Dating in Med School for AAs

[nygiants fan]

You can't speak for all black women and those 4 black girls don't represent the entire race. That is like me saying all black men are on the down low and spread AIDS, and all black men are bad fathers and are incarcerated or have been.

Miss, kindly scroll up and look at my first post which happens to be on this page. I'm not basing this on only those 4 girls. That would be stupid. I'm basing this on ALL black girls that I have encountered from when I started dating in high school. If it's too much trouble for you to scroll up, I'll give you a summary of me: upper middle class background, both parents are doctors, have summered in Europe my entire life, private school my entire life, former athlete, smart (smart enough to get into med school haha), MS1, will graduate med school with $0 in debt paid for by my parents as long as I stay around the top of my class (which I am), blahblahblah. This issue that I have is that I have dated plenty of attractive women from all of the other races, but have never been able to date a black girl for the reasons I listed and the other posters were kind enough to elaborate on this thread (again specifically this page). Is there something fundamentally wrong with me? Honestly, I don't think so. Not even a little bit. I'm not saying I'm perfect (not a single man alive is), but I'm pretty confident in myself as a person, my dating abilities, my looks, and what I bring to the table and have very little reason to think otherwise.

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[JaneAustenFan]

Miss, kindly scroll up and look at my first post which happens to be on this page. I'm not basing this on only those 4 girls. That would be stupid. I'm basing this on ALL black girls that I have encountered from when I started dating in high school. If it's too much trouble for you to scroll up, I'll give you a summary of me: upper middle class background, both parents are doctors, have summered in Europe my entire life, private school my entire life, former athlete, smart (smart enough to get into med school haha), MS1, will graduate med school with $0 in debt paid for by my parents as long as I stay around the top of my class (which I am), blahblahblah. This issue that I have is that I have dated plenty of attractive women from all of the other races, but have never been able to date a black girl for the reasons I listed and the other posters were kind enough to elaborate on this thread (again specifically this page). Is there something fundamentally wrong with me? Honestly, I don't think so. Not even a little bit. I'm not saying I'm perfect (not a single man alive is), but I'm pretty confident in myself as a person, my dating abilities, my looks, and what I bring to the table and have very little reason to think otherwise.

There is obviously something wrong with the way you judge based on who you have encountered in your probably less than 25 years of life and throughout private school no less. High school is hardly the real world and college is not that much closer to it either. Like I said, I don't see a lot of black pre-med males out there either or in many other professions requiring more than a high school diploma. What does that say about black men? Or would that be unfair to generalize? Like I said before (you can scroll up for that as well) maybe it is just who you interact with, your attitude about black women in general, or how you or the people you interact with were raised. There is no way anyone can tell you why you or anyone else experiences what you do, but it doesn't make sense to say all or even most of one group is a certain way when you could not have possible met all or most of that group. If every black female you encountered has given you grief then that is unfortunate, but it doesn't mean every black female will and if you go through life with your mind made up that they will then you will not be disappointed because every one of them encountered will be exactly what you expect and everyone that isn't will be some random exception to your rule.

 

[nygiants fan]

There is obviously something wrong with the way you judge everyone based on who you have encountered in your probably less than 25 years of life. High school is hardly the real world and college is not that much closer to it either. Like I said, I don't see a lot of black pre-med males out there either or in many other professions requiring more than a high school diploma. What does that say about black men? Or would that be unfair to generalize?

I apologize for only having lived 22 years and for formulating opinions based on events and people that I have met in my lifetime. Obviously, I know nothing. You must be wise beyond your years. I think I'll wait until I'm 40 to formulate opinions and judgements on people. Oh wait.......that's completely idiotic. I'll agree with your point on there not being a lot of black men on the pre-med track. It's a travesty. But your first sentence is a joke. I'll be a doctor when I'm 26. I hope to God that I've been judging, learning, and making opinions all this time otherwise I'll be in for some trouble!

 

[JaneAustenFan]

I apologize for only having lived 22 years and for formulating opinions based on events and people that I have met in my lifetime. Obviously, I know nothing. You must be wise beyond your years. I think I'll wait until I'm 40 to formulate opinions and judgements on people. Oh wait.......that's completely idiotic. I'll agree with your point on there not being a lot of black men on the pre-med track. It's a travesty. But your first sentence is a joke. I'll be a doctor when I'm 26. I hope to God that I've been judging, learning, and making opinions all this time otherwise I'll be in for some trouble!

Passing judgment on individuals is fine since you have your own experiences with each individual to back up those opinions. Passing judgments on an entire group of people is idiotic. There is no trouble with learning and forming opinions about things. There is trouble with formulating an opinion and not being flexible about it and overgeneralizing, because then your patients would be in trouble. The lack of black men pursuing higher education in general is more than a tragedy, its an issue that can be resolved and takes the back seat to more meaningless discussions. I self-identify as black, I am female and I do not have a problem with people dating outside their race and I am not the only one based on my experience. The ones that do care tend to stand out more and are more memorable I am sure.

 

[kg062008]

Why are you wondering anything about people you don't even know? There are no non-black medical students that have families? When has that ever been a bad thing? Why would you assume educated black people are ghetto?

There is a big difference between having a family and being married, and having kids by random thug Negroes you are not married to. Most young black girls tend to have the latter.

 

[Techmed07]

+1

"Thug lust" isn't the way I would have phrased it, but that's exactly how it is haha. There are 3 black men in my class (including myself). All of us are incredibly preppy (with one tipping over to fratty) and pretty far from stereotypical. The 4 black girls in class (only 3 of whom I personally would date) want nothing to do with us at all because we are apparently too feminine, too white, too whack, and so on haha. One of the guys is currently dating a beautiful latina who is a nurse, the other is dating a blonde-haired green eyed white girl that dated an SEC quarterback for a time while in college, and I'm currently seeing a white girl unofficially. We dialed up the hate from the black girls in our class by a hundred fold. Lose-lose situation.

