I disagree that we're all individually qualified and deserving of that scholarship. It's an extremely naive thing to say. It's a comforting lie. I know there are people with much greater accomplishments than me. It would be a lie to believe that I'm as qualified as those people.
Matter of fact, we're already competing for the acceptance spots as there were more interviews than available seats.
Whether you're choosing to acknowledge it or not, life is made of multiple competition because resources and opportunities are limited. However, it doesn't mean that we should have a negative attitude towards it or resentment toward our competitors.
This is just a philosophical argument I wanted to make just to address your points and is not really related premed stuff. Instead, I just use this premed example to expose the false idea of pacifism and lack of hierarchy in individuals in terms of effort and accomplishments. I know that all people admitted to Penn are great students, but there will be some that would have pushed things a little further.
Anyways
Good to confirm that internal ranking is no longer a thing because it can have negative repercussions...
I see what you’re saying, and I understand why you disagree with me. And yes, I do acknowledge the inherent competition (like above, when I said “I get it’s a zero-sum game”). But my friend, even those individuals who have all the 1st author pubs in the world and presidential medals of distinction or whatever, they don’t necessarily bring more value to this world than you or I do. Plus, items on a resume - although obviously important to adcomms - is in reality only a tiny sliver of one’s story. People who belong to groups subject to insidious oppression both historically and presently (URM, LGBTQ, FGLI, etc) may not have the resources or support to look quite as good on paper. But I HOPE that adcomms take into account all of our individual, interesting, and fantastic stories as they decide who gets merit scholarships.
All I’m trying to say is, you are very special and talented and deserving (which you seem to know already from your other posts on SDN), but so is everyone else who applied. There’s so much luck, so much bias in this process. No one is guaranteed anything and no one is immediately out of the running.
So it’s not worth it to think of this as a competition. It’s more worth it to see how your luck falls (or where Providence leads, if you prefer) and take every decision with a grain of salt. You seem to enjoy stoicism - shouldn’t this help your practice? Instead of seeing every A or R as an evaluation of your worth in comparison to others, think of it as a game of luck where you worked your butt off to increase your chances but in the end it did (or did not) work out purely by chance.
Good luck in the rest of the cycle friend. (Feel free to respond or dm me, this is fun)