- Joined
- Sep 21, 2012
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This is going to sound ridiculous, but it's not a joke, I assure you I am 100% serious.
I'm having a lot of trouble in 3rd year. I was OK first and second years, but now that I'm 2 months into 3rd year I am finding myself very uncomfortable. I really don't like being in the hospital or around sick people- it scares me. The entire environment gives me the creeps. Looking at disfigured and diseased people freaks me out. Maybe because I know that could very well be me someday. I don't want to feel this way, I know it's terrible, but I can't stop it. I've always known that I was uncomfortable in medical settings, especially around blood and needles, but I felt that I should just "man up" and get over it. But now, 3 years into med school, I'm still not over it and I don't know if I ever will be. I'm terrified going in every day. Has anyone else here encountered this? Does it get better? Is there something I can do to get over it? I dont' know how I'll handle another 2 years and then residency. If I could go into a field like radiology or pathology, that wouldn't be so bad, but my Step score and grades are pretty mediocre and I've been told by the dean that primary care is my best bet.
Some people tell me to quit, but I can't. I don't have anywhere else to go if I do, and there's really nothing else I have thought of doing, though working at a desk job in an office somewhere might be better. Fortunately I don't have loans, because my parents have covered my tuition. They've worked really hard- extra hours, weekends, etc- to get the money for it. I can't just throw out that money by leaving, not to mention all the hard work and effort I've put into getting this far.
I'm just really desperate right now. I can't go to anyone in my school about this because it just sounds absurd and wrong... that's why I'm posting it anonymously on a message board.
I'm having a lot of trouble in 3rd year. I was OK first and second years, but now that I'm 2 months into 3rd year I am finding myself very uncomfortable. I really don't like being in the hospital or around sick people- it scares me. The entire environment gives me the creeps. Looking at disfigured and diseased people freaks me out. Maybe because I know that could very well be me someday. I don't want to feel this way, I know it's terrible, but I can't stop it. I've always known that I was uncomfortable in medical settings, especially around blood and needles, but I felt that I should just "man up" and get over it. But now, 3 years into med school, I'm still not over it and I don't know if I ever will be. I'm terrified going in every day. Has anyone else here encountered this? Does it get better? Is there something I can do to get over it? I dont' know how I'll handle another 2 years and then residency. If I could go into a field like radiology or pathology, that wouldn't be so bad, but my Step score and grades are pretty mediocre and I've been told by the dean that primary care is my best bet.
Some people tell me to quit, but I can't. I don't have anywhere else to go if I do, and there's really nothing else I have thought of doing, though working at a desk job in an office somewhere might be better. Fortunately I don't have loans, because my parents have covered my tuition. They've worked really hard- extra hours, weekends, etc- to get the money for it. I can't just throw out that money by leaving, not to mention all the hard work and effort I've put into getting this far.
I'm just really desperate right now. I can't go to anyone in my school about this because it just sounds absurd and wrong... that's why I'm posting it anonymously on a message board.