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I have a pseudo fiancé...kinda wondering when its gonna be the real deal
 
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pinkpuppy9 said:
I have deleted sooooo many. It's one thing to post statuses about "Try this body wrap, look at the difference!" "Try this disgusting smoothie mix!" I can just unfollow you. A few girls from my high school class actually starting private messaging me (all from different companies, too) asking me to try a sample or buy a trial. Most of it was weight loss crap (also a little offensive...). I just deleted them without responding. If I wanted to be assaulted by sales pitches, I'd walk closer to the carts in the mall.
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That gave me a good laugh :cat:😛😀
 
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My hometown irritates me. Recently, a huge portion of a wooded area was leveled for apartments. People are seeing a surge in coyote attacks. Shocker, all of the victims are small/toy dogs that were let outside the back door for their late night potty break. I don't want to blame the owners and I feel bad for the pups, but where's the common sense? The coyotes have been near us all along. People are calling for the police to eradicate them somehow or move them. "I'm afraid to sit on my porch swing! I'll get attacked!" I just can't.

My house is on the really rural edge of my area. On any given night, I can turn on my porch lights and see a pair of eyes shining. I've taken my leashed dog out late at night plenty of times only to see a coyote, deer, or whatever run away from us. It's a fact of life where we live and I just wish people would be more careful.
 
LetItSnow said:
Free pro tip: if the animal is dying it's 5ml PER KG for that initial colloid bolus (or whatever dose you like). It is NOT 5ml for a 30kg animal.

Sigh. Even a chihuahua needs more than 5ml most of the time.
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nope you've definitely got that all wrong. it the animal is dying, it's NOT give fluids and try to stabilize, it's ship it the nearest (or furthest) specialty/emergency hospital and hope it magically gets better. [we get a lot of transfer calls from people sending things in dire shock on the way or dyspneic because of pleural effusion that they didnt tap, etc. etc. - the CC folks always try to get vets to give stabilization a try prior to sending, but ya know...]
 
LetItSnow said:
Free pro tip: if the animal is dying it's 5ml PER KG for that initial colloid bolus (or whatever dose you like). It is NOT 5ml for a 30kg animal.

Sigh. Even a chihuahua needs more than 5ml most of the time.
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Even a lowly fourth year knows that 😉
 
pinkpuppy9 said:
My hometown irritates me. Recently, a huge portion of a wooded area was leveled for apartments. People are seeing a surge in coyote attacks. Shocker, all of the victims are small/toy dogs that were let outside the back door for their late night potty break. I don't want to blame the owners and I feel bad for the pups, but where's the common sense? The coyotes have been near us all along. People are calling for the police to eradicate them somehow or move them. "I'm afraid to sit on my porch swing! I'll get attacked!" I just can't.

My house is on the really rural edge of my area. On any given night, I can turn on my porch lights and see a pair of eyes shining. I've taken my leashed dog out late at night plenty of times only to see a coyote, deer, or whatever run away from us. It's a fact of life where we live and I just wish people would be more careful.
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There's maybe a pack of 20 in the woods behind my current rent house. There honestly very timid around things bigger than they are! I was scared at first but we see them all he time walking at night
 
LetItSnow said:
Free pro tip: if the animal is dying it's 5ml PER KG for that initial colloid bolus (or whatever dose you like). It is NOT 5ml for a 30kg animal.

Sigh. Even a chihuahua needs more than 5ml most of the time.
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Lol the therapeutic colloid. Therapeutic for the veterinarian's soul to make them feel better that they maybe did something even if they didn't.
 
jmo1012 said:
nope you've definitely got that all wrong. it the animal is dying, it's NOT give fluids and try to stabilize, it's ship it the nearest (or furthest) specialty/emergency hospital and hope it magically gets better. [we get a lot of transfer calls from people sending things in dire shock on the way or dyspneic because of pleural effusion that they didnt tap, etc. etc. - the CC folks always try to get vets to give stabilization a try prior to sending, but ya know...]
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There are some things though that I have to hedge my bets and send over in dire straits though. Shocky pets, pleural effusion/pneumo, lots of hbc, yeah sure, I can handle that. But I recently had a bad tamponade case in an old dog, and I don't have an ultrasound. That cardiac silhouette was so huge that a blind stick probably would have gotten to the sac... but you know... risks. So I quickly gave the owner bad to poor prognosis, what likely the dog will need if surviving this crisis, and the options for 1.) euthanasia 2.) blind stick that may kill dog with the intent to ship dog or 3.) ship now but the dog may die on the way. Owners went with number 3. Dog arrested minutes after reaching the ER. Meh, that sucked. If I'd tapped the dog and it survived to proper transfer for echo and workup, I'd feel like a super badass. But if the dog had died, I'd feel reckless. I guess that's where the informed consent comes in. In the end, the likely short term outcome would have been euthanasia or death so it's a moot point. But it does leave a bad taste in your mouth.
 
