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173291

We need more fluffy and fun-hearted threads on this site...So, I decided to steal/borrow an idea from the EM forum.

Please share any weird, funny, or crazy patient experiences. I am sorry that I don't have anything to personally contribute at this time. Maybe u guys will remind me of something.
 

Tenesma

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I was doing cardiac anesthesia and as usual the surgeon was nowhere to be found... my patient was all lined up, and I was giving him boluses of midazolam and fentanyl every once in a while to keep him relaxed in the cardiac OR...

so he (the patient) looks up at me, and says: "Doc, my face is itchy with this mask --- can you scratch my nose?" --- you gotta remember one arm has the A-line and the other arm has large bore in the AC... so i scratch his nose

a few minutes later: "Doc, my chest and nipples are really itchy... maybe it's those meds you are giving me... can you scratch my nipples?" .... so i take the blame for the fentanyl and i scratch his nipples

another ten minutes go by (and i stopped with the fentanyl) --- "Doc, my balls are itchy - can you scratch 'em balls?" --- reflexively I was going to go for it, and then realized what was happening and started pushing little boluses of propofol.

it turns out this guy had similar requests of the male nursing staff in the cardiac ICU and on the floors... hmmmm...
 
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173291

oh my god...i don't even know what to say or what i would do in that situation. hopefully I wouldn't have been the naive ball scratcher.:eek:
 
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cchoukal

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I had a lady that wanted me to talk dirty to her as she woke up. She was having a BSO for Br CA. She explained that she woke up from a previous anesthetic swearing like a sailor and taking swings at people. She figured if I sweet-talked her, maybe she'd wake up a little more calm. When no one was around, she clarified that it wasn't so much "sweet talk" she was going for, but rather the hard stuff. In her words, she wanted to "feel dirty." Once she was anesthetized and the surgery was under way, I told my attending about it and asked for his advice. "Maybe you should focus on what a good person she probably is." Nice.
 

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:laugh:

Keep it coming!

Bronchoscopy: A little old man in NAD with a wife and large family in the waiting room. Basically, the ideal picture of a nice family man. Once he gets the benzo and morphine, he starts begging the attending to allow him (the patient) to, uh, pleasure, the attending.

The begging was like a kid at Christmas. Mind you, this is intern year, I havent even hit my residency yet...
 

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From my surgery rotation:

A woman was waking up when she asked, "Am I in Heaven?" After she realized she was back on earth, she began trashing her arms about until she poked herself in the eye and (possibly) scratched her cornea. She was immediately sent to the eye hospital where she threw a fit in the waiting room and left AWOL. We never heard from her again.
 

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My patient in pre-op holding stated he was allergic to moth balls. I asked him how he managed to get their tiny legs apart. We both started laughing so hard I thought we were going to piss ourselves.
 

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I always remember a nun coming to the hospital to have pain injections for her back and being very, VERY nervous. I 'splain everything to her, how I'm going to use a little propofol for heavy sedation and she'll basically sleep throughout the whole thing.

Get her in the room, monitored up, give a little propofol and all of a sudden she props up on both arms and says, "I'm your WHITE WITCH," with a sultry voice and look . . . Oh boy, more propofol, LOTS more propofol.

Then there was the time in residency where the nut job Ku Klux Klan member going to kill his girlfriend comes in to the ER after going to his girlfriend's house with a cocked .357 tucked in his pant waist line, jumping out of his truck, and shooting his left nut off. Divine sterilization if you ask me.

Anyway he's balling (literally) before surgery and I give him some morphine and he says thank you, we go back to the OR, unfortunately we save his right nut, and when he wakes up, he looks at me and says "You did not just touch a white man did you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you and your family!" Tries to get off the bed and takes a swing at me, necessitating UTSouthwestern MMA takedown #4 while pumping him with propofol. Before he starts calming down, African American circulator dude/comedian starts yelling at him: "Mr. XXX, everything's OKKK, EVERYTHING'S O K K K!"
 

