Abusive advisor (?)

[cdrich]

Hey all,

I know similar stories to this have been posted. Mine is slightly different, as I'm currently a first-year and there is potential for change. Please hear me out and let me know your thoughts.

Last year, I interviewed to work with my advisor. I advertised myself as doing 2 things in particular- a & b. They took me on the premise of a, but never expressed that they only had interests in me doing a.

Upon my arrival, I expressed that my interests have grown and I'm more interested in doing B. They seemed okay with this and we developed my projects on the basis of B, my role in the lab on the basis of b.

Over the course of the year, they started dropping subtle hints that they want me to do research in a. I actively express that my interests have changed, and that it's not something I'd like to continue dedicating my time to. My masters thesis on B, i'm research coordinating the project on B, and am planning my f31 on B.

Progressively, my meetings with my advisor have gotten completely hostile and inappropriate. They have actively told me on two occasions that they "wouldn't have taken me" in retrospect, among a variety of other comments (about my personal appearance, personality [i'm quiet, she called me "interpersonally ineffective", "obstinate"-- and has called other students "less bright", etc]). Other grad students in my lab have had serious issues as well- my advisor's made inappropriate comments about appearance, mental health, race, other students, etc. Faculty members (both within and outside of the dept) have had similar issues with my advisor and boundary issues, respect, etc.

At this point, I don't know how to handle the situation, my advisor's unrealistic expectations, idealized version of me, etc. I feel unwanted in the lab, and like my advisor resents having me here. It has been especially disheartening because I was very excited to come to this program.

One other student in the lab has spoke up about the way they've been treated, and it made them an active target and actively disliked/ talked about by my advisor, both openly, in personal meetings, and greater discussions with the lab. Our advisor now actively picks on this grad student and makes it completely transparent that they think this student is not competent/productive, etc.

At this point, there is one other advisor in the department I could see myself working with. The potential mentor is new, recently tenured, less research productive, THOUGH they carry out research on B.

What is everyone's advice on the situation? How would older students, people that have been through similar situations resolve it (in retrospect), and knowing how they've responded to other students who have brought up problems? Do you think I should switch advisors, stay, etc?

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[erg923]

Switch labs. Period. Life is too short and grad school too long to be miserable for the next 5 years.

Environments like this also do not allow for proper modeling of supervsior-supervisee relationships (which you need to learn for future jobs) and could quite possiblity leave you jaded and/or angry about the field. Probably not good for your professional development nor for your patients.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

Completely switching interests (particularly if they're in completely different areas) after gaining admission can be tough, and I can potentially see how that might irk/irritate a supervisor.

But in this case, it doesn't sound like your advisor is handling things appropriate at all (e.g., personal attacks are never appropriate), so I agree with erg--look into just switching labs. If that's not possible, see if there's perhaps at least another prof in the department willing to take you under her/his wing to offer guidance, other research experience, etc.

 

[member978]

Wow that sounds like an incredibly challenging situation! Graduate school can be stressful enough without having to deal with interpersonal problems and an unsupportive/abuse advisor, so it seems the sooner you can get out of that, the better.

I would suggest using the chain of command in the department to see who else you can talk to about these issues. I would think meeting with your DCT to discuss the professional and personal issues you are having would be useful in figuring out how to best move forward

 

[cch0113]

Wow that sounds like an incredibly challenging situation! Graduate school is challenging enough without having to deal with interpersonal problems and an unsupportive/abuse advisor, so it seems the sooner you can get out of that, the better.

I would suggest using the chain of command in the department to see who else you can talk to about these issues. I would think meeting with your DCT to discuss the professional and personal issues you are having would be useful in figuring out how to best move forward

I second this. At most of my interviews, we were told explicitly that we were not linked to our mentor! Most sites said that if you didn't mesh well with your mentor, or our interests changed, they would work with us. This might be a little more tricky in a program like mine, where the mentor is actually paying for your tuition and stipend, but even my program said they have ways of dealing with this. I would try to see the silver lining and be glad you figured this out so early. I would think it be much easier to switch mentors at this point in the game rather than half way through!

 

[sardonic]

Switch. Absolutely switch. It can be incredibly stressful to negotiate a lab switch, but it is 100% worth it in the end, at least in my experience. For political reasons, I would recommend negotiating the switch based on a shift in research interests rather than a conflict with the particular advisor. I switched during my second year, and it was stressful, but it turned out really well and I ended up in a lab where I am doing completely different research than what I was admitted to do. I have a strong relationship with my new advisor, and am still cordial with my original advisor.

 

[CheetahGirl]

I agree with the others. Spend your energy figuring out how to switch advisors, not how to deal with this inappropriate supervisor.

I switched advisors in my 3rd year but only b/c my original POI was retiring (but even this advisor was decent enough to be "straight-up" and honest the entire time).