And to the girl that posted above me, just because YOU don't go after thugs doesn't mean the vast majority of African American women don't. They do. I and everyone else here has seen it firsthand.

In some terms I agree with the, "Thug Lust" with black females. However, that is usually confined to females in high school. Females in professional and college are usually somewhat over that (perhaps to a lesser extent in college).

Now, what I do see that women want is a strong black man. Not, a preppy carlton type guy, which is it seems you and your friends are. To classify yourself as "pretty" already renders a bit of your personality in the weaker spectrum of all men. Even the best looking guys I know wouldnt call themselves "pretty" and if a girl called them that it would be an insult at least in the black community

Women, especially Black women want "Handsome". To summarize in pictures

No (Nygiant.. this is what you sound like)

Yes

What the hell is thug lust? You mean disrespectful pricks?

To answer your question, pick almost any stereotypical male behavior and some women think that Asian men in particular lack in every one of those areas. It doesn't have to be true to be a stereotype.

I personally am not attracted to black men, but I am also part Native American and grew up around more of them and people gravitate to what is most familiar.

There are hardly any black people in my pre-med classes and there are absolutely no black men in these classes where I attend. That doesn't mean I generalize about a group because of my own experiences. Does the lack of black male pre-meds speak to some issue with their intelligence? Of course not, but using some of the arguments posted here it must.

No reason to get angry.. It is true what he speaks of especially of younger black women... This is illustrated in the music industry pretty clearly. Many of the R&B crooners Usher, Chris Brown etc are tatted up. Whereas other popstars seem to have a more gentlemen appearance. Rap clearly an African American driven genera illustrates what is "sexy" to the masses of AA men and women.

For men: Light skin girl, with occasion dark skin girl.

Fellas you know hard how is to find a decent picture on a video vixen google that would not get me banned. lol


Women: "Thug Lust" (especially true for younger girls)

I think the problem here, is that in professional school it is a little too late. By the time majority of black women realize thug lust is idiotic that have already missed out on a lot of good AA guys.. carry on

 

[ineed2stpsmurfn]

"By the time majority of black women realize thug lust is idiotic that have already missed out on a lot of good AA guys."


exactly.


as far as I am concerned (a black male pre-med applying next year and fyi i party so I'm normal lol, entj), the majority of black women my age are not even on my radar.... mainly because they are chasing after some thug love as was mentioned. they want a guy who is tatted up, not possessing 93% in physics 2. The funny thing is they then have the nerve to complain and admonish us for chasing white women (my girlfriend is white, previous one asian... yea buddy lol). I figure they deserve every bit of the convict they are chasing.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

There is a big difference between having a family and being married, and having kids by random thug Negroes you are not married to. Most young black girls tend to have the latter.

Most young black girls have no more children than Hispanic females of white females. Most of my friends are white and they all have at least one child and only one is still married. I have one really close black friend I keep in contact with and she has no children and is working on a Master's degree. Based on what I see most young black males have children they don't deal with period regardless of the race of the mother of the children. That doesn't mean people should assume every black man they encounter is a bad father.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

"By the time majority of black women realize thug lust is idiotic that have already missed out on a lot of good AA guys."


exactly.


as far as I am concerned (a black male pre-med applying next year and fyi i party so I'm normal lol, entj), the majority of black women my age are not even on my radar.... mainly because they are chasing after some thug love as was mentioned. they want a guy who is tatted up, not possessing 93% in physics 2. The funny thing is they then have the nerve to complain and admonish us for chasing white women (my girlfriend is white, previous one asian... yea buddy lol). I figure they deserve every bit of the convict they are chasing.

No one with any sense wants someone that looks like jail bait. Not one of those men are attractive to me, but then again I am not attracted to black males so maybe that is why.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

There is a big difference between having a family and being married, and having kids by random thug Negroes you are not married to. Most young black girls tend to have the latter.

Where do you live? No one I associate with would interact with someone who referred to themselves as a "thug". Not everything is a BET video. I see just as many clueless girls of all different races chasing men who pretend they are something they are not. The men tend to perpetuate this idea of being a thug more than anyone is encouraging them to be. I mean look at the homicide rates in cities like Chicago and Oakland. They are not killing each other to fulfill some woman's fantasy. No doubt, the black community is in crisis, but to just point the finger at black females is careless and dishonest.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

In some terms I agree with the, "Thug Lust" with black females. However, that is usually confined to females in high school. Females in professional and college are usually somewhat over that (perhaps to a lesser extent in college).

Now, what I do see that women want is a strong black man. Not, a preppy carlton type guy, which is it seems you and your friends are. To classify yourself as "pretty" already renders a bit of your personality in the weaker spectrum of all men. Even the best looking guys I know wouldnt call themselves "pretty" and if a girl called them that it would be an insult at least in the black community

Women, especially Black women want "Handsome". To summarize in pictures

No (Nygiant.. this is what you sound like)

Yes

Umm, no.







No reason to get angry.. It is true what he speaks of especially of younger black women... This is illustrated in the music industry pretty clearly. Many of the R&B crooners Usher, Chris Brown etc are tatted up. Whereas other popstars seem to have a more gentlemen appearance. Rap clearly an African American driven genera illustrates what is "sexy" to the masses of AA men and women.

For men: Light skin girl, with occasion dark skin girl.

Who the hell is this?

Fellas you know hard how is to find a decent picture on a video vixen google that would not get me banned. lol


Women: "Thug Lust" (especially true for younger girls)

No comment. I was taught to refrain from using the name of the Lord in vain.

Terrible inside and out



I think the problem here, is that in professional school it is a little too late. By the time majority of black women realize thug lust is idiotic that have already missed out on a lot of good AA guys.. carry on

Just because I don't agree with you does not mean I am angry. Try not reading too much into things. The industry is driven by men not black women or women in general. Men are the ones generally deciding what is popular and who and what makes it and sadly those making the decisions aren't even black many times.
No woman shaped these men's images. How anyone can find that gentleman with his eyes closed attractive is beyond me.

