Venting about the dreaded Wait List

[Lyn71785]

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So I just found out that as the number one alternate to my top school, I am being strung along (for over a month now) by 3 applicants who are all holding more than one offer. One applicant is holding three offers! 👎 Does anyone else feel that this is a little excessive? I know that this has been discussed excessively on another thread, but I just needed a place to air my frustration. Anyone else in the same boat? Feel free to vent here as well. Anyone wanna give me some ideas on things ot take my mind of this awful, awful waiting? I mean a month now, c'mon. 😡

 

[Anticip]

here here! I am in that exact boat, and I empathize/commiserate completely. So far, I haven't really found many good ways to deal with it. Patience has never been one of my virtues, but I am trying to be sympathetic regarding the people taking a long time to make decisions and holding multiple offers; they are making very big decisions. I will consider this a character-building excercise. Unless I don't get in... then I'll just be sad.

 

[psychwanabe]

I know, I know!!! I have been told I'm "very" high (I assume that means next in line) at my top choice, and that was about a month ago!! I am holding one offer myself - low on my list but at least it's something, and I can't turn it down until I know whether or not I'll get an offer at my top choice.

There is no way to cope with this stress. I just want to get on with my life, and know where I'm going. I certainly understand why people need to know what their choices are before they decide, and I also realize that some of THOSE people are on waiting lists for their top choices, but this is insane! 😱

It's funny that you put this post here when you did because I'm having a bad day. I am just so discouraged and tired of waiting. I was thinking of adding a thread like this but I figured nobody wanted to hear it. 😳 Thanks for the space to vent.

...end of whining session .

 

[Lyn71785]

That's exactly my situation. Holding one offer at a decent place but waiting to hear back from a school that seems pretty ideal for me. And I just feel terrible because I know there are two alternates anxiously waiting for my spot that I'm holding -- and their holding their own offers! So basically there's an endless list of people who will FINALLY accept an offer once I can make a decision. Psychwanabe -- I'm having a really really bad day today too... Hang in there! And if anybody doesn't wanna hear us vent they don't have to read this thread! I think I gave fair warning in the title of the thread.

 

[blindblonde]

I'll add my frustration in here. I was wait listed over a month ago as well for NIU, and I've been e-mailing back every week and slowly getting good news. The first time said that two people took other offers and two other offers were out, so I moved up. The Last e-mail said that I was the first alternate, so I haven't e-mailed her back again until things fall one way or another. I am also wait listed at a master's school back up, and I have yet to be accepted anywhere else. Life just sucks. I swear, the human body and mind is not meant to deal with this prolonged stress. Especially for those of us who have an internal locus of control. UGH.

Additionally, my advisor has offered me to do research starting late May and lasting until late June. With my lack of knowledge on a decision, I have to wait to figure out if I need to go apartment hunting in Atlanta for a year (if I don't get in) or if I have to find somehwere to stay in Atlanta for a month just to do research. I hate that my entire life is on hold until someone else can make a decision.

I know I can't be mad at the person who is waiting to make a decision to accept or not, but it is just a frustrating process to endure. So please, end my misery one way or another.

 

[Aspire2Be]

I can totally empathize! Though at this point, I "very high" on the waitlist on my first choice, which is now my only hope of getting into school this year. So, I'm sitting on the stupid waitlist, (I've taken to calling it my "stay of execution"), and if I don't get in, then that's it. It's so anxiety provoking/frustrating/discouraging.

Grrr...

 

[psychwanabe]

I am right with all of you. And I agree about the prolonged stress: we've all learned about the negative effects - we know what it's doing to us!

The other thing I am struggling with is how much/often to follow up with my POI at the waitlisted school. I am making myself wait until Monday. Then I will email again and see what's what.

I also have another school where I interviewed, was told it was b/t me and one other, and I've heard nothing back. I assume it was offered to the "other," and so I am waitlisted there too...but no one has told me so I'm not sure. After Monday, when I contact school #1, I will know where I stand and then also contact school #2. Then, I'll know if I can let my offer go, or accept it.

