Why does the medical school social scene suck?

[Osminog]

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MS1 here.

A large fraction of my classmates are type-A gunners who are always on edge and take themselves extremely seriously all the time. Another large fraction is pretty much the exact opposite: they constantly party and drink, presumably trying to relive their college golden years. Last week, they had a big beer-drinking contest with different "obstacle courses"; they're pretty much playing the roles of Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn in Old School.

There's also endless gossiping and judging, especially within the female cliques. It's honestly sickening to overhear them making fun of other classmates... giggling because they think somebody looks ugly, said something stupid in a discussion session, etc.

The classmates I've enjoyed interacting with the most have generally been older, "non-traditional" students; many of them are level-headed and mature, and they're usually able to talk about things other than school and beer. I've had several chances to study with these folks, and that's been great. Unfortunately, they tend to socially distance themselves from the rest of the class, because they have enough stuff going on outside of school (spouses, kids, etc.).

Why does medical school have so many uptight try-hards and obnoxious party-goers, with so few people in between the two extremes? Is my school unique in this regard?

 

[Dro133]

Damn, this also describes my school to a T, right down to the chill non-trads.

I think there are a group of chill people, they're just harder to find because they don't stick out as much.

 

[pinkowl250]

This has been my experience here so far as well. A lot of neurotic people who were overstressed from day 1 and others who don't seem to care at all

 

[Aloe paleo]

MS1 here.

A large fraction of my classmates are type-A gunners who are always on edge and take themselves extremely seriously all the time. Another large fraction is pretty much the exact opposite: they constantly party and drink, presumably trying to relive their college golden years. Last week, they had a big beer-drinking contest with different "obstacle courses"; they're pretty much playing the roles of Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn in Old School.

There's also endless gossiping and judging, especially within the female cliques. It's honestly sickening to overhear them making fun of other classmates... giggling because they think somebody looks ugly, said something stupid in a discussion session, etc.

The classmates I've enjoyed interacting with the most have generally been older, "non-traditional" students; many of them are level-headed and mature, and they're usually able to talk about things other than school and beer. I've had several chances to study with these folks, and that's been great. Unfortunately, they tend to socially distance themselves from the rest of the class, because they have enough stuff going on outside of school (spouses, kids, etc.).

Why does medical school have so many uptight try-hards and obnoxious party-goers, with so few people in between the two extremes? Is my school unique in this regard?

"There's also endless gossiping and judging, especially within the female cliques. It's honestly sickening to overhear them making fun of other classmates... giggling because they think somebody looks ugly, said something stupid in a discussion session, etc."......I think that this is disgusting, bet they didn't write about this on all their apps. They probably said, "I'm so inclusive and passionate about serving everyone. I never discriminate, etc.....blah blah blah blah blah" meanwhile they are judgy and critical!

 

[Aloe paleo]

makes me sick how two-faced some people can be

 

[Chibucks15]

Why does it matter? Put your head down, find your people, and you’ll never see these people again after second year if you don’t want to.

Who cares. I guess I’m one of those non trads who don’t know a lot of people and have other stuff going on though

 

[Aloe paleo]

Why does it matter? Put your head down, find your people, and you’ll never see these people again after second year if you don’t want to.

Who cares. I guess I’m one of those non trads who don’t know a lot of people and have other stuff going on though

But I think it's also good to make friends and study buddies...they are your future colleagues! I'm premed currently but I hope I can make some amazing, lifelong friends at school!

 

[Chibucks15]

But I think it's also good to make friends and study buddies...they are your future colleagues! I'm premed currently but I hope I can make some amazing, lifelong friends at school!

Med school isn’t college. Sure you’ll make friends. And they’ll be great! But the vast majority of the time it’s a job. A lot of the time you’re on your own, either studying or rotations. Honestly that’s great you feel that way, but at the end of the day it’s professional school, and won’t have the same dynamic. Best of luck though. Like I said I’m a non trad who didn’t feel the need to buy into some of the nonsense described above

 

[Aloe paleo]

Med school isn’t college. Sure you’ll make friends. And they’ll be great! But the vast majority of the time it’s a job. A lot of the time you’re on your own, either studying or rotations. Honestly that’s great you feel that way, but at the end of the day it’s professional school, and won’t have the same dynamic. Best of luck though. Like I said I’m a non trad who didn’t feel the need to buy into some of the nonsense described above

I guess there needs to be a balance

 

[Osminog]

Why does it matter? Put your head down, find your people, and you’ll never see these people again after second year if you don’t want to.