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haha, he was literally a nut job


I was on my anesthesia rotation and I went to the pre-op area to start an IV on my next case, a 45ish year old obese lady in for a THA. I walk in, explain who I am and that I'm going to start her IV, and this whole time she has both hands under the covers, doing something. She seems real distracted, so I stop and ask, "so, um, whatcha doin' down there?" Both hands come up over the covers and with utter exasperation she says "Dr Suchandsuch (ortho surgeon) says I have to take out all my body piercings, and I can't get my clit ring out! I just can't get a good grip on it, it's stuck and it's slippery." Me, trying to keep a straight face (and thinking, crap, yeah, I guess we really should get it out, since it's a hip surgery): "oh." Her, offering me her left hand: "but here, if you need to start the IV..." and the right hand goes back under the covers. Me, "um, actually, I have to go get my supplies together, and I'll be back in a few minutes." I leave the room, let her nurse know that "Mrs. Blahblah in room X needs a hand (heehee)" and take the next 30 minutes to draw up my lido... When the nurse left the room (victorious, mind you) she looked like her morning had taken a turn for the worse. I'll do a lot in the name of patient care, but in this case I'm gonna have to say that there's nothing educational for me in taking out a clit ring! I thoroughly cleaned the site before starting the IV, and definitely wore gloves...
 

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On my OB rotation, I had a woman in her 30's and 38 weeks preggers come in with her husband and thinking her water had broken. The resident lets me do the exam and when this lady slides off her underwear I see what has to be the best tatoo EVER!!! It said "Slippery When Wet" in HUGE letters on her mons pubis. I couldn't keep a straight face and started laughing below the curtain. It got better when we tell her that her water has broken and she is going to deliver soon she says, "do you mind telling my husband that the baby is only 20 weeks? He was in jail when I got pregnant and he thinks that its his." She was a really classy lady. :thumbup: Her husband apparently didn't notice anything miraculous about the "rapid gestation" that occured with his wife and child.


On the same rotation a 30wk pregnant woman comes in with her husband with a very small vibrator stuck way way way down in her vagina. Her stomach was vibrating the entire time during exam and the very difficult extraction.
 
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173291

On my OB rotation, I had a woman in her 30's and 38 weeks preggers come in with her husband and thinking her water had broken. The resident lets me do the exam and when this lady slides off her underwear I see what has to be the best tatoo EVER!!! It said "Slippery When Wet" in HUGE letters on her mons pubis. I couldn't keep a straight face and started laughing below the curtain. It got better when we tell her that her water has broken and she is going to deliver soon she says, "do you mind telling my husband that the baby is only 20 weeks? He was in jail when I got pregnant and he thinks that its his." She was a really classy lady. :thumbup: Her husband apparently didn't notice anything miraculous about the "rapid gestation" that occured with his wife and child.


On the same rotation a 30wk pregnant woman comes in with her husband with a very small vibrator stuck way way way down in her vagina. Her stomach was vibrating the entire time during exam and the very difficult extraction.

WOW :eek:. I am still having a hard timing remembering anything interesting/weird/or funny that I have come across. Maybe I have just had a dull training, thus far.

Please keep 'em coming.
 

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Was placing a spinal before an elective C-section recently when the mother-to-be launched an air biscuit in my general direction. I was being lazy and sitting while I placed the spinal, and got the full effect.
Later when baby was out and the OB was closing the patient looked up at me sheepishly and said "Sorry I farted in your face, doctor."
 
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173291

So, as a part of my surgery outpatient experience I had to rotate through Urology. I just remembered a story I was told:

A 30 something yr old guy presents to the ED complaining of abdominal pain and foul smelling urine. Urine was clearly dirty. For some reason or other they decided to do a CT abd/pelvis (maybe to r/o pyelo...can't really remember). Anyhoo, the CT showed this weird looking thing sitting in the bladder. It was clearly identified as a foreign object based on its shape. Upon further questioning, the patient admitted to buying some gadget off the internet that was supposed to provide sexual pleasure. They are shaped like short tubes and come in varying sizes. Apparently you use the supplied applicator to introduce the tube into the urethra. Some kind of way it's supposed to make you "feel good."

Long story short, this guy pushed the tube up too far and couldn't retrieve it. He assumed it would come out eventually, so he didn't go to the ED. A month had passed since he lost the thing. He had a nasty bladder infection and the damned thing had to be surgically removed.
 

W222

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On the same OB rotation as writen about above: Two women who had just delivered just happened to be friends from their "recreational activities" and were in rooms next to one another. Nurses had to check on them regularly because they had been caught smoking cigarettes numerous times. Well, a nurse went in to check on them late on their second night post-partum and found the two of them having sex in the bathroom.