pinkpuppy9 said:
My hometown irritates me. Recently, a huge portion of a wooded area was leveled for apartments. People are seeing a surge in coyote attacks. Shocker, all of the victims are small/toy dogs that were let outside the back door for their late night potty break. I don't want to blame the owners and I feel bad for the pups, but where's the common sense? The coyotes have been near us all along. People are calling for the police to eradicate them somehow or move them. "I'm afraid to sit on my porch swing! I'll get attacked!" I just can't.

My house is on the really rural edge of my area. On any given night, I can turn on my porch lights and see a pair of eyes shining. I've taken my leashed dog out late at night plenty of times only to see a coyote, deer, or whatever run away from us. It's a fact of life where we live and I just wish people would be more careful.
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I keep seeing these posts too! In my area we've always had them. Don't get me wrong I don't like going out at night in the first place, but mostly because I've got a thing with the dark. My house also backs up right against the woodline so anything standing behind that won't really be seen. Still though I've never seen them out during the day, and it isn't like that you can't just take your dog out on a leash. Small animals really shouldn't be left alone by themselves anyhow, eagles have been known to sweep down and pick them up. That's just during the day.
 
Had a horrible dream last night where I had to leave my dog at a shelter/rescue cause my car broke down and I had no way of getting him home/wherever I was going with me (it must have been somewhere far because I think I was gone for like 2 weeks). I came back after the 2 weeks to pick him up as we had agreed and they kept bringing me out the wrong dog. Finally I asked to go look myself and we couldn't find him and they either adopted him out or he was euthanized. Worst part was staff at this mystery shelter made it sound like this has happened before.

Not exactly the mood I wanted to wake up to this morning. Now i just want to sit and bed and cuddle him on this rainy day, but I need to do some boards studying/internship stuff.
 
jmo1012 said:
nope you've definitely got that all wrong. it the animal is dying, it's NOT give fluids and try to stabilize, it's ship it the nearest (or furthest) specialty/emergency hospital and hope it magically gets better. [we get a lot of transfer calls from people sending things in dire shock on the way or dyspneic because of pleural effusion that they didnt tap, etc. etc. - the CC folks always try to get vets to give stabilization a try prior to sending, but ya know...]
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Lol!!

I totally don't judge whether a GP tries to stabilize or if they just immediate shove a dying patient in the car and go. It is a hard call to make on the spot for someone who doesn't deal with it every day. It is a MUCH easier call to armchair quarterback. And sometimes with the limited resources at many GP clinics it's just better to withhold treatment a bit longer in order to get them to the right place.

Hehe. This case had all kinds of misfortune in addition to the wussy fluids. They had shoved an et tube in the animal for transport ...

And then when it got here (transported by two dvms) the et tube tie was in their hands ..... And the tube was nowhere to be found.

Long story short, the dog arrested twice. The second time the owners didn't want us to continue. I took postmortem rads and found the et tube .... In the stomach.

Oops.
 
LetItSnow said:
Lol!!

I totally don't judge whether a GP tries to stabilize or if they just immediate shove a dying patient in the car and go. It is a hard call to make on the spot for someone who doesn't deal with it every day. It is a MUCH easier call to armchair quarterback. And sometimes with the limited resources at many GP clinics it's just better to withhold treatment a bit longer in order to get them to the right place.

Hehe. This case had all kinds of misfortune in addition to the wussy fluids. They had shoved an et tube in the animal for transport ...

And then when it got here (transported by two dvms) the et tube tie was in their hands ..... And the tube was nowhere to be found.

Long story short, the dog arrested twice. The second time the owners didn't want us to continue. I took postmortem rads and found the et tube .... In the stomach.

