I can match in Family Practice?

I'm really worried about next year.

Thanks.

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[Future GI Guy]

I forgot to mention, I also have a Commodore 64 (and the original, 1988 box) for sale.

I'm asking 3,000 bucks, or best offer.

 

[Acinetobacter]

I don't know.

Your board scores are pretty good and you'll probably make the screening cutoffs for interview offers. Harvard has a decent reputation. So, you have a shot, but by no means a guarantee at the better FP residencies in the country.

Your cancer research may help you, but only if you can intelligently talk about it during your interview. Anyway, since you've already discovered the cure, you can now work on more meaningful FP research. Maybe a clinical trial comparing the efficacy of different types of cough medicine.

Others may tell you it's impossible to get FP with your scores/credentials, but I think you should follow your dreams. If you love FP, you should apply for FP.

By the way, the atari 400 beats the commodore anyday. and how.

 

[eagle26]

•••quote:••• By the way, the atari 400 beats the commodore anyday. and how. ••••Dammit! And I was hoping that I would get big bucks for my Colecovision stored at my mom's house...with the original pac man cartridge!!! Seriously, I still do have it!

 

[ckent]

Well, I've got to be honest with you here, even though you might not like hearing it. AOA at Harvard with your board scores might not be enough to cut it in a residency like FP. Did you even study at all to get those board scores you got? Sheesh, you really should have taken those USMLEs more seriously. Your research will probably hurt your application in FP, you seem to have forgotten that FPs tend to frown upon research so you might be better off leaving out that whole "cure" thing in your application. I don't know, you can apply and see what happens, but you might want to turn in an application or two to a less competetive residency program like neurosurgery or ophthamology as a back up. Getting into an FP program was a killer last year. Best of luck.

 

[wbd161]

Have you tried your hand being a physician's assistant? I think you should be more realistic with your goals.

 

[Future GI Guy]

Thanks for the words, fellas. You pretty much confirmed what I had feared.

My dean told me that my board scores were "competitive," but I bet he says that to all the medical students. He's kinda like that, you know, mocking our pitiful achievements.

I guess I should probably spend the extra money and enlarge my rank order list to like 60 or 70 FP programs. The thing is, I was really hoping for one of these:

University of Arkansas AHEC program at Pine Bluff

or

West Virginia University Rural Program in Harpers Ferry.

I hate it when pipe dreams don't materialize.

Do you think it would help if I did a prospective, double blinded, placebo controlled comparison of Cetaphil versus Johnson and Johnson Baby Oil for treatment of Dry Skin? If you say yes, I'll immediately contact the IRB for approval...if you don't think so, then I don't know what else I can do.

I think I'm cut out for FP because I really like to hug all of my patients. Surgeons don't do that. Gynecologists don't do that. But FPs do!

Plus, I already know how to prescribe Lasix and Prozac, so that should cover most of my practice.

Any tips? I'm really in a pickle.

 

[Acinetobacter]

I for one find this topic to be quite offensive. The board moderator ought to delete these posts.

Medicine is a serious field. You should not be making fun of any specialty, even your own. It hurts others and it hurts you.

It also appalls me that you make fun of the misfortunate people who had to go to ivy league medical schools. Do you realize that not everyone is lucky enough to go to the state school. I'm one of the lucky ones who go to a state school and I am quite sympathetic to the plight of the ivy league med students.

I also don't find it funny that you make fun of people who score well on boards. I'm one of the lucky ones that scored mean. But we all know that it's impossible for everyone to get a 220. Some people just have a bad day and score >260. It's not their fault and I don't feel that you should make light of this.

Finally, I am sickened by the way you make fun of others' research accomplishments. Sure some students may find cures to chronic diseases. That's easy. Anyone can cure cancer. However, I believe that the real accomplishment lies in your ability to make 2 years of washing glassware and answering the lab phone seem like groundbreaking research during your residency interviews.

Can't we all just get along?

 

[DO/MBA]

I heard that Pine Bluff and Harpers Ferry have spots open at McDonald's Drive thru. I hate to be the one to break it to ya, but you just can't hack the rigors of the medical profession.

 

[wbd161]

We've all heard how competitive FP is these days but one of my buddies called me up to tell me there was this one opening up at the Aleutians. Maybe you can give him a call? Much of his practice revolves around the Inuits but I guess they too might not even give your credentials a second look. Face it bub, even the Inuits have standards.

 

[Whisker Barrel Cortex]

As a family practice resident at WVU Harper's Ferry, I am very offended by this thread.

We would not even think of accepting someone with your pathetic stats!

 

[Hamster]

Hey Hey Hey! No more making light of Future GI Guy's question. I think it warrants careful considertation

Future GI Guy: As far as FP, I am afraid that Harvard reputation won't help you much. Have you taken a look at their 2002 Match list? Here I have a listed it below for you

Specialty/ # of students matching
Derm-100
Ortho-Surg-50
Opth-80
ENT-40
FP- 1

As you can see, I think your decision to go to Harvard was a poor one indeed. But lets not dwell on your past mistakes.

