Stewart University Med Student

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Squad51 said:
Never fear. They are just reorganizing - apparently it is safer in Washington DC. Unfortunately, the California campus is now just "anticipated":

http://www.stewartuniversity.org/

Check out the phone number. It is the same one listed for Stewart Med. They haven't even updated the answering machine yet.
Click to expand...

Yet they still have a northern california area code...
Members don't see this ad.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
Chancellor Stewart does not have an upper lip. Under his mustache is the site where the clinical rotations are being held.
 
Chancellor Stewart visited the Virgin Islands recently . . . they are now called the Islands.

When Chancellor Stewart goes out drinking for the night he doesn't throw up, he throws down.
 
What is they're excuse now for not having a working website? Maybe they got shut down.
 
TRAMD said:
Chancellor Stewart visited the Virgin Islands recently . . . they are now called the Islands.
Click to expand...

That's ****ing hilarious. Did you come up with that yourself or hack it?

If you came up with it yourself, you are in the wrong profession my friend.
 
nlax30 said:
Ummm...... hope you aren't planning any trips to Vegas soon..... At least don't go sit at the poker table.
Click to expand...

Yikes.

I stand corrected.

I think I'll take your advice.

I shall let my original post stand as a tribute to the general stupidity of Stewie U.
 
Chancellor Stewart is suing NBC because "Law and Order" is a trademarked term for his two fists.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
NewmansOwn said:
Chancellor Stewart is suing NBC because "Law and Order" is a trademarked term for his two fists.
Click to expand...


Chancellor Stewart never had to file an AMCAS application, all he had to do was send the medical schools a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chancellor Steward was accepted by every medical school in the US.
 
A handicap parking sign isn't used to indicate that only the handicap can park there. It's actually a warning sign that the parking spot belongs to Chancellor Stewart and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
 
Chancellor Stewart once scared a cadaver back to life
 
Chancellor Stewart's greatest trick was not creating a medical school that never truly existed, but in fact was making a medical school no one thought really existed disappear. How do you make something that never existed disappear? Ask the people of Atlantis what happened when Chancellor Stewart decided to visit.
 
Chancellor Stewart can see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch, he can also eat just one Lay's potato chip.
 
Old Grunt said:
That's ****ing hilarious. Did you come up with that yourself or hack it?

If you came up with it yourself, you are in the wrong profession my friend.
Click to expand...

I have it on a Chuck Norris shirt.
 
Margaux1985 said:
A handicap parking sign isn't used to indicate that only the handicap can park there. It's actually a warning sign that the parking spot belongs to Chancellor Stewart and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Click to expand...

Good one.

Your avatar . . . Catalina Cruz? I love her.
 
Chancellor Stewart doesn't schedule a follow-up appointment for a patient in the middle of next week, he knocks their *** into the middle of next week to assure that they are on time.

Chancellor Stewart believes there are only two reasons a patient should not receive a rectal exam: they have no rectum or you have no finger.

Chancellor Stewart created the first c-section when he performed a perfect roundhouse kick through his mother's abdomen.*

Chancellor Stewart can perform a transvaginal c-section.

Chancellor Stewart has mutated over the years and is now multi-drug resistant.+

Chancellor Stewart is personally responsible for half of all female heart surgeries because of all the hearts he breaks and half of all male heart surgeries from all the hearts he rips out with a single bare hand.

Chancellor Stewart was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.

Chancellor Stewart only shoots headshots. (see above)

Chancellor Stewart is not fat, he has overdeveloped abs.

No matter how many drinks he has had, Chancellor Stewart is always below the legal limit.

Chancellor Stewart never sweats, he glistens.

Chancellor Stewart can excel at any sport but chooses not to participate to allow others a chance to feel like "winners".

Chancellor Stewart can quit eating Twinkies at any time but doesn't want to.

Chancellor Stewart is sleeping with your sister.

Chancellor Stewart cares nothing for MCATs, they are not needed for medical licensure.

*I did not come up with this one

+This is my favorite
 
TRAMD said:
Chancellor Stewart doesn't schedule a follow-up appointment for a patient in the middle of next week, he knocks their *** into the middle of next week to assure that they are on time.

Chancellor Stewart believes there are only two reasons a patient should not receive a rectal exam: they have no rectum or you have no finger.

Chancellor Stewart created the first c-section when he performed a perfect roundhouse kick through his mother's abdomen.*

Chancellor Stewart can perform a transvaginal c-section.