Who cares. I guess I’m one of those non trads who don’t know a lot of people and have other stuff going on though

Honestly, I’m a pretty introverted/independent person, so I’ve been doing fine so far without a stable friend group... but in the long term (i.e., over the course of the next two years), I’m worried that I’ll get burnt out without some sort of reliable social outlet.

If I recall correctly, you have a spouse. I’m single... so maybe that accounts for our difference in mindset? I’d imagine that having an at-home support system during school makes the initial social adjustment way more bearable.

 

[Deecee2DO]

My school is similar. Im non trad. People in my class are really good people but Im older (non trad) and tend to chill with the non trads. Im not into the party scene anymore. When i was in my early 20s and in undergrad I was a huge partier (just like the kids you mention). Now that Im in my late 20s my ideal friday night after a big exam is grabbing a drink with 2-3 buddies and chilling low key at a local bar/get some food watch sports/movies. I am not into party game anymore. These younger kids will grow out of it. Also youll never see these kids again after M2 and toward the winter and spring of M2 everyone will be too stressed out and hibernated to party come boards studying. Just ride it out for now study hard youre there to become a doctor thats how I think of it. A lot of kids are just still super young and immature/right out of undergrad. Try and stay connected with your friends from undergrad, hometown friends, high school friends etc depending on how far you are from home thats what I did it makes everything better

 

[Osteosaur]

think of medical school like work instead of college. maybe you grab a drink, and complain about the latest exam or lecture, but its not college where you're looking to do this kind of intense best-friends-for-life style adolescent bonding. If you make a friend, great, but most everyone is just there to study for 2 years.

There is an entire world of people out there. Go on dates, look up old friends, play videogames, look for people into your hobbies in the area.

 

[Deecee2DO]

think of medical school like work instead of college. maybe you grab a drink, and complain about the latest exam or lecture, but its not college where you're looking to do this kind of intense best-friends-for-life style adolescent bonding. If you make a friend, great, but most everyone is just there to study for 2 years.

There is an entire world of people out there. Go on dates, look up old friends, play videogames, look for people into your hobbies in the area.

Good advice here^

 

[Chibucks15]

Honestly, I’m a pretty introverted/independent person, so I’ve been doing fine so far without a stable friend group... but in the long term (i.e., over the course of the next two years), I’m worried that I’ll get burnt out without some sort of reliable social outlet.

If I recall correctly, you have a spouse. I’m single... so maybe that accounts for our difference in mindset? I’d imagine that having an at-home support system during school makes the initial social adjustment way more bearable.

I guess there needs to be a balance

These are valid points. However, the way medical school is set up and the people involved make it tough sometimes.

Don’t go into it expecting to make best friends like undergrad and before. If some work, then they work and great! But definitely agree with a couple posts up.

Medical school isn’t college. It never will be. I’d love to relive college days but this is much more of a job than anything. Honestly the more you get a worker mindset makes 3rd and 4th years bearable because it’s just another day at work

 

[DO2015CA]

But I think it's also good to make friends and study buddies...they are your future colleagues! I'm premed currently but I hope I can make some amazing, lifelong friends at school!

Man, heck study buddies. You gotta get through the material on your own. You can “study” with whoever you want but at the end of the day, you are the one taking the test of your own so you need to get through the material on your own

 

[Ho0v-man]

A lot of the classmates that you can’t stand will chill the eff out after this semester after realizing they can’t keep that high strung intensity up forever. Conversely, some of the partiers will get rocked and start buckling down.

 

[Tenk]

Making life long friends is what residency is for. I talk to like 1 or 2 classmates from med school still. I talk to probably 20+ from residency.

 

[7331poas]

Maybe you are just uptight.

