What do you think?

[Aeh88]

Hello everyone,



I am brand new to this site. I'm kind of nervous as I've never been very open with my concerns. Here's a little about me. I'm 27 year old mother of 4. I've been in a relationship for 6 years and I've always wanted to become a doctor. I have a full time night job and an associates degree in Pharmacy Technology.

After having my first child at a young age I thought I'd never become a doctor and at my families urging I went to college and became a pharmacy technician and was never more miserable. I prayed to God often about whether or not to return to school for pre-med and it was never a good time due to lack of finances.

On May 22nd 2011 an EF5 tornado tore through our town and killed over 161 people leaving my entire family homeless and some injured while others didn't live. Doctors were running through the streets like mad helping the injured. Praise God. While no one knew what to do here they came out of the wood work.

Now that my youngest is 2 and we're in a good spot financially I decided to pray to God about going back to school to become a doctor and the next morning I saw on Facebook that they are building a medical school right here in my home town where our hospital had been destroyed by the tornado.

My question is, my youngest would be 6 and my oldest would be 12 in my first year of medical school. My parents said that if I decided to pursue this dream I've had all of my life that I would literally sacrifice being a mother to my kids as I will have no time for them because I'll be consumed by my studies.

My parents also said that doctors have to give up on everything they enjoy to become a doctor. They don't have hobbies or time for anything but work and sleep. He also said most students are about 22 when they apply. I will be 30. I'm very nervous if this is true but I would love to know if it's doable (being a good mother and a good student). Anything would help. I'm really at a cross roads in my life. There is nothing else I want to do as a career. Thank you all so much.

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[gracie369]

I started med school in my early 30s. Your parents are 100% correct. You would essentially be mentally, emotionally "checked out" from your family for about 11 years (4yrs undergrad, 4yrs med school, 3yrs minimum residency). All of those years require a ridiculous amount of time and effort. Your kids are at an age where they really need mom. Look into RN to NP or PA degrees. They allow you to "get out" in significantly less time. I would also talk to your doctor (or others that have been through med school/residency) and ask them for their opinion about your situation. I remained single w/o kids into my residency and honestly could not imagine going through all of these years with 4 young kids. The best thing you could do now is educate yourself about the details of MD, PA and NP degrees and see which one would work best for your situation.

 

[MightBeACylon439]

I'm starting in July at 31, so the age isn't really an issue. However, I have my families and my wife's FULL support. THIS IS HUGE. Would your parents support your decision? It doesn't sound like it since they are more trying to talk you out of it (or at least thats what it sounds like). How about the person you are in a relationship with? You won't really have time for him (or her?) either, would this person support you and your goals?

These are tough discussions you will need to have with these people, without this support, it could make following your dream nearly impossible.

 

[Darth Doc]

I have 6 kids ages 16-8 and am a first year medical student. My situation is different than yours because I'm already a physician assistant, so that makes things a little easier - but not as much as I'd hoped. It is doable. My kids don't feel neglected, but I'm NOT there for them the way I would be if I wasn't in medical school. There is a difficult balance I try to keep.

A couple of random thoughts:

With kids ages 6-12 I think it's easier than having babies. Older kids understand better. And they're better able to do things for themselves when you have to study and can't get them that cup of water.

Do you have any medical shadowing experience? Medical school is a big commitment and you want to make sure you really like the reality of what medicine is. People work hard at many jobs. I've known working poor who worked 2-3 jobs to make ends meet - more hours a day than a doctor. You need to do more research to see if it's right for you. No one here can answer whether it's worth it to you. Just know we've all decided it's worth it to us.

I appreciate your God references more than many on SDN. That being said, I recommend you decrease how often you talk about God in a short paragraph if you're planning on going to medical school (unless you're applying to LUCOM). Although he is apparently a big part of your life, writing (or speaking) as you did creates a less than favorable impression to many people that will make it harder for you to get into medical school.

 

[efex101]

your mother is correct, and only YOU can decide if it is worth it. Medicine is ALL consuming period. Medical school is much easier then residency. You will be ABSENT even if physically there and your children WILL miss out that is the way it is and only you can decide if you are willing to make that sacrifice. Kids may NOT understand or MAY understand you do NOT know the outcome until it happens. Good luck.