Chancellor Stewart has mutated over the years and is now multi-drug resistant.+

Chancellor Stewart is personally responsible for half of all female heart surgeries because of all the hearts he breaks and half of all male heart surgeries from all the hearts he rips out with a single bare hand.

Chancellor Stewart was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.

Chancellor Stewart only shoots headshots. (see above)

Chancellor Stewart is not fat, he has overdeveloped abs.

No matter how many drinks he has had, Chancellor Stewart is always below the legal limit.

Chancellor Stewart never sweats, he glistens.

Chancellor Stewart can excel at any sport but chooses not to participate to allow others a chance to feel like "winners".

Chancellor Stewart can quit eating Twinkies at any time but doesn't want to.

Chancellor Stewart is sleeping with your sister.

Chancellor Stewart cares nothing for MCATs, they are not needed for medical licensure.

*I did not come up with this one

+This is my favorite
Click to expand...


OK, it looks like you're having a slow weekend :D Leave some for the rest of us to fill in. BTW How can you have time to make to make all of these up? Aren't you supposed to be working 80 hrs/week?
 
Margaux1985 said:
OK, it looks like you're having a slow weekend :D Leave some for the rest of us to fill in. BTW How can you have time to make to make all of these up? Aren't you supposed to be working 80 hrs/week?
Click to expand...

Took me 20 minutes and I am on a slack rotation. Even 80 hours per week leaves 86 each week.
 
Greenhouse gases are not responsible for global warming. It is actually Chancellor Stewart's temper rising after seeing our comments on SDN.
 
Chancellor Stewart did that to Michael Jackson's face
 
Chancellor Stewart created the world in six days. On the seventh day he created Stewart University. Chancellor Stewart does not need rest.
 
You may not agree with everything Chancellor Stewart says, but at the very least, you'll understand that your differing opinion is wrong
 
Chancellor Stewart is not afraid of death; death is afraid of Chancellor Stewart.
 
Chancellor Stewart specializes in gastroenterology; whenever someone feels constipated, their doctor refers them to Chancellor Stewart to get the **** scared out of them.
 
Chancellor Stewart does not use a condom: there is no such thing as protection from Chancellor Stewart.
 
He doesn't sleep. He waits
He can slam a revolving door.
He counted to infinity twice.
His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man's body.
When he sends a letter without a stamp, it gets delivered.
His charisma can be seen from space.
His food stays warm out of respect for him
When he dials the wrong number, the person on the other end is excited to talk to him


He is Chancellor Stewart
 
Those aren't personal bios on the Stewart Med Website. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the "accreditation" process.

They were going to release a Chancellow Stewart edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chancellor Stewart. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

Chancellor Stewart drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
 
nlax30 said:
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
Click to expand...

You forgot to change it to the Chancellor!
 
why would they advertise a website that's not even up?
 
umz said:
why would they advertise a website that's not even up?
Click to expand...


I bet you'll find these to be posted by a bunch of pre-meds who saw this post on SDN and decided to "promote" Stewart without the approval of the chancellor. ;)This is one med school that seems to have developed something of a cult following and will continue to live on long after we complete our residency. Be on the look-out for unofficial Stewart Med School T-shirts and merchandise coming to school near you!
 
Margaux1985 said:
Chancellor Stewart does not use a condom: there is no such thing as protection from Chancellor Stewart.
Click to expand...

This and the Michael Jackson one are HIGH-larious.
 
Cataract said:
He doesn't sleep. He waits
He can slam a revolving door.
He counted to infinity twice.
His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man's body.
When he sends a letter without a stamp, it gets delivered.
His charisma can be seen from space.
His food stays warm out of respect for him
When he dials the wrong number, the person on the other end is excited to talk to him


He is Chancellor Stewart
Click to expand...

Bolded is my favorite. Maybe the phone one could be something like: When he dials the wrong number the person on the other end knows to whom he wants to speak and transfers him immediately. or He doesn't need to make phone calls because when he wants to speak to someone they call him.
 
Chancellor Stewart can define the square root of negative one through interpretive dance.
 
im freaking out b/c i cant find any more of the stewart vids on youtube! wtf.
 
bump. Just can't let this one die.
 
Chancellor Stewart can sneeze with his eyes open.
 
Chancellor Stewart can delete the Recycling Bin
 
Chancellor Stewart can look directly at the sun.
 
The Sherman tank was originaly called the Stewart tank until Chancellor Stewart decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. The Army, for fear of Chancellor Stewart, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Chancellor Stewart.
 
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