When did you know?

[Whatsamatta U]

At what point did you all know that you had to be a doctor? That all this hard work is worth it? I'm studying for the MCAT right now and I definitly miss having some free time without stress.

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[relentless11]

At what point did you all know that you had to be a doctor? That all this hard work is worth it? I'm studying for the MCAT right now and I definitly miss having some free time without stress.

I knew I wanted to be a physician after high school. Never turned back since then. Even after taking med school courses for my PhD, and now going to face a qualifying exam with a few MD's on the commitee, I'm still proud and excited about all the hard work that I put into it, and all the work that I will put into it when i go to med school upon completing my degree.

For me, I'm not even bothered by the hardwork anymore. Free time stresses me out, since i feel unproductive. Don't get me wrong, I make time to do sports regardless of the amount of stuff to do and learn. But I can say that I have NEVER questioned if the hard work was worth it, nor missing free time without stress. Its all about seeing things in a positive way and time management.

 

[Law2Doc]

At what point did you all know that you had to be a doctor? That all this hard work is worth it? I'm studying for the MCAT right now and I definitly miss having some free time without stress.

I'm sure people know their destiny at different times -- but usually you have the doctor notion figured out before you sit for the MCAT. At any rate, if you go the medical school route, you will look back at studying for the MCAT as a joke in terms of stress and free time. It doesn't get easier for many years (but hopefully you enjoy it more). Good luck.

 

[medworm]

It depends on the person. Speaking for myself (and I think there are a few with the same perspective), I questioned it a lot through the entire process. (I never had the desire to become a physician until my twenties, and I arrived by the way of intellectual curiosity. So b/c I have so many interests, I don't feel that doctoring is the only career for me.) Anyway, I'm not a gregarious type, but for a year I didn't have time for anything other than studying! No weekend trips, very little time for friends, exercise, reading, and personal projects.

So if this helps you at all, always sneak in little breaks between studying. Whatever it takes to give you a sense of accomplishment. For me, it was learning to cook and running. (Never skimp on the exercise!)

If you are seriously doubting that you want to sacrifice a normal lifestyle, then I suggest you to talk to your friends and family. Or you can PM me if you want to discuss your specific situation.

Good karma!

 

[Beau Geste]

When I was 7.

I just took a detour.

 

[thirdunity]

A multi-part process for me...
This feels like one of those "How did you know you were gay? How old were you?" kind of essays

I am telling the whole damn thing because if I do succeed in getting to med school, I will be one of those stories I would want people who don't believe in themselves, to know about.

1. I have always been interested in medicine and biosciences. In fact, I was a very geeky "egghead" type of kid who preferred to read in my room instead of play. I always came back to medicine as an interest. I liked to play surgeon with my stuffed animals, and do operations on them. I liked stories about doctors and patients. I liked science books and books about diseases (that weren't meant for kids). However, for some reason, people thought this was really weird. As a child, I was told that my interests were weird, and that I was weird for having academic type of interests at all. I didn't have many friends as a kid. Adults weren't always much friendlier. When I hit 13, in fact, one of my mom's boyfriends said about my science interests, "That's nice, but you'll want a boyfriend one day, and that (science) isn't very romantic."
There was also the fact that in my teens, it seemed like I had to be a different person in order for boys to like me.
Then there was the constant feeling of being misunderstood. On and off throughout my late childhood and early teens, I was fascinated with death and dying, and various psychologists were convinced that I had suicidal ideation. Other kids weren't interested in anything I was into, they were interested in... well, typical kid-stuff. I learned to keep quiet about my interests and keep to myself, only doing the "small talk" thing with other people and pretending I was a different person, the person others seemed to want me to be. It's only this year (at 32) that I feel OK with someone seeing me read a medical book. All these years I never considered myself a future physician, just a computer person with a weird hobby.

