When to tell work I'm going to grad school

[hamsterpants]

Please indulge me while I think through this. I find myself more concerned about this situation than I thought I would be and it is dampening a little of my excitement for the Fall. Any advice you have is wonderfully welcome.

I work full time in a professional job. I've been here 7 years, doing the same position. Almost no one here has gone to grad school ( at least recently) or will go (probably), so it is not a lab like environment at all. I did not tell anyone I was applying but I need to tell them now.

My last day at work will be approx. July 30. I was going to give notice now (April) as we go through a review process. I told my friend this and she was horrified. She thinks I should give a month's notice tops. She pointed out that I definitely need my salary through July and was counting on my July 15 bonus for moving costs. She said telling them now could lead to them letting me go. Or it might make for an uncomfortable 4 months. She said at the very least I should get all my funding squared away before doing so.

I've been here 7 years. I trust the company. I have some degree of loyalty and I want to have time to say goodbye to people. Plus July/ Aug is busy and a co-worker will likely still be on maternity leave. Also, it is hard to keep silent about this very important part of my life and I'm afraid it might get out inadvertently.

I meet with my supervisor for my review this week and I'm sure goals for next year will come up. I don't want to lie or feel like a fraud discussing them.

I'm wondering what I should do.

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[Therapist4Chnge]

Loyalty is fine, but being out 4 months of pay is bad. I gave around 3 weeks notice only because I knew they wouldn't fire me earlier, as we were already short people in the department. I would not recommend more than 3-4 weeks (at most).

 

[hamsterpants]

Loyalty is fine, but being out 4 months of pay is bad. I gave around 3 weeks notice only because I knew they wouldn't fire me earlier, as we were already short people in the department. I would not recommend more than 3-4 weeks (at most).

Thanks. I think I am going to have to go in that direction.

 

[Featheredwyngs]

Loyalty is fine, but being out 4 months of pay is bad. I gave around 3 weeks notice only because I knew they wouldn't fire me earlier, as we were already short people in the department. I would not recommend more than 3-4 weeks (at most).

Can a job really fire you after you have told them what day you plan to resign (esp. if you're meeting all rules about giving them notice)? Also, if you're afraid of that sort of retaliation aren't there some policies in place to protect you (can you inquire with HR)? I work at a VA and I guess we have some pretty strict policies when it comes to leaving (quitting/being fired) and because it takes so long to set up a new hire, our bosses prefer to know early (e.g., our replacements have already been hired and are doing paperwork now for hopefully a summer start date).

Part of me feels that the longer you sit on this, the bigger a thing it will become (i.e., lying by omission). My impression was that normally, at most jobs, if you are applying to another job (esp. on their own time) it's normally expected of you to tell them (whether or not you secure a position) and that they can't necessarily fire you explicitly for that reason. Maybe I'm naive...? I can see some people being offended by you keeping this from them if they consider themselves close to you. However, I think it would be extreme if it resulted in them firing you once you gave them your official date of leave.

Granted... if people there aren't really savvy about the grad school process, I might just wait until the middle of June to tell them and if they ask how long you knew, you can say you just decided recently (i.e., be vague). I don't think I'd wait until the beginning of July though. (June should be enough of a buffer period where if they fire you before your July end date it'd be obvious it's for retaliation).

 

[deleted176373]

Can a job really fire you after you have told them what day you plan to resign (esp. if you're meeting all rules about giving them notice)?

Yes, it's called a lay-off.

Also, if you're afraid of that sort of retaliation aren't there some policies in place to protect you (can you inquire with HR)?

I wouldn't count on it... you're leaving anyway. Are you going to file a suit then move... that wouldn't be much fun.

I work at a VA and I guess we have some pretty strict policies when it comes to leaving (quitting/being fired) and because it takes so long to set up a new hire, our bosses prefer to know early (e.g., our replacements have already been hired and are doing paperwork now for hopefully a summer start date).

Government is a little different... private sector has a lot more wiggle room, but even at the VA, if someone wanted to mess with you, it's possible.

Part of me feels that the longer you sit on this, the bigger a thing it will become (i.e., lying by omission). My impression was that normally, at most jobs, if you are applying to another job (esp. on their own time) it's normally expected of you to tell them (whether or not you secure a position) and that they can't necessarily fire you explicitly for that reason.

It's not lying by omission, not in this case, it's simply not customary to give 4 months of notice. First, things could change... you never know what will happen. Take the schools in Louisiana that were devastated by the hurricane, people were unable to attend school for months... altering plans for many... giving up your job too early is just not smart. Just because you've made plans does not mean that your employer is entitled to know them. As a former employer myself, as long as I got 2-4 weeks notice, I was fine with it. I didn't have an expectation or a need to know my employees plans prior to that. This isn't about lying by omission, it's about appropriate boundaries.

Maybe I'm naive...? I can see some people being offended by you keeping this from them if they consider themselves close to you. However, I think it would be extreme if it resulted in them firing you once you gave them your official date of leave.

Granted... if people there aren't really savvy about the grad school process, I might just wait until the middle of June to tell them and if they ask how long you knew, you can say you just decided recently (i.e., be vague). I don't think I'd wait until the beginning of July though. (June should be enough of a buffer period where if they fire you before your July end date it'd be obvious it's for retaliation).

I think that you stick to the customary 2-4 week notification window, it's reasonable to give a few extra weeks in a professional setting, but 4 months is too much.

Mark

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

Can a job really fire you after you have told them what day you plan to resign (esp. if you're meeting all rules about giving them notice)? Also, if you're afraid of that sort of retaliation aren't there some policies in place to protect you (can you inquire with HR)? I work at a VA and I guess we have some pretty strict policies when it comes to leaving (quitting/being fired) and because it takes so long to set up a new hire, our bosses prefer to know early (e.g., our replacements have already been hired and are doing paperwork now for hopefully a summer start date).

