what do y'all think a mother should do?

[jr8047]

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hi ladies and gentlemen...i was hoping i to get some advice from y'all. see, i am a parent of a 14 year old daughter who has just gotten into an arts magnet school that she had to apply to and audition to be accepted. she is very happy that she was accepted. my problem is that if i get accepted into dental school outside of our city we would have to move and she of course would have to change schools at the beginning of her sophomore year. prior to going back to college i worked in a field that required us to move every 3 years and with the last transfer she did not adapt well to the new school and fell into depression. she is now doing well and has built a comfort zone of friends that she enjoys.
so what if i get accepted to a school outside of our area...should i decline the seat or force my daughter to move again???? 😕
my gpa is 3.6/3.4 (sci) and i will take the dat next month but i expect to do atleast 18-19 AA as my practice tests are of such.

 

[RaiderNation]

I would talk to your daughter about it. If it's more important to the both of you that you go to dental school, then move. But if you both decide that moving would all but destroy her life, maybe you should wait another year if you dont get into the state school.

 

[Comet208]

Wow, that is a very deliacte situation there. The ultimate decision will be very hard to make and will require compromising and understanding on all sides. It is clear that at age 14 someone for sure needs at least one close parent or a guardian above her to hlep her going through things.. that is a rough age. I wonder if she can stay with her dad for the next 3 years. If you are still married, I'd say it is best if only you moved away. You will have less to worry about and at the same time your husband and doughter will not have to move. If that is not possible, i wonder if she can stay with a close aunt/uncle/grand parent or someone that she would be comfortable enough staying with and sharing concerns and seeking advice as they come up.
Worst case scenario, she will have to transfer to another art school or you will have to transfer after first year of dental school (if your school allows it). But for now, lets kill the DAT and concentrate on your interviews so you can get accepted to your top choice. I'd set up a meeting with the dean of admissions even before they reviewed your file to share with him/her your situation. your GPA is really good and most likely no one will have to move or compromise. best of luck to you.

 

[Irene010]

hi ladies and gentlemen...i was hoping i to get some advice from y'all. see, i am a parent of a 14 year old daughter who has just gotten into an arts magnet school that she had to apply to and audition to be accepted. she is very happy that she was accepted. my problem is that if i get accepted into dental school outside of our city we would have to move and she of course would have to change schools at the beginning of her sophomore year. prior to going back to college i worked in a field that required us to move every 3 years and with the last transfer she did not adapt well to the new school and fell into depression. she is now doing well and has built a comfort zone of friends that she enjoys.
so what if i get accepted to a school outside of our area...should i decline the seat or force my daughter to move again???? 😕
my gpa is 3.6/3.4 (sci) and i will take the dat next month but i expect to do atleast 18-19 AA as my practice tests are of such.

Your gpa is pretty solid, and 18-19 DAT is solid enough to support you gpa, so if you can pull that off on the real thing (which for me, I surprised myself and did better on the real thing than on my practice tests), then you should be good to go. If you don't mind my asking, what is your state school?

 

[dWiz]

hi ladies and gentlemen...i was hoping i to get some advice from y'all. see, i am a parent of a 14 year old daughter who has just gotten into an arts magnet school that she had to apply to and audition to be accepted. she is very happy that she was accepted. my problem is that if i get accepted into dental school outside of our city we would have to move and she of course would have to change schools at the beginning of her sophomore year. prior to going back to college i worked in a field that required us to move every 3 years and with the last transfer she did not adapt well to the new school and fell into depression. she is now doing well and has built a comfort zone of friends that she enjoys.
so what if i get accepted to a school outside of our area...should i decline the seat or force my daughter to move again???? 😕
my gpa is 3.6/3.4 (sci) and i will take the dat next month but i expect to do atleast 18-19 AA as my practice tests are of such.

as a kid i went through this more than a few times, i was forced to change schools 4 times, and it can have an emotional toll on you. Mostly about feeling uncomfortable in a new environment, not knowing anyone...but I guess it depends on a childs personality as well, i was really shy so it was tougher for me

 

[jr8047]

Your gpa is pretty solid, and 18-19 DAT is solid enough to support you gpa, so if you can pull that off on the real thing (which for me, I surprised myself and did better on the real thing than on my practice tests), then you should be good to go. If you don't mind my asking, what is your state school?

my state school is texas..thanks for your encouraging reply!