2. I never told anyone I wanted to be a doctor, because not very many people I knew seemed to believe in me. It was one of those things where, I would say to myself, "Well, if I were a different person - from the right background, a good student."
All my life, people thought I was crazy or dumb. I had various problems all through grade school, I dropped out of high school, and I ended up with serious anxiety that kept me from finishing college in my 20s. I thought I had learning disabilities (which turned out to just be anxiety). After a course of therapy and medication, and some very heavy tutoring, I discovered that not much really was wrong with me, and I came to believe I actually *could* get through the math.

3. The blood-soaked surgeon costume, Halloween, 2000

4. Any number of doctor/healer characters in various RPGs (yes - I AM A GEEK)

5. Pathguy.com.

6. All the medical-narrative books in my bookshelf over the years

7. Retraining in phlebotomy and finding I was comfortable around medical people in a way in which I'm not comfortable in other environments. If I'm working in a hospital and people see me reading a medical book, it isn't "weird". However, when I worked in computers, I killed whole afternoons in medical-related websites.

8. Being in EMT class and only feeling like I had to know more.

8. Knowing for years that I could only be happy in something I could really sink my teeth into, and if the right field came along, then I could live a fairly austere life (little money, no romantic partner, no children) if it meant I got to be in that field. I need something which will be fairly demanding of me. When I'm in something that's very, very demanding, I feel like my life has structure and purpose.

9. After the course of therapy and tutoring, I realized nothing was really stopping me from doing what I wanted to do, but myself, and I would really be unhappy if I did anything else.

10. Discovering that I am an extremely motivated person deep down, under the slackerhood and frustration all these years.

Anyway - I realize that's practically my life story - but there it is.

By the way I am 32, and only made the decision to go into medicine, this year.

I was wandering around my campus one day, wondering what the hell to do with myself. I was feeling frustrated. I had an appointment with a learning disability counselor that day. But right before going into my appointment, I found an abandoned biology textbook sitting on a table, mine for the taking.

Not long after that, my mom started telling me about people who went back to school at a later age to become doctors. She has been wonderful through this.

I still have not shared my decision with many other people, because if I change my mind or something happens, I don't want to feel like a fool. Part of me is still embarassed about wanting to be a doctor, for some reason. Even around pre-meds and med students... for fear some of them will say "Dude, you are too weird to be a doctor." Even though nobody really thinks I am weird anymore, I have many friends, and get along with lots of people.

So, I just keep to myself, study hard, and don't tell very many people.

 

[Whatsamatta U]

I think what my problem has been is that while technically I'm not a non-trad student at 22, it's been so long since I've taken the pre-reqs that the mountain of information on this damn MCAT is quite overwhelming and often depressing.

For me, the decision to be a doctor has been a tough one. I've always known that being a doctor, particularly primary care, is the only thing I can see myself doing. If things got rough, as they are now, I'd look at other fields and interests and nothing appealed. I not only have an immense interest in medicine, but I am very attracted to the nature of the physicians role in the patient's life (but, I have NO interest in research). Nevertheless, my friend asked me today, "Are you sure you want to be studying for the next 8 years or so?" And looking at my exhaustion and overwhelmed feelings from this MCAT, I start to second guess myself again.

But, and this is to you Law2doc, I know it won't get easier, but my hope is that nothing is like the MCAT, a test on pre-med science classes that have (virtually) no use to me in the future.

Hopefully, the stress that comes next is much more satisfying...

 

[jetproppilot]

A multi-part process for me...
This feels like one of those "How did you know you were gay? How old were you?" kind of essays

I am telling the whole damn thing because if I do succeed in getting to med school, I will be one of those stories I would want people who don't believe in themselves, to know about.