 

[Aeh88]

I started med school in my early 30s. Your parents are 100% correct. You would essentially be mentally, emotionally "checked out" from your family for about 11 years (4yrs undergrad, 4yrs med school, 3yrs minimum residency). All of those years require a ridiculous amount of time and effort. Your kids are at an age where they really need mom. Look into RN to NP or PA degrees. They allow you to "get out" in significantly less time. I would also talk to your doctor (or others that have been through med school/residency) and ask them for their opinion about your situation. I remained single w/o kids into my residency and honestly could not imagine going through all of these years with 4 young kids. The best thing you could do now is educate yourself about the details of MD, PA and NP degrees and see which one would work best for your situation.

Thank you Gracie369 for your advice. My father is a math teacher at the Prep school in town. He also Tudors students on the side. A lot of the parents of his students are physicians. I've had the opportunity to speak to several of them and one is even my parents neighbor. As much as I didn't like hearing it, they all said that medicine isn't something you should pursue if you want to be a parent because you have to dedicate your life to practicing medicine like one would dedicate their life to family. They said its definetley doable as they've known people with children who have but those people were completely giving up the rearing of their children to someone else. I don't know much about Nurse Practitioners or Physician assistants but I will take your advice and do some research. Thank you for your time.

 

[Aeh88]

I'm starting in July at 31, so the age isn't really an issue. However, I have my families and my wife's FULL support. THIS IS HUGE. Would your parents support your decision? It doesn't sound like it since they are more trying to talk you out of it (or at least thats what it sounds like). How about the person you are in a relationship with? You won't really have time for him (or her?) either, would this person support you and your goals?

These are tough discussions you will need to have with these people, without this support, it could make following your dream nearly impossible.

Nontrad_DO_143,

My parents have friends who are physicians and they see what they go through so that's the reason behind the discouragement. They would support my decision if I did do it but they are trying to steer me down the road to become a pharmacist. My fiancé works a 9-5 and he said becoming a doctor is not worth destroying a family. He said as long as my kids can still have a mother then he'll support me in every way he can. Thank you for your response.

 

[Aeh88]

I have 6 kids ages 16-8 and am a first year medical student. My situation is different than yours because I'm already a physician assistant, so that makes things a little easier - but not as much as I'd hoped. It is doable. My kids don't feel neglected, but I'm NOT there for them the way I would be if I wasn't in medical school. There is a difficult balance I try to keep.

A couple of random thoughts:

With kids ages 6-12 I think it's easier than having babies. Older kids understand better. And they're better able to do things for themselves when you have to study and can't get them that cup of water.

Do you have any medical shadowing experience? Medical school is a big commitment and you want to make sure you really like the reality of what medicine is. People work hard at many jobs. I've known working poor who worked 2-3 jobs to make ends meet - more hours a day than a doctor. You need to do more research to see if it's right for you. No one here can answer whether it's worth it to you. Just know we've all decided it's worth it to us.

I appreciate your God references more than many on SDN. That being said, I recommend you decrease how often you talk about God in a short paragraph if you're planning on going to medical school (unless you're applying to LUCOM). Although he is apparently a big part of your life, writing (or speaking) as you did creates a less than favorable impression to many people that will make it harder for you to get into medical school.

Darth Doc,


I appreciate your advice. I didn't realize I referred to God so much when I was writing until you mentioned it. I will pay better attention to that in the future. I appreciate your honesty. Yes I have shadowed 3 different doctors and I really enjoyed my experiences. My parents neighbor is also a doctor and I've spent a great deal of time with her. You really put things into perspective for me by comparing time away from home working regular jobs to make ends meet or time away from home working doing something you love. Thank you for your response.

 

[Aeh88]

your mother is correct, and only YOU can decide if it is worth it. Medicine is ALL consuming period. Medical school is much easier then residency. You will be ABSENT even if physically there and your children WILL miss out that is the way it is and only you can decide if you are willing to make that sacrifice. Kids may NOT understand or MAY understand you do NOT know the outcome until it happens. Good luck.

Efex101,

Thank you for your response. I appreciate your honesty.