I am going to be honest....I think it is much too late in the game to try and raise your board scores. Your time is best spent doing a couple of externships to work on building your connections at different residency programs that your are interested in. At your externships be sure to work hard! Let them know just who Harvard is! And maybe...just maybe if your application makes the number screen ( must be passing the boards at some places), there will be a spot waiting for you come next March.
May the force be with you.

 

[mcphuguy]

Has anyone noticed that this student's USMLE scores went DOWN from Step I to Step II?? A red flag if I ever saw one...

 

[Future GI Guy]

Sadly, you guys bring up another failure from my past.

Like many of you, I applied to my state school. I didn't get in, though I was "wait listed" in the 160s. I waited througout the whole summer.

Harvard was my "back-up," like it is to most of us here. Unfortunately, I didn't fully appreciate just how difficult it would be to secure a residency spot coming out of that school.

 

[Future GI Guy]

(By the way...for those of you who are reading this and seriously think I'm offensive to FPs...know that I don't honestly think this way. I've never gone to any other physician in my life, and I honestly think the specialty is a noble one. Seriously.)

 

[Sabreman]

I am the new interim Dean of Harvard School of Medicine and Cosmetology, and I have to say I am terribly offended by this thread!!

Sure not all of our students picked us as their "first choice", but we have striven hard to make Harvard as good as any school in the Caribbean! And Harvard is not all about research. Why, just this year one of our med students left the lab for a whole afternoon to watch someone else examine a patient. You can't buy that kind of clinical experience!

 

[theD.O.C.]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by Future GI Guy:
•

Harvard was my "back-up," like it is to most of us here. Unfortunately, I didn't fully appreciate just how difficult it would be to secure a residency spot coming out of that school.•••••Too bad you couldn't have gotten into an elite medical school like Hollywood Upstairs Medical Academy (distinguished alumnusr. Nick of "Simpsons" fame)

 

[tommassieblue]

The joke's on you Future GI Guy. There is no AOA at Harvard. HAHA!!

 

[Whisker Barrel Cortex]

I think it is obvious that Future GI meant that he was a member of the American Opthalmology Association, not the "other" AOA.

 

[dr.evil]

Apparently Acinetobacter is just way too sensitive. Future GI Guy is really in a bind and needs some advice. Relax a little. Sure GI Guy has made some poor choices (i.e. Harvard) and has not quite grasped standardized exams (although I agree that not all of us can score consistently in the low 200s) but you have to understand his situation. If I remember his history, he was born in an exclusive suburb in California to a multibillionaire businessman and a mother who was a supermodel both of whom graduated from Harvard (likely the true reason he was pressured into settling on going to Harvard). So just understand that everyone's situation is different.

Anyway, on with the question.

You just have to remember that there are a lot of people in the exact same situation you are in. Granted, your board scores and grades are nowhere near the average for FP but you can still get into a decent residency if you just put forward a little effort. I know now that you regret the obvious lack of energy and time you put into medical school but you can't go back and change that.

An obvious blunder was the cure for cancer. No program wants someone who is going to decrease the amount of patients coming into the office. Instead, you should have spent more of your time creating a way to prolong diseases so that patients will have to return to the office at least once per week. Possibly discovering another medication that, although helping one illness, will require frequent visits to assure that it's not causing another. Hindsight is of course 20/20 though. But there's still hope. Remember, cures are bad.

So for all those MS1s out there who aren't quite sure how to get that residency, take a little advice. Everyone needs a hug. Give a lot more hugs, 2-3 per day at least. DO NOT learn the 758,00 drugs they teach you in pharmacology. Lasix, Prozac, Glucophage are all you need to know. Of course in the rapidly expanding world of medicine, it seems a 4th drug has entered the field, Vioxx. Pathology only consists of arthritis, diabetes, CHF, and depression. That's all you need to know, and luckily you have the 4 drugs memorized to take care of these illnesses.

Selective learning is key. Definitely something Future GI Guy has never quite grasped but at least he's asking for advice to remedy the situation.

Learn from Future GI Guy's mistakes. Definitely attend a state school (much more opportunity). Apply to at least 70 FP programs. And most importantly, "Brothers gotta hug"

 

[carddr]

:wink: :wink: :wink: You would have done a helluva lot better if you had slept with the ANATOMY Professor...takes a lot of PERSONAL commitment to get through med sch and sometimes you have to LAY everything on the line, at least in your first EXPOSURE to the FLESH folks and from there it's a PIECE of cake...shouldn't have BLOW such an opportunity man! Your SCORE(s) would have been so much better. Don't SCREW up the rest of your APP. Your scores are pathetic...taking time out to cure cancer SUCKS!!! You gotta lot of MAKING-UP to do. IMO, you don't have what IT takes. Carry on.