 

[2012mdc]

In some terms I agree with the, "Thug Lust" with black females. However, that is usually confined to females in high school. Females in professional and college are usually somewhat over that (perhaps to a lesser extent in college).

Now, what I do see that women want is a strong black man. Not, a preppy carlton type guy, which is it seems you and your friends are. To classify yourself as "pretty" already renders a bit of your personality in the weaker spectrum of all men. Even the best looking guys I know wouldnt call themselves "pretty" and if a girl called them that it would be an insult at least in the black community

Women, especially Black women want "Handsome". To summarize in pictures

No (Nygiant.. this is what you sound like)

Yes









No reason to get angry.. It is true what he speaks of especially of younger black women... This is illustrated in the music industry pretty clearly. Many of the R&B crooners Usher, Chris Brown etc are tatted up. Whereas other popstars seem to have a more gentlemen appearance. Rap clearly an African American driven genera illustrates what is "sexy" to the masses of AA men and women.

For men: Light skin girl, with occasion dark skin girl.

Fellas you know hard how is to find a decent picture on a video vixen google that would not get me banned. lol


Women: "Thug Lust" (especially true for younger girls)

I think the problem here, is that in professional school it is a little too late. By the time majority of black women realize thug lust is idiotic that have already missed out on a lot of good AA guys.. carry on

I've never taken pretty as an insuult but I guess I'm pretty comfortable with my masculinity. And I've never had a problem dating black women (well since college) I agree that thug lust is a problem overall but not really in professional school. I think one factor that hasn't really been mentioned is that many black men in professional school were not raised around many black women. I can only speak for myself but if I hadn't had gone to a UG that had a strong black community I wouldn't be as comfortable around black women bc my HS was 80% Asian and less than 1% black.

I'm not saying this is the case for any of the posters here but it is a factor in general. In my experience black women can be more traditional in terms of waiting for the guy to make the 1st move.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

I've never taken pretty as an insuult but I guess I'm pretty comfortable with my masculinity. And I've never had a problem dating black women (well since college) I agree that thug lust is a problem overall but not really in professional school. I think one factor that hasn't really been mentioned is that many black men in professional school were not raised around many black women. I can only speak for myself but if I hadn't had gone to a UG that had a strong black community I wouldn't be as comfortable around black women bc my HS was 80% Asian and less than 1% black.

I'm not saying this is the case for any of the posters here but it is a factor in general. In my experience black women can be more traditional in terms of waiting for the guy to make the 1st move.

People should look for attributes in a mate that match their sensibilities and upbringing not their insecurities. I could not and would never pursue a "thug", regardless of race. That image is pushed on television and amongst certain circles and it is not being pushed primarily by females. People may have a preference for a certain group and think it necessary to demonize another. I do not prefer black males as mates, but I am not ruling them out completely and I don't find it necessary to generalize negative characteristics about all black males; and there are plenty that come to mind. This thread was about AA dating in medical school, but all of the sudden it has become a free for all on black females. Truthfully, if we are talking about medical school at all then the dynamics between black men and women would be useless to talk about since there are far more black women in medical school and so few black men--- and the numbers do not seem to be improving much.

 

[Techmed07]

People should look for attributes in a mate that match their sensibilities and upbringing not their insecurities. I could and would never pursue a "thug", regardless of race. That image is pushed on television and amongst certain circles and it is not being pushed primarily by females. People may have a preference for a certain group and think it necessary to demonize another. I do not prefer black males as mates, but I am not ruling them out completely and I don't find it necessary to generalize negative characteristics about all black males; and there are plenty that come to mind. This thread was about AA dating in medical school, but all of the sudden it has become a free for all on black females. Truthfully, if we are talking about medical school at all then the dynamics between black men and women would be useless to talk about since there are far more black women in medical school and so few black men--- and the numbers do not seem to be improving much.

No one with any sense wants someone that looks like jail bait. Not one of those men are attractive to me, but then again I am not attracted to black males so maybe that is why.

Most young black girls have no more children than Hispanic females of white females. Most of my friends are white and they all have at least one child and only one is still married. I have one really close black friend I keep in contact with and she has no children and is working on a Master's degree. Based on what I see most young black males have children they don't deal with period regardless of the race of the mother of the children. That doesn't mean people should assume every black man they encounter is a bad father.

What the hell is thug lust? You mean disrespectful pricks?

To answer your question, pick almost any stereotypical male behavior and some women think that Asian men in particular lack in every one of those areas. It doesn't have to be true to be a stereotype.

I personally am not attracted to black men, but I am also part Native American and grew up around more of them and people gravitate to what is most familiar.

There are hardly any black people in my pre-med classes and there are absolutely no black men in these classes where I attend. That doesn't mean I generalize about a group because of my own experiences. Does the lack of black male pre-meds speak to some issue with their intelligence? Of course not, but using some of the arguments posted here it must.

You keep repeating that you are not interested in black guys. What is the point of really continuing with this debate. This is not problem that you have. I can tell you if you had a lot more AA women as friends you would see that this a big concern to them (finding an AA). This is why the debate so heated. Other URMs really don't have this problem to the extent that AA women have it. It is what it is. AA women have the hardest time getting marrried this is a documented phenomenon. Succesful AA men not so much. You seem out of touch with AA community and moreso in touch with your Native American so this converstation may seem foregin to you or make you feel uncomfortable. But, I assure any AA men or women in touch with the community know many of the arguements set forth here are true.

AA Women Arguement:
Black men that are professional are rare but highly desirable.
Black men seem to sell out when the reach a certain sphere (marrying outside the race)
Black men that achieve academic success are not really black, too soft (thug lust component)
AA Women want AA men... ever other race is usually a second choice.
Black men who reach the heights of academics are too arrogant and think they are God's gift to the world (I am sure you can sense this in some of the fellas postings in this forum).