Oops.
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:uhno:
Talk about a series of unfortunate events
 
Minnerbelle said:
How did that clinic have enough coverage to manage sending 2 DVMs out the door with the dog?

So many questions with this one.
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I was thinking this too.

I don't know what happened or how quick things moved with transporting the dog, but no one took 10 seconds to verify tube placement? Not that it probably would have mattered from the sounds of things, but yeah.. I dunno. Anyway, as we have said before, easy to judge from the "back seat" and I try not to do that.
 
Minnerbelle said:
How did that clinic have enough coverage to manage sending 2 DVMs out the door with the dog?

So many questions with this one.
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Beats me. It's not like I had time to sit down and have coffee and ask. 🙂

It was end of day. Entirely possible they were both done with cases for the day and were going to go back to do records or something. I dunno. When they first called to alert us, they said they were sending the animal in an hour. Then all at once it's two dvms are in the car and on their way now, 5 min later. If I had to guess I'd say that as they evaluated they realized the animal was in worse shape than they thought so they bailed on treatment on their end and hopped in the car. Not an unreasonable choice.

I left a fair bit of (my end of) the story out just for brevity. I don't really know their end of the story.
 
When you need to use the library to do stuff for the rotation you are on and the entire place is full. You can't find a place to plug things in that you need to plug in while still being able to do the work that you need to do. And someone has taken up space to sit on their damn ass and sleep while using an outlet to charge their phone... seriously... there are other places in this building where you can sit and sleep and charge your phone. Alternatively, you can go the hell home to do that. You don't need to be taking up space in the library where people might actually want to work and need the space.
 
LetItSnow said:
Beats me. It's not like I had time to sit down and have coffee and ask. 🙂

It was end of day. Entirely possible they were both done with cases for the day and were going to go back to do records or something. I dunno. When they first called to alert us, they said they were sending the animal in an hour. Then all at once it's two dvms are in the car and on their way now, 5 min later. If I had to guess I'd say that as they evaluated they realized the animal was in worse shape than they thought so they bailed on treatment on their end and hopped in the car. Not an unreasonable choice.

I left a fair bit of (my end of) the story out just for brevity. I don't really know their end of the story.
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Aw that's actually really really sweet of them if that's what happened.
 
5 yo dog with paraparesis we take to MRI, expecting to find a disk and go to sx...nope multifocal lesions consistent with cancer. Wtf, world? Such a sweet dog and sweet owner 🙁
 
Minnerbelle said:
There are some things though that I have to hedge my bets and send over in dire straits though. Shocky pets, pleural effusion/pneumo, lots of hbc, yeah sure, I can handle that. But I recently had a bad tamponade case in an old dog, and I don't have an ultrasound. That cardiac silhouette was so huge that a blind stick probably would have gotten to the sac... but you know... risks. So I quickly gave the owner bad to poor prognosis, what likely the dog will need if surviving this crisis, and the options for 1.) euthanasia 2.) blind stick that may kill dog with the intent to ship dog or 3.) ship now but the dog may die on the way. Owners went with number 3. Dog arrested minutes after reaching the ER. Meh, that sucked. If I'd tapped the dog and it survived to proper transfer for echo and workup, I'd feel like a super badass. But if the dog had died, I'd feel reckless. I guess that's where the informed consent comes in. In the end, the likely short term outcome would have been euthanasia or death so it's a moot point. But it does leave a bad taste in your mouth.
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ah see but you are already doing the best thing by your patient by giving the owner their options and letting them make the decision. i'm not saying its never right to just refer (i totally understand that you guys have busy full days and dont have all the fancier things necessarily!), but frequently i (and our CC department) speak to vets who could have done something, if even thats just prep the owners for what to expect (financially). the medical decisions lie in the hands of the owners, they just have to have the options so they can make informed decisions 🙂 [plus i get really happy when i get to stabilize critical things! thus pursuing an ECC residency 😉]
 
jmo1012 said:
ah see but you are already doing the best thing by your patient by giving the owner their options and letting them make the decision. i'm not saying its never right to just refer (i totally understand that you guys have busy full days and dont have all the fancier things necessarily!), but frequently i (and our CC department) speak to vets who could have done something, if even thats just prep the owners for what to expect (financially). the medical decisions lie in the hands of the owners, they just have to have the options so they can make informed decisions 🙂 [plus i get really happy when i get to stabilize critical things! thus pursuing an ECC residency 😉]
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I absolutely hated when I was in emergency and the rDVM never mentioned money to the patient that got rushed over... and we end up euthanizing. So I always always make sure they know they're in for thousands prior to shipping. No matter what people are in for, no matter what care I'm not equipped to handle, I'm always equipped with pentobarb. I make sure that's not what the owners want prior to shipping. I hated thinking... "So why did you come here?"
 
