To be honest, I find this all very upsetting. The program I like best I have never had to disemble or BS or say anything or do anything but just be my best. They are an excellent program and have never been anything but supportive and polite. I have always felt at home there and like I could really thrive.
Other programs have done this:
sent me emails basically demanding to know where I am placing them, sent me numerous emails, cards and letter and then not responded to me when I politely expressed interest and told them I was very interested in
them.
Plus, every permutation in between. I thnk it is all BS to be honest.
I don't like being forced into a corner, nor do I like being ignored (after having been wooed). This is a very distressing process and I find it upsetting to pulled back and forth and to realize that this is a serious committment for the next three years - and am I making the best choices or doing the right things? If do not respond 'correctly,' does that move me down someone's list? what is the 'correct' response? Ack! this is stressful stuff.
I don't mean to be dishonest or unprofessional or whatever, but it is really hard to know what to do or say sometimes. And the stakes can be high.