PhD/PsyD Validation

[MiniLop]

My cat is somewhat glutinous and has a tendency to beg for his dinner for at least an hour prior to his standard dinner time (8PM). Lately I've been putting a lot of effort into validating the feelings that underlie this behavior: He's hungry and doesn't understand why I'm not feeding him, it's frustrating to feel like he always has to remind me that it's going to be his dinner time soon, it's confusing for him because he knows I have cat food so why can't he have unlimited access to it, etc. However, he hasn't been all that responsive to my validation and the behavior isn't changing. Am I leaning too hard on the validation side of the validation-change dialectic?

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[erg923]

My cat is somewhat glutinous and has a tendency to beg for his dinner for at least an hour prior to his standard dinner time (8PM). Lately I've been putting a lot of effort into validating the feelings that underlie this behavior: He's hungry and doesn't understand why I'm not feeding him, it's frustrating to feel like he always has to remind me that it's going to be his dinner time soon, it's confusing for him because he knows I have cat food so why can't he have unlimited access to it, etc. However, he hasn't been all that responsive to my validation and the behavior isn't changing. Am I leaning too hard on the validation side of the validation-change dialectic?

I let my cat eat whatever the **** he wants. I think he feels the "validation."

 

[deleted343839]

How do you validate a cat, anyway?

 

[kestrelcry]

How do you validate a cat, anyway?

Chin scratches.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

It’s all about addressing the cat’s cognitive distortions.....

 

[MiniLop]

Well mostly I've been using verbal validation. But now I'm wondering if maybe my cat isn't changing because he isn't motivated to change. Does anyone have any MI experience with cats? Any recommendations?

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

Have you considered a slot machine filled with catnip? Intermittent reinforcement can be quite effective. If utilized correctly, he will forget all about clock watching for food and instead increase his use of the slot machine.


Kitty Glitter can be quite entertaining.

 

[foreverbull]

Ah, the joys of operant conditioning!
Cats are conditioned to know exactly when they'll get fed and they're pretty intelligent; yours seems to think that begging prior will make a difference. Did you ever reinforce your cat's begging behavior by feeding him early, even just once or twice? If so, that's why he's trying so hard.

My spouse fed our cat a few licks of whatever sauce we had in our dinner just a few times and now she begs when we eat all the time. That's all it takes; intermittent reinforcement to increase begging behavior. Just make sure you stick to the feeding schedule and don't reinforce the begging somehow via attention or praise or feeding him. If you ignore it, eventually he would hopefully stop via extinction.

 

[deleted343839]

But now I'm wondering if maybe my cat isn't changing because he isn't motivated to change. Does anyone have any MI experience with cats? Any recommendations?

Refractory to MI. Consider a dog.

 

[smalltownpsych]

It sounds like an oral fixation. Maybe his mama cat was cold and distant. Maybe some reparenting strategies along with some cathartic expressions of pent-up hostility. Don’t even try behaviorism, that stuff won’t work on cats. They’ll see right through it. My wife had a cat that was an emotional binge eater and purger. I’m not even kidding about that one either. He really would get upset or annoyed, head to the food and gorge himself and then throw up a few minutes later. I didn’t even try to treat him and just blamed my wife since she raised him.

 

[MiniLop]

It sounds like an oral fixation. Maybe his mama cat was cold and distant. Maybe some reparenting strategies along with some cathartic expressions of pent-up hostility. Don’t even try behaviorism, that stuff won’t work on cats. They’ll see right through it. My wife had a cat that was an emotional binge eater and purger. I’m not even kidding about that one either. He really would get upset or annoyed, head to the food and gorge himself and then throw up a few minutes later. I didn’t even try to treat him and just blamed my wife since she raised him.

I think you're really close to hitting the nail on the head here. He needs to re-experience his kittenhood without the trauma of "refrigerator owners." I've also been thinking of doing a chairing exercise; he really needs to start communicating with the part of himself that seems to be scared that he won't get fed.

But is he strong enough to handle it? He's got a long list of Kitty-DSM diagnoses. I'm almost positive he has feline bipolar with psychotic features. He'll go for days just lazing around the apartment with no interest in playing or toys and then BAM! Several days in a row where he's bouncing off the walls, can't calm down, and seems to be seeing things that no one else can see. He'll stare at little spots in the corner but there's nothing there! He also hates going in his carrier or being hugged too close, so I'm pretty sure he has feline claustrophobia. He's also scared of going outside so he definitely has feline agoraphobia. He gets really upset when my partner and I leave the apartment, so feline separation anxiety disorder seems likely.

I'm definitely not over-pathologizing my cat.

EDIT: He also spends a lot of time doing this bizarre thing where he licks himself. Why does he do that?! He spends hours per days just licking himself in this ritualized way. I'm pretty sure he also has feline OCD. It also supports the oral fixation hypothesis...

 

[Justanothergrad]

I cant provide much help with the cat but I can offer some ideas. I should note that my competency is with dogs. Have you considered throwing a tennis ball for the cat, or perhaps reminding the cat that he is a "gooood boy"?

 

[MCParent]

These are all wonderful suggestions to help you feel better, but my approach will help you get better.

It's clear that you follow up the completely sane thought, "my cat is annoying" with the thoroughly INsane thought, "and beCAUSE my cat is annoying, it means that he is an awful and terrible kitty, and I am a total failure as an owner!" It is this second, INsane thought that causes your problems. Similarly, the cat has the thoroughly sane thought, "meow meow meow food now meow serve your master meow meow," and follows it up with the thought "and beCAUSE I am not being fed now, I NEVER will be fed again meow meow meow meow one sec I need to lick my butthole meow meow." It is only by work and practice and work and practice that you will begin to see a fundamental philosophical change toward a more rational way of being.

 

[cara susanna]

I would conduct a chain analysis on this "begging" behavior.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I would want some objective assessment done to really get to the bottom of things....but only if there are SVTs / PVTs because you never know if the cat has been coached.

 

[MAClinician]

It's clear that you follow up the completely sane thought, "my cat is annoying" with the thoroughly INsane thought, "and beCAUSE my cat is annoying, it means that he is an awful and terrible kitty, and I am a total failure as an owner!" It is this second, INsane thought that causes your problems. Similarly, the cat has the thoroughly sane thought, "meow meow meow food now meow serve your master meow meow," and follows it up with the thought "and beCAUSE I am not being fed now, I NEVER will be fed again meow meow meow meow one sec I need to lick my butthole meow meow." It is only by work and practice and work and practice that you will begin to see a fundamental philosophical change toward a more rational way of being.

Are you a cat psychic in your spare time? MCParent, Cat Whisperer. Ca$h only. 1-800-now-meow for free 5 minute consultation.