 

[mspeedwagon]

Alright, maybe it's just me, but you didn't mention a husband anywhere in your intro. Honestly, I think that would really help give you a better answer. I mean if you are married to someone wealthy and able to stay at home with the kids or someone that needs to work long hrs every day. Also, you say your financials are ok, but does that mean you are not in debt or that you can pay for medical school without taking out loans? Also, you mention your parents opposition, but do they live close? Are they willing to help out? I think we need a more complete picture.

But, medical school is all consuming and you will be a parent that is missing in action for many years to come. You need to weigh how important being a doctor is versus spending time with your kids.

 

[Aeh88]

Alright, maybe it's just me, but you didn't mention a husband anywhere in your intro. Honestly, I think that would really help give you a better answer. I mean if you are married to someone wealthy and able to stay at home with the kids or someone that needs to work long hrs every day. Also, you say your financials are ok, but does that mean you are not in debt or that you can pay for medical school without taking out loans? Also, you mention your parents opposition, but do they live close? Are they willing to help out? I think we need a more complete picture.

But, medical school is all consuming and you will be a parent that is missing in action for many years to come. You need to weigh how important being a doctor is versus spending time with your kids.

I have a fiancé who works a normal 9-5. We paid off all of our debts on our own and recently received and unexpected inheritance. Not enough for all of medical school but enough for at least half. My parents do live close by and my mother owns a daycare while my father teaches. They are willing to help out. They have physician friends and pharmacist friends and they aren't against the idea of becoming a doctor but believe being a pharmacist is a much better option for someone with children. My parents neighbor is a doctor and she said pre-med is no sweat at all and if I went to a school that didn't require attendance for lectures then my first two years would be doable with children. She said Year 3 and beyond is going to hurt bad. She said she wouldn't encourage her children to go into medicine unless they planned their family after establishing a practice. My kids would be 16, 15, 11 and 10 in 3rd year of med school.

 

[mspeedwagon]

Alright all this information changes things from above. It sounds like you have a support network in place. Your debt would not be significant and there is a potential of going to med school in your town without having to move. At the same time, your kids will be old enough to be rather self sufficient. As you are aware, your problems with balance are coming to come in your third yr or med school (so you have to be ok with delegating away childcare and not seeing your kids much at that point).

Based on the information below, I actually disagree with the above and so go for it. At least attempt the pre-reqs part-time while working. Pharmacist is a fine career, but do what you are passionate about. I personally couldn't be a pharmacist. I'd be bored to tears.

I have a fiancé who works a normal 9-5. We paid off all of our debts on our own and recently received and unexpected inheritance. Not enough for all of medical school but enough for at least half. My parents do live close by and my mother owns a daycare while my father teaches. They are willing to help out. They have physician friends and pharmacist friends and they aren't against the idea of becoming a doctor but believe being a pharmacist is a much better option for someone with children. My parents neighbor is a doctor and she said pre-med is no sweat at all and if I went to a school that didn't require attendance for lectures then my first two years would be doable with children. She said Year 3 and beyond is going to hurt bad. She said she wouldn't encourage her children to go into medicine unless they planned their family after establishing a practice. My kids would be 16, 15, 11 and 10 in 3rd year of med school.

 

[Lady Violette]

Not much easier to 'just' go be a Nurse Practitioner or a PA. You still need a bachelor's degree to get into those two programs and they also have pre requisities so may not only be 4 yrs long. PA programs require the same pre req's as a med student in addition to the bachelor's. To be a NP you need a Master's. The trend is to get a DNP and by the time the OP is done with a bachelors (BSN) it will probably be actually required. They were talking about initiating it in 2015 but now it is delayed but it won't stay delayed forever. If you are gonna spend all that time and money and going to have to study and be "checked out" anyways, you might as well be a physician. I have a BSN and have worked as an RN for many years. Yes it would be so easy for me to just go be a NP. People say, "why don't you just be a NP" See that word "JUST" in there? That's why I am not doing it. For me its a cop out and not want I really want to do. The only benefit to being a RN would be that you get awesome patient contact experience. Med students voluteer and go be CNAs, or EMTs to get this experience that you would be getting paid better for and allow you to save money for school. I will tell you that there is NO nursing shortage like all the schools are leading students to believe and a lot of the BSN new grads are not finding jobs right out of school so it might be better for you just to work as a pharmacy tech while going to school. Make a decision that is right for you and do your research first. I went through a BSN program with 3 very young kids. I also worked 12 hr shifts on the weekends as a CNA and later a Student Nurse Extern.
You can balance life and school IF you have a good support system and you will need help. There was a student a semester behind me with 5 kids and doing very well.
I never made excuses and never missed classes or clinical or turned in papers late due to being a mom. There were plenty of single students being totally supported by their parents in our class that whined and got extensions on their papers though. I was thinking, are you serious! lol.