And yeah, if someone is consistently saying dumb **** during lecture then I am going to complain about it on my own time.

 

[Goro]

MS1 here.

A large fraction of my classmates are type-A gunners who are always on edge and take themselves extremely seriously all the time. Another large fraction is pretty much the exact opposite: they constantly party and drink, presumably trying to relive their college golden years. Last week, they had a big beer-drinking contest with different "obstacle courses"; they're pretty much playing the roles of Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn in Old School.

There's also endless gossiping and judging, especially within the female cliques. It's honestly sickening to overhear them making fun of other classmates... giggling because they think somebody looks ugly, said something stupid in a discussion session, etc.

The classmates I've enjoyed interacting with the most have generally been older, "non-traditional" students; many of them are level-headed and mature, and they're usually able to talk about things other than school and beer. I've had several chances to study with these folks, and that's been great. Unfortunately, they tend to socially distance themselves from the rest of the class, because they have enough stuff going on outside of school (spouses, kids, etc.).

Why does medical school have so many uptight try-hards and obnoxious party-goers, with so few people in between the two extremes? Is my school unique in this regard?

More than one SDNer has commented that med school can be a lot like high school. Even some of my own students, who seem to be anti-gunners as soon as they matriculate, somewhat agree with the high schoolishness behavior.

I suspect that the partying behavior comes from trying to blow off steam from the stress of school.

My advise is that you do you, and ignore the gunners and Tiger Parent children. Med school will be over in the blink of an eye.

 

[PieOHmy]

, and you’ll never see these people again after second year if you don’t want to.

LOL, oh yea you will!

They sit on boards, sit on panels, they re your colleagues you will be living with them your entire life. So learn how to deal with them effectively

 

[Chibucks15]

LOL, oh yea you will!

They sit on boards, sit on panels, they re your colleagues you will be living with them your entire life. So learn how to deal with them effectively

Oh I'm not denying that. I'm just saying don't worry about being super buddy buddy with everyone, just learn to tolerate and deal with people without coming off terribly. You know, like an adult human should know how to do

 

[Osminog]

I don't say this with the intent to be rude, but aren't you guys being exactly as judgy and critical as you're accusing everyone else of being? You seem to have developed a really negative opinion within a few weeks of meeting them, and now you're complaining and gossiping about it on the internet (and I'm sure to your friends, family, etc. outside of your class as well). Again, not trying to call you guys out - I've been there - just pointing out that these are things we ALL do on a daily basis and manage to forgive ourselves for.

I'm not saying that I have an ideal personality, nor am I trying to criticize the personal choices of my party-going and uptight/super-gunner classmates; they seem pretty content with how they're going about things so far, so god bless them. I'm just saying that the personalities that seem prevalent in my class right now aren't compatible with mine, and that concerns me.

I'm a laid-back guy who doesn't take things too seriously, but my "let's hit the bar on a Wednesday night" days ended about half a decade ago. I don't necessarily want to befriend someone whose sole worry in the world is the devastating prospect of getting a B on an exam, but I also don't want to participate in beer-guzzling contests.

 

[efle]

Is heavy drinking really that big at a lot of schools? I can practically count on one hand the number of classmates I've seen drink more than 4 beers

 

[Dro133]

Is heavy drinking really that big at a lot of schools? I can practically count on one hand the number of classmates I've seen drink more than 4 beers

The other day I saw a first-year walking through the hospital carrying a 6-pack.

 

[Aloe paleo]

I don't say this with the intent to be rude, but aren't you guys being exactly as judgy and critical as you're accusing everyone else of being? You seem to have developed a really negative opinion within a few weeks of meeting them, and now you're complaining and gossiping about it on the internet (and I'm sure to your friends, family, etc. outside of your class as well). Again, not trying to call you guys out - I've been there - just pointing out that these are things we ALL do on a daily basis and manage to forgive ourselves for.

Get to know people. There were people in my med school class that I initially didn't like being around (people I thought were gunners, immature high school jock/cheerleader types, party animals, etc.) and I ended up actually becoming really good friends with them. It's tough at the beginning of M1 year when we all feel insecure and are in a new place with new people. My experience was that if I was patient with people, took some time to get to know them, and assumed the best instead of the worst about them, I developed relationships with my colleagues that made my time in med school much more enjoyable and meaningful.