Minnerbelle said:
Woah there... You need to take a chill pill. All I was saying to LIS was that he needs to stop poking at you because you BLOW UP like this.

And yes, prevets will be prevets. We've all been there. Saying misguided and or offensive things without realizing it (not the fault of the inexperienced, you just don't know until you've lived it and have been affected by it). It's like with most things, there comes a point where a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Your opinions are not being invalidated because you're prevet, it's because of the content... regardless of whether or not it stems from inexperience.

I too as a young padawan was scolded back in the day many a times (and hell, even now), for my ignorance/misguided attitude. It might have stung a little at the time but they were always true. People got themselves involved only because my ideas were not only wrong, but not good for someone who was becoming a vet. But you know what, I thought about them each time and learned from them. Even if I didn't quite get why my point of view from my limited set of experiences at the time didn't match up at all to what people were saying, I stewed on them and just at least learned not say those things. But that made me very aware of those issues, and over the years I would realize why it was that I was wrong. Literally, every time something was a big enough deal that multiple vet students (we didn't have any vets then) corrected me, I realized later that they were absolutely right... AND I realized the only reason why they got involved was because a vet CANNOT think the way I thought.

This is the case here. As a member of the profession, unless proven otherwise, professional courtesy dictates that you MUST give other veterinarians benefit of doubt. You MUST not give into the previous vet bashing that the client goes on. Cause you know what, you'll learn quickly that a majority of the time a client that clinic hops and complains about the previous vet is not a client you want. They're all happy with you until they're not, and you are their next previous vet. It the client didn't initiate it, you sure as hell should not as a vet, and especially as support staff. That is why people criticized you, NOT because you were a prevet with an opinion. Don't you worry it's not just you, and it's not just because this is an Internet forum that people got involved. My staff is pretty good about it, but if they say anything remotely close to what you said, they would be spoken to about it. No one would have criticized you at all if you had said "huh I wonder what transpired at her last visit to end up with this outcome?" Rather than, "I trust the client that her last vet mismanaged this case (even though I have no evidence)"

It's not just prevets. Vet students in teaching hospitals are notorious for rDVM bashing and it is WRONG. It is very easy to play Monday-morning quarterback. Even if the care was suboptimal, you are also not privy to the conversation between client and rDVM that led to that. When things aren't going well, it's human nature for people to want to place a blame on someone, and clients naturally blame the rDVM. When vet students who are overwhelmed and overworked over seeing 3-4 cases a day, where each case comes with months to years long history of information/data that they can look back on, they have no idea how it is to be on the frontlines seeing 20+ cases a day and starting with a blank slate with only the words of the client and your physical exam and limited funds to work with.



Please follow through with this. It will do you a lot of good. If you've noticed the trend, things only escalate when you keep ramping it up with each response. Just as you don't appreciate "harsh critique" that keeps snowballing, no one appreciates someone who increasingly disrespectfully argues about a heartfelt advice that they give, and that's where the snark comes in. Just leave it be if you're going to just get angry after each passing reply.

Please note this is the last response I will EVER make to any of your posts. You don't have to worry about this mean vet invalidating your opinions anymore.
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Premed (not vet) here...... I totally just pulled out the popcorn and watched this verbal tennis match lol

The prevet getting mad at everyone for invalidating his opinion....... Lol grow up, see reality. You are not a special snowflake that gets a trophy even though they lose a game. You're entering a field where experience means something. So shut up and listen to those who have been where you are. Mull it over, disagree with them if you want, but for gods sake stop with the rant on how important your opinion is and how everyone e has to get it shoved down their throats. Professional filial piety. It's a thing. Also known as respect.
 
