1Path said:
I'm so easily identifiable on the internet too but as I'm typing this, hubby is laughing and standing right here!! And agrees that smilemaker has some issues to work out on HER own.
I should add that meeting/marrying Mr/Mrs. Right by NO means indicates that the relationship is perfect. ALL relationships have problems but I think the key is finding someone who is willing to WORK through them with you.
If you need to work on your relationship, you have a problem. It isn't natural to "work" on a relationship. When I think of my closest friends, when we have disagreements (which is rare) , we discuss things and move on. If there is a need to "work" on any relationship, something is definitely wrong with one member of the couple or both.
If you've met the so called "Mr/Mrs Right", there should be no "work" involved in a relationship. If the person is right for you, there is no "effort". I know so because I see my parents and they enjoy each other's company most of the time. They don't have to make an "effort" to spend time with each other or talk about the nature of their relationship.
Most relationships start off with passion/pheremonal attraction (just like any other animals) and that initially brings couples together. As we all know , that "spark" goes away after a few years. But if you're right for one another, after a few years, a deeper love sets in...I believe that REAL love only really begins once the initial "hormonal imbalance" wears off.
Like my mom says, "when you're young, you are just focused on sex but as you get older what means more than anything else is the companionship, the friendship and the trust."
Having my parents as role models gives me an idea of what I want from a relationship. Like my mom says," those who have patience will eventually be rewarded while those who rush into relationships (and other things) usually pay the consequences."
Also, you have to enjoy your own company, love your own self and be as perfect as you can be so that when you meet Mr Right/Mrs Right, there are less "issues". When you are comfortable in your own skin, others will be comfortable around you too.
Most people in society are insecure being by themselves and are delusioned into thinking that by being a part of a couple will help them feel better about themselves. Often, issues will surface when one member of the couple realizes how unhappy the other person is with themselves and that will make them unhappy to a certain degree as well.
As for me having "issues", who are you to criticize? I dare anyone on this forum to reply to me and honestly say they don't have "issues" or idiosyncrasies. If you do, you are a complete liar. At least I am honest enough to say I am not perfect but strive to be better in every way every day in many aspects of my life. "Life is about evolution" (mom's saying).
Those who criticize, often critize elements in another person which mirrors themselves and which they can't stand about themselves. I even joke about my imperfections . I think I am far more tolerant than most people and more open to embracing differences. If I am not, it's because the individual in question may have pushed the limits of my tolerance and abused my natural generous spirit , stabbed me multiple times in the back and given me a valid reason to cut them out of my life completely.
"If you can laugh at yourself, you are wise. If you can't laugh at yourself, you're a fool." (my saying)