- Joined
- Jan 2, 2004
- Messages
- 672
- Reaction score
- 0
I'm applying to undergrad school and would like to read some reviews on my essays.
1. require essay optional topic:
It was a Sunday afternoon. I was sitting on the sofa in the living room, relaxing and watching ?The Crocodile Hunter? on Animal Planet. My mother, in the kitchen, poked her head into the hallway and asked me, in Vietnamese, ?Huy, would you like a snack??
I felt hungry, so I answered with a jovial, ?Sure.? After a few minutes, my hunger grew. I began to imagine the bag of chips or popcorn that I was about to receive. My daydream ended abruptly as my attention turned toward my mother and the snack that she was bringing out. Not until the snack was in arm?s reach did I realize what my mother?s treat for me was. To my dismay, it was boiled beets - beets in all their glory of red and purple juices, which oozed out from the flesh.
That was many years ago. Nevertheless, the differences between my mother and me still remain. I like to listen to techno, while my mother is passionate about Vietnamese oldies, and considers techno to be a serious health risk. My mother dislikes pizza, while I worship the oven it is cooked in. The list of examples showing how my mother and I disagree on matters of cultural preference can go on and on.
Still, in spite of our differences, her remarkable personal traits help me to connect with my mother. Take her eccentricity, for example. My mother owns a tailor shop with a garden in front, and, to maintain the appearance that the plants bloom all year round, she occasionally puts in fake flowers. It is truly funny when customers remark about how gorgeous the flowers look, even if they happen to be in my mother?s shop during the midst of winter. She has a great time explaining to the customers that the flowers are not real. Then, she gleefully observes the confounded looks on their faces as they handle these unreal flowers with disbelief. I really enjoy this kind of unexpected mischief on the part of my mother.
Then, there is her cleverness. From my mother, I have learned how to create a whole new meal from yesterday?s leftovers. It turns out that one can make a stir-fry from all kinds of leftover foods. Ingredients may range from green beans to rice to various meats. I will be sure to make good use of this knowledge when I am in college.
Although red beets, fake flowers, and leftovers might make a teenager feel that his mother is a bit strange, these examples bring out distinctive personality traits that, in my eyes, make her a fascinating person. Perhaps, the story about red beets is a perfect metaphor about my relationship with my mother. Although I felt uneasy about eating the beets at first, I ended up accepting them anyway. In a similar way, I have learned to cope with - and even to respect - my mother?s unique preferences and tastes.
--------------------------------------------------------
Supplementary essay:
I never fully believed that every cloud could have a silver lining until three men broke into and robbed my house. The robbery seemed like more than a cloud at the time; it seemed like the most horrible experience anyone could have, as if a storm had come and washed us all out. As time has passed, I have begun to see the good that came with the storm and realized that if there can be a silver lining in a storm cloud, there can be a silver lining in any cloud. With the robbery experience, I gained a new optimism that I will be able to keep with me forever.
I always had been close with my family, but I preferred to spend free time with my friends. I knew I could count on my family and that they would always be there. I never thought twice about that until the day of the robbery.
Coming home from school , my mom told me about what happened. I became infuriated. I was scared, shocked, and unsure of how to react. I had never imagined that something so horrible could happen to my mom or to someone so close to me. Two men had been lurking in the shadows of the hallway, ready to pounce, when my mom entered. They attacked her, covered her mouth, and took the telephone. They tied her hands up with the telephone line then dragged her into her bedroom while kicking her in the stomach and screaming demands and profanities. As my mom told me the story, it almost seemed unreal. My mother plead, to them not to kill her, ?Don?t kill me. I still have three children to raise,? she said. After showing them all the money and jewelry, they threatened my mother and hit her in the back of the head, causing her to pass out.
The story seemed like one from TV. It seemed like something that might happen to other people but not to my family. Though my mom had been the one to experience the complete event, I felt as if I had been there too in many ways?vulnerable and violated.
Although I will never forgive fully the men who assaulted my mother and robbed my family, the robbery has served to bring me closer than ever to my mother and to make me cherish her more. I have come to realize that an individual?s time on earth is limited and to think about it more consciously. Since the incident, I have found myself staying by my mother?s side, cherishing her fake flowers and her warm laughs more than ever. I have found the silver lining to the darkest cloud I have seen.
-----------------------------------------------------
can you comment on whether you like the essays. Do you think the adcom will like it?