AA Men Arguement:
Black women want thugs when younger and dont desire the fellas who are putting in work academically (thugs include, basketball players, football players etc).
Black women have a chip on their shoulder and a relationship with them doesnt bode well for academic success.
Black women are too insecure.
Black women are too harsh.
Black women do not know how to treat a man.


Now, the discussion if Black men like other races more then AA women depends on who you ask. I assure you though there will be very few black men that will say that are not attracted to AA women. They just are not going to settle when they have a plethora of options (other races).



on my phone sorry for typos

 

[kg062008]

People should look for attributes in a mate that match their sensibilities and upbringing not their insecurities. I could and would never pursue a "thug", regardless of race. That image is pushed on television and amongst certain circles and it is not being pushed primarily by females. People may have a preference for a certain group and think it necessary to demonize another. I do not prefer black males as mates, but I am not ruling them out completely and I don't find it necessary to generalize negative characteristics about all black males; and there are plenty that come to mind. This thread was about AA dating in medical school, but all of the sudden it has become a free for all on black females. Truthfully, if we are talking about medical school at all then the dynamics between black men and women would be useless to talk about since there are far more black women in medical school and so few black men--- and the numbers do not seem to be improving much.

You know why? Because in order for a young black man in high school to impress a young black woman in high school, he has to be a thug. Which leads to lower grades, less college opportunities, etc. Seriously, a lot of problems in the black community start with black women. Anyway I doubt you are even black. You keep bashing black men saying you are not attracted to them and most are not academically inclined. So why do you care? Go to some other thread.

 

[kg062008]

You keep repeating that you are not interested in black guys. What is the point of really continuing with this debate. This is not problem that you have. I can tell you if you had a lot more AA women as friends you would see that this a big concern to them (finding an AA). This is why the debate so heated. Other URMs really don't have this problem to the extent that AA women have it. It is what it is. AA women have the hardest time getting marrried this is a documented phenomenon. Succesful AA men not so much. You seem out of touch with AA community and moreso in touch with your Native American so this converstation may seem foregin to you or make you feel uncomfortable. But, I assure any AA men or women in touch with the community know many of the arguements set forth here are true.

AA Women Arguement:
Black men that are professional are rare but highly desirable.
Black men seem to sell out when the reach a certain sphere (marrying outside the race)
Black men that achieve academic success are not really black, too soft (thug lust component)
AA Women want AA men... ever other race is usually a second choice.
Black men who reach the heights of academics are too arrogant and think they are God's gift to the world (I am sure you can sense this in some of the fellas postings in this forum).

AA Men Arguement:
Black women want thugs when younger and dont desire the fellas who are putting in work academically (thugs include, basketball players, football players etc).
Black women have a chip on their shoulder and a relationship with them doesnt bode well for academic success.
Black women are too insecure.
Black women are too harsh.
Black women do not know how to treat a man.


Now, the discussion if Black men like other races more then AA women depends on who you ask. I assure you though there will be very few black men that will say that are not attracted to AA women. They just are not going to settle when they have a plethora of options (other races).



on my phone sorry for typos

This dude speaks the truth. JAF, read this 100 times.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

You know why? Because in order for a young black man in high school to impress a young black woman in high school, he has to be a thug. Which leads to lower grades, less college opportunities, etc. Seriously, a lot of problems in the black community start with black women. Anyway I doubt you are even black. You keep bashing black men saying you are not attracted to them and most are not academically inclined. So why do you care? Go to some other thread.

Oh, that's rich. Black men can't hack it in high school because of black women? What about personal responsibility? It is always someone else who is at fault. What about lack of ambition or a father figure? Or the fact that people make choices about what is important to them. How is saying I am not generally attracted to black men bashing them? It can apparently only go one way or its bashing? Most of the issues in the black community stem from self-hate and both males and females are guilty of that. I never said there were not black women who foolishly chase after just black males (and the worst of the bunch too), but to say "black women....." (implying all) is incorrect. Depending on what part of the U.S. people live in, there are cultural differences even amongst those of the same race.

Oh, and I am not black because you say I am not? So now you are the one who determines who is black and who isn't? That is beyond arrogant. I don't fit your stereotype so I must be mistaken about my own ethnicity. Regardless of whatever other ethnic background I am, I am still black..

Let me get this straight, I am not attracted to black men so I must not be black? All black women MUST be attracted to black men. This is getting ridiculous and you don't have the right to tell me which thread I can post on. This is a thread about AA dating in medical school not "How can I make my sorry black ass feel better by belittling a whole group of people" thread. Typical.

 

[nygiants fan]

You keep repeating that you are not interested in black guys. What is the point of really continuing with this debate. This is not problem that you have. I can tell you if you had a lot more AA women as friends you would see that this a big concern to them (finding an AA). This is why the debate so heated. Other URMs really don't have this problem to the extent that AA women have it. It is what it is. AA women have the hardest time getting marrried this is a documented phenomenon. Succesful AA men not so much. You seem out of touch with AA community and moreso in touch with your Native American so this converstation may seem foregin to you or make you feel uncomfortable. But, I assure any AA men or women in touch with the community know many of the arguements set forth here are true.

AA Women Arguement:
Black men that are professional are rare but highly desirable.
Black men seem to sell out when the reach a certain sphere (marrying outside the race)
Black men that achieve academic success are not really black, too soft (thug lust component)
AA Women want AA men... ever other race is usually a second choice.
Black men who reach the heights of academics are too arrogant and think they are God's gift to the world (I am sure you can sense this in some of the fellas postings in this forum).

AA Men Arguement:
Black women want thugs when younger and dont desire the fellas who are putting in work academically (thugs include, basketball players, football players etc).
Black women have a chip on their shoulder and a relationship with them doesnt bode well for academic success.
Black women are too insecure.
Black women are too harsh.
Black women do not know how to treat a man.