Also, one of my pysch patients was caught on video by staff having sex with another psych patient in a common area of the hospital.
 

jetproppilot

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We need more fluffy and fun-hearted threads on this site...So, I decided to steal/borrow an idea from the EM forum.

Please share any weird, funny, or crazy patient experiences. I am sorry that I don't have anything to personally contribute at this time. Maybe u guys will remind me of something.

I think the funniest story I've heard is Mil's story....I'm sure he won't mind if I share it.

So Mil back in his military days is the big time attending, teaching residents....they're putting a navy SEAL type dude to sleep....push propofol sux....ventilate, blah blah blah.....Mil inserts Miller 2 into stud-SEAL's mouth, explaining awesome technique.....navy SEAL-stud reaches outta the alleged propofol/sux slumber with his right hand, grabs the laryngyscope and hurls it across the room.

:eek:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MIL: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, can somebody get me another laryngyscope?"

MORAL OF THE STORY: Do not f u k with a Navy SEAL. Anesthetized or not. Call them SIR at all times. Open doors for them. Wash their car. They some bad ass dudes.
 

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MIL: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, can somebody get me another laryngyscope?"
I think I might have run screaming from the room.

Mine:

I'm sitting there at the head of the bed, happily charting my dots and circles and lines and Vs and adjusting the sevo and importantly explaining everything to a tech intern when all of a sudden the esteemed surgeon (more letters after than in his name, many professorships, power to fire me, squish me like a bug, part the Red Sea, etc) screams out "AVERT YOUR EYES! AVERT YOUR EYES! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, AVERT YOUR EYES!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Naturally, everyone (scrub nurse, me and my intern, the dvm intern scrubbed in, the two other scrub-ees, and the entire pacu staff behind the large picture window) rushes to look to see why God is so upset...turns out his pants had fallen down and he was wearing pink boxers with lovely blue hearts and a large "kiss me you fool" across the buttocks, clearly visible because the bottom tie of his gown had loosened and the back flap had come open.

Did I mention that no one on staff that day was a male except the surgeon? That the surgeon made us call in one of the ICU nurses to pull up his pants and secure them with a towel clamp? Of course, the whole time he was still busily operating away on his THR, but screaming "AVERT YOUR EYES! OH MY GOD!!!" the entire 10 minutes until Joe could get free.

I prudently concentrated extremely hard on my various beeps and blips and blinks and lines and circles and dots and Vs.
 

numbmd

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I'm just about to do a total hip on a young guy, late twenties, bad arthritis. Guy is kind of slow, not completely dysfunctional, but needs to live w/parents.

I'm just about to push the propofol, when he starts saying to the orthopod..

Doc I have to go to the bathroom, my mom usually helps me...

He replies, That's OK we can take care of it here......

My patient starts arcing a quite impressive stream, all over the instruments over three feet away. The whole place is in shock, then starts howling!

He pees for two and a half minutes! You could have a limbo contest (not that you would want to) under the stream. He really must have HAD to go.

Moral of the story, tell them to hold it in.
 

UTSouthwestern

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I just DIED laughing!!!! Oh my gosh....
That was just the tip of the iceberg. I have to spend some time writing down the others that happened, including everyone's favorite ass gerbil extraction, 400 pound truck driver "commodian", etc.
 
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militarymd

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I think the funniest story I've heard is Mil's story....I'm sure he won't mind if I share it.

So Mil back in his military days is the big time attending, teaching residents....they're putting a navy SEAL type dude to sleep....push propofol sux....ventilate, blah blah blah.....Mil inserts Miller 2 into stud-SEAL's mouth, explaining awesome technique.....navy SEAL-stud reaches outta the alleged propofol/sux slumber with his right hand, grabs the laryngyscope and hurls it across the room.

:eek:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MIL: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, can somebody get me another laryngyscope?"

MORAL OF THE STORY: Do not f u k with a Navy SEAL. Anesthetized or not. Call them SIR at all times. Open doors for them. Wash their car. They some bad ass dudes.
actually...after he tossed the laryngoscope across the room.....there was a very quiet, pregnant pause.....before EVERYONE in the room started rolling on the floor laughing....while I tried to maintain composure...trying not to look TOO stupid.
 

