THANK YOU for asking!!! I can't speak for everyone, but personally I would LOVE to be distracted by my peers. (It's spring break here so that's not really happening) I would love to go out to dinner with my peers who matched and make it through a whole meal without any mention of anything internship-related (Phase I or Phase II). Really anything that friends typically do and just taking out any talk of internship. I think the hardest thing to do is to treat a non-matched person normally (albeit with some extra support perhaps). It's a tricky spot to be in on both ends. I think a lot of my peers feel the same way you do - they want to help but are worried that they'll just make it worse. Then I end up either being ignored or treated with kid gloves, as though I might break if they joke around like normal.
I think my personal do/don't list is something like this: Don't ask me how I feel about Monday (I don't feel good about it), don't ask me what I'm going to do if I don't match (see original post), please please please don't complain about not getting your top choice or the other stressors associated with matching. And I know it's weird, but please don't say "I'm sure you'll match". Everyone said that to me during Phase I too. Didn't work. If at all possible, just don't talk about internship. Do hang out with me, do talk with me (preferably without the sad 'how are you doing
' face), just include me. I already feel left behind because I didn't match (not the fault of anyone who did match), please don't literally leave me behind. Oh and please do be free on Monday if possible - regardless of what the outcome is, I'm going to want my friends around!
If it's good news, I've waited long enough for my celebration and would like to celebrate with my peers just like everyone else did a month ago today. If it's bad news, I *know* I'm going to need the support of my friends, just like I did a month ago today.
With that being said, that's just what *I* would want a peer to do/not do. Others may want to talk about internship or talk about their plans if they don't match on Monday. I just don't. To me, it would be helpful if the rest of my life (anything non-internship related) was normal right now. The stressors of Phase II combined with being around peers who have no idea what to do around me just hurts. And it's understandable - I wouldn't know what to do if I had matched and one of my peers didn't. It's understandably awkward and uncomfortable for everyone.
Really, thank you JDS for asking
It helps, and I wish more would ask.