 

[mspeedwagon]

I should have added in above that while sdn has great advice, you may be better off on the mom md site as there will be more that have gone through it with kids on there: http://www.mommd.com.

 

[Aeh88]

Thank you so much. I appreciate your advice more than you know.

 

[Goro]

Bullcrap. I've had single moms'; as students, and moms who had to live apart from their families, and moms with kids who had to live apart from dad.

If they can do it, so can you.

My parents said that if I decided to pursue this dream I've had all of my life that I would literally sacrifice being a mother to my kids as I will have no time for them because I'll be consumed by my studies.

And they know this because they graduated from what medical school?

My parents also said that doctors have to give up on everything they enjoy to become a doctor. They don't have hobbies or time for anything but work and sleep.

So? Some of my all time best students ever were in their 30s and 40s. Last year I graduated one (a mom, yes) at 50.
He also said most students are about 22 when they apply. I will be 30.

It may take some time before the Joplin school gets up and running. AT Still is not too far away from you, nor is KCUMB, or OK-COM.

 

[SOAP_city USA]

Reading this makes me think of my own cousin (an anecdote, n=1).

When we were in high school she became a teenage mom, and a woe went through the family. My bright cousin would have no more future. She was 16 w/ a son on the way, as opposed to the both of us going to med school to be doctors. Lo and behold, neither of us would actually end up there...YET. Her baby daddy became her husband, she became a stay-at-home mom while he finished his BSN. He got a nice nurse gig they had another (a girl). Yet she felt the need to pursue it. In her mid-20's. With the support of family and her husband, she pushed onward. And after a mediocre MCAT score she was ultimately accepted to a DO school.

In the hustle-and-bustle of pre clinical (year 1 & 2) they went and had another! With the support of her school she pushed through, and ultimately matched in anesthesia at a well known university program. Now, in her mid-30's, she's a mom of 3 and makes like +$250k/year.

Aside from personal perseverance from my cousin, I did bold and underline the big key. I don't think my cousin would have ever completed her journey w/o a lot of support. I mean, she even had another kid during med school (which is crazy if you ask me, having finished med school w/ NO kids lol).

Reading that you do have some support, you might as well give it a go. If you didn't, I would say give up. What is missing out of the posts, after all this is a pre-med forum, is the fact that medical school is no exaggeration when you hear that it is tough. Having completed all 4 years of it myself, I can w/o a doubt report that! Unlike everyone else save a few others who are in or done now.

Don't take that lightly. If you are in it for $$ or lifestyle, I strongly encourage considering PA or DNP. You'll come out of med school "rode hard and put away wet" and w/ the state the practice of modern medicine is in right now, many of us sometimes find ourselves wishing we went that route. PA's and DNP/CRNA, etc are called mid-levels because you get MOST of the pay, and less of the wear (since those programs are shorter and less rigorous than medical school) to do about the same job as a doctor. Less debt too, I believe.

DO investigate that pathway before you make any further decision.