Monty Python

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We need more fluffy and fun-hearted threads on this site...So, I decided to steal/borrow an idea from the EM forum.

Please share any weird, funny, or crazy patient experiences. I am sorry that I don't have anything to personally contribute at this time. Maybe u guys will remind me of something.

How about honest-to-God birth names seen in your teaching hospital's OB unit?

My favorite from pre-Katrina Charity Hospital New Orleans: Placenta Maria
 

militarymd

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How about honest-to-God birth names seen in your teaching hospital's OB unit?

My favorite from pre-Katrina Charity Hospital New Orleans: Placenta Maria
Nice avatar....I can't tell if it's the hope or comfort, but either ways, I know the inside of that ship very well.
 

Monty Python

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Nice avatar....I can't tell if it's the hope or comfort, but either ways, I know the inside of that ship very well.
'Tis the Comfort from charming Baltimore harbor. Learning how to activate and launch the life rafts in a controlled manner from the davits about, let's see, 150 feet above sea-level was loads of fun.

x-mmd and I have both done time at the National Naval Medical Center (Bethesda). Saddest anesthetic I've ever given was to a Marine there, a victim of an Iraqi IED. Only had stumps left for arms and legs. This is the season for everyone to truly count their blessings .... it's easy to overlook how blessed modern-day Americans are.
 

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First night on call as a CA-1 we had a jehova's witness come in at around 4am from the ER, referred to us by OSH.

55 y/o phillipino dude. Very reserved. Strange sort of withdrawn affect. So the gen surg resident pulls me aside and says "dude, this guy has a light bulb in his ass."

He said he was constipated. Last time I checked thomas edison's creation wasn't on the list of rectal cathartics. Tell him all the jehova's blood stuff. Put him to sleep. X-ray comes up. Phillips 3 way light bulb INTACT in his rectum. Veryyy Nyyyyyyssss!

After they put him in lithotomy and stretch his anus out to the diamater of a softball (ouch) they (surgeons) start pulling out chunks of broken glass, filament, the friggen screw thingy...luckily the guy didn't perf.

After we wake him up and I drop him off in the PACU at 5am he turns to me, and asks very softly, if he can have the pieces of his lightbulb back...
 

militarymd

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'Tis the Comfort from charming Baltimore harbor. Learning how to activate and launch the life rafts in a controlled manner from the davits about, let's see, 150 feet above sea-level was loads of fun.

x-mmd and I have both done time at the National Naval Medical Center (Bethesda). Saddest anesthetic I've ever given was to a Marine there, a victim of an Iraqi IED. Only had stumps left for arms and legs. This is the season for everyone to truly count their blessings .... it's easy to overlook how blessed modern-day Americans are.
My favorite area of that ship was the lounge in the aft of the ship above the engine room with the large screen TV...

I fell asleep there many times.
 

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This is the season for everyone to truly count their blessings .... it's easy to overlook how blessed modern-day Americans are.
So very very true. Sometimes I worry for the future of our country with the spoiled brats we have around here. We need to get alot tougher as a nation.
 

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It looks like propofol is to blame in most cases... here are my two stories:

1) Woman, awake during gynecologic procedure. Under light propofol sedation. Her husband, who is a physician, is in the OR. Suddenly, she starts babbling about her desire to spend a month with each of the surgeons operating on her. Everyone in the room looks amused, except for her husband who is simpering foolishly... so she wins a full-dose propofol bolus :)

2) Young woman, awakening from a 3-hour-long endoscopic sinus surgery performed under TIVA. She asks me how old I am. 26, I reply. "Just like my boyfriend", she says, and goes on "after, come into my room with me". For obvious reasons I don't accept the invitation... then, I come across her in the hospital two days later. She's with her mum. I ask her if everything is ok. She says yes, but her mother adds that she's been talking for two days about the fact that she feels guilty for something she must have done while awakening, but she can't recall exactly what it is. Freud's theories vigorously come back to my mind :cool:
 

militarymd

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Back in the 90's when I was in the Navy, I was the anesthesilogist for the director of the CIA at the time.

I was told by the body guard "no mind altering drugs...he'll have a spinal"

The body guard was big and obviously wearing a sidearm....I said "ok"...

As I was putting in the spinal, I told him that he was welcome to watch....

