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brown_girl_premed

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Hi all.

Need your advice. Long story short, I have 2 IAs on my record, and a suspension. I am an OOS college student, but TX resident. Med school dreams all my life. Super expensive, half a million tuition, t25 (was t20) school. Went thru multiple family tragedies while in college, had to come back home twice for 2 different funerals. I am a senior now graduating in August. During my suspended semester took courses at a local college, where everything was super easy. Saw how med school admissions don’t GAF abt undergrad. I always knew that but parent’s forced me to push thru in this super expensive OOS school despite warning signs that my future would tank there. Still somehow don’t see any fault in their logic, despite the fact all my childhood friends who went UT and this local college are getting into stellar TX Med schools, and me on the other hand don’t even cut the bottom 10th percentile of literally all TX med schools.

I am borderline suicidal, depressed, and dejected. My super expensive PHA at my school is no help, has never been. Had no advisors, my major department was a mess not communicative, I should’ve just majored in bio, chem or neuro where my college friends majored and graduated with honors, but again, parent’s decision. Somehow my parents think that the same thing that happened that lead to two IAs (which were for a calc course and a writing course— no neuro or bio or chem major in my school has to take multivariable calc for data science, which I retook 3 times, the third time was the IA and F, or Anthro writing course with a ****, lazy tenured professor), I would’ve ended up as a biology teacher??? My parents think I am a failure and multiple times have asked why i don’t just ***. I have not because I know, seeing the other side as a non degree seeking student and scribing and volunteering with people at these places I used to volunteer at when I was grinding for college apps, who go to UT/the local college I am a NDS student at and are getting admitted into TX med schools, that I could’ve 10000% have gotten into UTSW if I had just gone to UT or this other college, that was my original plan, just major in public health or neuro, was already in a lab. Then somehow got into this amazing OOS college. I am not shooting the school down, it has a million different opportunities and seeing where my graduating class is going, for either master’s in IVYs or post bacc research with the NIH or T20 med schools, i want to too. It’s strange, my alma mater classmates are taking gap years despite high gpa’s, meanwhile my TX friends are getting straight into med school.

Currently I am completing my degree requirements to get my bachelor’s. While taking online physics II at a local 2 year college. And taking more max 15 credits over the summer at this local college aforementioned where i am non degree seeking. So I can have that clean 4.0 upward trend.

I know why med schools have high gpa cut off’s. I understand. Med school is hard AF. I need to show my studying and academic abilities. My goal currently is to take as many post bacc courses in short time span as possible to raise my gpa to a 3.5, if I have time, even to a 3.7, while studying for the MCAT, my last resource to prove myself, shooting for a 520-524, as well as an SMP online for one year, starting next fall. My parents think I am taking infinite gap years. Because I didn’t apply my junior year, I am already on one. PHA said we can try to apply first time in 2026. I am a hard core test taker, despite what my cGPA says. I don’t know how I can possibly say this in any other words, but I should’ve just taken a leave of absence, but like I have said, my parents, ORM Asian household, don’t believe in mental health. LOL only after finally meeting with my PHA where they told them to their faces that I should seek counseling, they have been incessantly talking about it as if it is an insult/shame that I need.

I am applying for remote data analyst jobs, preparing for the MCAT, will work as a volunteer EMS, hope to join a lab as a paid RA. My question is, should I pursue a master’s? I do not want this to be the final transcript that med schools see. And you can’t do much with a bachelor’s degree, especially with the major I am in, whose career path is usually biostatistics or bioinformatics.

The only thing I have gotten from my alma mater is mental health problems. I could’ve been an honors student anywhere else. Especially at this local college where 90% commute, 20 mins away, and I can count on all 10 fingers how many students went on to UTSW by just scribing, honors thesis research, volunteering, and EMT. All of which I have done except for honors.

I know I have done many mistakes in the last 4 years. I am not shifting blame on anyone. I literally have no one to talk to. My parents even in high school, just had expectations of me and i was supposed to deliver. Never did they imagine that I would be in such a situation, where guidance is most needed and the future is so uncertain. I know people who went to similarly highly ranked and difficult colleges (notorious gpa killers) from my high school and got into TX med schools without any gap years, so it was not impossible. I made mistakes and I own up to them. I should’ve been like that. I did not have the mental fortitude to push thru setbacks in college. I probably need time to build that, and I think pursuing a master’s is the best bet to prove that.

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This thread has been reported by several users due to the comments about self-harm. SDN takes such statements seriously and we would like to remind the OP and all posters that SDN should not serve as a place to obtain counseling or other advice regarding significant psychological issues. Anyone who is contemplating harming themselves should immediately seek professional counseling advice, not rely on SDN or other non-professional resources.

Members who have serious concerns about their career and would like to post details more anonymously may do so in the Confidential Consult forum.

At this time, given the nature of the thread and the concerns expressed, the moderation staff of SDN will close this thread.
 
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