Now, the discussion if Black men like other races more then AA women depends on who you ask. I assure you though there will be very few black men that will say that are not attracted to AA women. They just are not going to settle when they have a plethora of options (other races).



on my phone sorry for typos

Wow. I enjoyed reading that. And.....I apologize for the arrogance haha. Over the years so many people have told me that I couldn't/shouldn't do well in academics because of my skin color and by proving them wrong time and time again and always having to constantly defend myself, it has hardened my heart and made me quite sarcastic and arrogant. I meant no disrespect. I'm just happy that I found a forum with other African American med students/pre-meds and that most of you can relate and know what I'm going through.

That Carlton picture genuinely made me laugh. Believe it or not, the guys on my team in high school nicknamed me Carlton because of my choice in brands and clothing! Personally, I try to keep my style away from Carlton and more towards vacillating between east coast preppy and SEC gameday hahaha.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

This dude speaks the truth. JAF, read this 100 times.

Reading a generalization 100 times doesn't make it true. There is no way that every black woman fits that description just like not every black woman feels that way about black men.

 

[2012mdc]

Wow. I enjoyed reading that. And.....I apologize for the arrogance haha. Over the years so many people have told me that I couldn't/shouldn't do well in academics because of my skin color and by proving them wrong time and time again and always having to constantly defend myself, it has hardened my heart and made me quite sarcastic and arrogant. I meant no disrespect. I'm just happy that I found a forum with other African American med students/pre-meds and that most of you can relate and know what I'm going through.

That Carlton picture genuinely made me laugh. Believe it or not, the guys on my team in high school nicknamed me Carlton because of my choice in brands and clothing! Personally, I try to keep my style away from Carlton and more towards vacillating between east coast preppy and SEC gameday hahaha.

At least in Atlanta Polo no longer = preppy. Young Dro changed that haha

 

[JaneAustenFan]

Wow. I enjoyed reading that. And.....I apologize for the arrogance haha. Over the years so many people have told me that I couldn't/shouldn't do well in academics because of my skin color and by proving them wrong time and time again and always having to constantly defend myself, it has hardened my heart and made me quite sarcastic and arrogant. I meant no disrespect. I'm just happy that I found a forum with other African American med students/pre-meds and that most of you can relate and know what I'm going through.

That Carlton picture genuinely made me laugh. Believe it or not, the guys on my team in high school nicknamed me Carlton because of my choice in brands and clothing! Personally, I try to keep my style away from Carlton and more towards vacillating between east coast preppy and SEC gameday hahaha.

Laughing at your own comments is a bit narcissistic. No one cares how you dress. Maybe the black males interested in impressing black females should stop trying to and worry about school instead.

 

[nygiants fan]

Laughing at your own comments is a bit narcissistic. No one cares how you dress. Maybe the black males interested in impressing black females should stop trying to and worry about school instead.

Calm down. It was a joke to try to maybe redirect the thread back to friendlier waters, you stupid girl. Anyone could see that. I was making light of myself on purpose. My goodness, you're so pigheaded! You're a pre-med. You will not know anything related to actual med school work until you get there. My grades are very good, thank you very much and these good grades will equate to an ortho or plastics residency in 3.5 years. I'm sorry if this bugs you. I don't know what else to say to you but to calm down, see and accept jokes for what they are, and to stop attacking everyone, please.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

Calm down. It was a joke to try to maybe redirect the thread back to friendlier waters, you stupid girl. Anyone could see that. I was making light of myself on purpose. My goodness, you're so pigheaded! You're a pre-med. You will not know anything related to actual med school work until you get there. My grades are very good, thank you very much and these good grades will equate to an ortho or plastics residency in 3.5 years. I'm sorry if this bugs you. I don't know what else to say to you but to calm down, see and accept jokes for what they are, and to stop attacking everyone, please.

I don't even know you so how am I supposed to know when you are joking? The stupid and pigheaded bit, were you joking about that too? Learn to respect women.

I never questioned your grades. Again, I don't know you so I don't really care what you choose to do with your life. I basically wrote that all black men trying to impress black women (you made that clear that isn't you) should reconsider their priorities. From what I have seen, men will try and impress women regardless race.

Who am I attacking? I am disagreeing with ideas regardless of who is writing them. When have I ever specifically used anyone's name on here? I shouldn't comment because I don't agree with you or because I am female?

 

[Techmed07]

Nygiant and JAF should date.



/thread

 

[2012mdc]

Laughing at your own comments is a bit narcissistic. No one cares how you dress. Maybe the black males interested in impressing black females should stop trying to and worry about school instead.

Maybe you don't care how people dress but many people make stereotypes based on how people dress. It's one of the reasons I stopped wearing baggier jeans although they are more comfortable.

Calm down. It was a joke to try to maybe redirect the thread back to friendlier waters, you stupid girl. Anyone could see that. I was making light of myself on purpose. My goodness, you're so pigheaded! You're a pre-med. You will not know anything related to actual med school work until you get there. My grades are very good, thank you very much and these good grades will equate to an ortho or plastics residency in 3.5 years. I'm sorry if this bugs you. I don't know what else to say to you but to calm down, see and accept jokes for what they are, and to stop attacking everyone, please.

As an M4 who is applying to a competive specialty with excellent grades and Step scores I would advise you not to count your chickens before they hatch. It's great that you are doing very well so far and I hope your success continues (it would be great if ortho or plastics had more color). But realize you have a long journey ahead, M1 is the easiest part of the first 3 years, and ortho and plastics especially are insanely competitive. Be careful not to become too arrogant or too comfortable. Keep working hard and keep all the female issues secondary (or tertiary lol)

 

[JaneAustenFan]

Nygiant and JAF should date.



/thread

I would never date a Giants fan (not sure if that is what the name is referring to).

And yes that is generalizing.

Sorry.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

Maybe you don't care how people dress but many people make stereotypes based on how people dress. It's one of the reasons I stopped wearing baggier jeans although they are more comfortable.