Gigantor walked over, looked at the needle in the back of the director of the CIA....promptly turned green and moved to the other side of the OR and stayed there quietly for the rest of the case.
 
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So, I'm working in the cysto room one day..... I come out into the holding area to see my next patient, and I see everyone is looking at me. I look at the nurses and say OK, WTF is going on? They all smile and one of them says, "We were wondering if you were going to let her bring THAT into the OR?" I tilt my head to the side and look quizzically at her, just like my dog does when I start talking to him. She says, "Just go see your next patient."

I go over to the bay and I see my 24y/o female patient, with her mother standing beside her. And she is clutching a doll. A baby doll. The most hideous baby doll I have ever seen. Most of the blond hair is gone, so it looks like it just got plugs. It's clothes are long gone. The face of it is weird, there is dirt ground into it from obviously years and years and years of handling.

So as I go and start asking the relevant questions, I can't help but glance repeatedly at the bride of chucky during the interview. I thought she was going to have some mental/emotional limitations, but no. Just your standard 24 y/o bringing her childhood toy with her.

Now I go to bring her into the OR, I tell her it's time to go. I'm just about to tell her that there is no way on god's green earth that that fu*king doll is coming into the OR, when she gives it to her mother and, (whew) we go in.

But that's not it......

We pull up to the cysto table and ask her to move over, (by the way, she has a hydro) and I notice something peculiar on her lower back. She has a c**-catcher! Did she bring her dollie to the tattoo parlor? Did dollie have any input to the size of the goth looking cross on her sacrum?

I keep my mouth shut like a good little boy and start putting my leads on. When she stops and says "Wait, I have to ask the doctor something." I say "That's OK I'm a doctor too, what is your question?"

"I have a clit ring, should I take it out?"

So I call across the room to the urologist and say"HEY MIKE, SHE'S GOT A CLIT RING, DO YOU NEED IT OUT?" I get these two saucer eyes staring back at me from the urologist. He takes a moment, composes himself, and nods no. So I tell her, "Don't worry, we'll take care of that."

Fortunately, the piercing is small and doesn't interfere with the urethra, so we proceed. An uneventful case ensues and I'm bringing her to recovery. First thing she says as she wakes up is....(guess)

1. How did everything go?

2. Were there any problems?

3. Where's my Dolly?

If you guessed any of the above, you were mistaken. Her first words were, "What did you do with my clit ring?" Still in a half stupor.

I say, glibly, "Don't worry, don't worry,.........We gave it to your mother."

She suddenly wakes right up and says, "OH NO, MOMMY DOESN"T KNOW!"
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When will these silly girls realize, and leave their clit rings at home? It's OK. We really, really don't need to see them.

In fact, you can leave them with your dollys.
 

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Nice!

Back in the 90's when I was in the Navy, I was the anesthesilogist for the director of the CIA at the time.

I was told by the body guard "no mind altering drugs...he'll have a spinal"

The body guard was big and obviously wearing a sidearm....I said "ok"...

As I was putting in the spinal, I told him that he was welcome to watch....

Gigantor walked over, looked at the needle in the back of the director of the CIA....promptly turned green and moved to the other side of the OR and stayed there quietly for the rest of the case.
 

jetproppilot

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"I have a clit ring, should I take it out?"

So I call across the room to the urologist and say"HEY MIKE, SHE'S GOT A CLIT RING, DO YOU NEED IT OUT?" I get these two saucer eyes staring back at me from the urologist. He takes a moment, composes himself, and nods no. So I tell her, "Don't worry, we'll take care of that."


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When will these silly girls realize, and leave their clit rings at home? It's OK. We really, really don't need to see them.

In fact, you can leave them with your dollys.
HAHAHAHAHA

Reminds me of similar situation at previous gig.....girl for gyn procedure comes to OR, Brian the CRNA and I put her to sleep.....older GYN doctor assumes his position between her legs, working on getting clit ring out....fumbles around for more than five minutes, no luck.