 

[jr8047]

as a kid i went through this more than a few times, i was forced to change schools 4 times, and it can have an emotional toll on you. Mostly about feeling uncomfortable in a new environment, not knowing anyone...but I guess it depends on a childs personality as well, i was really shy so it was tougher for me

this is exactly what i'm afraid of for her. i think i will have to put her needs b4 mine and make a solid plan B. 🙁

 

[Dr. Future]

this is exactly what i'm afraid of for her. i think i will have to put her needs b4 mine and make a solid plan B. 🙁

I was a military brat and I moved 6 different times in 12 years, including a different country. Sure it is tough at first but it is not that difficult to adjust, if your daughter is supportive then you should do what is best for both of you. I am sure for the past 14 years of her life you have been putting her needs before yours. If you really want to become a dentist and you get accepted to a school wherever it might be (which I am sure you will 👍 ) she will adjust, and things will turn out just fine. Good luck!

 

[Dental Mom]

I have the same dilema 🙁

My son is in the best school in the county. It's a Charter school and has an advanced program. There are 10,000 applicants a year! My other son goes to the best Montessori school in my area.

Once I apply, my children will be about 5 & 9. I live 20 mins from NOVA and that's my #1 choice.

If we have to move, I'll be heart broken becuase of their school. But they will adjust just fine.

As a child a went to 6 schools total and every time I adjusted very well. Even as a teenager. Of course it felt like the end of the world to leave friends or family behind. I hated *girls only schools*, so for 7th grade my mama offered boys and girls school with jeans as uniform! That was my best school year!

Try a councelor that can help her adjusting to a new place again. Been a teenager is really hard in USA, I didn't grew up here. I hope everything works out for your family.

So if you move, maybe there's something fun that you two can do together. Dental school will take a big chunk of your time, but we moms can always find the free time somehow.

And if your financial situation allows, enrrolled her in a private school. Classes are much smaller, parents help each other looking after the kids, and the teacher spend more time with the students. They also have more control with the students.

Good luck with applying and with the DAT! You'll do great!!!!!

 

[ToothCandy4U]

I don't have much advice to give for your situation but I just wanted to wish all mothers best of luck.
I hope things work out for you.

 

[gatorchc27]

hi ladies and gentlemen...i was hoping i to get some advice from y'all. see, i am a parent of a 14 year old daughter who has just gotten into an arts magnet school that she had to apply to and audition to be accepted. she is very happy that she was accepted. my problem is that if i get accepted into dental school outside of our city we would have to move and she of course would have to change schools at the beginning of her sophomore year. prior to going back to college i worked in a field that required us to move every 3 years and with the last transfer she did not adapt well to the new school and fell into depression. she is now doing well and has built a comfort zone of friends that she enjoys.
so what if i get accepted to a school outside of our area...should i decline the seat or force my daughter to move again???? 😕
my gpa is 3.6/3.4 (sci) and i will take the dat next month but i expect to do atleast 18-19 AA as my practice tests are of such.

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm attacking you, but the way I see it, that once you have a kid, her needs come first until she's an adult (18). Once you decide to have a child you have to realize that you're wants are first priority anymore, the raising of a child in a healthy, stable enviornment is first. I realize that dentistry will probably provide at better income, but ultimately, I don't think your 14 daughter will look back at think, wow, I'm glad my mom decided to make me move. I think she'd rather look back and realize the sacrifices you made so she should grow up happy. Just my 2 cents..

 

[bigbevo34]

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm attacking you, but the way I see it, that once you have a kid, her needs come first until she's an adult (18). Once you decide to have a child you have to realize that you're wants are first priority anymore, the raising of a child in a healthy, stable enviornment is first. I realize that dentistry will probably provide at better income, but ultimately, I don't think your 14 daughter will look back at think, wow, I'm glad my mom decided to make me move. I think she'd rather look back and realize the sacrifices you made so she should grow up happy. Just my 2 cents..

I agree and if you were to get that 18 or 19 DAT, you should be good to go in Texas. With your gpa and (probable) DAT score, the Texas schools are your best chance. First things first of course, kill that DAT! good luck

 

[jr8047]

thank you all for your advice; it was very helpful. for now, i will just hope i get into baylor and proceed from there.