Weirest OR/Patient Experience

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
Gern Blansten said:
I saw one in that area that said, "Lucky you"

Strange, no one in the room felt lucky.

I saw a guy in the OR once that had "hot rod" tatooed on his...wait, I've said too much.:)
Click to expand...

worst tat i saw was on a 30-something woman who had seen better days (hopefully anyway) and had one of those do-it-yourself with some ink and a hot paperclip tats that read "Vanilla Ice" with the "-ce" crossing vertically from the "i" in Vanilla. I cringed.

Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
Members don't see this ad.
 
SexPanther said:
Slice like a ninja, cut like a razor blade
So fast, other DJs say damn
If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram
Click to expand...

Take heed, cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didnt know it
My town, that created all the base sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
 
Members don't see this ad :)
jetproppilot said:
Take heed, cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didnt know it
My town, that created all the base sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
Click to expand...

Cause my styles like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed it's a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
 
Gimme the microphone first, so I can bust like a bubble
Compton and Long Beach together, now you know you in trouble
Ain't nothin' but a G thang, baaaaabay!
 
Before going to medical school, I worked as a phlebotomist. One night, as I approached a pt's room to collect some blood, I heard some 'hard-porn dance beats' coming from the pt's room. I found this a little bizzare, but proceeded. When I opened the door, about 3 feet in front of me, was a very tan, blonde, muscular guy in a leopard skin thong shaking his azz around the pt's bed. I immediately stepped out and shut the door. Later, I was told that the pt was a nurse at the children's hospital across the street and her friends had bought a stripper to brighten her mood.
 
veetz said:
Before going to medical school, I worked as a phlebotomist. One night, as I approached a pt's room to collect some blood, I heard some 'hard-porn dance beats' coming from the pt's room. I found this a little bizzare, but proceeded. When I opened the door, about 3 feet in front of me, was a very tan, blonde, muscular guy in a leopard skin thong shaking his azz around the pt's bed. I immediately stepped out and shut the door. Later, I was told that the pt was a nurse at the children's hospital across the street and her friends had bought a stripper to brighten her mood.
Click to expand...

WOW.
 
I too was a phlebotomist before medschool.... and but for the fortuitous intervention of a nurse, nearly interrupted a couple in the act in the hospital bed. I can think of few places that would be less of a turn on than a hospital bed.....
 
veetz said:
Before going to medical school, I worked as a phlebotomist. One night, as I approached a pt's room to collect some blood, I heard some 'hard-porn dance beats' coming from the pt's room. I found this a little bizzare, but proceeded. When I opened the door, about 3 feet in front of me, was a very tan, blonde, muscular guy in a leopard skin thong shaking his azz around the pt's bed. I immediately stepped out and shut the door. Later, I was told that the pt was a nurse at the children's hospital across the street and her friends had bought a stripper to brighten her mood.
Click to expand...

damn, i'm so busted.
 
Walked in to talk to a patient about a labor epidural.

Her and her homies were completely worken a joint. I just turned around and left...
 
The other day I overheard CRNA's laughing about a GI fellow. Turns out, while attempting a colonoscopy, the fellow inadvertantly placed the scope up the pt's vagina!

:laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
Members don't see this ad :)
The other day I overheard CRNA's laughing about a GI fellow. Turns out, while attempting a colonoscopy, the fellow inadvertantly placed the scope up the pt's vagina!
Click to expand...

As a third year medical student, I was tasked with performing a rectal exam on a large (VERY large) female patient. She was laying laterally, and I had to use all my strength to lift one of her butt cheeks up. I briefly eyed the target, and then averted my eyes and turned my head... oh, the smell... the smell.

Well, that was a bad idea.

I blindly approached "the hole" with my hand, with my head still turned away, and bravely inserted my index finger from the left hand (I'm right-hand dominant) as the other was still holding the butt cheek. The patient immediately started going "ooh.... ooh... EPPP... OOOOOHH!" as I simultaneoulsy noticed the lack of good spinchter tone.

At that point, and a moment too late, I looked down to notice that I had inserted my full finger - three knuckles deep - into her vagina. I opened my mouth and, "s-sorry... sorry... s-s-sorry," was all that came stuttering out as I rapidly extracted the finger.

And, I think I turned a shade of plaid like Elmer Fudd in that Looney Tunes cartoon.

