When your brain and mouth aren't communicating..

[Poke]

I'm not always great with conversations. I'm able to be confident and converse well when I'm sure of something, but if there's the slightest doubt in my mind, it's like everything shuts down. Like when a dog owner asks me something... I've never owned a dog in my life (and it's not feasible now), and when clients ask me questions, all I can do is tell them what I've heard. But, because I'm not positive that what I'm saying is correct, I jumble my sentences and end up feeling terribly stupid. This goes with almost anything that I'm not sure of, and so I spend half of every workday dwelling on something that I said or did that I consider stupid. And there are the times when I know what I want to say, but what's actually coming out is not quite that.

My questions for you guys are...
-- When your mouth doesn't go along with what your brain is telling you, do you find it easier/better to try to continue, or re-center yourself and try again?
-- What are your methods for getting past that stupid thing you said, that mistake, or that difficult client?
and last but not least..
-- In my situation, do you think my.. awkwardness.. is something I can remedy with time and/or experience/practice, or am I doomed to be incoherent?

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[carrbear21]

Speak SLOWLY and think BEFORE you speak. Try and be positive-- don't say "I haven't done x,y,z", try to discuss things you HAVE done and your positive attributes. Taking it slow and centering prior to speaking is something I find important, otherwise I would sound like that blond Miss Universe ("Um, the United Americas and Cuba and, um, the schools in Iraq..."). I don't usually start over, just a continuation or clarification.

You'll definitely get better with experience and practice. Time alone won't do it. You'll be fine! It just takes time and experience.


The best thing I can say is THINK before you speak. That will head off most issues! Good luck!

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

I know how that it I have ADHD, and even through my medication definitely evens me out and helps me focus, I still babble, stutter, and start a sentence five different ways before it finally comes out even remotely coherent (and a lot of the time not even then). People cannot follow my train of thought. It feels like my brain is having seizures and kicking half-formed sentences out of my mouth at every opportunity, and by the time they are out I have thought of something else...I need to write everything out in order to not jump back and forth like I'm on a pair of bloody trampolines.

I have found that (yes...this is geeky...beware) talking to myself in the shower, or just by myself, helps. I pretend someone has asked me a question, and I answer it out loud, focusing on sounding as calm as possible and speaking slowly. It is like playing a game of pretend, or being onstage but without the jitters. It has definitely helped me, even thought I feel a bit crazy doing it

 

[monkeypants]

I struggle with the same problem at the clinic I work at. A client asks a question and to compensate for not being sure of the answer I over think my response and end up babbling like a fool. I have found a few ways to help me get through it--most importantly, I try not to dwell on it after the fact. Try forgiving yourself--and accept that it happened. It doesn't mean you aren't good at what you do or that you won't be a good vet. It's just part of being new in the field and (in my case) being introverted. When I do find myself stumbling over my words I try to take a breath and keep going...the client usually gets what I'm saying in the end. Also, if I am really not sure of an answer I am honest about it--I tell the client I'm not sure but that I will ask a doc or another tech. In my experience, no one has ever had a problem with that.

Don't worry--it's all about confidence, and confidence is all about experience. Give it some time--and don't be too hard on yourself

 

[VAgirl]

I agree with the above posters. Think before speaking (people like it when you look like you're considering what they've said).

And your best friend (particularly in a work environment) is to master the ability to say with perfect confidence:
"Hm...I'm not 100% on that. Let me look into it and get back to you." (Or variants thereof that you're more comfortable with.) And then you do it, get a kickbutt answer and they're happy.

Seriously, people mostly don't care if you know something off the top of your head or have to go check. They usually just want the info.

 

[RaptorRehaber]

Doesn't it bother a few of you to be giving information to clients if you don't truly know the answer? There's no harm in saying "Let me grab a technician or ask the doctor for you" or at least ask a few co-workers instead of just figuring out a way to keep your calm while either side-stepping the question or providing an answer that may not be accurate.

I've found that most clients will ask techs/assistants about medications/topicals etc. It's always helpful for me to grab a brochure and take them through the information, highlighting the important information with a sharpie so they can take it home and absorb it further. VIN is also a really great tool (if your clinic allows everyone to browse it for medical information), you can easily print out information for clients if you aren't comfortable with the topic or take some time and educate yourself on typical client questions. When I started working as an assistant/tech three years ago, I made sure I memorized all the preventative drug information, typical medication side affects and any other information I felt was appropriate to discuss at my status in the clinic.

 

[Rebeki]

I don't think that anyone was trying to tell the OP to give misinformation. In fact, VAGirl had previously suggested to get the correct information - that there was nothing embarrassing about this because we've all done it. To me, it seems like the OP gets flustered when asked questions and wanted advice on how to master client communications - something that usually takes practice for everyone.

To the OP - Be nice to yourself. I have had the same issues of blaming myself when I say something that I perceive as stupid. I have to remind myself that the world is tough enough, I don't need to be mean to myself too. Also, usually the person you were talking to doesn't think you sound stupid and aren't dwelling on it so you shouldn't either.