CRNA Brian (young single dude) rolls his eyes, grabs some sterile gloves, walks around to where GYN doctor is, removes ring in about 8 seconds, hands it to GYN doctor, pops off gloves, walks back to head of bed. :laugh:
 

UTSouthwestern

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Had one case a while back where the general surgeon got a call during our case from another hospital where the ER doc is asking him to accept a transfer of a patient with bilateral occluded femoral arteries, severe CAD/HTN/DM, 74 y/o, uninsured, now needs aorto-bifem bypass. I'm holding the phone to his ear and listening to the ER doc's voice explain the situation and how there is no vascular surgeon available at that hospital (we both know that was a lie) and the patient needs a facility that can provide a higher level of care.

"Uh-huh . . . uh-huh . . . uh-huh. Well, I'd rather eat sh!t with a fork and die."

ER doc: "Excuse me?"

"Sh!t, fork, die, GOODBYE!"
 

SleepIsGood

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so I was working with an ENT who was doing a ESS but under MAC.

ENT is like, watch this (mind you pt is still awake). He's like give the pt 8mg of decadron. So I give it since it was indicated and waited 5min. He asks pt how are you feeling. Pt says ok...but has a weird look on his face.

Surgeon then asks a few minutes later, how do you feel. pt is like, I'm ok but again has a weird look on his face.

1 min goes by and surgeon asks how do you feel? Pt goes, "I'm itchy". Surgeon asks where....pt reluctantly after a few seconds admits his genitals itch. Surgeon then goes, it's ok to itch them if you want.

Why did I write this. This particular surgeon stated for the last X number of years he's been doing MAC ESS on male pts, whenever they are given 8mg (doesnt work with 4) of decadron their balls itch. Apparently there's no rhyme or reason to this phenomenon, but it does happen...We tried it on the next male pt that came in.
 

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Why did I write this. This particular surgeon stated for the last X number of years he's been doing MAC ESS on male pts, whenever they are given 8mg (doesnt work with 4) of decadron their balls itch. Apparently there's no rhyme or reason to this phenomenon, but it does happen...We tried it on the next male pt that came in.
That's a pretty well known reaction. Sometimes they describe it as a burning sensation. In women same thing happens to the huhu. Yes, I have seen the powers of decadron in women.
 

cchoukal

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That's a pretty well known reaction. Sometimes they describe it as a burning sensation. In women same thing happens to the huhu. Yes, I have seen the powers of decadron in women.

I've seen it happen twice. The first time was with this elderly african american woman in the ICU with angioedema from an ACE-inhibitor. She, of course, got a bunch of steroids, did well, got extubated. One morning in the unit, I got called to see her because her SpO2 was low. There was no waveform, and an obvious motion artifact. I could see she was itching herself, ya know, down there. I was like, "everything cool in here?" she's like, "naw, I'm fine. they's just somethin' down by ma pu$$y." Came to find out she had just received her AM dexamethasone dose.

It was awesome.
 

timtye78

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This one had the whole room laughing under their masks.

30-something patient given sedation propofol and midazolam, with a bit of fentanyl for excision of labial lesion. OB walks in, scrubs in, putting his gloves on, and the pt says:

"Dr. X, is that you?"
"Yes"
"Dr.X, does your wife know how handsome you are?"
"I certainly hope so!" with a wink
"Well, you're hot, yep..zzzzzzz...."
"Ok thanks!"

......Same pt, same case.....
"Dr.X? Can you make it tighter? My boyfriend would appreciate it."
"Uh, I don't know, you may notice a little difference, although, ahem, that's not what we are going for..."
" Ok, can you give it a facelift?"

.....Funniest thing I ever witnessed-100% true. I have heard rumors that propofol can unleash some amorous feelings, and I believe it.
 
OP
1

173291

This one had the whole room laughing under their masks.

30-something patient given sedation propofol and midazolam, with a bit of fentanyl for excision of labial lesion. OB walks in, scrubs in, putting his gloves on, and the pt says:

"Dr. X, is that you?"
"Yes"
"Dr.X, does your wife know how handsome you are?"
"I certainly hope so!" with a wink
"Well, you're hot, yep..zzzzzzz...."
"Ok thanks!"

......Same pt, same case.....
"Dr.X? Can you make it tighter? My boyfriend would appreciate it."
"Uh, I don't know, you may notice a little difference, although, ahem, that's not what we are going for..."
" Ok, can you give it a facelift?"

.....Funniest thing I ever witnessed-100% true. I have heard rumors that propofol can unleash some amorous feelings, and I believe it.
wow. hope that never happens to me. that would make the f/u appt. very embarassing.
 

