In my own case...
When I entered medical school, I purposely avoided picking a career direction and tried to keep myself completely open to everything, all fields. However, I noticed (and so did my friends) that the psychiatry material just seemed to make sense to me, and I found myself reading beyond the course requirements (in those few moments when there was time). Even the mock patients with psychiatric/psychological issues were the most interesting to me. I could do the H&P on a cardiology or OB patient just fine. But even for those patients, it was their hopes, fears, attitudes that interested me the most.
Like everyone else, I was terrified as I entered the wards. But my psychiatry rotation felt like I was "home." Despite the chaos involved in psychiatric admissions, I felt calm and deeply appreciative of being allowed to help these most vulnerable (often most reviled) in our society. On subsequent rotations, I did good work and learned everything I possibly could. However, during those few quiet moments, I found myself wondering about the psychiatric patients I was forced to abandon at the end of the rotation. I couldn't help worrying about how they were doing. Did anyone let the Bipolar patient have that trial on Lithium we discussed as "plan b?" Was anyone listening to the schizophrenic's fear that some force will take over his body and cause him to commit violence against others - the very thing he's always feared most about his diagnosis? Did the suicidally depressed man ever find someone to take care of his dog during his hospitalization, so that he and Goldie might still be able to help each other when the hospital stay is over?
"Why do I want to go into psychiatry?" Somehow, it's not really the right question. It's now become clear to me that my (short) life experience has led me to this point. And my medical school experience has led me to the conclusion that I MUST go into psychiatry. I know it sounds corny, but it's no longer about what I "want."