You know the bummer of it? The offer that I'm holding is a school where a very good friend of mine is waitlisted. 😱 So now I am responsible for HER torture too!!! I think I will just go hide under the bed. 🙁

 

[Dr.Maybe]

Ah yes, I know a thing or two about waitlists. I was just accepted into a program that I like a lot, so that's eased my stress level considerably. This school's location is perfect, and the people seem great. But the funding is pretty paltry compared to most programs (tuition only, plus a tiny stipend) and it's a newish program so it doesn't have much of a reputation. In contrast, I'm a "high alternate" at two of my top choice programs, both of which are very respected and offer a great stipend. At this point I just really want to know where I'm going!!! I've been tempted to accept the one offer now just to stop the madness. I also sympathize a lot with whoever is waiting on me. But it's got to end soon, right??

 

[Lyn71785]

I'm so happy that in the space of a few hours I have my own mini support group.

 

[psychwanabe]

But it's got to end soon, right??

So they say!! 17 days to go and it will all be over??? ... aaaccckkk!!!

 

[psychwanabe]

I'm so happy that in the space of a few hours I have my own mini support group.

Me too Lyn! It makes a big difference to be able to connect with people who really understand what you are going through, right? 😳

 

[blindblonde]

Yeah, I think my dad is sick of hearing me complain everytime I'm on the phone, "And I still haven't heard anything...I am so sick of this...just let it end....". You know, the ususal.

Seriously, prolonged stress =

 

[Aspire2Be]

Yeah, I think my dad is sick of hearing me complain everytime I'm on the phone, "And I still haven't heard anything...I am so sick of this...just let it end....". You know, the ususal.

Seriously, prolonged stress =

I think everyone I know is sick of hearing these sentiments from me... 😳

 

[neuronerd1]

i feel like i'm going to need my own therapist for trying to become a clinical psychologist . . .

 

[Lyn71785]

I think everyone I know is sick of hearing these sentiments from me... 😳

Tell me about. I preface every conversation I have with "I know you've been listening to me for a month now but..."

So what are you guys all doing to take your mind off it? Or what are you obsessively doing because of nerves? --I'm going through about 8 cans of soda a day, and checking email/SDN every 10 minutes... and way too much sleep (last night = 14 hours)

 

[Lyn71785]

i feel like i'm going to need my own therapist for trying to become a clinical psychologist . . .

Can't deny that I've thought about that myself

 

[RayneeDeigh]

Tell me about. I preface every conversation I have with "I know you've been listening to me for a month now but..."

So what are you guys all doing to take your mind off it? Or what are you obsessively doing because of nerves? --I'm going through about 8 cans of soda a day, and checking email/SDN every 10 minutes... and way too much sleep (last night = 14 hours)

You're all going to think I'm nuts now, but to calm my nerves I took up a new hobby. Making creatures out of socks. http://www.stupidcreatures.com I bought his book and I've made 8 of them so far.

 

[Aspire2Be]

Tell me about. I preface every conversation I have with "I know you've been listening to me for a month now but..."

So what are you guys all doing to take your mind off it? Or what are you obsessively doing because of nerves? --I'm going through about 8 cans of soda a day, and checking email/SDN every 10 minutes... and way too much sleep (last night = 14 hours)

Well.... on top of all this, I'm in the process of planning my wedding, which will take place two weeks before school would start! So basically, to keep from being stressed about school, I stress about my wedding!!! So, yes, I'm a joy to be around, as you might imagine!

Other than that, I too check SDN every 10 minutes, I watch mindlless TV recorded on my tivo, and work far too many hours. What I need is a VACATION!!! 😴

 

[Aspire2Be]

You're all going to think I'm nuts now, but to calm my nerves I took up a new hobby. Making creatures out of socks. http://www.stupidcreatures.com I bought his book and I've made 8 of them so far.

Not to sound like a weirdo or anything...

... the fact that you make sock creatures totally makes me want to be your friend! Seriously, I'm a total craft nerd!

 

[Lyn71785]

You're all going to think I'm nuts now, but to calm my nerves I took up a new hobby. Making creatures out of socks. http://www.stupidcreatures.com I bought his book and I've made 8 of them so far.

That's pretty cute... I'm not gonna lie. And it's a lot healthier than chain-smoking (guilty here).

On another note, this thread has been mildly therapeutic as evidenced by my 6 posts in 5 hours. 🙄

 

[RayneeDeigh]

Not to sound like a weirdo or anything...

... the fact that you make sock creatures totally makes me want to be your friend! Seriously, I'm a total craft nerd!

