What is the lifestyle of a doctor really like?

[Butwella]

I know doctors, especially surgeons, have this stereotype of never being home and having high divorce rates, etc. But I'm not sure if thats actually true.

The only thing holding me back from committing to Med School is that I'm worried my personal life will be nonexistent once I'm a doctor. I'm fully prepared to work longer hours than most of my friends which is understandable but, I don't want to be miserable because I never see my family. Is this stereotype true is not true or does it vary?

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[piii]

Why don't you do some shadowing and find out from real doctors?

 

[eteshoe]

Why don't you do some shadowing and find out from real doctors?

Beat me to it lol

 

[Butwella]

Why don't you do some shadowing and find out from real doctors?

I have talked to a few doctors. Most of them seem pretty happy and have good family lives. However, after doing some research online it seems that some doctors have horrible family lives so I thought maybe my experience was kind of an outliner.

 

[medic86]

I know doctors, especially surgeons, have this stereotype of never being home and having high divorce rates, etc. But I'm not sure if thats actually true.

The only thing holding me back from committing to Med School is that I'm worried my personal life will be nonexistent once I'm a doctor. I'm fully prepared to work longer hours than most of my friends which is understandable but, I don't want to be miserable because I never see my family. Is this stereotype true is not true or does it vary?

Well, for the most part, medical school + residency will be a total time suck anyway until you become an attending. Can you deal with not having a personal life for 7 to 11 years at the outset?

(yes, I'm speaking very generally, and I know there are exceptions).

 

[AnatomyGrey12]

I have talked to a few doctors. Most of them seem pretty happy and have good family lives. However, after doing some research online it seems that some doctors have horrible family lives so I thought maybe my experience was kind of an outliner.

So naturally it would make sense to ask a group of individuals who aren't doctors about the lifestyle of doctors. There are both ends of the spectrum once one gets out of residency. Go shadow some more and ask some more doctors.

 

[Butwella]

Well, for the most part, medical school + residency will be a total time suck anyway until you become an attending. Can you deal with not having a personal life for 7 to 11 years at the outset?

(yes, I'm speaking very generally, and I know there are exceptions).

I'm fine with being extremely busy during med school/residency. I guess my question is this, do any of you guys (current doctors/med students) feel that you can spend some time with your family while also furthering your education/career. I'm already extremely busy (Div 1 Track/Being fulltime student) so I'm used to not having much time. Currently, I have the weekends to spend time with friends and family and I'm completely fine with that but don't know if I am willing to give up much more than that.

 

[Bergamot]

I have talked to a few doctors. Most of them seem pretty happy and have good family lives. However, after doing some research online it seems that some doctors have horrible family lives so I thought maybe my experience was kind of an outliner.

Outlier?

Reminds me of that fun book my Malcolm Gladwell. By fun, I mean not taking his "research" too seriously.

Here's my anecdotal contribution to the original question. Half the doctors I know are never home and miss holidays, birthdays, you name it. The remainder have specialties that are conducive to work/life balance like a 4-on-4-off ER physician (married to an Anesthesiologist who works part time), an Ophthalmologist with damn-near banker's hours, and the Derm...well you probably have heard what their schedule is like.

So it can be achieved with certain specialties and working part-time. Although, the latter isn't realistic during your first decade or so of practice if you want to keep your head above water wrt interest. The Anesthesiologist I know had her school paid for which is how she pulls that off (yeah I'm jelly).

Pop-med articles say part-time is trending upward, but maybe SDN can offer some better insight.

 

[ciestar]

Outlier?

Reminds me of that fun book my Malcolm Gladwell. By fun, I mean not taking his "research" too seriously.

Here's my anecdotal contribution to the original question. Half the doctors I know are never home and miss holidays, birthdays, you name it. The remainder have specialties that are conducive to work/life balance like a 4-on-4-off ER physician (married to an Anesthesiologist who works part time), an Ophthalmologist with damn-near banker's hours, and the Derm...well you probably have heard what their schedule is like.

So it can be achieved with certain specialties and working part-time. Although, the latter isn't realistic during your first decade or so of practice if you want to keep your head above water wrt interest. The Anesthesiologist I know had her school paid for which is how she pulls that off (yeah I'm jelly).

Pop-med articles say part-time is trending upward, but maybe SDN can offer some better insight.

Ive noticed that with ophtho! I shadowed two and both basically work a ton. One has a private practice so can set his own hours should he need to.

Im with you on this..it's definitely specialty dependent and where youre at in your career. So if youre looking into surgery, dont expect as much of that "personal" life. Family medicine? Probably a lot more.

 

[rednote]

lol just don't go into neurosurgery and you'll be fine

 

[GCS-15]

Get some shadowing done. Most of them are normal people, just like you and me. They're friendly, like their jobs, have hobbies outside of medicine, also have doubts and their own fears. But they're extremely hardworking and many doctors I've met can't imagine doing anything else. Of course you're going to meet doctors that work 100+ hours a week, are miserable, don't have a social life, are divorced, etc, but there are outliers in any profession.