As an M4 who is applying to a competive specialty with excellent grades and Step scores I would advise you not to count your chickens before they hatch. It's great that you are doing very well so far and I hope your success continues (it would be great if ortho or plastics had more color). But realize you have a long journey ahead, M1 is the easiest part of the first 3 years, and ortho and plastics especially are insanely competitive. Be careful not to become too arrogant or too comfortable. Keep working hard and keep all the female issues secondary (or tertiary lol)

Oh, God. Orgo. I have a final in 3 days. I have to go. Fun chatting (not really), but everyone is entitled the their opinion, even if they are wrong.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

Maybe you don't care how people dress but many people make stereotypes based on how people dress. It's one of the reasons I stopped wearing baggier jeans although they are more comfortable.



As an M4 who is applying to a competive specialty with excellent grades and Step scores I would advise you not to count your chickens before they hatch. It's great that you are doing very well so far and I hope your success continues (it would be great if ortho or plastics had more color). But realize you have a long journey ahead, M1 is the easiest part of the first 3 years, and ortho and plastics especially are insanely competitive. Be careful not to become too arrogant or too comfortable. Keep working hard and keep all the female issues secondary (or tertiary lol)

I wouldn't change for people who will have no impact on my life. For an interview maybe, but I am not going to be pre-occupied with impressing other people.

 

[nygiants fan]

At least in Atlanta Polo no longer = preppy. Young Dro changed that haha

Polo is getting too mainstream now, brah (or sis...can't tell from your username haha). Brooks Brothers and Burberry are still pretty solid or you could go with heavy hitters like Thomas Pink and Ermenegildo Zegna. It's pretty much a matter of preference at that point though whether you like the English cut of Thomas Pink or the Italian of Zegna.

 

[nygiants fan]

Maybe you don't care how people dress but many people make stereotypes based on how people dress. It's one of the reasons I stopped wearing baggier jeans although they are more comfortable.



As an M4 who is applying to a competive specialty with excellent grades and Step scores I would advise you not to count your chickens before they hatch. It's great that you are doing very well so far and I hope your success continues (it would be great if ortho or plastics had more color). But realize you have a long journey ahead, M1 is the easiest part of the first 3 years, and ortho and plastics especially are insanely competitive. Be careful not to become too arrogant or too comfortable. Keep working hard and keep all the female issues secondary (or tertiary lol)

Thanks! One step at a time.....that's what I have to keep telling myself. 3 more semesters of pre-clinicals to go! And as an aside, New York Giants Football for the WIN in spite of Eli. I never really liked him. I can't wait for whoever takes his place in the next couple of years.

 

[2012mdc]

I wouldn't change for people who will have no impact on my life. For an interview maybe, but I am not going to be pre-occupied with impressing other people.

It's not about impressing other people. It's about not getting harassed by cops, bouncers, storeowners etc. Only black males would truly understand

 

[Telekinesis]

Why is JAF responding? She doesn't even date black guys so why does it matter to her what we say? Sounds like she is just arguing for the sake of it..

 

[YoungGregory]

In some terms I agree with the, "Thug Lust" with black females. However, that is usually confined to females in high school. Females in professional and college are usually somewhat over that (perhaps to a lesser extent in college).

Now, what I do see that women want is a strong black man. Not, a preppy carlton type guy, which is it seems you and your friends are. To classify yourself as "pretty" already renders a bit of your personality in the weaker spectrum of all men. Even the best looking guys I know wouldnt call themselves "pretty" and if a girl called them that it would be an insult at least in the black community

Women, especially Black women want "Handsome". To summarize in pictures

No (Nygiant.. this is what you sound like)
[/IMG]

Lmao.

At least in Atlanta Polo no longer = preppy. Young Dro changed that haha

True. Seeing these dudes wear 4x polo button ups in the club is kind of saddening. Haha.

And 90% of EDUCATED AA women I've come in contact with don't have "thug lust" (wtf?). They want educated, confident, responsible dudes with a little bit of swag.. Lol.

Maybe in high school that was the case, but I've never experienced that in college. I guess it depends on the school though.. My school is known as J-crew U, so white and black people here are super preppy..

 

[2012mdc]

Lmao.



True. Seeing these dudes wear 4x polo button ups in the club is kind of saddening. Haha.

And 90% of EDUCATED AA women I've come in contact with don't have "thug lust" (wtf?). They want educated, confident, responsible dudes with a little bit of swag.. Lol.

Maybe in high school that was the case, but I've never experienced that in college. I guess it depends on the school though.. My school is known as J-crew U, so white and black people here are super preppy..

I agree. The thug lust aspect is not a large factor in college and especially not in medical school. I really think the problem is due to the difference in numbers as well as the upbringing and situations people have been in. Also let's not pretend that medical students are the most socially gifted people out there

 

[JaneAustenFan]

Why is JAF responding? She doesn't even date black guys so why does it matter to her what we say? Sounds like she is just arguing for the sake of it..

Sounds like you are trying to control who makes comments. Let's review the title of this thread. AA dating in medical school. I am African-American and I will be going to medical school. So in some strange way I thought this thread might be relevant. You aren't the only ones who read this thread. Why does what I say bother you so much. I don't question why you or anyone else who doesn't date blacks post here. Why are you questioning me? Don't respond to me if you don't feel what I am saying applies to you. Oh, and only my friends call me JAF, so please refrain from doing so.

 

[Techmed07]

You know why? Because in order for a young black man in high school to impress a young black woman in high school, he has to be a thug. Which leads to lower grades, less college opportunities, etc. Seriously, a lot of problems in the black community start with black women. Anyway I doubt you are even black. You keep bashing black men saying you are not attracted to them and most are not academically inclined. So why do you care? Go to some other thread.

REAL talk. My grades were horrible in high school cause I was chasing girls (like most high school boyS do). However,while my white friends were setting up study dates. I was rolling deep in the mall, trying to play basketbal, talking like an idiot, and trying to be a rapper to impress some girl that was looking for the most thugish player she could fine. Change my game plan my junior year. Did not get any attention from black girls but definitely scoop me up a little bit of everything else.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

It's not about impressing other people. It's about not getting harassed by cops, bouncers, storeowners etc. Only black males would truly understand

Oh, because black women never get harassed. If a cop has a problem with blacks, it wouldn't matter what you were wearing they will find a reason. I have brothers and they have had encounters with the police for no reason and a few times I was with them when it happened so I may not fully understand what it is like to be a black male, but I have my own experiences that are not any less valid.