-copro
 
My first night on call doing OB/gyn as a third year medical student a 39ish lady came in with a missed AB. I was taking her h/p and asked if she had known she was pregnant, "No" she said. I then asked if she was using any birth control, again "No." I asked why not, and she said she didn't think she could get pregnant because she had been having sex for 10 years without any birth control. Then asked if anything was different recently, she said "Yes, I have been with a new guy for 4 months" (obvious old guy was shooting blanks), but this is just the start. I asked when her last period was, "September, 4 months ago," she replied. I then asked if she normally had regular periods, and of course "yes." So now I am interested and just have to know so I asked the money question... "So didn't you think something was wrong when you had not had a period for 4 months?" She replies with straight face, "I just thought my body was all messed up with that Y2K thing..." I of course walk out of the room immediately and lose it. It was of course January 2001.
 
Number 2:

I get called stat to OB for a possible abruption on a 32 weaker with no prenatal care. Luckily she turned out not to have one, but while I am asking her history just in case, her story comes out. Apparently she was brought into the hospital by ambulance because her boyfriend had beat her around and thrown her down the stairs because they had gotten into a fight. The reason for the fight was that she had accused him of using her drug bong for smoking cocaine instead of the marijuana she only was using during her pregnancy.

I felt sorry for that kid.
 
As CA-2 at outpatient surgy-center was interviewing 30-something male:

Me: And any allergies to medicines?

Him: Only penicillin.

Me: What happens with penicillin?

Him: Death.

(Silent pause. Nurse and I staring for a moment.)

Me: (in my best Month Python/Holy Grail voice) But you got betta'!

Turns out the Holy Grail was his favoriate movie and he immediately got (and appreciated) the rather obscure reference. Quoted Grail to each other up to moment propofol kicked in.
 
Dogdaze said:
As CA-2 at outpatient surgy-center was interviewing 30-something male:

Me: And any allergies to medicines?

Him: Only penicillin.

Me: What happens with penicillin?

Him: Death.

(Silent pause. Nurse and I staring for a moment.)

Me: (in my best Month Python/Holy Grail voice) But you got betta'!

Turns out the Holy Grail was his favoriate movie and he immediately got (and appreciated) the rather obscure reference. Quoted Grail to each other up to moment propofol kicked in.
Click to expand...

On a similar note, I was moonlighting in an ER during residency and was taking care of a drug seeking veteran who was well known to that ER. When he didn't get exactly what he wanted, he became irate. He proceeded to tell me, "I can't believe you are gonna treat me this way! I fought and died for this country!"
 
20 something yo kid for ex-lap/splenectomy after drunk driving his car off the road. intubated at the scene. ICU nurse brings the guy down to the OR on the vent with RT and tearfully gives me report, carrying on about how this guy looks like her baby son, and how we should really take extra special care of him...

splenectomy done, we clear his neck and remove his c-collar before transport back up to ICU on the ventilator. across his anterior neck is a huge pink tattoo of a vu-J-J with the words "fish, hunt, and eat C***" written in bold black letters. classy guy, the kind you bring home to mom.

as i'm giving report to the tender mother nurse up in the unit i uncover his neck and show her the ink. "mother****er".. she breathes quietly under her breath.
 
As you can see by my name, I am a refugee (gen surg, looking forward to July 1st, when I finally make the switch). My story (right after I got my CA-1 spot):

Setting: private hospital surgery center
Situation: straight forward, healthy male getting ing hernia repair
Players: complete jerk I-believe-I'm-God ("I BIG") surgeon, soft-spoken anesthesiologist, and gen surg intern who's seen the light
Conflict: I BIG hates Bair Hugger ("too much noise for me to perform my perfect surgery!"), anesthesiologist (and most others in hospital) hates I BIG but wants Bair Hugger for patient care and tells I BIG as such

STORY: Surgery went fine, I BIG asked for my applause and compliments throughout the case, but also complained THE WHOLE TIME about the noise the Bair Hugger was making. After the hernia repair was done, and as I BIG backs away from the table, he stares at the anesthesiologist behind the drape who has been quiet the whole time (in spite of hateful "banter" from I BIG). He doesn't say a word, just motions for me to come and look.

The twist: there was no Bair Hugger...on the patient. The anesthesiologist turned on the pump/heater, and put the connection tubing in his lap to keep his legs warm...and was smiling at I BIG like, "What? What are you going to do?" I had already fallen in love with anesthesia, and knew then that I would belong. :)
 
I had a trauma not too long ago. 20 something year old male with some kinda open fracture in an extremity. Tatoos all over the place but the most prominent one on his neck. It said "Tina" in big letters across both sides of his neck. The guy was drunk and had had some kind of misadventure involving himself and his motorcycle. All of this I could have handled without even blinking any eye. What really pis#ed me off was the fact that he was a total as#hole to just about every staff member he had contact with including my CRNA who is just about the nicest person you will meet. He was irate that they were trying to take him to the OR without seeing his wife/girlfriend/fellow meth head (whose name was not Tina). She finally arrives, sees this high class citizen, and we get him to the OR, put him to sleep (I did think about giving the sux first but was able to restrain myself). Our circulators always call the family at the start of the surgery, somewhere in the middle and at the end. So as she is calling I tell her to ask for "Tina". Whenever a circulator gave a break I made them call and ask for Tina. By the end of the surgery the girlfriend not named "Tina" had gotten about 5 calls from the OR. I made sure to call the last time and the conversation went like this:

Me: "may I speak to Tina"
Girlfriend not named Tina: "I have already told them that there is no Tina here"
Me: "Sorry, are you with Mr. Dirtbag"
Girlfriend not named Tina: "Yes, I am"
Me: "He is waking up doing fine, his surgery went well, and is asking to see...well ahh, nevermind, he should be up to his room shortly"
Girlfriend not named Tina: "you tell that son of a bi#ch that I won't be here"

I have never in my life had more fun on a call night.
 
I was a CA-3 assigned to arrests and cardioversions for the day. Showed up to the cardiology suite with my gear, and met my first patient for the day. Nice guy, kind of young- late 30's, looks like he's in good shape.

"So, what do you do sir?"
"I'm a teacher."
"Oh really, that's great."
[pre-op questions]
"So where do you teach?"
"Well, I'm actually moving down south to teach at parochial school."
"Really? What faith?"
"I'm with Opus Dei."
(Davinci Code was recently released..)
"No kidding? So, can you show me your cilice?" (joking)
"No, I left it at home today." (serious)
[shows me his scarred leg]
"Think that might have something to do with your afib?"
(laughs)

Later that night on call my clinical director grabs me...
"I've got a special case for you downstairs in the cath lab."
"Really?"
"The patient requested you personally."
"Huh?"
"He's about 6'3, white hair, I think his name is Silas..."
"All right, enough already..."
"Watch out, he refused to check his cat-o-nine tails with security."
 
Preoperative assessment questionnaire

What medications do you take?

Medication Heroin
Strength $100
How often Every day


:rolleyes: at least he was honest.
 
Last edited:
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: More posts!

Trauma rolls in; drunk guy. Needs to be intubated. He asks what we're going to give him. Propofol, of course. He asks to see it. Attending shows him syringe of white stuff. Pt says "You're going to put that in my vein?!?! No way. I want to taste it!" Attending warns him that it tastes bad - pt still wants a taste. Attending squirts some in pt's mouth. Pt then asks for the rest of it in his mouth!

Well, at that point, he gets the rest IV.
 
O.k. now this one really sucks.....

Last year, during surgery, we had a consult in the ER. Myself and the 2nd year surgical resident saw the patient and we needed to do a guaiac....

Pt was female so we called in a nurse. This nurse was really attractive but kind of shy looking. She didn't say a word.

So, good ole CF puts on the glove and lubes up. I'm "in" and doing a good sweep (you know how the surgeons are, feel for hemmorhoids, polyps etc.) when I suddenly get this feeling of despair!

Oh, sh..t, I'm NOT in the rectum!

So, I'm like, "ah..ah.., i "think" I missed the mark" (or something like that because I was super embarrassed).

I swear to God, the patient says "oh, I thought so, because I knew that felt too good to be in my butt"........ (turns out it was acute/chronic pancreatitis and the pt was still a bit tipsy...)

I was speachless, but managed a sheepish "ah, you should have told me".

Oh boy. I felt as if my last comment was like blaming the victim. Seriously, this sounds funny, but it was terrible at the time.......
 
In the ED as an MS4, next Pt. is young 20's with diarrhea. Parents are with him. My superpowers deduce his rectum is probably not a one-way road. Suck it up and have to do one of maybe 2 rectals of my medical school career. I ask his fam to leave for this event. I grab the long sterile gloves. Ask him about his sexuality, and he admits as much.

Tell him what's about to happen. Intrigued, he says "OK!". He proceeds to roll onto his side, pose his upper leg just so, and state something about feeling really comfortable.

After my brief exam, during which he oooohs, he follows it up by asking "if everything looked OK down there."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Next unread thread

Similar threads

P
When patient is intubated and spontaneously breathing on manual or minimal PSV how many TOF twitches does that equate to ?
Replies
32
Views
2K
GassYous
GassYous
TeslaCoil
MOCA Patient Safety CME Credits
Replies
2
Views
831
Luv2N2B8
L
Z
Patient Nearly Dies After CRNA Mishap
2
Replies
97
Views
9K
sevoflurane
sevoflurane
GaseousClay
Nurse murders multiple patients
Replies
14
Views
2K
Robotic Wis-Hipple
Robotic Wis-Hipple
2
Patient Death In Colorado
Replies
22
Views
3K
Beeftenderloin
Beeftenderloin
Top