1. I have always been interested in medicine and biosciences. In fact, I was a very geeky "egghead" type of kid who preferred to read in my room instead of play. I always came back to medicine as an interest. I liked to play surgeon with my stuffed animals, and do operations on them. I liked stories about doctors and patients. I liked science books and books about diseases (that weren't meant for kids). However, for some reason, people thought this was really weird. As a child, I was told that my interests were weird, and that I was weird for having academic type of interests at all. I didn't have many friends as a kid. Adults weren't always much friendlier. When I hit 13, in fact, one of my mom's boyfriends said about my science interests, "That's nice, but you'll want a boyfriend one day, and that (science) isn't very romantic."
There was also the fact that in my teens, it seemed like I had to be a different person in order for boys to like me.
Then there was the constant feeling of being misunderstood. On and off throughout my late childhood and early teens, I was fascinated with death and dying, and various psychologists were convinced that I had suicidal ideation. Other kids weren't interested in anything I was into, they were interested in... well, typical kid-stuff. I learned to keep quiet about my interests and keep to myself, only doing the "small talk" thing with other people and pretending I was a different person, the person others seemed to want me to be. It's only this year (at 32) that I feel OK with someone seeing me read a medical book. All these years I never considered myself a future physician, just a computer person with a weird hobby.

2. I never told anyone I wanted to be a doctor, because not very many people I knew seemed to believe in me. It was one of those things where, I would say to myself, "Well, if I were a different person - from the right background, a good student."
All my life, people thought I was crazy or dumb. I had various problems all through grade school, I dropped out of high school, and I ended up with serious anxiety that kept me from finishing college in my 20s. I thought I had learning disabilities (which turned out to just be anxiety). After a course of therapy and medication, and some very heavy tutoring, I discovered that not much really was wrong with me, and I came to believe I actually *could* get through the math.

3. The blood-soaked surgeon costume, Halloween, 2000

4. Any number of doctor/healer characters in various RPGs (yes - I AM A GEEK)

5. Pathguy.com.

6. All the medical-narrative books in my bookshelf over the years

7. Retraining in phlebotomy and finding I was comfortable around medical people in a way in which I'm not comfortable in other environments. If I'm working in a hospital and people see me reading a medical book, it isn't "weird". However, when I worked in computers, I killed whole afternoons in medical-related websites.

8. Being in EMT class and only feeling like I had to know more.

8. Knowing for years that I could only be happy in something I could really sink my teeth into, and if the right field came along, then I could live a fairly austere life (little money, no romantic partner, no children) if it meant I got to be in that field. I need something which will be fairly demanding of me. When I'm in something that's very, very demanding, I feel like my life has structure and purpose.

9. After the course of therapy and tutoring, I realized nothing was really stopping me from doing what I wanted to do, but myself, and I would really be unhappy if I did anything else.

10. Discovering that I am an extremely motivated person deep down, under the slackerhood and frustration all these years.

Anyway - I realize that's practically my life story - but there it is.

By the way I am 32, and only made the decision to go into medicine, this year.

I was wandering around my campus one day, wondering what the hell to do with myself. I was feeling frustrated. I had an appointment with a learning disability counselor that day. But right before going into my appointment, I found an abandoned biology textbook sitting on a table, mine for the taking.

Not long after that, my mom started telling me about people who went back to school at a later age to become doctors. She has been wonderful through this.

I still have not shared my decision with many other people, because if I change my mind or something happens, I don't want to feel like a fool. Part of me is still embarassed about wanting to be a doctor, for some reason. Even around pre-meds and med students... for fear some of them will say "Dude, you are too weird to be a doctor." Even though nobody really thinks I am weird anymore, I have many friends, and get along with lots of people.

So, I just keep to myself, study hard, and don't tell very many people.

Rock On, Dudette.

I had the same feelings during paramedic school way-back-when.

Now I'm Chief of Anesthesiology at a respected hospital in the southeast.

It was all worth it.

Keep working.

Sincerely,

Jetproppilot MD

 

[Law2Doc]

But, and this is to you Law2doc, I know it won't get easier, but my hope is that nothing is like the MCAT, a test on pre-med science classes that have (virtually) no use to me in the future.

Hopefully, the stress that comes next is much more satisfying...