Depending on where you live and how police interact with the locals, I could see how altering your image may be beneficial.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

REAL talk. My grades were horrible in high school cause I was chasing girls (like most high school boyS do). However,while my white friends were setting up study dates. I was rolling deep in the mall, trying to play basketbal, talking like an idiot, and trying to be a rapper to impress some girl that was looking for the most thugish player she could fine. Change my game plan my junior year. Did not get any attention from black girls but definitely scoop me up a little bit of everything else.

So it is the girls' fault that you didn't study more, or was it your choice that you didn't do well? You set your priorities not them. The girls where I went to school chased boys and the smart ones who were secure with who they were didn't change who they were to impress a guy. The ones that did got what they went after (i.e. they went looking for trouble and got trouble) and learned their lesson the hard way. People, regardless of race, have expectations of what black men are like and what black women are like, and so on. You didn't and don't have to live up to that image if that is not who you are and if you chose to try and live up to that image it shouldn't be someone else's fault.

Most of this masculine bs is stuff men push regardless of race. Machismo is not something a woman made up. A lot of men are always posturing for their own self-esteem more than anyone else's benefit. Then you have to look at circumstances. If you come from tough and sometimes dangerous circumstances, a woman might look for a man that runs along those same lines. Women aren't born saying, "I want to marry a thug". That is stuff they get from television and other lost souls.

I am not going to name names, but I can think of at least two non-black female celebrities that only date black men who fall into the definition of a thug someone gave earlier (basketball players, other athletes, rappers,... etc.). Occasionally, I volunteer with junior high students in an after school program. Granted, the majority of the students at the school are not black. The girls are so naive as are most that age. They all love the rappers (even the ones that disrespect women) and the athletes (even those that are unfaithful to their spouses) and others. They don't care about the young men who are doing well in school, they want to live a certain lifestyle and they want to be associated with certain aspects of black culture. They admire people who are famous and popular and they have certain expectations about how those people act. And sometimes they project that onto the whole African-American community, but see they're children so I can understand that they generalize. It could be that everyone black (except me) they encounter has validated those expectations, but it doesn't mean that everyone black they encounter always will.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

Lmao.



True. Seeing these dudes wear 4x polo button ups in the club is kind of saddening. Haha.

And 90% of EDUCATED AA women I've come in contact with don't have "thug lust" (wtf?). They want educated, confident, responsible dudes with a little bit of swag.. Lol.

Maybe in high school that was the case, but I've never experienced that in college. I guess it depends on the school though.. My school is known as J-crew U, so white and black people here are super preppy..

Even this image and the whole basis for Carlton's character and contrasting him with Will's character was something a male came up with no doubt. Will was cast as the cool, desirable, and attractive one. Carlton was the socially awkward nerd. Who's pushing this thug/macho image as one men should live up to? A woman? Probably not. A lot of women just fall in line with whatever is already in place.

 

[Chrome19]

I'm a black male hoping to end up with a black female ultimately. I find black women very attractive but sometimes these girls just make it hard for a brother. I still love y'all though

 

[2012mdc]

I'm a black male hoping to end up with a black female ultimately. I find black women very attractive but sometimes these girls just make it hard for a brother. I still love y'all though

Go somewhere like Atlanta and you won't have a problem.

 

[Telekinesis]

JAF I see what you are saying but no one here purposely excluding black women. i personally see it as a form of self hate if you don't find your own race desirable.

 

[Telekinesis]

Even this image and the whole basis for Carlton's character and contrasting him with Will's character was something a male came up with no doubt. Will was cast as the cool, desirable, and attractive one. Carlton was the socially awkward nerd. Who's pushing this thug/macho image as one men should live up to? A woman? Probably not. A lot of women just fall in line with whatever is already in place.

You all do now that most of the people that own tv are white. Music too. This isn't what black people are pushing. For example socially aware rappers like Common or Mos Def hardly ever get any air time but guys like 50 cent and Young Jeezy get all the play. We don't own all the media, the media owns us so to speak.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

JAF I see what you are saying but no one here purposely excluding black women. i personally see it as a form of self hate if you don't find your own race desirable.

Hmm, I don't know about that one, and it is not just for the sake of arguing either. In some cases it may be true because some people really do have a negative view of black people even if they are black. It is easier to join the chorus than it is to go solo and think for yourself.

However, I have not been attracted to black guys (not saying it will never happen), but it doesn't mean I don't think black people, or black men more specifically, aren't attractive. I actually have not been attracted to white guys either, but there are definitely some I would consider good looking. I think it is because I am not around a lot of black people (we are so spread out in parts of California) so who is there to like that is black? To me, there are decent looking people of every race and of every gender.

For instance, I know plenty of beautiful women; some are very attractive, but I am not attracted to women. I don't hate women, I just don't like them like that. If someone isn't interested in black women then I think it is fine to have a preference, but it shouldn't be based on stereotypes that can't possibly apply to everyone from that group.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

You all do now that most of the people that own tv are white. Music too. This isn't what black people are pushing. For example socially aware rappers like Common or Mos Def hardly ever get any air time but guys like 50 cent and Young Jeezy get all the play. We don't own all the media, the media owns us so to speak.

Right, and what do black males and females see and hear on television and in the lyrics of music about what it means to be black? I don't support (buy or listen to the music of) most rappers, because their image of a black woman isn't who I am or what I want to encourage. I don't care how great their music sounds or how out of touch with the music scene I may appear. Their image of black men isn't what I agree with either even if some people would act that way regardless of the music. I think blacks should be even more careful about the images that are portrayed in the media about them even more than other groups.

