Adversity/Challenge Question

veepfan

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    Hi everyone, thank you in advance for your help! I'm currently working on pre-writing secondaries, and I wanted to run what I am planning to talk about for my adversity/challenge answer to see if it would raise any red flags. Specifically, I was in a physically, emotionally abusive relationship for several years - which led to me finally having the courage to get out and seek a restraining order. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do, and I grew stronger, more resilient for it. I want to talk about it on my application and have admission committees know this part of my life - but I have been told by many people, including my therapist, that it is not something I should disclose because society still negatively views women who have gone through domestic violence (by thinking - what did she do to lead to this?) Do you think this would be an okay topic to discuss or should I not do so because it could lead to red flags?
     
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    hellothere69420

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      I do think that this is a red flag and that you should probably look at alternative stories.

      At the same time, it is extremely problematic that being a victim of abuse is a red flag for medical schools. This is something that needs to change to advance the system of education and care. OP, I’m really sorry that you’re in this situation— caught between sharing something important to you and societal pushback.
       
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      gonnif

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        I think its fine. With the large fraction of both women and men who are in abusive relationships, it will give insight to an issue that many patients suffer and do not know share with their physicians. Relate your story to the wider community that suffers from it, how physicians should be aware of this and how you can add your perspective to your class as you go thru medical school
         
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        jhmmd

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          veepfan said:
          society still negatively views women who have gone through domestic violence (by thinking - what did she do to lead to this?
          Just wanted to add, not sure if you have already received or are receiving therapy for this incident OP, but this is NOT the right way to phrase things like this. Abuse is NEVER the victim's fault, no matter what. You remind me of people that say "so-and-so wore a short skirt to a club, therefore she deserved to be groped"--this is crap. It's just a very outdated way of thinking about sexual abuse and abuse.

          Did your therapist actually tell you not to write about this using that terminology--"what did she do that led to this?" Maybe you need a new therapist.
           
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          Goro

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            Hi everyone, thank you in advance for your help! I'm currently working on pre-writing secondaries, and I wanted to run what I am planning to talk about for my adversity/challenge answer to see if it would raise any red flags. Specifically, I was in a physically, emotionally abusive relationship for several years - which led to me finally having the courage to get out and seek a restraining order. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do, and I grew stronger, more resilient for it. I want to talk about it on my application and have admission committees know this part of my life - but I have been told by many people, including my therapist, that it is not something I should disclose because society still negatively views women who have gone through domestic violence (by thinking - what did she do to lead to this?) Do you think this would be an okay topic to discuss or should I not do so because it could lead to red flags?
            This will be an excellent subject, as the wise Gonnif has explained.

            On no planet would this be a red flag for Admissions.
             
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            veepfan

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              Thank you all for your advice! That's really helpful and reassuring! @jhkmd, I totally agree that that kind of language is awful - I was just pointing out what I feared could be Admissions reaction to domestic violence. My therapist mentioned that this is how society sometimes views these issues, which is horribly problematic
               
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