 

[RaptorRehaber]

I don't think that anyone was trying to tell the OP to give misinformation. In fact, VAGirl had previously suggested to get the correct information - that there was nothing embarrassing about this because we've all done it. To me, it seems like the OP gets flustered when asked questions and wanted advice on how to master client communications - something that usually takes practice for everyone.

But, because I'm not positive that what I'm saying is correct, I jumble my sentences and end up feeling terribly stupid.

A client asks a question and to compensate for not being sure of the answer I over think my response and end up babbling like a fool.

Those two sentences were examples of why I responded that way.

 

[168135]

Doesn't it bother a few of you to be giving information to clients if you don't truly know the answer? There's no harm in saying "Let me grab a technician or ask the doctor for you" or at least ask a few co-workers instead of just figuring out a way to keep your calm while either side-stepping the question or providing an answer that may not be accurate.

I was thinking the same thing... if I am not sure about something, then I get someone else who knows what they are talking about.

I suck at giving directions... I used to work fast-food and every once in a while, I would get a customer ask me where something is in the town. A few times I have babbled on and on "You know where this is? Well, find that, and make a right. I can't remember what the street is called, but there is a school there", ect, then I would go get someone who was better at giving directions. I'm a vegetarian, and when I first started, I had no clue what was on half of the hamburgers, so I would say, "I'm sorry. I am still training. Let me go ask my coworker." They tell me, or I listen to them tell the customer, and hey, I have learned something new.

 

[rexosaurus]

I agree with what VAgirl said, to be able to confidently say you don't know. That's okay, and people will appreciate you more for telling them outright that you don't know the answer to their question, help them find someone with the knowledge who can, and really help them; than try to help them in a way that may waste their time. That may have sounded harsh, and it wasn't meant to. But in the mean time, you can educate yourself also. Listen to the answers of the more experienced technicians, read the brochures that you hand the clients, ask the doctors at your clinic (in the downtime of course), the questions that you have about dogs. These practices will make you more of an asset to the clients as well as the doctors because you will be better utilized when these questions arise.

I have been in your situation also. Many times, I don't quite understand the question in the first place, and then end up answering a completely different question. So what I have learned to do, is take a moment to think about what was asked of me, maybe you really do know the answer, you just didn't think you did

 

[RaptorRehaber]

I think the more important issue to tackle is how to get out of awkward situations. I was sitting at the receptionist desk shooting the **** with the girls working up there and an old basset came through the door.

Me: "Oh hey Oscar, you look like you've lost some weight, what are you in for today?" (We really pushed the weight loss)

Owner: "Oscar is here for his euthanasia, we're putting him down today"

awkward.....

I just flipped on the charm and gave my condolences to the owner while reassuring both of them that Oscar had a great life and that he was lucky to have owners who cared about him enough to make such a difficult decision. I've found that the best strategy is to compliment the owner through conversation with the animal. Sometimes it's painfully cheesy but it beats the alternative: Me going "oopsy-doodle!" and running into the back.

 

[VAgirl]

I think the more important issue to tackle is how to get out of awkward situations. I was sitting at the receptionist desk shooting the **** with the girls working up there and an old basset came through the door.

Me: "Oh hey Oscar, you look like you've lost some weight, what are you in for today?" (We really pushed the weight loss)

Owner: "Oscar is here for his euthanasia, we're putting him down today"

awkward.....

I just flipped on the charm and gave my condolences to the owner while reassuring both of them that Oscar had a great life and that he was lucky to have owners who cared about him enough to make such a difficult decision. I've found that the best strategy is to compliment the owner through conversation with the animal. Sometimes it's painfully cheesy but it beats the alternative: Me going "oopsy-doodle!" and running into the back.

Why were they putting him down. (Not that I opposed responsible euthanasia. But it seems like it was said so matter of factly...)

 

[RaptorRehaber]

The poor guy was a tumor factory and his body could no longer handle it. The other assistant and I made sure that no convenience euthanasias occurred on our watch

That's how I got my little girl. Her owner dropped her perfectly healthy body off to be put down, I took one look at her, scooped her up and told the vet it wasn't happening haha.

 

[VAgirl]

Poor Oscar. We had to put down our boy (lab mix) last spring because of a tumor of the spleen (combined with old age and all of his other problems). I'm glad my kitties are young. I don't want to go through that kind of a decision again for years and years.

 

[mistifical]

The poor guy was a tumor factory and his body could no longer handle it. The other assistant and I made sure that no convenience euthanasias occurred on our watch

That's how I got my little girl. Her owner dropped her perfectly healthy body off to be put down, I took one look at her, scooped her up and told the vet it wasn't happening haha.

And I hope the former owner is aware of this?

 

[RaptorRehaber]

And I hope the former owner is aware of this?

This in this case, yes. She happened to be a friend of the veterinarian. She said that the money she paid for the euthanasia could be used towards any future blood work or medical costs Talulah Bell might need. I used it for an urinalysis because she was marking in the house (the reason she was going to be put down).

