A (sad?) realization

[SiriusObserver]

Hello SDN,

I usually don't turn to the webs for support/advice but at the moment I feel a little isolated from those who can relate to what I'm feeling. This is my first year at a four year institution and my junior year overall. I'm a bit of a nontraditional and spent my first two years at an extension college so that I could nail it and actually get into a decent university (my high school transcripts were unimpressive to say the least). During my first semester in undergrad I decided to pursue biomedical engineering and I've never regretted that. Especially now that I'm in the design curriculum and getting to work on some really interesting projects.

What I've been really concerned with lately, however, is the amount of work required of me to remain a competitive applicant. 18 credit semesters were a bit busy during Fr and So years but definitely doable, even with commuting. But here comes Jr year and all of a sudden a 15 credit semester takes up ALL of my time. Consistent late weeknights just to keep up and weekends at the library for 20 or more hours are the standard.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love school, and the classes I get to take will always fascinate me. And it's exactly for this reason that I really don't mind putting in so much work. Sure I still have my lows full of loneliness and self pity - and there are definitely times I think how nice it might be to see some friends or just take a walk. But it's pretty easy to not let that stuff bother me when I think about how exciting it will be to get that acceptance letter. Lately, of all the positive thoughts that keep me going, even that one comes with the sting of a cold realization. If I can barely keep up in undergrad how will I ever make it in med school? I've heard the stories, the ones about people who flew through undergrad with minimal effort but after getting into medical school spend their entire waking hours studying. If I'm already studying nonstop in undergrad, where will the extra time required for the academic rigors of medical school come from?

Again, I'm ok with the whole no life thing, but I want to actually be successful if I get into med school. I don't want to be an ok doctor, I want to be a great doctor. Maybe I'm not cut out for medical school. Maybe I'm just a whiney lump. And I'm really not sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Support? A cold slap of truth? To vent some of my thoughts...

Anyway, If anyone has input or is experiencing something similar, I'd be glad to hear it. Now, time to get back to studying.

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[TehTeddy]

Maybe I'm not cut out for medical school. Maybe I'm just a whiney lump.

That's the spirit!

But seriously, I think if you're motivated enough and doing well now, you'll be ok. Mind you I say this as a pre-med, so I haven't actually handled the rigors first-hand. However, I've read from other areas of the forum that people's study habits change once they get to medical school. What worked in undergrad may not work there. It's likely you'll adapt once you get there, and modulate your habits to accommodate the extra workload (maybe become more efficient?). It's hard to say since I don't know you, or anything really. Maybe take a gap year if you're feeling burnt? There are some other threads on this topic as well.

 

[Paramagnetic]

Most people have felt the way you do at some point in their academic career. If life has taught me one thing, it's that if you go to sleep knowing you did the absolute best you could have - then everything will be OK.

Keep up the grind my friend

 

[GadRads]

The good thing is, you will be used to this in medical school. But take some time, once in a while, to relax or de-stress. Exercise and the gym are great places. On a occasion, go see a movie or party with friends.

 

[Sardinia]

@SiriusObserver No. I disagree with the sympathetic approach.

You have time to see your friends and go out for a walk, especially on 15 credits. The issue is that you place both the aforementioned things on a much lower tier than your studies which you are currently putting on a pedestal. I've never done an engineering curriculum so I won't go any further, if you disagree then I concede. Only you understand yourself the best and what you need to sacrifice in order to make the contributions you are making. However, there's a concept called diminishing returns where inadvertently the more time you tunnel into something, it will seem like you are getting a proportionally reduced return back. This negative feedback loop can lead to burnout and depression which are subconscious factors that are a part of the pre-medical process of attempting to maximize your grades with the minimal amount of effort/time possible.

For these reasons, this is why people do hardcore gym exercises to make it feel like they are alive in the here and now or see family to cement their accomplishments with people who want to see them succeed. These positive feedback mechanisms are important for you to keep going hard into your studies whether you are conscious of it or not. Medical students themselves take breaks from active learning because they understand that they can't study 12 hours straight with the intensity they put into teaching themselves new pneumonics, analytical approaches, or whatever skills they need to pass the next exam.

Passion should be something that feels organic and grows on you, it shouldn't feel inorganic and make you question yourself. This isn't dismissing what you chose to do, but rather is a question of altering how you feel on a day to day basis about how you should approach your studies in order to find a way to incorporate your family and working out with studying. Some basic ideas are possibly bringing some memorization items and going them over your head while you are jogging. This way you don't have to strain to read a book and accumulate more information, but rather refreshing your ability to recall information. When you see friends you can keep notes on your phone for the information due that week so you can sneak peaks when everyone else in on their phones.

If there is a way to transform your study ethic into study habits, then your frontal lobe can be used to orient yourself to additional tasks or perhaps just taking it easy. I don't mean to curb your enthusiasm. I just read your paragraph and I thought you are starting to approach a burn out mindset which may be effective in the short term, but may do more harm than good in the bigger scope of your entire marathon run.

 

[mistafab]

Hey there OP.

I highly suggest you cut yourself out 1 hour everyday to do what it is you like. You need to learn self-care strategies now while the stakes are relatively low.

I took up the gym. Some people take up guitar or rock climbing. Whatever it is, you need to give yourself some of your own respect and treat yourself how you should be treated. It should help you get out of these funks and you'll likely see little or no dip in your performance while seeing a large increase in your satisfaction.

These are habits you need to learn now, because some of my peers never learned and find themselves having a tough time adjusting mentally in medical school despite their good study habits.