Like I said, i just think it's disgusting how two faced some people are. I was talking with one of my friends in her second year of med school and she was saying how for the interviews, it's really all about how good of an actor you are because a lot of her classmates don't act like how they do "on paper" . No ones perfect, including myself. However i try my best to be humble and not put down the people around me (especially based on appearances). I think that having respect and not making fun of your classmates for whatever reason is just expected, especially in a professional program. I'm still premed and I don't know everything and I have not yet experienced med school so I can't talk too much but this post definitely shocked me about how some people behave. Calling someone ugly is not okay, no matter who you are.

 

[Aloe paleo]

The other day I saw a first-year walking through the hospital carrying a 6-pack.

Hahahahaha for real?

 

[Schwifty]

Is heavy drinking really that big at a lot of schools? I can practically count on one hand the number of classmates I've seen drink more than 4 beers

If more than 4 beers is considered a heavy drinker, my class is filled with alcoholics lol

 

[Dro133]

Hahahahaha for real?

Hand to God.

 

[zanzizic]

More than one SDNer has commented that med school can be a lot like high school. Even some of my own students, who seem to be anti-gunners as soon as they matriculate, somewhat agree with the high schoolishness behavior.

I suspect that the partying behavior comes from trying to blow off steam from the stress of school.

My advise is that you do you, and ignore the gunners and Tiger Parent children. Med school will be over in the blink of an eye.

This is true. There was a group of “cool kids” that sat together when I was in first year. Some jock type guys and pretty girls. I was in their group for a while but started sitting with some other people because it started feeling weird. One of them said, “Dude, why aren’t you sitting in Cool World anymore?”

Barf

 

[Aloe paleo]

This is true. There was a group of “cool kids” that sat together when I was in first year. Some jock type guys and pretty girls. I was in their group for a while but started sitting with some other people because it started feeling weird. One of them said, “Dude, why aren’t you sitting in Cool World anymore?”

Barf

LOL that is weird and so high school hahaha

 

[Aloe paleo]

i think bullying and the act of bullying is disgusting. i think pretending u r this perfect applicant on paper and during an interview and venting about how u love to serve the underserviced when you are probably thinking the patient in front of you is ugly is disgusting. sorry that's just the vibe im getting. people can't change how they look, but people can change how they act. i dont think calling a bullies actions disgusting is the same as calling someone ugly, i think its standing against the bully.

 

[Osteosaur]

Most med students sit at home in pajamas pressing spacebar.

 

[THEBACKANDFORTH]

More than one SDNer has commented that med school can be a lot like high school. Even some of my own students, who seem to be anti-gunners as soon as they matriculate, somewhat agree with the high schoolishness behavior.

I suspect that the partying behavior comes from trying to blow off steam from the stress of school.

My advise is that you do you, and ignore the gunners and Tiger Parent children. Med school will be over in the blink of an eye.

Very type B non comformist MS2 here. I would also add that by the end of your first semester you will have teased out some wonderful people from what tends to be a very rigid and judgemental cohort. My class falls about 50/50 in this regard,,, half play the disdainful game and half withdraw from it. During required small group sessions, you will find good friends in the latter group. I think, in life, good people will always be found.

Also, faculty see this and don't give a SH**. I asked a relatively simple question in a lab this week and the student standing next to me essentially pimped me on the subject with material coming up next week to make me look dumb in front of prof. Prof said "that's not what was asked" and answered my question.

 

[THEBACKANDFORTH]

Why does it matter? Put your head down, find your people, and you’ll never see these people again after second year if you don’t want to.

Who cares. I guess I’m one of those non trads who don’t know a lot of people and have other stuff going on though

I think it matters because a lot of us leave a place we love with highly evolved social connections to start medical school somewhere foreign. And then, when the social scene isn't for us and we hardly have time to make a tinder date, it can make for a tough transition.