Well congrats on your wedding, first of all!

It's SUPER easy to do, and I think I got the book for $10 or something. I'm the least domestic person ever so this has to be the easiest craft ever made.

My goal is to make 100 of them by the end of the summer and then take them to the children's hospital.

 

[Aspire2Be]

Well congrats on your wedding, first of all!

It's SUPER easy to do, and I think I got the book for $10 or something. I'm the least domestic person ever so this has to be the easiest craft ever made.

My goal is to make 100 of them by the end of the summer and then take them to the children's hospital.

Thanks for the congrats 🙂 I can't believe it's so soon, now.... too much to do!

Sounds like a great idea with the creatures... 100, huh? that's quite a goal! I was checking out that website you linked, they're adorable!

I'm actually an Art Therapist, so I'm looking at these creatures and thinking they'd be really great to make with the kids I work with! I'm always looking for fun, innovative ideas. You should try puppets... cover a baloon with either paper mache (spelling?) or plaster craft, then paint, add hair, etc... We also make them using oven-bake clay on wooden spoons!

 

[RayneeDeigh]

Thanks for the congrats 🙂 I can't believe it's so soon, now.... too much to do!

Sounds like a great idea with the creatures... 100, huh? that's quite a goal! I was checking out that website you linked, they're adorable!

I'm actually an Art Therapist, so I'm looking at these creatures and thinking they'd be really great to make with the kids I work with! I'm always looking for fun, innovative ideas. You should try puppets... cover a baloon with either paper mache (spelling?) or plaster craft, then paint, add hair, etc... We also make them using oven-bake clay on wooden spoons!

Let's see if I can get this to work... here's a picture of my favourite one so far. lol It's a boy head and a girl head.

 

[Aspire2Be]

Let's see if I can get this to work... here's a picture of my favourite one so far. lol It's a boy head and a girl head.

OK, I LOVE that! I must have this book. And I have about a zillion single socks. Who knew they were destined to be fabulous creatures?

You have totally made my night. AND, I might add, taken my mind of being waitlisted for 17 minutes. Thanks! 🙂

 

[paramour]

Let's see if I can get this to work... here's a picture of my favourite one so far. lol It's a boy head and a girl head.

😱 M'thinks that does disturb me . . . on a number of levels.

 

[GiantSteps]

Let's see if I can get this to work... here's a picture of my favourite one so far. lol It's a boy head and a girl head.

😱 M'thinks that does disturb me . . . on a number of levels.

Ladies! Let's not forget that Freud described shoes and socks as vaginal in nature. I think everything is quite clear now!

 

[RayneeDeigh]

OK, I LOVE that! I must have this book. And I have about a zillion single socks. Who knew they were destined to be fabulous creatures?

You have totally made my night. AND, I might add, taken my mind of being waitlisted for 17 minutes. Thanks! 🙂

No problem! Glad I could spread the sock creature joy. hehe.

😱 M'thinks that does disturb me . . . on a number of levels.

Oh c'mon, you know you love it! You want a little two-headed creature of your own.

Ladies! Let's not forget that Freud described shoes and socks as vaginal in nature. I think everything is quite clear now!

See what I mean? Everything's inappropriate with you! hahaha.

But thanks, now everytime I look at the poor little sock monsters I'm going to see vaginas sitting on my desk.

 

[Aspire2Be]

Let's see if I can get this to work... here's a picture of my favourite one so far. lol It's a boy head and a girl head.

I have a new diagnosis...

Waitlist Mania (aka waitlist manic episode); When a desperate, waitlisted person, in attempt to sooth frazzled nerves, orders a book from Barnes & Noble on creating sock creatures, immediately after seeing a fellow waitlister post her own sock creations on SDN.



...Yes, I just ordered the book! I'll be sure to post my first sock friend 🙂

 

[RayneeDeigh]

I have a new diagnosis...

Waitlist Mania (aka waitlist manic episode); When a desperate, waitlisted person, in attempt to sooth frazzled nerves, orders a book from Barnes & Noble on creating sock creatures, immediately after seeing a fellow waitlister post her own sock creations on SDN.



...Yes, I just ordered the book! I'll be sure to post my first sock friend 🙂

YAY!!! I'm so excited for you. (I'm also such an enabler). I predict that within no time, this diagnosis will be in the DSM.