Most states have "at-will" employment laws, so you can be fired for pretty much any reason outside of discriminatory ones. There can still be some hurdles for a company to fire someone, but they can "re-assign" tasks and the like to make your remaining time much less enjoyable. The silver lining in them firing you is that you can collect unemployment, though some may challenge your claim just to be spiteful. I wanted to minimize any chance of undesirable work and protect my earnings. I was considering giving my boss 6 weeks notice, but I didn't want to eat the $1,000+ for 1 month of COBRA insurance coverage.

 

[deadmau5]

i wouldn't mention it until closer to the end. I think it's fine to not mention until 2-3 weeks before the end. Month is good too.

 

[lexicon]

Part of me feels that the longer you sit on this, the bigger a thing it will become (i.e., lying by omission). My impression was that normally, at most jobs, if you are applying to another job (esp. on their own time) it's normally expected of you to tell them (whether or not you secure a position) and that they can't necessarily fire you explicitly for that reason. Maybe I'm naive...? I can see some people being offended by you keeping this from them if they consider themselves close to you. However, I think it would be extreme if it resulted in them firing you once you gave them your official date of leave.

I have to strenuously disagree with this. You are not lying or lying by omission. Unless you're on a contract you have no obligation to your employer, just as your employer has no obligation to you. They can fire you for any reason except for Federal/State/County protected categories. Now, if memory serves hamsterpants lives in Northern California, and most of the bigger cities in that area have extra protections for workers, but that does not mean they can't let her go early once she gives notice.

HP: I am in a similar situation. I've been with my company 7 years and most people I work with are not college graduates, much less grad school veterans. However, I've been with the company a long time and care about them very much. I consider myself a very loyal person. Nevertheless, I only gave 3 week's notice (my job starts in June and I need time to pack/move). I really don't think there is any good reason to give more than 4 week's notice.

 

[olychick65]

On the flip side, my boss wrote one of my letters of rec (I'm a caregiver for adults with mental and physical disabilities) and so the entire company has been aware of my plans the whole way along. I told HR my last day would be approximately July 30 late last month- she was just really happy I would be available to cover someone's July vacation!

But, this is of course a different type of job, it's a small family-type business and I'm not FT.

 

[Featheredwyngs]

Yes, it's called a lay-off.

Really? Lol.

You are not lying or lying by omission. Unless you're on a contract you have no obligation to your employer, just as your employer has no obligation to you.

I guess even a contract doesn't guarantee anything either for employee or employer (I've been following another thread where they mentioned that). I didn't mean lying by omission legally/contractually etc. - but I can imagine that it could be seen that way interpersonally. I know at my job some people would be insulted and it could burn bridges (whereas I wouldn't be afraid of being fired by telling early). But the sense I'm getting from this thread is that that is definitely not the norm - which is great news in the OP's case 🙂.

 

[TexaninDC]

My concern with waiting until the 'last' minute is that you've had a relationship with this company for 7 years. When I applied to grad schools the first time around (didn't get into any phd programs but got offered an MA in DC) I was somewhat facing the same decision. I had been at my job at an academic institution for less than a year. I knew that they were aware of the process but since I didn't want to ask my supervisor for help during the application process, I decided not to say anything until I was accepted somewhere. Because it was an unfunded MA I needed to get a job in the research area I was interested. I knew I would have to tell my supervisor about it if any future employers in the same field were to invite me for work interviews (turns out my then future boss knew my supervisor's wife- so glad I mentioned it to him before applying for this job I've had for 3 years). I chose to tell my boss 4 months in advance (incredibly nervous about it) and told him I was in search for a job in the same field. He was disappointed at first but not for the reasons I was thinking. He was disappointed because I didn't come to him for help when applying to schools. He's still someone I keep in touch with and might collaborate with once I start working on that PhD this fall.

I guess I said all of that to say that it doesn't sound like you are in this position. The fact that no one knows you've applied means you didn't ask anyone there for a letter? If you have concerns about them firing you earlier at a place you've been for 7 years, it sounds to me that you might not have a strong relationship with your mentors (forgive any offense, as I mean none). If that's the case then I agree with the others that you shouldn't tell them until 2-4 weeks in advance. If these are people that have previously inquired about future plans or have ever taken interest in your academic pursuits then I would probably tell them as you can burn bridges with people you might work with later. If they know about the grad app process then they could definitely ask why you didn't tell them sooner if you knew for months (but I guess if you wait till the last few weeks, firing you then would only make you lose a week or two).

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do. I hope however that these people you've had a relationship with for 7 years hope for the best for you and would be understanding that you're not leaving them for say another job. I hope they wouldn't take you pursuing a graduate degree as an insult and instead celebrate your academic success.

 

[lexicon]

My concern with waiting until the 'last' minute is that you've had a relationship with this company for 7 years.

4 week's notice is not the last minute, especially if you're not in a managerial role.

 

[lamorena]

.

 

[hamsterpants]

Thanks y'all. This has been good food for thought.

Mark hit the nail on the head, so to speak. This is about boundaries. I think because of the length of time involved, I have put these folks in the family category (even the annoying ones) but they are not family, this is a professional relationship and I need to treat it accordingly. It is indeed "at will" employment and I would be loathe to pursue any legal action ( I wouldn't have a case anyway). no one I know of has given more than two weeks notice here except in a special case where she went down to p/t first.

For the record, I never pursued grad school on their time (unless you count SDN). I used vacation days for interviews, gre, etc.