Chasing Never Land said:
Premed (not vet) here...... I totally just pulled out the popcorn and watched this verbal tennis match lol

The prevet getting mad at everyone for invalidating [her] opinion....... Lol grow up, see reality. You are not a special snowflake that gets a trophy even though they lose a game. You're entering a field where experience means something. So shut up and listen to those who have been where you are. Mull it over, disagree with them if you want, but for gods sake stop with the rant on how important your opinion is and how everyone e has to get it shoved down their throats. Professional filial piety. It's a thing. Also known as respect.
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Dude that happened literally a month ago, was settled amicably, and you come over here from premed just to drag it up again... 😏
 
Chasing Never Land said:
Premed (not vet) here...... I totally just pulled out the popcorn and watched this verbal tennis match lol

The prevet getting mad at everyone for invalidating his opinion....... Lol grow up, see reality. You are not a special snowflake that gets a trophy even though they lose a game. You're entering a field where experience means something. So shut up and listen to those who have been where you are. Mull it over, disagree with them if you want, but for gods sake stop with the rant on how important your opinion is and how everyone e has to get it shoved down their throats. Professional filial piety. It's a thing. Also known as respect.
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Stop stirring the pot, dude. This is old news. We've moved on.
 
Chasing Never Land said:
Premed (not vet) here...... I totally just pulled out the popcorn and watched this verbal tennis match lol

The prevet getting mad at everyone for invalidating his opinion....... Lol grow up, see reality. You are not a special snowflake that gets a trophy even though they lose a game. You're entering a field where experience means something. So shut up and listen to those who have been where you are. Mull it over, disagree with them if you want, but for gods sake stop with the rant on how important your opinion is and how everyone e has to get it shoved down their throats. Professional filial piety. It's a thing. Also known as respect.
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Side note, in prevet its generally more accurate to assume "her" rather than "his." 😉
 
Chasing Never Land said:
Premed (not vet) here...... I totally just pulled out the popcorn and watched this verbal tennis match lol

The prevet getting mad at everyone for invalidating his opinion....... Lol grow up, see reality. You are not a special snowflake that gets a trophy even though they lose a game. You're entering a field where experience means something. So shut up and listen to those who have been where you are. Mull it over, disagree with them if you want, but for gods sake stop with the rant on how important your opinion is and how everyone e has to get it shoved down their throats. Professional filial piety. It's a thing. Also known as respect.
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Lol. Get a life!
 
Some of my undergrad friends have been so terrible and fake to me. They would throw me under the bus in seconds to get something that they want. To get yet another leadership to run into the ground. To get a higher grade than me. I can't think of a single person to trust. I keep thinking ahead to vet school and meeting new people, but I'm also afraid it'll only get worse. I'm going to be a recluse for the rest of my life.
 
Minnerbelle said:
I absolutely hated when I was in emergency and the rDVM never mentioned money to the patient that got rushed over... and we end up euthanizing. So I always always make sure they know they're in for thousands prior to shipping. No matter what people are in for, no matter what care I'm not equipped to handle, I'm always equipped with pentobarb. I make sure that's not what the owners want prior to shipping. I hated thinking... "So why did you come here?"
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Yeah. On the one hand, I 'get it' .... it's an emergency, they're thinking "omg what do I do?", time is moving fast, etc. On the other, it really sucks when the owner shows up and, for a truly super critical patient, I tell them "It's going to cost maybe $1600 in the next two hours, $2000-$2500 overnight, and $XXXX to fully treat Fluffy and get her out of the hospital, and her overall prognosis is [whatever]" ..... and they look at me like "What the hell? Are you crazy?" and then tell me "I guess we'll euthanize." Could have saved them a lot of heartache and stress just by talking over super ballpark rough numbers before transferring.

I had one person tell me she thought our cost was 'included' in the cost she paid her vet.
 
rockatiel said:
Some of my undergrad friends have been so terrible and fake to me. They would throw me under the bus in seconds to get something that they want. To get yet another leadership to run into the ground. To get a higher grade than me. I can't think of a single person to trust. I keep thinking ahead to vet school and meeting new people, but I'm also afraid it'll only get worse. I'm going to be a recluse for the rest of my life.
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I'm so sorry 🙁 not everyone is like that and I hate that you're having to deal with this! The gunner type of people really bother me because you can't be that cut throat and expect to maintain relationships throughout life. Hopefully they grow out of it. I'm sorry again!!
 