In a few rare cases, we do not tell the owner that we did not euthanize their animal. Our clinic cat Ibsen was a diabetic that only needed to be food regulated, his owner wasn't treating him well, refused to legally release him, dropped him off one day and we saved his life instead. It's a tough and fine lined issue, I did a three month internship studying the whole process of euthanasia, it was pretty interesting.

 

[Moonpaw]

In a few rare cases, we do not tell the owner that we did not euthanize their animal. Our clinic cat Ibsen was a diabetic that only needed to be food regulated, his owner wasn't treating him well, refused to legally release him, dropped him off one day and we saved his life instead. It's a tough and fine lined issue, I did a three month internship studying the whole process of euthanasia, it was pretty interesting.

I sometimes feel like I want to do that when owners try to euthanize for really silly things. Is it legal?

 

[Rebeki]

I was wondering about the legality of it too. It was my understanding that it was illegal or unethical to tell an owner that you are euthanizing their animal and taking money for the euthanasia and then not euthanize. Believe me I understand why one would do it...but does anyone know what the legal implications are?

 

[VAgirl]

I would think that, at the least, you could get in trouble for false claims or fraudulently charging a customer. From a business perspective, you took their money and didn't provide the agreed upon service. But because of the medical nature of the situation, I would think that there are probably more severe things in this case for which you could get in legal trouble. Maybe with your state's board of veterinarians?

 

[dyachei]

I was wondering about the legality of it too. It was my understanding that it was illegal or unethical to tell an owner that you are euthanizing their animal and taking money for the euthanasia and then not euthanize. Believe me I understand why one would do it...but does anyone know what the legal implications are?

If you're paid for a service and do not perform the service, it is my understanding that it is illegal. You are defrauding the client that paid for the euthanasia. At the very least it is a breach of contract. Since animals are property, its probably theft, too.

On the ethical side of things, if you're a member of the AVMA you are misleading the client and it may be the subject of investigation that can lead to losing your membership. You can turn the client away and/or tell them about their other options.

this is my impression from our clinical correlations and ethics class and the AVMA guidelines.

 

[RaptorRehaber]

I suppose it's one of those situations that you have to experience to actually conclude which action you would take. I'm not condoning it, but in this field, there are many ethical decisions you are forced to make. The law and ethics do not agree on many things in veterinary medicine, and after becoming jaded to the injustice, it's hard to just throw the book at someone for wanting to save a life.

This was an extremely rare instance for our clinic, but I have to believe it happens frequently.

 

[rexosaurus]

This was an extremely rare instance for our clinic, but I have to believe it happens frequently.

I have to disagree, I think it is a quite infrequent occurence. Not that many vets are willing to jeopardize their licence to save one life. And I also cannot imagine that they would risk making this cat a clinic cat and further risk this client coming in again and recognizing the animal. Perhaps there are more details that we are not privy to, but that is pretty risky.

 

[lailanni]

At my clinic, we don't PTS animals without a solid medical reason.

If someone brings in an animal that is healthy to PTS, the vet will explain different options (adoption, etc) very persuasively, and let them know that they will not put down a healthy animal.

We've had a few people "give"/legally surrender their animal to the clinic - someone from the staff will take them in, or bring them to a shelter.

 

[lailanni]

-- What are your methods for getting past that stupid thing you said, that mistake, or that difficult client?
and last but not least..
-- In my situation, do you think my.. awkwardness.. is something I can remedy with time and/or experience/practice, or am I doomed to be incoherent?

Well, I've thankfully run into only a handful of truly difficult people - even though I've done a lot help in the exam rooms. I make it into a game for me, the moment I step into that room, my goal is to win over the client and make them smile, or at least feel welcome.

Sometimes there are just those mean people, and then those very, very strange people. With the mean people, I just feel kind of bad for them that they're stuck being so crabby. And I'll let the vet know that they're client is "one of those" before they go into the exam. They appreciate the warning : )

With more experience, you'll feel more comfortable. I spent the first half of my summer at the clinic feeling like a total idiot. It wasn't until I started training someone, I finally realized just how much I knew. Then I got a whole lot more confident.

 

[PiddlingFish]

This was an extremely rare instance for our clinic, but I have to believe it happens frequently.

No. I doubt it because it is ILLEGAL.

 

[RaptorRehaber]

No. I doubt it because it is ILLEGAL.

Haha, that's fine, I think we've established that it's illegal, thanks. But I'm speaking from experience and I know of many clinics that have done it.

As for Ibsen, I don't know all the details, I know the guy dropped the cat off, refused to leave until the cat was accepted for death, signed the papers and left before we could protest. The client never returned nor could they be reached by phone.

 

[Poke]

I feel hijacked.

Anyway, thanks for the responses. It's nice to know I'm not the only one having/that's had issues with this. Apparently it's contagious, too. One of the vets I work with had some issues forming completely coherent sentences today.