 

[Aeh88]

Not much easier to 'just' go be a Nurse Practitioner or a PA. You still need a bachelor's degree to get into those two programs and they also have pre requisities so may not only be 4 yrs long. PA programs require the same pre req's as a med student in addition to the bachelor's. To be a NP you need a Master's. The trend is to get a DNP and by the time the OP is done with a bachelors (BSN) it will probably be actually required. They were talking about initiating it in 2015 but now it is delayed but it won't stay delayed forever. If you are gonna spend all that time and money and going to have to study and be "checked out" anyways, you might as well be a physician. I have a BSN and have worked as an RN for many years. Yes it would be so easy for me to just go be a NP. People say, "why don't you just be a NP" See that word "JUST" in there? That's why I am not doing it. For me its a cop out and not want I really want to do. The only benefit to being a RN would be that you get awesome patient contact experience. Med students voluteer and go be CNAs, or EMTs to get this experience that you would be getting paid better for and allow you to save money for school. I will tell you that there is NO nursing shortage like all the schools are leading students to believe and a lot of the BSN new grads are not finding jobs right out of school so it might be better for you just to work as a pharmacy tech while going to school. Make a decision that is right for you and do your research first. I went through a BSN program with 3 very young kids. I also worked 12 hr shifts on the weekends as a CNA and later a Student Nurse Extern.
You can balance life and school IF you have a good support system and you will need help. There was a student a semester behind me with 5 kids and doing very well.
I never made excuses and never missed classes or clinical or turned in papers late due to being a mom. There were plenty of single students being totally supported by their parents in our class that whined and got extensions on their papers though. I was thinking, are you serious! lol.

That's good advice. I agree that if am going to be checked out most of the time it might as well be doing what I desire to do. That's the only way it would be worth it to me.

 

[Aeh88]

Bullcrap. I've had single moms'; as students, and moms who had to live apart from their families, and moms with kids who had to live apart from dad.

If they can do it, so can you.

My parents said that if I decided to pursue this dream I've had all of my life that I would literally sacrifice being a mother to my kids as I will have no time for them because I'll be consumed by my studies.

And they know this because they graduated from what medical school?

My parents also said that doctors have to give up on everything they enjoy to become a doctor. They don't have hobbies or time for anything but work and sleep.

So? Some of my all time best students ever were in their 30s and 40s. Last year I graduated one (a mom, yes) at 50.
He also said most students are about 22 when they apply. I will be 30.

It may take some time before the Joplin school gets up and running. AT Still is not too far away from you, nor is KCUMB, or OK-COM.

Goro,


Thank you so much. I feel like there is hope. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Your real life advice really helps.

 

[Aeh88]

Reading this makes me think of my own cousin (an anecdote, n=1).

When we were in high school she became a teenage mom, and a woe went through the family. My bright cousin would have no more future. She was 16 w/ a son on the way, as opposed to the both of us going to med school to be doctors. Lo and behold, neither of us would actually end up there...YET. Her baby daddy became her husband, she became a stay-at-home mom while he finished his BSN. He got a nice nurse gig they had another (a girl). Yet she felt the need to pursue it. In her mid-20's. With the support of family and her husband, she pushed onward. And after a mediocre MCAT score she was ultimately accepted to a DO school.

In the hustle-and-bustle of pre clinical (year 1 & 2) they went and had another! With the support of her school she pushed through, and ultimately matched in anesthesia at a well known university program. Now, in her mid-30's, she's a mom of 3 and makes like +$250k/year.

Aside from personal perseverance from my cousin, I did bold and underline the big key. I don't think my cousin would have ever completed her journey w/o a lot of support. I mean, she even had another kid during med school (which is crazy if you ask me, having finished med school w/ NO kids lol).

Reading that you do have some support, you might as well give it a go. If you didn't, I would say give up. What is missing out of the posts, after all this is a pre-med forum, is the fact that medical school is no exaggeration when you hear that it is tough. Having completed all 4 years of it myself, I can w/o a doubt report that! Unlike everyone else save a few others who are in or done now.

Don't take that lightly. If you are in it for $$ or lifestyle, I strongly encourage considering PA or DNP. You'll come out of med school "rode hard and put away wet" and w/ the state the practice of modern medicine is in right now, many of us sometimes find ourselves wishing we went that route. PA's and DNP/CRNA, etc are called mid-levels because you get MOST of the pay, and less of the wear (since those programs are shorter and less rigorous than medical school) to do about the same job as a doctor. Less debt too, I believe.

DO investigate that pathway before you make any further decision.

Do PA or CRNA's get to learn as much information as someone in medical school would? Aren't there restrictions on PA's? Thank you for your story I really enjoyed reading it.