LetItSnow said:
I had one person tell me she thought our cost was 'included' in the cost she paid her vet.
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I've heard that before.

A couple clinics here have contracted with local ERs, but the deal is: Your pet has surgery and ought to be watched over night. Nobody works overnight at the clinic. You can take your pet to the ER for overnight med board/critical care for $100 overnight instead of cost of exam, board, fluids... but the referring clinic has to give them a heads up and send all charting, fluids, drugs, etc with the patient.

People seem to hear just part of that statement and assume that EVERYTHING their pet ever goes through is covered under that contract, not 1 night post surgical board.
 
LetItSnow said:
$100 for overnight monitoring at an ER facility? Good grief. That's a <steal>.
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Yeah, the most common surgeries are post ortho and post pyometra and the bulk of the latter came from the low cost spay/neuter clinic (at least the bulk of who I know about).
 
I used to work at the spay/Neuter clinic and another clinic in town, so I know it was the standard deal. I now work at a Specialty and ECC a town over. They still cut a deal for post op CC, but it isn't that good and few people use it.
 
Why do professors feel the need to cram all this last minute busy work right around the corner of finals. CAN YOU JUST LAY OFF I NEED TO PREP FOR FINALS.
 
Found my freezer ajar again this morning. Last time I knew it had been open for 14 hours, this time it was potentially up to 24 hours, although my guess is that it popped open last night while i was in the fridge rather than yesterday morning when i was in the freezer. So frustrating!!

Does anyone know of a temperature alarm that connects to phones or wifi or something? Or alternatively, does anyone with young kids know if the child safety locks made for the fridge would definitely keep it closed if properly latched?
 
Jilary said:
Sometimes I really want to scream "IF YOU DON'T STOP CHEWING WITH YOUR F@*#ING MOUTH OPEN, I WILL RIP OFF YOUR LIPS AND TEAR YOUR TONGUE OUT!!" Somehow I don't think that would go over well. Darn misophonia.
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I always felt bad cause I would sometimes eat apples in class cause I frequently started going to the gym during lunch so I could go home right away. I always tried to eat them quietly but felt like I never achieved that goal.
 
orca2011 said:
I always felt bad cause I would sometimes eat apples in class cause I frequently started going to the gym during lunch so I could go home right away. I always tried to eat them quietly but felt like I never achieved that goal.
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I could handle that, as long as you chewed with your mouth closed. It's the open mouth smacking noises that really put me over the edge. I also really hate chewing gum for the same reason.
 
Yesterday I applied for a USDA job. Today I had to reapply for the same job because whoever was charged with posting it put down the wrong Columbus suburb for the location. Not amused.

The only upside is that this posting is limited to the first 30 applicants so I probably will fall into that group and at least be considered, however briefly, for the job.
 
Major romance fail.

So my bf got off the phone with an immigration lawyer who asked him if there was anyway he could get married, since it would cost $3000 instead of $6000 for him to apply for a marriage based greencard vs. an employment based green card, and it would likely only take a few months to half a year longer to process.

He finds me lying in bed on my day off just facebooking, and explains all this and goes, "so what do you think?"

I answer, "um... So this is your idea of a proposal? How unromantic,"

And I explain that I don't really care if we go to town hall tomorrow to get married on paper since we're essentially a married couple. We will in the next 3-5 years. We just haven't yet because it didn't financially make sense and we can't afford a wedding or a house for a few years anyway. And like we both don't like the idea of an engagement ring (he's going to buy me a big indoor bird aviary room in our future house instead for my parrots), but like really, even I have standards. This is not an acceptable proposal. He goes, well maybe I should get on my knees now. I almost smacked the guy. Then he goes, okay, maybe I should take you out to somewhere nice tonight. Ugh!!!!

Then he starts talking about squaring away an agreement about protecting his real estate inheritance once his parents die because that is essentially his retirement plan, in case we get divorced down the line (particularly because his parents divorced when he was 2).

So I was like, seriously? Seriously!?!?!? I was mad about how unromantic this proposal was, and now you're proceeding to talk about a pre-nup!?!? Like really, I don't care at all. I'll sign whatever prenup he wants, as we both have significant assets that come worst case scenario it would make sense to protect. And I truly believe that we should always prepare for worst case scenario under the premise that we won't need it ever. But like, wow. Really!?!?