 

[JS-UNMC]

I don't even know where to begin.... Maybe you can beg for a DO FP residency. But even they are going to be pretty exclusive! If you were still a second year, I would recommend transferring to a DO school. But thats just hind-sight now. Best of luck!

 

[katiep]

Maybe there's still time to apply to law school?

 

[Future GI Guy]

I just received MORE bad news.

Unfortunately, I asked for letters of recommendation from Drs Satcher (ex-surgeon general) and Frist (CT Surgeon turned Tennessee Senator), and they both wrote fine letters. However, I'm not sure of their credentials or respect in the field of medicine.

My applications will be even further weighed down by my "Dr. Salk" letter that I received right before he died. A man cures polio, and (just like the cancer argument) any associations with his name are meaningless.

Should I even include pictures of me and Mother Theresa?

Uggh...I feel like I have to start all over.

Hindsight is 20/20, I guess.

You think I could get a residency in, say, Saudi Arabia, right now? I hear they're really fond of American white boys right now.

Just a thought.

 

[Hamster]

"Should I even include pictures of me and Mother Theresa?"

GI Guy I hate to be the one to inform you, it is of poor taste to ask family members to provide letters of recommendation and even sillier to include pictures of them with your ERAS application.

Though Dr. Satcher is a reputable fellow ( after all he is here at MSM :wink: . Why couldn't you set your sights just a bit higher? Here are a list of some famous physicians that are in a league of their own. Try and contact them ( I know this will be hard with that Harvard Reputation) and see if there is time to do some research

1) Dr. Dre
2) Dr. Seuss
3) Dr. J (Julius Erving)
4) Dr. Who
5) Dr. Bill Cosby
6) Dr. Ruth

you may read all about them and perhaps get some email addresses at <a href="http://www.who2.com/famousdoctors.html" target="_blank">http://www.who2.com/famousdoctors.html</a>

Best of luck

 

[Future GI Guy]

Okay, okay. I extended the joke too far.

The point of this thread is obvious to all of those funny people who replied (except for the smart guy who said "There's no AOA at Harvard." He can suck eggs)

Anyway, that point is, don't go posting crap like "I got such and such on the USMLE. Is that a good score?"

I mean, it's ridiculous. It's like what used to take place on MedSchool.com, and you saw how popular that was when they closed it down.

You should have more self-confidence and not need to brag on SDN for an ego boost. If you need one of those, go to your Dean and ask his opinion. That's why God made girlfriends.

You're going to get a good residency spot, and you know it, so stop faning curiosity when you ask if your application will be competitive.

Anyway, thanks to all the good natured people...I laughed a lot.

 

[jpgreer13]

For those of us who are invisible to the opposite sex, throwing about our USMLE scores is all we have! That, and we secretly think that USMLE scores (especially Step 1, because it shows we have MASTERED all the things you know to be a great doctor, like the Krebs cycle - I bet George Clooney on ER knows the Krebs cycle) will make women lust after us.

Obviously, I need to quit smoking the crack pipe.

 

[sillyputtyglue]

Wait, is smoking crack bad??? I didn't learn that for step I.

 

[sublingual]

If you dont get an FP position, you can always try to become a Physicians Assistant. Great hours, lots of pt contact. Next time find the cure for AIDS, that might get you in.

 

[Winged Scapula]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by sublingual:
•If you dont get an FP position, you can always try to become a Physicians Assistant. Great hours, lots of pt contact•••••...and don't forget the pay. The surgical PAs here make in excess of $90 K per year! Yowza...I had NO idea.

 

[A little elf]

90K a year for tying a few square knots and doing some H+Ps, damn, we all should have taken the easy way out and made some cash...but then again, I probably couldn't have looked at myself in the mirror......

 

[sanford_w/o_son]

bVmp!

l3T chA05 Re1gN!

 

[JakeHarley]

This thread may be the most entertaining thread I've ever read on SDN.

And.....




I'm glad I chose a DO program over Harvard...just to leave all my options open.

 

[whispers]

wait all you did is cure cancer? You didn't make time for community service. This is blasphamy. I don't know you might not match in family. You should join every club possible and start a comunity service project now before applications are due. Wait you might need to take a year off.

Hey Guys,

I got a 283 on Step I, a 281 on Step II. I'm AOA at Harvard, and I just cured Cancer.

Do you think I can match in Family Practice?

I'm really worried about next year.

Thanks.

 

[ForamenMagnumPI]

What is this "Harvard" of which you speak? I am not familiar with it...is it some sort of community college?

 

[Zuwie]

To the OP: Let's be realistic, you'll probably end up in plastic surgery or derm. Just accept your fate.

 

[kaos]

This thread may be the most entertaining thread I've ever read on SDN.

I agree. Best thread since the broken pubococcus.

But after having perused all of the posts, it is clear to me that I have seriously endangered my chances of getting into the top surgery programs in the country by spending so much time on trying to get a >220 on Step 1. I will try much harder to lower my Step 2 score to make up for it. Hopefully a score less than 180 will demonstrate that I have been deeply involved in other areas of my life.