 

[boshtrich]

I'm fine with being extremely busy during med school/residency. I guess my question is this, do any of you guys (current doctors/med students) feel that you can spend some time with your family while also furthering your education/career. I'm already extremely busy (Div 1 Track/Being fulltime student) so I'm used to not having much time. Currently, I have the weekends to spend time with friends and family and I'm completely fine with that but don't know if I am willing to give up much more than that.

Depending on what you do, you may only have one full weekend off per month.

 

[DRsmartypants]

Shadow doctors, however let me say this very slowly.....medicine is all about sacrifice. To achieve success in medicine, you may have to lose touch with friends, family, your social life will suffer(to what degree is the question), post-residency, the majority of doctors aren't working more then 70-80 hours of week. I emphasize the majority since some specialties like neurosurgery could force you to work more hours, or maybe your specific job will. If you really want it, do it. Hours at least in my opinion is a factor, but is a crappy factor when I compare my dream of becoming a physician to doing anything else which I'd be unhappy. Medicine is the thing that I wake up, get excited to learn more about every day, there are certainly days where I am sleep-deprived, stressed, where I question why I am doing this, but knowing medicine is simply the culmination of all my studying and experiences is what makes me happy and how i Know it is worth it.

 

[Deleted member 755173]

Shadow doctors, however let me say this very slowly.....medicine is all about sacrifice. To achieve success in medicine, you may have to lose touch with friends, family, your social life will suffer(to what degree is the question), post-residency, the majority of doctors aren't working more then 70-80 hours of week. I emphasize the majority since some specialties like neurosurgery could force you to work more hours, or maybe your specific job will. If you really want it, do it. Hours at least in my opinion is a factor, but is a crappy factor when I compare my dream of becoming a physician to doing anything else which I'd be unhappy. Medicine is the thing that I wake up, get excited to learn more about every day, there are certainly days where I am sleep-deprived, stressed, where I question why I am doing this, but knowing medicine is simply the culmination of all my studying and experiences is what makes me happy and how i Know it is worth it.

Are you a neurosurgeon? Or what kind of physician?

 

[DRsmartypants]

I'm a medical student, M3.

 

[The Knife & Gun Club]

As much as I hate to admit it this scares me alot too. Ive spent enough time around doctors to know that some have very normal work weeks and lives, but others have no semblance of a normal schedule.

My only fear is that what I end up liking won't be a specialty that is conducive with things like kids baseball games, anniversaries, whatever.

I remember watching a surgery one Friday night and the surgeon told me that he was missing his daughter's 16th birthday dinner to be there operating. And he'd already worked over 80 hours that week. And he was nearly 60 years old. It was seriously eye opening just how much some people pour into their career in this field.

 

[md-2020]

As much as I agree that medicine requires great sacrifices let's not forget that other high powered professions are also often the same. Worked any banker 9-5's lately? How about 120 hour work weeks making spreadsheets and powerpoints? You haven't lived until you do!

If you want to be successful in any profession, there's a price.

 

[The Knife & Gun Club]

As much as I agree that medicine requires great sacrifices let's not forget that other high powered professions are also often the same. Worked any banker 9-5's lately? How about 120 hour work weeks making spreadsheets and powerpoints? You haven't lived until you do!

If you want to be successful in any profession, there's a price.

So true. All my friends/family in Finance or Law work miserable hours doing the most mindless crap.

At my brother's office (Investment Banking), they had to get a "Suicide Jar" to get the analysts to stop talking about offing themselves (Think "swear jar" but instead for if you talk about committing suicide)

 

[Goro]

You beat me to it!!!

Why don't you do some shadowing and find out from real doctors?

 

[piii]

You beat me to it!!!

I beat Goro, I win!

 

[Astra]

I beat Goro, I win!

A new challenger approaches... Its LizzyM

 

[osckey]

Depends on specialty.

The surgeon I shadowed was in the OR late during the days when not in his clinic. He lived comfortably but was concerned about the toll on family life. He eventually said I should not go to surgery because it was hard on him and his family and he really didn't wish the same for me.

The ER docs I shadowed and then worked with were all really tired. The erratic hours took a toll on them. However, they were the ones that got to play hard when all they had their time off. Several of them took at least 10 international vacations a year due to being able to bend their schedule and get their shifts.

As for IM, I use my dad who's an internist/pediatrician (med/peds)and my personal experience as the basis for how I view IM. He runs his own practice and most days is able to be done by 5:30. Of course, he still has to be the answering service for when the office is closed so even though he's home his phone tends to light up with patients calling after hours. In the good old days (when I was younger) I remember my dad making A LOT of hospital visits as he had admitting privileges at several hospitals. Nowadays, he prefers to keep his hospital visits low although he will still visit and manage the care of any patient from his practice while they are in a hospital at which he has privileges (a rare sight with all of the hospitalists trying to poach admits). Given all of this, he finds time to enjoy the toys he can afford on a physicians salary and we've lived very comfortably.

I'll tell you one thing I learned about working full time at other jobs before working within the medical field: every job out there sucks at some point or another. However, many jobs don't reimburse you for lifestyle as well as medicine (although we've got to worry about the decline in reimbursements and yada yada yada).