Sigh... Ugh... What happened to my Italian Romeo?

In the end decided that we will likely go for the employment based because if we are so risk averse that we need a prenup, then he should be very concerned about relying on me for his greencard since he will get deported if we breakup within a certain period of time.

I'm having my accountant sister crunch numbers for tax benefits being married. But because of our tax brackets now, it may actually cost us to be married such that the $3000 we would save now would be a moot point. Plus, I'm sure lawyer fees to get a prenup going will just erode whatever savings we're making by going the marriage route.

But seriously!!!! I told him I won't say yes without a slightly better proposal because that was just sad. Ugh!
 
Minnerbelle said:
Major romance fail.

So my bf got off the phone with an immigration lawyer who asked him if there was anyway he could get married, since it would cost $3000 instead of $6000 for him to apply for a marriage based greencard vs. an employment based green card, and it would likely only take a few months to half a year longer to process.

He finds me lying in bed on my day off just facebooking, and explains all this and goes, "so what do you think?"

I answer, "um... So this is your idea of a proposal? How unromantic,"

And I explain that I don't really care if we go to town hall tomorrow to get married on paper since we're essentially a married couple. We will in the next 3-5 years. We just haven't yet because it didn't financially make sense and we can't afford a wedding or a house for a few years anyway. And like we both don't like the idea of an engagement ring (he's going to buy me a big indoor bird aviary room in our future house instead for my parrots), but like really, even I have standards. This is not an acceptable proposal. He goes, well maybe I should get on my knees now. I almost smacked the guy. Then he goes, okay, maybe I should take you out to somewhere nice tonight. Ugh!!!!

Then he starts talking about squaring away an agreement about protecting his real estate inheritance once his parents die because that is essentially his retirement plan, in case we get divorced down the line (particularly because his parents divorced when he was 2).

So I was like, seriously? Seriously!?!?!? I was mad about how unromantic this proposal was, and now you're proceeding to talk about a pre-nup!?!? Like really, I don't care at all. I'll sign whatever prenup he wants, as we both have significant assets that come worst case scenario it would make sense to protect. And I truly believe that we should always prepare for worst case scenario under the premise that we won't need it ever. But like, wow. Really!?!?

Sigh... Ugh... What happened to my Italian Romeo?

In the end decided that we will likely go for the employment based because if we are so risk averse that we need a prenup, then he should be very concerned about relying on me for his greencard since he will get deported if we breakup within a certain period of time.

I'm having my accountant sister crunch numbers for tax benefits being married. But because of our tax brackets now, it may actually cost us to be married such that the $3000 we would save now would be a moot point. Plus, I'm sure lawyer fees to get a prenup going will just erode whatever savings we're making by going the marriage route.

But seriously!!!! I told him I won't say yes without a slightly better proposal because that was just sad. Ugh!
Click to expand...
Not slightly better, MUCH better! I feel for you, but my hubby apparently used every once of romance in his proposal and I've gotten nothing since. Get it while you can, otherwise all you'll have is Jermaine singing "It's business time!"
 
LadyOtheFarm said:
Not slightly better, MUCH better! I feel for you, but my hubby apparently used every once of romance in his proposal and I've gotten nothing since. Get it while you can, otherwise all you'll have is Jermaine singing "It's business time!"
Click to expand...
Haha I can't complain too much because day to day, he does treat me like a princess. Neither of us care too much about these things, and our wedding will be more for our respective families than for ourselves.

But c'mon, right?
 
Minnerbelle said:
Major romance fail.

So my bf got off the phone with an immigration lawyer who asked him if there was anyway he could get married, since it would cost $3000 instead of $6000 for him to apply for a marriage based greencard vs. an employment based green card, and it would likely only take a few months to half a year longer to process.

He finds me lying in bed on my day off just facebooking, and explains all this and goes, "so what do you think?"

I answer, "um... So this is your idea of a proposal? How unromantic,"

And I explain that I don't really care if we go to town hall tomorrow to get married on paper since we're essentially a married couple. We will in the next 3-5 years. We just haven't yet because it didn't financially make sense and we can't afford a wedding or a house for a few years anyway. And like we both don't like the idea of an engagement ring (he's going to buy me a big indoor bird aviary room in our future house instead for my parrots), but like really, even I have standards. This is not an acceptable proposal. He goes, well maybe I should get on my knees now. I almost smacked the guy. Then he goes, okay, maybe I should take you out to somewhere nice tonight. Ugh!!!!

