What are we getting ourselves into?

[madky]

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Hi there,

My husband and I have been lurking around the SDN boards for a couple of weeks now, and I just have to ask the question: what exactly are we getting into? 🙂

My husband and I are both 30 and 29 years old with two kids, ages 3 and 1. My husband is currently a 2LT in the army, but with many years prior service. He graduated from ASU last year and now has his heart set on medical school -- USUHS especially. We agreed that he would only apply there the first year because he really wants to stay in the Army until retirement anyway and USUHS pays him as a 2LT while he attends (I'm just not prepared to go back to scraping by on loans again quite yet..maybe next year if necessary).

I really want to support his dream and I know he would make an excellent doctor...but to be honest I am terrified! I am a stay at home mom and can't imagine having him around less than he already is (minus deployments). I don't want to be whiny and insecure, but I am nervous about what this will do to our marriage and our family.

I'm especially interested in hearing from those of you who are going through this with young kids. What have you done to stay sane and hold on to your identity (not only as a mom)?

We will follow each other anywhere, but I'd really love to hear more about what this particular adventure holds for us!

Thanks.

Leslie

 

[brotherbloat]

Hello,

I am a 27-year old married female spouse of a second year resident. I've been with my hubby through his third year of med school through present. Being with him through med school was a breeze--at least in his third and fourth year he had lots of free time, more so than a 9 to 5 working person, I thought. But internship year and the two years of residency he's been through so far have been challenging. His hours are normally 6 am-5 pm. He gets up at 5 and usually goes to sleep around 9. During the week I feel like I barely have any quality time with him, because he's usually studying in whatever free time he has at home. Weekends are a bit better--we go out Sat. night usually though all day Sunday is reserved for studying. The problem with residency isn't just the hours--it's all the studying they have to do on top of those hours. I'd say he works about 70 hours a week at the hospital. Overall, it's been very hard for me to get through these past three years because I have much more free time than he does with my 9 to 5 job. It's a challenge, and I wish you the best of luck.

-BB

 

[madky]

I've head that being a resident is where it gets really tough. His interview is next Thursday. Whew. I want him to get in. Right? 🙂

 

[brotherbloat]

I think that you just have to make sure you're ready for the committment as much as he is. I had no idea what was really involved with residency until I experienced it vicariously through my hubby. It would be a good idea maybe to chat face to face with some married residents with kids if you can find them. Make sure it's something you're willing to commit to for the next 7-8 years. Feeling lonely is tough, I've been there many, many times.

 

[efex101]

Being prior military myself and having a husband that is still active duty right now...I can tell you that me being in medical school is worse than any deployment that we have been through together. The problem lies in that although I am "here" there is hardly any time for us to just hang out. I also have two children and it *is* hard because not only are you in school X or Y hours but then you have to isolate yourself somewhere at home to study for many hours. This is just the beginning for residency will be much much worse. You can get through it no doubt but just make sure that you make friends with other military spouses, stay active in some way (gym, walking) and find a way to interact with other adults so you can get away from it all and have some fun. Good luck! btw we have many friends at USUHS and they all love it! also the good thing is that DC has tons of free stuff to go see ..so that will keep you busy.