You'll definitely have to post your collection when you're started. lol.

Here's another pic I just found on my computer. lol. I made these on New Years to celebrate the end of mailing applications.

 

[paramour]

. . .

Oh c'mon, you know you love it! You want a little two-headed creature of your own.

. . .

But thanks, now everytime I look at the poor little sock monsters I'm going to see vaginas sitting on my desk.

Two-headed creaures and vaginas?! Oh, my! oh, the mental images going through my head . . . reminiscent of Pink Floyd's The Wall for some odd reason.

 

[paramour]

YAY!!! I'm so excited for you. (I'm also such an enabler). I predict that within no time, this diagnosis will be in the DSM.

You'll definitely have to post your collection when you're started. lol.

Here's another pic I just found on my computer. lol. I made these on New Years to celebrate the end of mailing applications.

Hmm, I'm somewhat disappointed with these--they look fairly normal. And, I swear that I saw the blue one on some cartoon not so long ago . . . not that I watch cartoons.

 

[IOPsych]

Yeah I am along with you guys. I can not get it off my mind. I was waitlisted at a school I feel is a very good fit for me. They have not told me where I am on the waitlist, only that I am one of a select few.

I am holding 3 offers right now, hear me out however,

I have not had a chance to visit one of the schools and will be visiting it next week(just got the offer 2 days ago). The 3rd school has not given me any funding and the only reason I have an offer is because I am close with one of the Professors (if it wasn't given to me it would not be an offer, so I am not holding anyones spot) and he wants me in his lab. So I don't count that as an offer until they can give me funding. But I am going to visit my waitlisted school next week with one of my acceptances. I thought about asking my POI where I was on the waitlist, but since I already bought none refundable plane tickets I would really rather not know until I got there.

I am going for I/O Psych., but I have found that this site is very helpful, hope no one minds that I share in your stress as I feel we are all going through the same thing right now.

 

[Psychxiety]

Hmm, I'm somewhat disappointed with these--they look fairly normal. And, I swear that I saw the blue one on some cartoon not so long ago . . . not that I watch cartoons.

Hypnotoad (Futurama) maybe? And I do watch cartoons...thank you very much 😉.

 

[KillerDiller]

Ah yes, I know a thing or two about waitlists. I was just accepted into a program that I like a lot, so that's eased my stress level considerably. This school's location is perfect, and the people seem great. But the funding is pretty paltry compared to most programs (tuition only, plus a tiny stipend) and it's a newish program so it doesn't have much of a reputation. In contrast, I'm a "high alternate" at two of my top choice programs, both of which are very respected and offer a great stipend. At this point I just really want to know where I'm going!!! I've been tempted to accept the one offer now just to stop the madness. I also sympathize a lot with whoever is waiting on me. But it's got to end soon, right??

This could be me talking. It's my situation right down to the type of program I'm holding an acceptance from. I had to do a double take to make sure I didn't accidentally post this in my sleep.

 

[psychwanabe]

So I just found out that as the number one alternate to my top school, I am being strung along (for over a month now) by 3 applicants who are all holding more than one offer. One applicant is holding three offers! 👎

Hey Lyn - I was laying in bed last night obsessing about all this and I began to wonder: how did you find out such specific information on the other applicants? I would LOVE to know what the deal is with whomever is making me wait!! PM me if you don't want to post. 🙄

 

[Anticip]

Hypnotoad (Futurama) maybe? And I do watch cartoons...thank you very much 😉.

What about Aaah! Real Monsters, the cartoon that was on Nickelodeon in the 90s?

When I get the chance, I still watch cartoons. That's actually been one of my main forms of coping with the stress (that and taking up knitting again; must be something soothing about arts and crafts- any health psychologists need a dissertation topic?) New cartoons, old cartoons, they're all mind-numbingly soothing and distracting 🙂

 

[psychwanabe]

So what are you guys all doing to take your mind off it? Or what are you obsessively doing because of nerves? --I'm going through about 8 cans of soda a day, and checking email/SDN every 10 minutes... and way too much sleep (last night = 14 hours)

Well, I am not crafting like the sock-puppet queen 🙂rolleyes: j/k). My new obession is speedybubbles!! OMG this is the most addicting, mindless game I have ever played. You can find it at http://www.addictinggames.com/speedybubbles.html. So far my high score is about 60,000, which tells you how long I sat and played last night when I should have been doing homework.