 

[deleted804295]

I'm not saying that I have an ideal personality, nor am I trying to criticize the personal choices of my party-going and uptight/super-gunner classmates; they seem pretty content with how they're going about things so far, so god bless them. I'm just saying that the personalities that seem prevalent in my class right now aren't compatible with mine, and that concerns me.

I'm a laid-back guy who doesn't take things too seriously, but my "let's hit the bar on a Wednesday night" days ended about half a decade ago. I don't necessarily want to befriend someone whose sole worry in the world is the devastating prospect of getting a B on an exam, but I also don't want to participate in beer-guzzling contests.

Haven't classes just started for you? People are weird their first year of school due to nerves. They start to become mild over time. Find a group of people who have similar vibes/interests as you.

 

[Chibucks15]

I think it matters because a lot of us leave a place we love with highly evolved social connections to start medical school somewhere foreign. And then, when the social scene isn't for us and we hardly have time to make a tinder date, it can make for a tough transition.

I get that. Just saying having the right mindset goes a long way coming into it

 

[THEBACKANDFORTH]

I get that. Just saying having the right mindset goes a long way coming into it

agreed

 

[KeikoTanaka]

i think bullying and the act of bullying is disgusting. i think pretending u r this perfect applicant on paper and during an interview and venting about how u love to serve the underserviced when you are probably thinking the patient in front of you is ugly is disgusting. sorry that's just the vibe im getting. people can't change how they look, but people can change how they act. i dont think calling a bullies actions disgusting is the same as calling someone ugly, i think its standing against the bully.

I think you're being too self-righteous man. I think so many people are ugly - that does not change how I treat them. All a medical school has to judge everyone is what they're given: the paper application and the interview. All interviews in all professions go to the "best actors" - Being a Doctor is a lot like being an actor: You have to wear different hats and you have to meet people on their cultural wave-length. Being a haughty millennial thinking other people are so "disgusting" because they've gotten their way just because they came off as good on paper means they're successful... and you sound bitter about it, because you think being a Physician is only reserved for those with the most "morals" - which simply isn't true. Whispering hush hush that you think people are ugly is not bullying. Bullying is calling them ugly to their face and making them feel bad about it. Just because pretty girls sit with each other and call other people ugly doesn't mean they won't act exactly how they would in their school interview with those ugly people - proper and professional. Being able to turn on and off that switch is important to being a good Doctor (and human being) - Otherwise you'll burn out being so empathic/serious to every single patient you come across.

Most med students sit at home in pajamas pressing spacebar.

Lol. *Looks down* "1423 cards studied today" *Cries* *hits the space bar and chugs along even more*

 

[Aloe paleo]

I think you're being too self-righteous man. I think so many people are ugly - that does not change how I treat them. All a medical school has to judge everyone is what they're given: the paper application and the interview. All interviews in all professions go to the "best actors" - Being a Doctor is a lot like being an actor: You have to wear different hats and you have to meet people on their cultural wave-length. Being a haughty millennial thinking other people are so "disgusting" because they've gotten their way just because they came off as good on paper means they're successful... and you sound bitter about it, because you think being a Physician is only reserved for those with the most "morals" - which simply isn't true. Whispering hush hush that you think people are ugly is not bullying. Bullying is calling them ugly to their face and making them feel bad about it. Just because pretty girls sit with each other and call other people ugly doesn't mean they won't act exactly how they would in their school interview with those ugly people - proper and professional. Being able to turn on and off that switch is important to being a good Doctor (and human being) - Otherwise you'll burn out being so empathic/serious to every single patient you come across.



Lol. *Looks down* "1423 cards studied today" *Cries* *hits the space bar and chugs along even more*

I still stand by everything i said lol

 

[Mad Jack]

When everyone else is the problem, perhaps one should take a look in the mirror

 

[ciestar]

Is heavy drinking really that big at a lot of schools? I can practically count on one hand the number of classmates I've seen drink more than 4 beers

My school is like this. Ive been guilty of this haha

 

[Mad Jack]

Is heavy drinking really that big at a lot of schools? I can practically count on one hand the number of classmates I've seen drink more than 4 beers

You must have a boring scene

 

[efle]

You must have a boring scene

Don't get me wrong there's plenty of nice people that are good to talk to. There's just very, very few that will have more than a couple drinks on a typical friday/saturday night. I can't even picture my classmates doing something like a case race during college, let alone now

 

[Osminog]

When everyone else is the problem, perhaps one should take a look in the mirror

Ah, very nice. I was waiting for someone to post this cheap zinger—and boy, it couldn’t have come from a more expected source.

