I'm getting married to another medical student. We go to two different medical schools in Philly and we met at the beginning of first year. We got pretty serious within a few months of dating, and were practically living together for the last six months of first year. Now engaged, we're moving in together for second year and we look forward to more good times.
We had a great time together this past year. Yeah, our lives mostly centered around school and school events. However, neither of us were particularly fond of showing up for class. Further, we found time to study together all the time. Even though we were usually studying something different, just being able to be around each other brightened our days. We often went out to coffeeshops and bookstores to study together. My conversations with her would consist of foot play with her every hour or two, but it was nice anyway. For me, even if we couldn't see each other all day until very late, the fact that I could snuggle with her in my bed at night brightened my whole day.
We really made time for ourselves when we could. We always had nice long dinners with alcohol whenever we could. Almost always we could find a couple hours in the day to be together without school. We watched movies or went out or whatever. The weekends were a good time to either cram for an exam or do minimal studying and go out together. We went skiing probably a half dozen times this past year. We also did some day trips.
I don't think first year is that bad. Though, both of us are not particularly worried about being in the tops of our classes. If there were rankings she'd probably be in the top 50th percentile and I'd be somewhere near the bottom
Both partners need to compromise. The medical student needs to recognize that family is more important and the partner needs to realize that they may be busy more and their schedules will be hectic. When all is said and done, I never had to spend a whole night alone from my SO and the total amount of time I put into med school was probably like a full-time job. What more can I ask for?
Sure, there's been some difficult times. We both get stressed before our exams. I'd say that's about the only time we get into arguments
. But, I think we'd both rather be doing it together than not to have each other. If the other person is irritable you need to recognize that and be supportive, not defensive! This is words to live by for ALL relationships, and medical school is likely to test that. Both parties should look at themslves IMO. The person who's cranky should realize it before too long, and the person on the receiving end should be supportive despite the occasional flak.
The future is never easy. I'm an MSTP (MD/PhD) and she's a HPSP (Army). We're going to graduate at different times and have different expectations placed on us at different times. I think the key, as is the key with a good marriage, is flexibility and communication. I would leave my program if she couldn't be near me. We both want to choose residencies that will allow us time for family. We both wanted to be surgeons before we met each other. I think we've both tossed that idea completely.