Other than that, I am checking my cell for messages every time I get out of class, checking my email and SDN like a maniac (see dx in DSM V), and annoying the heck out of my husband with my mood swings!! 😳

 

[Wrking4U]

I have also taken up chain smoking to deal with the constant stress. I am currently waiting on one school, so it is that or nothing. The only thing that keeps me sane is this true story:

Last year my co-worker applied to 11 programs. She got 2 interviews. School #1 told her in late March "sorry, we would offer you a spot but the person you want to work with is leaving". School #2 waited until late evening on April 15th to extend an offer. Happy ending: she accepted and loves the program.

Keep the faith!

 

[Lyn71785]

Yeah I am along with you guys. I can not get it off my mind. I was waitlisted at a school I feel is a very good fit for me. They have not told me where I am on the waitlist, only that I am one of a select few.

I am holding 3 offers right now, hear me out however,

I have not had a chance to visit one of the schools and will be visiting it next week(just got the offer 2 days ago). The 3rd school has not given me any funding and the only reason I have an offer is because I am close with one of the Professors (if it wasn't given to me it would not be an offer, so I am not holding anyones spot) and he wants me in his lab. So I don't count that as an offer until they can give me funding. But I am going to visit my waitlisted school next week with one of my acceptances. I thought about asking my POI where I was on the waitlist, but since I already bought none refundable plane tickets I would really rather not know until I got there.

I am going for I/O Psych., but I have found that this site is very helpful, hope no one minds that I share in your stress as I feel we are all going through the same thing right now.

First of all congrats on your offers. Second of all, hearing someone actually describe their reasons for holding more than one offer makes me empathize a little and gets rid of some of my irrational rage at people I don't even know holding the offer that might go to me! (Plus you're in I/O psych so I know you're not the one holding me up ) But I do encourage you to let go of an offer as soon as you can (not the unfunded one, I agree that that doesn't really count) so that you can end someone else's waitlist agony. And feel free to share our stress and vent here!

Hey Lyn - I was laying in bed last night obsessing about all this and I began to wonder: how did you find out such specific information on the other applicants? I would LOVE to know what the deal is with whomever is making me wait!! PM me if you don't want to post. 🙄

The POI and DCT at the program have been VERY VERY helpful. Plus I think they are a little peeved themselves that their applicants are holding so many offers. (My dad thinks that I really was the first choice for my POI but that she got overruled by the department and is now angry at the other applicants and so disclosing a lot -- I don't really believe this but it makes me feel a little better) I do not know whether the applicants told them or if all the professors have a secret forum where they discuss applicants like we are discussing programs... wouldn't that be scary. I don't mind posting because I don't THINK that I've posted anything that points to exactly which school I am STILL waiting on.... If you feel like you developed a "chummy" relationship with your contact person at program why don't you email and ask how far up you are on the waitlist, what your chances are, if they think the other person will accept, etc. All while being very polite of course, but I don't think it would come off as rude, just as very interested in their program and still anxiously waiting.

What about Aaah! Real Monsters, the cartoon that was on Nickelodeon in the 90s?

When I get the chance, I still watch cartoons. That's actually been one of my main forms of coping with the stress (that and taking up knitting again; must be something soothing about arts and crafts- any health psychologists need a dissertation topic?) New cartoons, old cartoons, they're all mind-numbingly soothing and distracting 🙂

Just had to comment that that was one of my favorite cartoons! And I did crochet a scarf last weekend to try and ease the stress.

 

[Lyn71785]

I have also taken up chain smoking to deal with the constant stress.

A kindred spirit 🙄 That face is supposed to imply a guilty, somewhat sarcastic smile.

 

[Lyn71785]

One last thing before I head out to class...

Last night my roommates staged a SDN/"waitlist moping" intervention! They all came into my room and told me they were worried about me. Then they physically pulled my laptop out of my hands and made me get out of bed and go into the living room. One of my roomies (another psych major) also collected quantitative data about my mood at 3 minute intervals. She made me rate my mood on a scale of 1-10 and actually my mood did improve when I was in the living room! 🙂 Plus it was pretty cute of them to do.