When an advisor comments on your physical appearance, personality, or intellect, it should always be in a manner that is constructive & helpful (like I remember a supervisor having to tell a colleague that he/she needed to cut down on the cigarette breaks before conducting therapy with his/her patients because the therapist was becoming cigarette-stinky), but to comment on one's race/ethnicity, age, or cross ethical boundaries in other ways is not acceptable. OP, sounds like your advisor is a train wreck, and you don't need to waste your graduate school training sorting through this professor's personality, professional, and reasoning deficits. Find someone more appropriate to advise you and model how one should behave when one supervises clinical research work.

 

[EmotRegulation]

I agree with the "switch" advice. And before that, document everything. Keep all emails with derogatory information stated by this professor. Write down conversations immediately after they happen, with times/dates. The conversations might not be real documented evidence, but still worth doing. If you can record meetings, do so (but obviously--if there are people who have to miss lab meeting, ask to record to keep them in the loop, or in individual meetings, ask to record so you can remember things that are discussed, etc.--don't record without permission). It can be difficult to exert repercussions on tenured faculty, but not impossible, and good administrators will want to know what's happening. Switching labs will help you, but documenting the abuse of your current advisor will help everyone, especially future mentees.

 

[VntAct]

I also agree with the switch advice. I've been in a similar situation, but without a good research match lab to switch to. Even if the advisor you switch to is less productive in general than your current advisor, your personal productivity may well increase. Both feeling unwanted and emotional abuse really does take a toll on you, and students in my lab are often unproductive because of it. Add that to the professor's self-esteem problems around research, and the research process becomes much much slower. I cannot emphasize the toll this sort of relationship can take on a person and how it can grind at you. If someone had told me anytime in my life that I'd be in this situation and stay in it, I would have laughed at them. The progression of abuse can be so subtle that you don't realize how bad it's gotten until you're in a corner. It sounds like currently you have a clear view of what's going on and a way out; take it before your personal resources become depleted. Also, the longer you stay, the more likely you are to fall prey to Rusbult's Investment Model.

 

[LucidMind]

Okay...this is ridiculous. I agee with what peole are saying about switching but I would also seriously consider reporting that jerk to the APA ethics board. Sounds like they are breaking more than one rule in the ethics code.

 

[smalltownpsych]

Okay...this is ridiculous. I agee with what peole are saying about switching but I would also seriously consider reporting that jerk to the APA ethics board. Sounds like they are breaking more than one rule in the ethics code.

I am not clear what the ethics violation is. What she is describing sounds like rude behavior that can be addressed a number of ways short of reporting to the APA. In fact, the APA ethics code suggests that these be used first. Also, we don't know the full context of the remarks that the supervisor is making so to advise that a complaint be filed is premature.

 

[WisNeuro]

Agree, switch labs. I also fail to see where the ethical code violation is. Filing an improper complaint actually is an ethics code violation, so I would be careful with throwing that around all willy nilly.

 

[LucidMind]

It doesnt violate a ethics code huh?

APA Ethics Code 3.01:
Psychologists do not knowingly engage in behavior
that is harassing or demeaning to persons with whom they
interact in their work based on factors such as those persons’
age, gender, gender identity, race, ethnicity, culture, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, disability, language, or socioeconomic status.

Let me make it clear, I do not think people should report violations to the APA without first trying to solve the problem informally and/or talking to that professor's supervisor. Just switching labs is not solving the problem, the professor will continue to do damage (emotional, academic) to future students. Just my opinion.

 

[WisNeuro]

You can try for that one, it's probably hard one to prove. Better have a lot of proof. Also, we're assuming that the advisor is licensed and not just a researcher. Many clinical faculty that are researchers are not licensed. Not saying the situation doesn't suck, just saying the best you can probably hope for is switching labs, and if future students ask about said advisor, so your best to give them the objectives.

 

[smalltownpsych]

It doesnt violate a ethics code huh?

APA Ethics Code 3.01:
Psychologists do not knowingly engage in behavior
that is harassing or demeaning to persons with whom they
interact in their work based on factors such as those persons’
age, gender, gender identity, race, ethnicity, culture, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, disability, language, or socioeconomic status.

Let me make it clear, I do not think people should report violations to the APA without first trying to solve the problem informally and/or talking to that professor's supervisor. Just switching labs is not solving the problem, the professor will continue to do damage (emotional, academic) to future students. Just my opinion.

The original poster's assertion of what she experienced directly from this supervisor does not appear to meet that criteria of harassment based on those factors. The poster stated that they had heard that others had experienced being demeaned because of those factors. I was speaking to the former rather than the latter since I give second-hand information less weight.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

If an APA complaint is lodged, then as another poster mentioned, having documentation of the exact nature of the problematic behaviors would be important. So statements such as "unrealistic expectations, idealized version of me, etc" and "I feel unwanted in the lab, and like my advisor resents having me here" would have to give way to things such as, "on XX/XX/XX, my advisor stated XX."

Before that happens, though, as has been stated, trying to address this through internal channels would be the first step. Regardless of whether or not you switch labs, talking to your DCT is what I would say you should aim for next; talking with other grad students about it, while allowing you to vent, is unfortunately also a great way to have all sorts of rumors start circulating.