Sure med school is different than the MCAT. But you don't want to make your yardstick of interest to be whether you will use something in the future. Because a lot of med school science is background stuff you will not use in the future either. Yet you still have to memorize it for your tests and then the boards.
If your heart is in it, you will be fine. If there's someplace else you'd rather be (than a lecture hall or library or hospital for the next 7+ years), you may struggle. Good luck.

 

[Pretty POHA]

So, I just keep to myself, study hard, and don't tell very many people.

Thanks for sharing this! I think you're fabulous!
Ash

 

[Whatsamatta U]

If there's someplace else you'd rather be (than a lecture hall or library or hospital for the next 7+ years), you may struggle. Good luck.

I don't think every med student says, "Hey, let's go to med school so I can spend another 4 years in a lecture hall and library." I think it is a pretty fair statement that med students aren't going to med school to be in a library but rather to become doctors.

So, yes, being in a library and lecture hall for at least the next 4 years does scare me, but don't we do it to become doctors, not for the thrill of spending our saturdays with those sexy librarians?

 

[relentless11]

But, and this is to you Law2doc, I know it won't get easier, but my hope is that nothing is like the MCAT, a test on pre-med science classes that have (virtually) no use to me in the future.

Hopefully, the stress that comes next is much more satisfying...

Although I can sympathise with your views, a lot of the things on the MCAT provide very useful background to your future. I found a lot of the OChem to be a good background in pharmacology/toxicology, while physics to be very important in respiratory physiology. A good understanding of the fundamental sciences will get you very far. As an undergrad, I didn't see this connection...but now in retrospect, its clear that a solid background is very application to your future.

On that note, i believe though, at the end of your second year, you will take USMLE Step 1. Its description is:

"Step 1 consists of multiple-choice questions prepared by examination committees composed of faculty members, teachers, investigators, and clinicians with recognized prominence in their respective fields. Committee members are selected to provide broad representation from the academic, practice, and licensing communities across the United States and Canada. The test is designed to measure basic science knowledge. Some questions test the examinee's fund of information per se, but the majority of questions require the examinee to interpret graphic and tabular material, to identify gross and microscopic pathologic and normal specimens, and to solve problems through application of basic science principles. " ( http://www.usmle.org/step1/intro.htm )

USMLE Step 1 will test you on what you have learned in your first 2 years. Of course not your basic Physics, OChem, GChem, Bio, etc but the foundations are still required. Much studying is needed. Some physicians have told me they spent 3 months studying for it. So clearly it doesn't end with the MCAT, and you got USMLE Step 2 and 3 too, however those are more clinical.

I don't think every med student says, "Hey, let's go to med school so I can spend another 4 years in a lecture hall and library." I think it is a pretty fair statement that med students aren't going to med school to be in a library but rather to become doctors.

So, yes, being in a library and lecture hall for at least the next 4 years does scare me, but don't we do it to become doctors, not for the thrill of spending our saturdays with those sexy librarians?

Actually a lot of our physicians here (academic hospital) spend time in the library. They read up on the latest journals in their respective fields, or giving talks in lecture halls to expand the knowledge of medicine, and sitting in lectures (symposiums) to hear about new medical stuff. Even if you're not into academic medicine, you are expected to keep up with the latest stuff. Medicine moves at a fast pace, and thus physicians will always be students, and there will be exams, and studying that you will have to do.

Like Law2Doc said, if its in your heart, you'll be fine. But studying, and all that, to some extent, never ends until the day you retire as a physician.

 

[prana_md]

I feel you, OP!

Studying for the MCAT was an absolute low point for me. It was the only time (so far!) that I ever questioned my decision. Even having to reapply this year wasn't as bad as taking that damn test. Some people told me to re-take it for a higher score to offset my GPA, and I said "no f*cking way!"

The MCAT is evil. You question yourself, your knowledge base, your ability. One bad practice test and you're off your game for days. When I finally finished it, I had a few hours of euphoria, then got blotto with my post-bac friends, then sunk into a deep and persistent depression.