BTW i'm applying to NYU, UMich, Harvard, and Boston University.
1. require essay optional topic:
It was a Sunday afternoon. I was sitting on the sofa in the living room, relaxing and watching ?The Crocodile Hunter? on Animal Planet. My mother, in the kitchen, poked her head into the hallway and asked me, in Vietnamese, ?Huy, would you like a snack??
I felt hungry, so I answered with a jovial, ?Sure.? After a few minutes, my hunger grew. I began to imagine the bag of chips or popcorn that I was about to receive. My daydream ended abruptly as my attention turned toward my mother and the snack that she was bringing out. Not until the snack was in arm?s reach did I realize what my mother?s treat for me was. To my dismay, it was boiled beets - beets in all their glory of red and purple juices, which oozed out from the flesh.
That was many years ago. Nevertheless, the differences between my mother and me still remain. I like to listen to techno, while my mother is passionate about Vietnamese oldies, and considers techno to be a serious health risk. My mother dislikes pizza, while I worship the oven it is cooked in. The list of examples showing how my mother and I disagree on matters of cultural preference can go on and on.
Still, in spite of our differences, her remarkable personal traits help me to connect with my mother. Take her eccentricity, for example. My mother owns a tailor shop with a garden in front, and, to maintain the appearance that the plants bloom all year round, she occasionally puts in fake flowers. It is truly funny when customers remark about how gorgeous the flowers look, even if they happen to be in my mother?s shop during the midst of winter. She has a great time explaining to the customers that the flowers are not real. Then, she gleefully observes the confounded looks on their faces as they handle these unreal flowers with disbelief. I really enjoy this kind of unexpected mischief on the part of my mother.
Then, there is her cleverness. From my mother, I have learned how to create a whole new meal from yesterday?s leftovers. It turns out that one can make a stir-fry from all kinds of leftover foods. Ingredients may range from green beans to rice to various meats. I will be sure to make good use of this knowledge when I am in college.
Although red beets, fake flowers, and leftovers might make a teenager feel that his mother is a bit strange, these examples bring out distinctive personality traits that, in my eyes, make her a fascinating person. Perhaps, the story about red beets is a perfect metaphor about my relationship with my mother. Although I felt uneasy about eating the beets at first, I ended up accepting them anyway. In a similar way, I have learned to cope with - and even to respect - my mother?s unique preferences and tastes.
--------------------------------------------------------
Supplementary essay:
I never fully believed that every cloud could have a silver lining until three men broke into and robbed my house. The robbery seemed like more than a cloud at the time; it seemed like the most horrible experience anyone could have, as if a storm had come and washed us all out. As time has passed, I have begun to see the good that came with the storm and realized that if there can be a silver lining in a storm cloud, there can be a silver lining in any cloud. With the robbery experience, I gained a new optimism that I will be able to keep with me forever.
I always had been close with my family, but I preferred to spend free time with my friends. I knew I could count on my family and that they would always be there. I never thought twice about that until the day of the robbery.
Coming home from school , my mom told me about what happened. I became infuriated. I was scared, shocked, and unsure of how to react. I had never imagined that something so horrible could happen to my mom or to someone so close to me. Two men had been lurking in the shadows of the hallway, ready to pounce, when my mom entered. They attacked her, covered her mouth, and took the telephone. They tied her hands up with the telephone line then dragged her into her bedroom while kicking her in the stomach and screaming demands and profanities. As my mom told me the story, it almost seemed unreal. My mother plead, to them not to kill her, ?Don?t kill me. I still have three children to raise,? she said. After showing them all the money and jewelry, they threatened my mother and hit her in the back of the head, causing her to pass out.
The story seemed like one from TV. It seemed like something that might happen to other people but not to my family. Though my mom had been the one to experience the complete event, I felt as if I had been there too in many ways?vulnerable and violated.
Although I will never forgive fully the men who assaulted my mother and robbed my family, the robbery has served to bring me closer than ever to my mother and to make me cherish her more. I have come to realize that an individual?s time on earth is limited and to think about it more consciously. Since the incident, I have found myself staying by my mother?s side, cherishing her fake flowers and her warm laughs more than ever. I have found the silver lining to the darkest cloud I have seen.
-----------------------------------------------------
can you comment on whether you like the essays. Do you think the adcom will like it?
BTW i'm applying to NYU, UMich, Harvard, and Boston University.