 

[SOAP_city USA]

Do PA or CRNA's get to learn as much information as someone in medical school would? Aren't there restrictions on PA's? Thank you for your story I really enjoyed reading it.

The overarching difference between a PA education and and MD/DO education is the time commitment/devotion. PA's spend less time learning the "nuts and bolts" and the in-depth why and how of medical science. They get less time in clinical rotations. Yet they are able to do more than 1/2 the job a physician can, and get paid almost similarly.

Do you just like, "helping patients" or do you want to know all and everything about their condition and how to treat them and have a broad-differential and greater fund of knowledge? Because treating most illnesses/diseases makes a lot of what we learned in medical school overkill.

That said, because our fund of knowledge is greater and our exposure to clinical medicine is also greater via med school, we aren't as restricted as PA and other mid-levels. When the "bread and butter" case isn't so cut and dry, that's when most mid-levels will need a "bail out". That goes w/o saying that mid-levels are making great pushes towards parity and to be less restricted. Depending on where you are, there already is some decent mid-level autonomy in some states. So if you are in one of those states, is it worth it to go through medical school?

Ask yourself, is the slightly smaller fund of medical knowledge and (possibly) more restricted medical practice worth the mountains more debt and more aggravation and longer schooling??? Like I stated, some of us already finished w/ the process, knowing what we know NOW about medicine, would have probably gone the mid-level route. For parents like yourself, I've seen a lot less stress in the PA students than the MD/DO students as far as getting home to the kids, spending time w/ the spouse, etc.

If it's financial reasons, then you have almost no reason to pick med school over mid-level, unless you really want to hassle yourself further by going into a subspecialty. Generally I just feel someone these days need genuine strong aspiration to be a doctor. If you simply can't justify choosing to be a mid-level, go for it. If you can make even one justification to go to mid-level school, that's all it takes!

 

[JW2020]

PA/CRNA school is definitely something to consider if you are worried about being there for your children and growing apart from your family. Schooling is typically 3 years rather than 4 and there's no residency after you graduate. You can also switch specialties at any point (with a few exceptions), which is a luxury MDs/DOs don't have. I'd start off by shadowing/meeting with a few PAs vs MDs/DOs and compare the differences in their daily life, routine, and scope of practice. Ask about their hours and how they balance their lives. You'll get important insight that will help you make the right choice for you and your family.

 

[cabinbuilder]

I feel like you are getting really bad advice like you are abandoning your kids, etc. Just so not true. I worked my time in med school so I was in class and studying when my kids were in school too. I did our family time at dinner every night and I helped them with their homework right after dinner. I had my study group in the evening when they were winding down and going to bed. I took Friday nights and Saturdays "off" from school/studying to be with them and we did things together. My husband had flexible work schedule so he could re-arrange on the rare times I had a hard rotation. Residency for me was just like any other job where you go to work, do what you have to do and go home. Sure there where a few days every month I was away on call but those were few. It's not that hard as long as you are organized and scheduled.

 

[Aeh88]

I feel like you are getting really bad advice like you are abandoning your kids, etc. Just so not true. I worked my time in med school so I was in class and studying when my kids were in school tool. I did our family time at dinner every night and I helped them with their homework right after dinner. I had my study group in the evening when they were winding down and going to bed. I took Friday nights and Saturdays "off" from school/studying to be with them and we did things together. My husband had flexible work schedule so he could re-arrange on the rare times I had a hard rotation. Residency for me was just like any other job where you go to work, do what you have to do and go home. Sure there where a few days every month I was away on call but those were few. It's not that hard as long as you are organized and scheduled.

I am so glad you posted this. May I ask what your speciality is? I hear some residencies are more brutal than others. Did you kind of figure out how to make it all work as you went or did you find useful information on a website somewhere? Did you go to a school that didn't require attendance for lectures? I'm sorry Im bombarding you with questions but I can't believe I'm reading a response like this because I want to be home to see them before they go to sleep. Any advice would be helpful. I greatly appreciate it. Thank you for letting me know this is possible.