 

[YoungGregory]

Hmm, I don't know about that one, and it is not just for the sake of arguing either. In some cases it may be true because some people really do have a negative view of black people even if they are black. It is easier to join the chorus than it is to go solo and think for yourself.

However, I have not been attracted to black guys (not saying it will never happen), but it doesn't mean I don't think black people, or black men more specifically, aren't attractive. I actually have not been attracted to white guys either, but there are definitely some I would consider good looking. I think it is because I am not around a lot of black people (we are so spread out in parts of California) so who is there to like that is black? To me, there are decent looking people of every race and of every gender.

For instance, I know plenty of beautiful women; some are very attractive, but I am not attracted to women. I don't hate women, I just don't like them like that. If someone isn't interested in black women then I think it is fine to have a preference, but it shouldn't be based on stereotypes that can't possibly apply to everyone from that group.

I was actually getting ready to ask why you are not attracted to/wouldn't date black males.

You say it's because you're not around a lot of black people, but is that the only reason?

I just find it interesting when some says their not attracted/wouldn't date someone of their own race.

Just curious.

 

[JaneAustenFan]

I was actually getting ready to ask why you are not attracted to/wouldn't date black males.

You say it's because you're not around a lot of black people, but is that the only reason?

I just find it interesting when some says their not attracted/wouldn't date someone of their own race.

Just curious.

I am not sure why I haven't been attracted to black males, but I don't know if that would change if I ended up living or going to school around more black people. I know it doesn't have to do with me thinking that there aren't any black men that are good looking, kind and respectful. Yes, I have encountered negative images of black men on television and other circumstances, but I also have brothers (who would be considered black males) so I know that things are more complex than just everyone of one group being a certain way. I wouldn't refuse to date someone black if I did like them.

 

[management]

You all do now that most of the people that own tv are white. Music too. This isn't what black people are pushing. For example socially aware rappers like Common or Mos Def hardly ever get any air time but guys like 50 cent and Young Jeezy get all the play. We don't own all the media, the media owns us so to speak.

And we wonder why black radio is so trash now. They give us trash to see/hear, and we begin to believe what they tell us. No wonder there are so many relationship issues within the black community.

Social engineering at its best........

 

[Sailor Senshi Dermystify]

You keep repeating that you are not interested in black guys. What is the point of really continuing with this debate. This is not problem that you have. I can tell you if you had a lot more AA women as friends you would see that this a big concern to them (finding an AA). This is why the debate so heated. Other URMs really don't have this problem to the extent that AA women have it. It is what it is. AA women have the hardest time getting marrried this is a documented phenomenon. Succesful AA men not so much. You seem out of touch with AA community and moreso in touch with your Native American so this converstation may seem foregin to you or make you feel uncomfortable. But, I assure any AA men or women in touch with the community know many of the arguements set forth here are true.

AA Women Arguement:
Black men that are professional are rare but highly desirable.
Black men seem to sell out when the reach a certain sphere (marrying outside the race)
Black men that achieve academic success are not really black, too soft (thug lust component)
AA Women want AA men... ever other race is usually a second choice.
Black men who reach the heights of academics are too arrogant and think they are God's gift to the world (I am sure you can sense this in some of the fellas postings in this forum).

AA Men Arguement:
Black women want thugs when younger and dont desire the fellas who are putting in work academically (thugs include, basketball players, football players etc).
Black women have a chip on their shoulder and a relationship with them doesnt bode well for academic success.
Black women are too insecure.
Black women are too harsh.
Black women do not know how to treat a man.


Now, the discussion if Black men like other races more then AA women depends on who you ask. I assure you though there will be very few black men that will say that are not attracted to AA women. They just are not going to settle when they have a plethora of options (other races).



on my phone sorry for typos

Everything that is in bold are completely true. I graduated from Spelman College , my beloved institutions and there were still dudes who had that thuggish persona at Morehouse. Some were gay and the others who were good looking and smart were cheaters or a lame. I was too busy grinding and winning scholarships because Spelman was really expensive, I didn't have enough time to invest in a relationship. Even though, I talked or dated a couple of ppl they always send that I am very intimidating and they are not on my Level. They claim that I am doing too much and feel like they are not on the same page as me. Currently, I in living in South Korea on a Fulbright fellowship, so dating is def. out until I start medical school. The only problem I have is the lack of blk males in medical school. I always feel that the smartest blk dudes are not the best looking ones. I def. have to sacrifice something and I can't always have it my way since this is not Burger King .

Lastly, being a New Yorker from Brooklyn I def. had thug lust in HS but I grew out of that phase after I graduated. The Pradas, Jordans, Ekco, Pepe, Roca-Wear, Lacoste were really popular and if a dude wore that then all the ladies were all over him . Sad but true.

 

[kg062008]

Everything that is in bold are completely true. I graduated from Spelman College , my beloved institutions and there were still dudes who had that thuggish persona at Morehouse. Some were gay and the others who were good looking and smart were cheaters or a lame. I was too busy grinding and winning scholarships because Spelman was really expensive, I didn't have enough time to invest in a relationship. Even though, I talked or dated a couple of ppl they always send that I am very intimidating and they are not on my Level. They claim that I am doing too much and feel like they are not on the same page as me. Currently, I in living in South Korea on a Fulbright fellowship, so dating is def. out until I start medical school. The only problem I have is the lack of blk males in medical school. I always feel that the smartest blk dudes are not the best looking ones. I def. have to sacrifice something and I can't always have it my way since this is not Burger King .

Lastly, being a New Yorker from Brooklyn I def. had thug lust in HS but I grew out of that phase after I graduated. The Pradas, Jordans, Ekco, Pepe, Roca-Wear, Lacoste were really popular and if a dude wore that then all the ladies were all over him . Sad but true.

LOL, any dude who is smart enough to get into Morehouse is not a thug. Not a real one anyway. I'm sorry but girls like you who says no one is one their level, or smart enough, or good looking enough for them, usually these girls are hideous or have really abrasive personalities.