PhD/PsyD What are your best tips for thriving in grad school?

[Glees]

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I apologize if we covered this recently, but I thought today was as good a day as any to share the nuggets of wisdom we've learned in graduate school. Let's share the love!

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I'll start: Try to put your perfectionism on the shelf. I've seen way too many peers (and me!) overcome by fears about "not doing their best," resulting in them not publishing, not applying for grants, or not taking on new opportunities. If I've learned anything from SMART goals (😉), it's that "trying our best" is rarely measurable or realistic. Moreover, our "best" is going to be based on where we're at developmentally in our career, and we're not going to get better unless we practice taking on new opportunities. I'm not saying to forgo any standards, but accept the fact that your work will never be perfect, and that your work has no chance to even be good if you don't do it.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

1. Self-Care.
2. Set goals. A mix of short-term (weeks), intermediate (months/semester), and long-term (years). Keep them visible and reference them regularly to track progress and/or revise, as appropriate.
3. Review goals with your mentor and make sure they are on board. If not, consider augmenting your goals or having an additional mentor/faculty for ones outside of your mentors scope.
4. Everyone dies someday...so remember to try and keep things in perspective.

 

[Justanothergrad]

1. Dont take life too seriously.
2. Take opportunities when they present themselves for the first 3 years to help expose you to things you may not know you love doing yet, then spend the next few learning to take on less.
3. Expect your interests to change
4. Enjoy grad school. It's fun.
5. Spend time thinking and reevaluating what you want, then plot what to do to get there over the next few weeks, months, and years.
6. Talk to your mentor openly.

 

[AbnormalPsych]

1. Dont take life too seriously.
2. Take opportunities when they present themselves for the first 3 years to help expose you to things you may not know you love doing yet, then spend the next few learning to take on less.
3. Expect your interests to change
4. Enjoy grad school. It's fun.
5. Spend time thinking and reevaluating what you want, then plot what to do to get there over the next few weeks, months, and years.
6. Talk to your mentor openly.

All this.
And this.

4. Everyone dies someday...so remember to try and keep things in perspective.

 

[smalltownpsych]

1. Self-Care.
2. Set goals. A mix of short-term (weeks), intermediate (months/semester), and long-term (years). Keep them visible and reference them regularly to track progress and/or revise, as appropriate.
3. Review goals with your mentor and make sure they are on board. If not, consider augmenting your goals or having an additional mentor/faculty for ones outside of your mentors scope.
4. Everyone dies someday...so remember to try and keep things in perspective.

+1 to number one. To expand on that a bit, it is important to understand yourself and your own psychology, family, culture, coping strategies, strengths and weaknesses. From a CBT stance, identify and examine your own core beliefs and irrational or maladaptive thought processes. From a more interpersonal stance, look at your own relational dynamics. It is easy to see the obvious pathological patterns in others such as the man who has a lot of anger toward his mother and then beats his wife. It is often more difficult to see our own more subtle patterns, but the better we are at this the better clinicians we will be.

 

[PsyDr]

Left to right, top to bottom.

 

[erg923]

Love, sex, sleep, exercise, hardwork (i.e., long days), compassion, flexibility but also assertiveness, willingness to learn, tolerance for different personalities/work styles, financial awareness (budget, save, read about retirement and investing), Scotch/beer (pick your preference). It's just a job in the end (work is called "work" for a reason). Don't let academics or some poor CMHC psychologist tell you "Well you don't do this for the money, right?" Cause, actually, like the rest of America, YOU DO!

 

[erg923]

As an aside, I was/am probably a bit of anomaly.

I really didn't do much of 1-3 a la @Therapist4Chnge. I had sufficient intellectual interest/curiosity and the credentials to get in on the front end, but what I really wanted was a career and a family. Which is probably what 95% of us want, fundamentally. I had little motivation or drive to be a "rock star" or change the face of clinical psychology. In retrospect, I probably could have been happy in half a dozen other careers, as this field can wear on you, which is probably why I am in a bit of a nontraditional role/job for a clinical Ph.D. less than 7 years out.

 

[ClinicalABA]

Set a goal of doing at least one non-school, non-classmate related thing per week (meaning that it'll likely happen a couple of times per month. It can be tough at times to separate your overall identity as a person from your work as a graduate student. It may be the only time in your life that you will be living in the area you find yourself in- go out and enjoy it. Go to that local museum or historical site. Take a walk/hike in the moutains/along the coast/in the woods. Take up camping. Join a non-school related-group or class, maybe pertaining to a current or future hobby. Meet some of the "locals."

 

[Sanman]

. Don't let academics or some poor CMHC psychologist tell you "Well you don't do this for the money, right?" Cause, actually, like the rest of America, YOU DO!

And if they do say it, ask them if they would be filling to sign over their paycheck to help a starving grad student! I got $5 on what their answer will be every time. Now that is different from saying that is not ONLY reason you do this, but money is always important nonetheless.

 

[Sanman]

Remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint and treat it as such. Grad school is only the beginning of a long journey.

 

[DailyJoy]

Self-care addition: Grad school will take over your whole life, if you let it. You should never stop living because you're in school. Take a vacation, have kids, drink another beer. Do the things that are important to you. As @Therapist4Chnge said, we all die, so don't waste 5+ years on only work. And don't buy into the collective narrative that we should be too busy to go out and explore the area we live in. Those people usually are terrible at time management.

Also, think about your values and your long term goals, set out a plan to achieve those, and say "no" to things that don't have value. If you're saying "yes" to something with no value, that takes time from a project you can be more excited about, personal time with family/friends, or time for self-care. Saying no sometimes allows for you to say yes to the more important or exciting projects/things.

 

[boomshakalaka]

To echo what others have said
1.) Don't let graduate school take over your life or fool you into thinking you're a fundamentally different person. Remember the person who liked Taco Tuesday margarita pitchers and singing "Rappers Delight" during karaoke? That's still you, so don't take yourself too seriously.
2.) Don't be a Richard. The field is remarkably small and even smaller when you start to specialize. Word travels fast.
3.) Cultivate relationships.
4.) Find a hobby or keep a hobby.

 

[biscuitsbiscuits]

And don't buy into the collective narrative that we should be too busy to go out and explore the area we live in. Those people usually are terrible at time management.

Many of those people seem to spend quite a bit of time on SDN. 😉

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

Many of those people seem to spend quite a bit of time on SDN. 😉

...we also tend to secure very competitive positions and land on the higher-end of the pay scale. Those aren’t everyone’s goals though.

 

[biscuitsbiscuits]

...we also tend to secure very competitive positions and land on the higher-end of the pay scale. Those aren’t everyone’s goals though.

Sorry- maybe that came out wrong. I was referring to current grad students who spend a lot of time on SDN yet say there is no time for life outside of grad school... but who are clearly... spending a lot of time... doing something other than grad school.

 

[PreDrANB]

Thank you all very much for sharing your wisdom!

I'm starting my clinical program in the fall and I am determined not to fall back into the toxic student lifestyle I got myself into during undergrad. I've spent two years since graduating working in research and preparing my apps, during which I have spent time finding myself again... and I do not plan to lose her in grad school. Your tips give me hope that won't happen!

 

[futureapppsy2]

Sorry- maybe that came out wrong. I was referring to current grad students who spend a lot of time on SDN yet say there is no time for life outside of grad school... but who are clearly... spending a lot of time... doing something other than grad school.

Eh, I've actually published with multiple SDNers (and met one of my best friends on here). 🙂