 

[cabinbuilder]

I am so glad you posted this. May I ask what your speciality is? I hear some residencies are more brutal than others. Did you kind of figure out how to make it all work as you went or did you find useful information on a website somewhere? Did you go to a school that didn't require attendance for lectures? I'm sorry Im bombarding you with questions but I can't believe I'm reading a response like this because I want to be home to see them before they go to sleep. Any advice would be helpful. I greatly appreciate it. Thank you for letting me know this is possible.

I am family practice. I thought residency was easy. Being on call is so much easier than being up with a newborn. You are so past that.

I just did it as I went. No website. I used to be on mommd.com a lot. Not so much anymore.

I went to LECOM where lecture is required. I cannot self study and I cannot study at home. I have to be in class to take it all in and I maximized my time there knowing that I did not have the luxury of goofing off and making time up. Too many distractions at home. I had class from 8-4. Then had study group from 6:30 to 10pm M-Th. Had group all day Sunday noon-10pm as our exams were always on Monday. Of course I did give up a lot. You have to understand that it was OK for me not to have straight A's in med school. It was OK for me to be in the middle of the class.

I will tell you that my husband is very much a house person. He did the laundry, cleaning, dishes, took the kids to school. Cooked breakfast, etc all the way through. I paid the bills and did the grocery shopping. I grew up going to the store every 3 months so that I did it in school and residency. When I got my loan checks I packed my house with 3 months worth of staples, meats, etc. I freeze everything I can. That way all he had to do was get the occasion pack of eggs and milk.

 

[Darth Doc]

There's a lot on here about midlevels getting comparable pay. They don't. The max I've heard for neurosurgical and other subspecialty midlevels is about $120k annually. Family practice docs average around $160k - family practice midlevels get $60-80 on average. It's still good money, but it's 1/2 as much as MDs. They also still take call, work long hours, and are employees. Many employers have dropped bonuses, benefits, CME money, etc... A number of midlevels I know wish they'd gone the MD route.

Really look at both midlevel and physician careers with open eyes. Then look at yourself and what you'll be happiest with. It's tough going back and you want to make the best choice you can.

The grass is always greener... is the saying. Really, every pasture has brown spots. You just have to find the pasture whose brown spots work best for you.

 

[cabinbuilder]

There's a lot on here about midlevels getting comparable pay. They don't. The max I've heard for neurosurgical and other subspecialty midlevels is about $120k annually. Family practice docs average around $160k - .

Please don't put out false numbers when you are not in the work force. This number is over 100K lower than what I made last year as family practice.

 

[Darth Doc]

Please don't put out false numbers when you are not in the work force. This number is over 100K lower than what I made last year as family practice.

My apologies if I offended you. I was quoting based on medscapes physician compensation reports. http://www.medscape.com/features/slideshow/compensation/2013/public I was remembering the 2012 numbers. I've heard from others that these numbers are low compared to people they know, but I wasn't sure if it was due to who responded to medscape or if the anecdotes were outliers. Also, if I remember correctly, you work locums, which definitely increases income. (I did work for a family practice doc who made significantly less than the medscape number due to business practices and her desire to help people whether or not they could pay. She ended up selling her practice to a hospital.)

I am current with physician assistant salaries since I have been working in that field for a while and still moonlight. I don't know any physician assistants (other than 1 who hired an MD to sign for the midlevels when he opened his own urgent care facility) who make anything close to physician salary. I don't talk to NPs much about money, but I know it varies significantly, tends to be lower than physician assistants, and also is much lower than MDs.

 

[cabinbuilder]

I am not offended but don't like when really low numbers are quoted when that doesn't have to be the case. Yes I work locums but with taxes at the end the overall take home is about the same. I just have more cash up front initially. I don't want people who love family practice not do it because those who are not in the field quote super low income numbers that are not necessarily true.

 

[Aeh88]

I am family practice. I thought residency was easy. Being on call is so much easier than being up with a newborn. You are so past that.

I just did it as I went. No website. I used to be on mommd.com a lot. Not so much anymore.