LastOfTheATA

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13yrs in PVT Practice

BEST TATOO: (On the mons pubis, uncovered by the pre-C-section shave) "If you won't eat it, you don't need it"

BEST ALLERGY: Computer air

BEST FB IN THE A$$: Cucumber. Wrapped in a condom. Surgeon pulls it out, total silence in the room as we all try to divine the meaning of the condom. Surgeon says "Well, I guess ya just can't trust a cucumber."

BEST FOOT-IN-MOUTH: putting in epidural on hispanic english-speaking lady with large lower back tatoo that reads "Miguel". Father-type person speaks no English and proceeds to faint during the procedure. I start with the "Miguel are you okay? Miguel can you hear me?" routine. Lady turns head during middle of contraction and admonishes me "His name is JUAN!". Oh, my bad. Bet he liked looking at that tat during those special times!
 

LastOfTheATA

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BEST FAINTING DAD: Usual hard-case, tough-guy husband doesn't want to leave the room during labor epidural. Of course he goes down, bouncing of the bed for a soft landing. We lay him on the couch and get him some juice. Turn our backs and hear "THUNK" again. He had sat up, fainted and hit his head on the window sill behind the couch. Now he's bleeding like a stuck pig, goes to ER and misses the delivery. Also he took a dump in his pants during that vagal burst! Not so tough with a poopy diaper!
 

VentdependenT

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BEST FAINTING DAD: Usual hard-case, tough-guy husband doesn't want to leave the room during labor epidural. Of course he goes down, bouncing of the bed for a soft landing. We lay him on the couch and get him some juice. Turn our backs and hear "THUNK" again. He had sat up, fainted and hit his head on the window sill behind the couch. Now he's bleeding like a stuck pig, goes to ER and misses the delivery. Also he took a dump in his pants during that vagal burst! Not so tough with a poopy diaper!
He didn't buy a burr hole eh?
 

jetproppilot

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13yrs in PVT Practice

BEST TATOO: (On the mons pubis, uncovered by the pre-C-section shave) "If you won't eat it, you don't need it"

BEST ALLERGY: Computer air

BEST FB IN THE A$$: Cucumber. Wrapped in a condom. Surgeon pulls it out, total silence in the room as we all try to divine the meaning of the condom. Surgeon says "Well, I guess ya just can't trust a cucumber."

BEST FOOT-IN-MOUTH: putting in epidural on hispanic english-speaking lady with large lower back tatoo that reads "Miguel". Father-type person speaks no English and proceeds to faint during the procedure. I start with the "Miguel are you okay? Miguel can you hear me?" routine. Lady turns head during middle of contraction and admonishes me "His name is JUAN!". Oh, my bad. Bet he liked looking at that tat during those special times!
These are frikkin fantastic! :thumbup:
 

Gern Blansten

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BEST TATOO: (On the mons pubis, uncovered by the pre-C-section shave) "If you won't eat it, you don't need it"
I saw one in that area that said, "Lucky you"

Strange, no one in the room felt lucky.

I saw a guy in the OR once that had "hot rod" tatooed on his...wait, I've said too much.:)
 
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173291

Today in the ED I had a patient who presented with the worst HA of his life. It started after he had an LP to r/o infection. He says he didn't have any symptoms prior to that, but the physician wanted to rule it out. Turns out the guy has HIV, herpes, AND syphilis. So, which one do u think was causing his "headache?"
 

Fastrach

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Today in the ED I had a patient who presented with the worst HA of his life. It started after he had an LP to r/o infection. He says he didn't have any symptoms prior to that, but the physician wanted to rule it out. Turns out the guy has HIV, herpes, AND syphilis. So, which one do u think was causing his "headache?"
?? Hold on, did he present with the headache before or after they LP'd him... your phrasing makes this a little unclear. In any event, if he had the HA beforehand, I'm betting the LP didn't make it much better...
 

jetproppilot

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Today in the ED I had a patient who presented with the worst HA of his life. It started after he had an LP to r/o infection. He says he didn't have any symptoms prior to that, but the physician wanted to rule it out. Turns out the guy has HIV, herpes, AND syphilis. So, which one do u think was causing his "headache?"
None of them.

The big needle in his back caused his headache.

YAY!!!! I WIN!!!!!!!:clap:
 
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