As for when I knew, I was working as a journalist. I was interviewing a guy with AIDS who used medicinal marijuana. I was talking to him thinking, "I don't want to write a story about him, I want to take care of him!"

My next thought was "****." My partner was an intern at the time, and I knew what lay ahead for me. Well, sort of.

Good luck. The MCAT is the worst part. Even my friends in medical school agree. They love what they're doing, even if it's hard and stressful at times.

 

[Whatsamatta U]

I feel you, OP!

Good luck. The MCAT is the worst part. Even my friends in medical school agree. They love what they're doing, even if it's hard and stressful at times.

Thanks Prana, I think that's more what I was getting at

 

[FrkyBgStok]

i knew i wanted to be a doctor when I was at work overhauling an engine. Another technician and I were talking about the engine, pistons, crankshaft, etc and arguing about this and that being the heart of the engine when it hit me like a brick. I had always dabbled and been interested in medicine but that is when i KNEW i wanted to pursue medicine. So yes. Auto mechanic to doctor. Thats a shift.

 

[JimmyG]

I knew at a young age that I wanted to pursue medicine. Once I got into college, I became scared and insecure with my abilities to become a doctor (because some of those pre-med advisors tell you if you don't have a 4.0 you better get to finding some falling stars...) and went another allied health route. For the past 4 years, working as an OT, I have become depressed and frustrated because this is NOT what I can see myself doing for the next 20-40 years.

I quit my job, am back in school full time and, for the first time in a long time, wake up excited to be alive. I am excited about learning. It has not been easy to come back to school, but I don't care that I sleep less or drink too much coffee to keep my eyelids open; I am stimulating myself intellectually that I did not have the everyday opportunity to do while being an OT. I miss my patients but the time will come, hopefully, that I can treat them again, but in a different role. I am happy and know 100% that I am doing the right thing.

So, I guess it's kind of like when I knew I wanted to marry my husband. I know because it just feels "right".

 

[DoctorC++]

At what point did you all know that you had to be a doctor? That all this hard work is worth it? I'm studying for the MCAT right now and I definitly miss having some free time without stress.

I sat there day to day in my cubical staring at the wall. "Is this it? There's definitely gotta be more to life than this..."

Well, one day I decided to stop wondering and explore it on my own. I chose medicine because I enjoy helping people, teaching, tutoring. I also enjoy learning. As sick as it sounds, I'd rather be in school any day of the week than at a work desk. I love learning. I chose medicine because I know I will make a good doctor. I have that confidence and recently have been finding that discipline as well.

This is a hard field, no doubt... you will have to make a lot of "sacrificies" - no doubt... but they aren't really sacrificies, if you want to make them.

The MCAT is going to be one of the worst exams you will ever take. I cannot think of a more horrendous exam. Do your best to get a score that's competitive. Don't worry about anything else. Work hard and things will fall into place.

I am also a pre-med student. Feel free to PM me.

 

[Law2Doc]

The MCAT is going to be one of the worst exams you will ever take. I cannot think of a more horrendous exam.

I agree with the rest of your post, but actually the MCAT is definitely not going to be the worst test you ever take. You will have plenty of much worse tests down the road (the boards, various med school tests). It is just an early hurdle you have to get past.

 

[thirdunity]

Hi DrC++,

I was in computers, too. I tried to cut a lot of corners in various fields in my 20s hoping I could somehow connect them to medicine - anthropology, oh and of course I considered clinical psychology figuring it was as close I could get to being a doctor without all the math. Strangely, I never considered nursing or other allied health fields - it's only since going pre-med that I decided to become a phlebotomist and EMT.

Eventually I found the math really wasn't that hard and once I got through the math block, I had to admit to myself that I really wanted to be a doctor.

 

[jebus]

But, and this is to you Law2doc, I know it won't get easier, but my hope is that nothing is like the MCAT, a test on pre-med science classes that have (virtually) no use to me in the future.