Anyway, my point isn’t that these students’ behavior is a “problem.” It makes them content, and it has no direct impact on my life. The issue lies in the fact that I feel a tad concerned about my adjustment into this new social environment, and I’m wondering if there’s hope for a type-B non-partier in the long term. It’s a matter of compatibility more than anything else.

 

[Mad Jack]

Ah, very nice. I was waiting for someone to post this cheap zinger—and boy, it couldn’t have come from a more expected source.

Anyway, my point isn’t that these students’ behavior is a “problem.” It makes them content, and it has no direct impact on my life. The issue lies in the fact that I feel a tad concerned about my adjustment into this new social environment, and I’m wondering if there’s hope for a type-B non-partier in the long term. It’s a matter of compatibility more than anything else.

I.e. you are the problem

 

[efle]

Ah, very nice. I was waiting for someone to post this cheap zinger—and boy, it couldn’t have come from a more expected source.

Anyway, my point isn’t that these students’ behavior is a “problem.” It makes them content, and it has no direct impact on my life. The issue lies in the fact that I feel a tad concerned about my adjustment into this new social environment, and I’m wondering if there’s hope for a type-B non-partier in the long term. It’s a matter of compatibility more than anything else.

I.e. you are the problem

On the flip side, there are schools where the immature kids who love getting drunk are the outliers, and they hate how mild and well-behaved everyone else is. It sounds like you just picked the wrong med school.

 

[Osminog]

I.e. you are the problem

I’d dismiss this as low-quality trolling, but this sadly isn’t the first time you’ve gone onto a current medical student’s venting thread just to bash them. Seems like projection to me, honestly. Are they being nice to you in residency? Everything going all right?

 

[SkinnyPremed]

I completely feel you OP.... my school is just like yours. When I first started there were the “cool kids” that we’re actually just dinguses kind of stuck in college that only wanted to get hammered. And I had this mindset that I didn’t like anyone in school besides like 3 good friends. But as the year went on I realized I was having a closed mind. I met some of these “cool kids” and they were actually not bad. I think a lot of people come in insecure and just looking to fit in. And sometimes if you look inward you’ll see that you’re not being as open minded. Once you open your mind and just be yourself and genuinely do your best to get to know people, you will most likely find some cool people. Just remember at this stage of the game it’s quality not quantity. So try to be kind and cordial with everyone and keep your eye out for people you genuinely click with. I met some M4s who said they met their close friends I M2/ M3 so don’t stress it. Just do your thing and be yourself, it will work out OP. Be positive!!

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I’m wondering if there’s hope for a type-B non-partier in the long term. It’s a matter of compatibility more than anything else.

Can’t answer the long term part, but I’m very type B and a non-partier, and I have found the folks I get along with. It also might depend on the school because I haven’t noticed any of the super cliquey behavior mentioned above. People seem to go out of their way to try to include everyone at my school. I actually kind of feel bad having to constantly turn down invites.

 

[KeikoTanaka]

I’d dismiss this as low-quality trolling, but this sadly isn’t the first time you’ve gone onto a current medical student’s venting thread just to bash them. Seems like projection to me, honestly. Are they being nice to you in residency? Everything going all right?

No offense but he has a point though... If you're worrying about your own "compatibility" and saying that it's actually not a problem they have (which you clearly actually think it is a problem because they're "too type A")... Then that is your problem... No one ever told anyone they have to be friends with their cohorts. This is what bars, the gym, and Tinder is for - to meet people outside of your class. Or just find the other kids who are Type B as well? It can't be that hard if there's 130ish kids in your class... Not everyone is actually Type A, but their in-school persona can make them come off this way. If you're not social enough and just discount people as being Type A you'll never actually pierce the surface and find authenticity.