These are the two best posts I have ever read. This is brilliant writing. You are wonderful at making others smile. I cannot get over the multi-leveled humor contained in your two dreamy posts.
Your style is sophomoric but at the same time wonderfully satirical. Between the misspellings, the made up words, "bigred," EVERYTHING, these posts just seem to come from another planet. Please keep them coming!
Interview: Hi, Have a seat.
Me: No thank you. (inner facepalm not thinking)
Interview:OK??? So I see you got a _ gpa?
Me: Well..*nose starts to run*
Interview: Uh. Are you OK? Do you need tissue?
Me: No thank you. (inner facepalm Im confused and nervous now)
Interview: Why do you want to attend this school?
Me: Because (wrong school name) is my top choice school!
Interview: Stare at each other like is this fool for real?
Me: *back,chest,face and ass sweating at an unbelieveable rate*
Interview:Ok thank you do you have any questions?
Me: Yes thank you..(and walk out without thinking)
I walked straight to car, cried on the way home, then smiled and told family I totally rocked the interview. Then went in the restroom, turned on the shower and sat on toliet crying...🙁 It was pretty bad.
you said yes when you should've said no, and no when you should've said yes. was this the whole interview? do you have other interviews in the future?
I had another nightmare after that a week later.I drove to the interview drinking 3 big reds and staying focus and hype. Then I entered the room...
Interview: Good afternoon, nice day huh?
Me: Yeah its nice out. (with a huge grin)
Interview: ??? (slight look of disgust on face)
Interview: So.. tell me about yourself.
Me: Blah blah blah yada yada yada
Interview: ??? (same look on face with a curious stare)
Me:* why are they looking at me like this* stomach boiling with gas from soda and butterflies
Interview: So tell me about this on your app
Me: Huh.. *too focused on holding gas within my body, almost pulled a ass muscle*
Me: Eyes began to water and I could not hold it back. The more I tried to think happy thoughts the more red and watery my eyes got.
Later it was over and I stood up knowing if I dare take a step I would blow a whole in my pants. They shook my hand looking at me from head to toe and gave me a eyebrow raising look. I walked toward door pooting with every step and I KNOW they heard them.
😕 It smelled like bigred and failure. I went to restroom and noticed I had on a brown and grey shoe like a f*ing *******! Thats why the awkward look when I left and my teeth was the color of an apple from the soda! I wish they said something so I could have explained.
🙁 Interviews just isnt my thing or god hates me...[/QUOTE]