I know I'm not Law2Doc (yeah, it took me a while to figure that one out), but don't approach the MCAT as though the content is the important thing and this material is really going to help you out as a physician. I have a BS in biochemistry, but I rarely used my organic chemistry knowledge while I worked neuroscience laboratories.
These pre-med science classes aren't important because you really need to know stoichiometry or angular momentum. They are important because they teach you how to think critically, how to solve problems, how to devise algorithms, and how to apply knowledge to a unique problem. They teach you the scientific method, they teach you to approach questions from many angles, and they teach you perseverance and the importance of asking questions.
The MCAT is a science test, you need to know basic chemistry, biology, and physics to succeed. There isn't much that you actually need to know, though. My science knowledge that the MCAT tests can be summarized on 40 one-sided sheets of 8.5"x11" paper - and I did make these notes and I still have them. But at its heart it is more of a thinking test and a reading comprehension test that tests those skills - and the content - you learned in those basic science courses.
To answer your original question, I decided to pursue medicine while working in that neuroscience lab and wondering that the hell the point was. Who benefits from the knowledge that short-term synaptic plasticity is altered in a developmentally regulated fashion that coincides with post-transcriptional splice variance of a membrane bound protein involved in regulation of vesicular fusion and neuroexocytosis at neuro-muscular junctions? When is this going to help people? How is this involved in mental illness? Is going to the lab on a Saturday morning to feed my murine embryonic neuronal cultures going to be satisfying in perpetuity? What if I could use my basic science knowledge to address clinical problems? Then I actually looked into clinical issues and what a physician does and, sure enough, there are lot of things about medicine that really appeal to me. If I have to jump through hoops (like the MCAT) to get there then so be it.
Or maybe I decided subconsciously when I was 10 and I helped my mom hook my brother up to his home peritoneal dialysis machine every night for a year. Either way....

 

[Whatsamatta U]

There isn't much that you actually need to know, though. My science knowledge that the MCAT tests can be summarized on 40 one-sided sheets of 8.5"x11" paper - and I did make these notes and I still have them.

Uhh...so...can I have them? j/k

I'm definitly feeling better. I was having a little panic attack from the sheer volume of information that stands before me. I've sorta changed around my study method and it seems to be helping a lot. I know it may seem uber basic to all of you but I decided to start READING the text book portions of my MCAT books. I am taking a course and so I've been relying on their lectures and practice problems only and I just felt so lost. But since I've started reading, I am becoming more familiar with the material and getting more confident (in the last two days at least).

And to you Law2Doc, maybe other tests are harder, but this is like the SATs when going to undergrad right? A stupid standardized test that is in retrospect much easier than college itself but the pain of taking SAT and SAT IIs (at least for me) was much worse than that of studying o-chem.

 

[2Sexy4MedSchool]

I'm definitly feeling better. I was having a little panic attack from the sheer volume of information that stands before me. I've sorta changed around my study method and it seems to be helping a lot.

I agree with Jebus; too many people get so caught up with the content of the MCAT that they forget to focus on the analytical aspect of the test. In other words, I will never really understand most of the physics from the MCAT, but there is a difference between understanding the concepts and being able to answer questions about them.

And to you Law2Doc, maybe other tests are harder, but this is like the SATs when going to undergrad right? A stupid standardized test that is in retrospect much easier than college itself but the pain of taking SAT and SAT IIs (at least for me) was much worse than that of studying o-chem.[/QUOTE

I don't know about all of that, but I agree with you that the MCAT is a royal pain in the ass. There is no question that preparing for and taking the MCAT was harder than anything I had previously encountered, including the LSAT or even the bar exam, which lasted three days. I don't know if it is the test format or the breadth of the material covered, but when I walked out of the MCAT I felt exactly like I had been kicked in the crotch: lightheaded, nauseous, and short of breath. Everyone else talks about how happy they were when they got their scores back; all I remember was a profound sense of relief and thinking, "Thank god I never have to do THAT again."