bananaface said:
rule #1: never taunt the official spanker
rule #2: never stand in between the official spanker and one who has taunted her
rule #3: reread rules 1 and 2 frequently
And a few more things. . .
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to The Official Spanker.
Caution: The Official Spanker may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
The Official Spanker Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use The Official Spanker on concrete.
Discontinue use of The Official Spanker if any of the following occurs:
Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart palpitations
If The Official Spanker begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
The Official Spanker may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, The Official Spanker should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...
Failure to do so relieves the makers of The Official Spanker, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of The Official Spanker include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
The Official Spanker has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt The Official Spanker.
The Official Spanker comes with a lifetime guarantee.
The Official Spanker
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!