 

[proudslug]

I am in the same boat as everyone else. I am first on the waitlist at my top choice and have been admitted to my second choice. However, I was recently informed that all slots have been filled except for one, and if that person decides not to go then I would be offered admission. Does anyone else feel like your top choice looses its luster after having been on the waitlist for so long (over a month). Sometimes, I just want to go ahead and pick the school I was already accepted at but at the same time, I dont want to loose the option of my top school if it becomes open. GRRRRR!

 

[Anticip]

One last thing before I head out to class...

Last night my roommates staged a SDN/"waitlist moping" intervention! They all came into my room and told me they were worried about me. Then they physically pulled my laptop out of my hands and made me get out of bed and go into the living room. One of my roomies (another psych major) also collected quantitative data about my mood at 3 minute intervals. She made me rate my mood on a scale of 1-10 and actually my mood did improve when I was in the living room! 🙂 Plus it was pretty cute of them to do.

that's adorable! I wish my roommates would stage an intervention, but they're as anxious as I am for me to hear back... probably has something to do with the fact that I've been saying things like "I'm too anxious; I don't have the emotional energy to do dishes!" and things like that 🙂

But social support is good for you, whether you're getting it from your roommates or from the forum (and if it's both, all the better!)

 

[Lyn71785]

I've been saying things like "I'm too anxious; I don't have the emotional energy to do dishes!" and things like that 🙂

Yea, but my roommates are definitely not enablers. I try to get out of doing the dishes or trash and they just won't let me. It's probably good for me anyway.

OK, really must leave for class.

 

[psychwanabe]

One last thing before I head out to class...

Last night my roommates staged a SDN/"waitlist moping" intervention! They all came into my room and told me they were worried about me. Then they physically pulled my laptop out of my hands and made me get out of bed and go into the living room. One of my roomies (another psych major) also collected quantitative data about my mood at 3 minute intervals. She made me rate my mood on a scale of 1-10 and actually my mood did improve when I was in the living room! 🙂 Plus it was pretty cute of them to do.

OMG, this is the funniest thing. Last night, as I read your original post on this thread and was wallowing in self-pity, my husband came home. He said "get off that computer, you're making yourself crazy," and made me go in the living room, have a drink with him, eat popcorn, and watch "Survivor." The same thing happened - I felt better, got my homework done, and went to bed (where I laid and obsessed about what was being posted on SDN that I was missing ).

I guess distraction works for a little while, anyway!!

 

[psychwanabe]

I am in the same boat as everyone else. I am first on the waitlist at my top choice and have been admitted to my second choice. However, I was recently informed that all slots have been filled except for one, and if that person decides not to go then I would be offered admission. Does anyone else feel like your top choice looses its luster after having been on the waitlist for so long (over a month). Sometimes, I just want to go ahead and pick the school I was already accepted at but at the same time, I dont want to loose the option of my top school if it becomes open. GRRRRR!

For me, I find that one program, which has jerked me around a lot, is quickly falling out of favor. Plus, now I am afraid of what it would be like if I went there! For the other program where I'm waitlisted, I am just as excited about it as I was on interview day. I think it would be a perfect fit for me.

What I am obsessing about today is whether or not they actually have an acceptance for "my" spot, and just haven't told me yet??!!! 😱

 

[neuronerd1]

This is just about the same as my story, except for the happy ending has not happened for me yet:

The only thing that keeps me sane is this true story:

Last year my co-worker applied to 11 programs. She got 2 interviews. School #1 told her in late March "sorry, we would offer you a spot but the person you want to work with is leaving". School #2 waited until late evening on April 15th to extend an offer. Happy ending: she accepted and loves the program.

Keep the faith!

I am trying to keep the faith but it's so hard. What I've been doing: checking my phone/email/SDN every chance I get, watching movies, exercising, reading, anything else I can think of to take my mind off this craziness. . .

I also need some advice:

quote from Lyn: "If you feel like you developed a "chummy" relationship with your contact person at program why don't you email and ask how far up you are on the waitlist, what your chances are, if they think the other person will accept, etc. All while being very polite of course, but I don't think it would come off as rude, just as very interested in their program and still anxiously waiting."