Then he starts talking about squaring away an agreement about protecting his real estate inheritance once his parents die because that is essentially his retirement plan, in case we get divorced down the line (particularly because his parents divorced when he was 2).

So I was like, seriously? Seriously!?!?!? I was mad about how unromantic this proposal was, and now you're proceeding to talk about a pre-nup!?!? Like really, I don't care at all. I'll sign whatever prenup he wants, as we both have significant assets that come worst case scenario it would make sense to protect. And I truly believe that we should always prepare for worst case scenario under the premise that we won't need it ever. But like, wow. Really!?!?

Sigh... Ugh... What happened to my Italian Romeo?

In the end decided that we will likely go for the employment based because if we are so risk averse that we need a prenup, then he should be very concerned about relying on me for his greencard since he will get deported if we breakup within a certain period of time.

I'm having my accountant sister crunch numbers for tax benefits being married. But because of our tax brackets now, it may actually cost us to be married such that the $3000 we would save now would be a moot point. Plus, I'm sure lawyer fees to get a prenup going will just erode whatever savings we're making by going the marriage route.

But seriously!!!! I told him I won't say yes without a slightly better proposal because that was just sad. Ugh!
Click to expand...

Omg!! 😱 At least now he knows he's going to have to do MUCH better in the future!

If it makes you feel better, my SO tried to get frisky last night after making me watch the original American Pie with him... I'm like, I'm really not in the mood after watching a bunch of adolescent boys trying to figure out their sexual identity. You're going to have to be more romantic than that. Lol
 
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I just love it when at the last minute the professor for the new section decides to assign a study guide that is 63 problems long due at 1pm the Friday after Thanksgiving. It's not like I'll be doing anything, like driving to two separate neighboring states for two family holidays. It's fine, it's not like I wanted to celebrate with my family or anything. And of course this was never in the syllabus and no one saw it coming. Bad enough the test for that class is 8am the Monday after the Thanksgiving weekend, now this nonsense.
:boom:
 
Feeling sad... I was at the wildlife center feeding owls just now. I was just about to leave and had already locked up, and on my way out I saw a car at the drop off building. I went in and there was a hysterical woman with a pigeon. She was bawling hysterically and kept saying "please don't let it die, please don't let it die" over and over . Well, after calming her down and looking at the pigeon, I decided that it was most likely poisoned and it was very close to death. The poor thing was extremely neurologic and convulsing, but also trying to fly only to get stuck flapping his wings while laying on his back 🙁 it was so sad. I wanted to euthanize but this lady was so hysteric that I promised I would try everything I could.. so I took it inside and gave him some activated charcoal and held him for 10 minutes because if I let him go he would freak out. Then he just died all of a sudden. I was actually kind of relieved because I felt so bad for him.. But still sad at the same time because I was hoping he would survive (although it wasn't very realistic of me to think he would pull through considering how bad off he was). I really wish I would have euthanized so he wasn't suffering for longer than needed, but I guess I'm glad that I at least tried. Still.. bummed now 🙁
 
hazelmoo said:
Feeling sad... I was at the wildlife center feeding owls just now. I was just about to leave and had already locked up, and on my way out I saw a car at the drop off building. I went in and there was a hysterical woman with a pigeon. She was bawling hysterically and kept saying "please don't let it die, please don't let it die" over and over . Well, after calming her down and looking at the pigeon, I decided that it was most likely poisoned and it was very close to death. The poor thing was extremely neurologic and convulsing, but also trying to fly only to get stuck flapping his wings while laying on his back 🙁 it was so sad. I wanted to euthanize but this lady was so hysteric that I promised I would try everything I could.. so I took it inside and gave him some activated charcoal and held him for 10 minutes because if I let him go he would freak out. Then he just died all of a sudden. I was actually kind of relieved because I felt so bad for him.. But still sad at the same time because I was hoping he would survive (although it wasn't very realistic of me to think he would pull through considering how bad off he was). I really wish I would have euthanized so he wasn't suffering for longer than needed, but I guess I'm glad that I at least tried. Still.. bummed now 🙁
Click to expand...

🙁 That's hard. So sorry.
 
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