I went to LECOM where lecture is required. I cannot self study and I cannot study at home. I have to be in class to take it all in and I maximized my time there knowing that I did not have the luxury of goofing off and making time up. Too many distractions at home. I had class from 8-4. Then had study group from 6:30 to 10pm M-Th. Had group all day Sunday noon-10pm as our exams were always on Monday. Of course I did give up a lot. You have to understand that it was OK for me not to have straight A's in med school. It was OK for me to be in the middle of the class.

I will tell you that my husband is very much a house person. He did the laundry, cleaning, dishes, took the kids to school. Cooked breakfast, etc all the way through. I paid the bills and did the grocery shopping. I grew up going to the store every 3 months so that I did it in school and residency. When I got my loan checks I packed my house with 3 months worth of staples, meats, etc. I freeze everything I can. That way all he had to do was get the occasion pack of eggs and milk.

Is Family Medicine the only speciality with a bearable residency? Would you have gone with another speciality if you weren't a parent? I guess I'll have to get a SAMs membership so I can stock up every time I get a check. I didn't realize how much time grocery shopping consumes (the actual shopping, driving, putting things away) all of my children will be teenagers when residency arrives. Do you think their age would be helpful during those years? I mean that they can pitch in around the house and don't need me as much for certain things like cooking car rides etc. I know of a family practice doctor in a rural area fairly close to where I live. He owns a farm and has 5 children. The sign says (Country Doc). He seems to be very happy. It must be a great gig.

 

[cabinbuilder]

Is Family Medicine the only speciality with a bearable residency? Would you have gone with another speciality if you weren't a parent? I guess I'll have to get a SAMs membership so I can stock up every time I get a check. I didn't realize how much time grocery shopping consumes (the actual shopping, driving, putting things away) all of my children will be teenagers when residency arrives. Do you think their age would be helpful during those years? I mean that they can pitch in around the house and don't need me as much for certain things like cooking car rides etc. I know of a family practice doctor in a rural area fairly close to where I live. He owns a farm and has 5 children. The sign says (Country Doc). He seems to be very happy. It must be a great gig.

My story into family medicine is a complicated one. Since most of us only do one residency you will have to get other opinions as to what else is "cush" but then again every residency within a field is different too. My residency decisions came more from the fact that I was 37 when I graduated and I was tired, not due to the fact that I had kids.

You will need to train your teenagers to start sharing the work load of the house. The teens should be able to cook, clean, and keep the laundry going for the little ones. There is nothing wrong with that. I did that as a teen when my mom went to school. You will need more help during the teen years since they all are in before school and after school activities. Having one who drives the others around is a huge plus.

 

[Aeh88]

You've been awesome thank you for the advice.

 

[cabinbuilder]

I am not offended but don't like when really low numbers are quoted when that doesn't have to be the case. Yes I work locums but with taxes at the end the overall take home is about the same. I just have more cash up front initially. I don't want people who love family practice not do it because those who are not in the field quote super low income numbers that are not necessarily true.

You slideshow shows avg FP wages at 175K, not 160K. I personally would never take a job less than 200K. Of course it all depends on your debt load and other responsibilities (I have many).

 

[Aeh88]

Would it matter at all if I did my general educations courses at a community college and switched to university afterword? It would save me a good chunk of change. Do admission committees frown on that?

 

[efex101]

Locums work pay way more than a regular job just an fyi.

 

[petyr_baelish]

I feel like you are getting really bad advice like you are abandoning your kids, etc. Just so not true. I worked my time in med school so I was in class and studying when my kids were in school too. I did our family time at dinner every night and I helped them with their homework right after dinner. I had my study group in the evening when they were winding down and going to bed. I took Friday nights and Saturdays "off" from school/studying to be with them and we did things together. My husband had flexible work schedule so he could re-arrange on the rare times I had a hard rotation. Residency for me was just like any other job where you go to work, do what you have to do and go home. Sure there where a few days every month I was away on call but those were few. It's not that hard as long as you are organized and scheduled.

This post right here is the antidote to the panic that's all too common on these forums.

 

[cabinbuilder]

Locums work pay way more than a regular job just an fyi.

Not always, depends on the number of hours they let you work at the site and the rate of pay. If it's 40 hour week only @ $80/hr. That is the same as a perm job. I generally work 70-75 hrs/wk $100/hr. Makes a big difference.