I have not developed a chummy relationship with the program I am waiting on at all, actually they have been awful at keeping my updated. I called and emailed my POI and he responded to neither. Then I emailed the DCT and he said I could expect to hear back by 3/26 (I emailed the week before this). Can I email back again? What should I say? "Hi, I suck and have no other offers, please let me in!"? j/k

 

[Lyn71785]

quote from Lyn: "If you feel like you developed a "chummy" relationship with your contact person at program why don't you email and ask how far up you are on the waitlist, what your chances are, if they think the other person will accept, etc. All while being very polite of course, but I don't think it would come off as rude, just as very interested in their program and still anxiously waiting."

I have not developed a chummy relationship with the program I am waiting on at all, actually they have been awful at keeping my updated. I called and emailed my POI and he responded to neither. Then I emailed the DCT and he said I could expect to hear back by 3/26 (I emailed the week before this). Can I email back again? What should I say? "Hi, I suck and have no other offers, please let me in!"? j/k

Well, if you got a response from the DCT I would try contacting him again. It is obviously past 3/26 so you would not be at all out of order to email/call again... or send packages with a suspicious white powder inside. KIDDING! But definitely if they said you'd hear by the 26th, call and if you leave a voicemail message, email to follow up. I'd say something like, "I'm still very very interested in your program, and was wondering if you could provide any further information about my position on the waitlist." Also, I wouldn't let them know that they're the only program you have an option at.

Another source you might try would be the graduate secretary... since I'm assuming they handle all the paperwork of mailing out offers, contracts, etc. he/she might be able to provide useful info if you can't get it elsewhere. I doubt the grad secretary would be able to tell you your chances, but they could probably tell you if someone already accepted your potential spot. 🙁

And if you do get accepted, hopefully your POI has a good reason for not responding to your inquiries, I know my POI is out of town right now but she provided me with contact information for another professor so I can send my frantic emails elsewhere while she is gone. I thought that was pretty sweet.

And I wouldn't worry too much about seeming pushy, all the profs know that this is a stressful, very drawn-out and inefficient process. I'm pretty sure most profs sympathyze. I think weekly or bi-weekly emails are a fair limit to the harrassment.

Good luck and let us know what you find out!!!!

 

[psychwanabe]

I have not developed a chummy relationship with the program I am waiting on at all, actually they have been awful at keeping my updated. I called and emailed my POI and he responded to neither. Then I emailed the DCT and he said I could expect to hear back by 3/26 (I emailed the week before this). Can I email back again? What should I say? "Hi, I suck and have no other offers, please let me in!"? j/k

Well, I wouldn't say I have a "chummy" relationship with either POI at the 2 schools where I am waitlisted, but I sent an email today. Here's essentially what I said:

"I hope you don’t mind me checking back with you again. I have made some decisions on my end, and I thought you might also have some decisions back from the students to which you made offers. As I mentioned before, I am very attracted to your program, so if there is a chance that I could still be getting an offer from you, I would like to hold making any major decisions on my part. If you already have the spot filled, then I can move on with my decisions as well.

Thank you for your time...blah blah blah."


There's no reason why you have to let this school know that you aren't holding other offers. There are certainly decisions that have to be made if you know you aren't getting in.

I am trying hard not to be a pest. I haven't emailed in almost 3 weeks. But as I have mentioned here before, I'm holding on to an offer that others are waitlisted for. If my POI already knows that the spot is filled, then I need to know so that I can take that spot and let some other poor applicant off the hook of the waitlist.

We keep saying that knowing is better than not knowing, right?? *bites nails* Well, now (assuming I get a response) I'll know!

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

One last thing before I head out to class...

Last night my roommates staged a SDN/"waitlist moping" intervention! They all came into my room and told me they were worried about me. Then they physically pulled my laptop out of my hands and made me get out of bed and go into the living room. One of my roomies (another psych major) also collected quantitative data about my mood at 3 minute intervals. She made me rate my mood on a scale of 1-10 and actually my mood did improve when I was in the living room! 🙂 Plus it was pretty cute of them to do.

That seriously made me crack up!

The fact they collected data, charted it, etc.....awesome.

It won't end there....even in grad school, you'll be out at a bar with your classmates, and you'll feel the need to tell a psych joke. (No really..it happens!). Everyone will have a good laugh, and then you will realize....did I REALLY just tell a psych joke at a bar....and did we all really just laugh....a lot?! It is those kinds of realizations that make me laugh at how much I love my chosen profession....well that, and the fact that I have heard some pretty interesting stuff in session.

-t